I have never failed a test before. I am the ultimate overachiever. No amount of studying could have prepared me for my glucose screen last Thursday. I failed the damn test. Crappity, crap, crap, crap.
I now get to return to the dr’s office next week for a THREE HOUR glucose test which will either confirm or rule out gestational diabetes.
Let’s just say that I really don’t need to add anymore stress, but my molecular makeup does not allow for me to be nonchalant about things such as these. Here’s just a wee glimmer of some of the “try not to panic, you can’t be in control of everything, holy moly I can’t breath, I feel so guilty” list of my current stresses:
Have I mentioned that I may have gestational diabetes? This can cause fetal distress or a large baby, but…
I only measured 27 weeks last Thursday (I’m 29 weeks). I had Intrauterine Growth Restriction in my first pregnancy. So maybe I have GD and IUGR. Spectacular.
I had to find someone to watch Peanut for me when I go for my test. Seeing as we are rarely apart, I feel anxious leaving him. There’s an excellent possibility that he isn’t going to like that I’m leaving him. Awesome, makes me feel like an A #1 Mommy.
Tate left for a trip to St. Louis this weekend to attend him Dad’s retirement party. Peanut and I didn’t go because I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY didn’t want to sit in a car for 22 hours this weekend. Bad idea with frequent pee breaks, aching joints, and a sciatic nerve that’s tormenting me. Doesn’t mean that I don’t feel guilty. Doesn’t mean that FIL and MIL haven’t said things like “we’ll buy you a plane ticket, we really wish you could come.” Yep, just a little more guilt. Yippee.
When discussing GD with Tate, he said something to the effect that it’s probably because of all the sugar and bread I’ve been eating. Screw off. I don’t eat many sweets, CARB NAZI. Hmmm, he’s not the one who spent several hours online googling this damn disease, in the middle of the night, because I was so flipping worried. By the way, it isn’t the fault of the mother…Somehow, though, this information isn’t really helping me feel better. Dynamite.
I’ve been feeling so down, Elmo and Blue have had to take over some of my Mommy duties. Terrific.
I’m going to go breath into a brown paper sack now. Aren’t you glad you read this? I’ll try to be funnier tomorrow. Promise. Well, maybe on Wednesday.