Welcome back for my final installment of the blogging book-a-long on 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan.
The final section of this book is all about how to strengthen your relationship with your child(ren). Self-esteem, overparenting, affection, praise, listening, and one-on-one time are all discussed.
I really liked that Dr. Phelan reminded me that self-esteem is “a by-product of a life well-lived.” This means that self-esteem comes from social, work, physical, and character competence. And you can’t have these competentencies with an obnoxious, misbehaving kiddo. So I guess one “reward” for the hard work we as parents put into raising our children with discipline is a well-adjusted, happy child.
The chapter on overparenting made me laugh, uncomfortably, because I completely saw myself saying and doing some of the things he discussed. Overparenting is pointing out the obvious to our kids, not letting them work out problems independently, and making issues out of “trivial” issues.
Dr. Phelan also reminded us parents of the utmost importance of doling out affection and praise. Instead of only pointing out negatives, we should make every effort to also point out and praise the positives. Sounds easy enough, but in a day bogged down with nagging, meal prep, diaper changes, and everythingelsemothersdoonadailybasis, we tend to forget to say the good things. I will try my best NOT to forget this advice.
I think this book is a great read and full of great advice. I don’t think it’s implementation will be easy, Dr. Phelan never said that it was. The no talking/no emotion rule is a toughy. The consistency will be difficult to maintain. However, for my sanity and my child(ren)’s well-being I think it will be worth it.
Thanks again to Kristen at The Mom Trap for suggesting this blogging book-a-long. The next book is Protecting the Gift. I think I’ll participate in this one, too. It’s about keeping our kids safe. I can’t even watch news segments or read anything about a child being hurt, or read Parents magazine, but I’ll give this book a shot. I think this is a MUST READ.