I hate playing team sports. I am a miserable athlete. Partly because I lack athletic prowess and partly because I don’t give a damn if I personally succeed in sports.
It has been like this since I fell in a hole on a soccer field in 1st grade. Soccer out. In 2nd grade, I played softball, but moved out-of-state the next year and never played (on purpose) again. Softball out. Somewhere around 4th or 5th grade the teachers decided we needed to play an organized sport during recess. I was subjected daily to being picked almost last (luckily not last) to team sports such as kickball and basketball. Kickball out. Basketball out. Around this same time, volleyball, the most evil of all team sports, was introduced in PE. I despised this game of hard balls being spiked at you while you were expected to use your tender skin to hit this same effing ball over the net. Volleyball definitely out. In 7th grade I tried out for cheerleading (okay it’s a stretch to call it a team sport) and didn’t even make the first cut. Devastating as it was…Cheerleading out. I swam my freshman year, but quit because it stressed me out so badly. Swimming out. In college, there were ample team sporting opportunities through intramurals and fraternity/sorority fundraisers. Yeah, I didn’t participate in THOSE activities. When we lived in Decatur, Tate joined a co-ed softball team which was always lacking in females. The team would ask those of us in the stands to play, but since I already mentioned that softball is out for me, I’d purposely wear flip flops or a skirt so there was no way I could be goaded into playing.
This is probably why I live out my team sports fantasies vicariously through teams like the St. Louis Cardinals and the University of Tennessee Volunteers. Last night, the Cards won game 7 of the NLCS to go to the World Series. It was so exciting, I felt like I had won! Of course, I had nothing to do with the win. I hope Peanut got his Daddy’s sporting gene so that he doesn’t have to win games by watching them on TV!