Here’s the scene…
Location: Babies R Us
The Characters: Lots of first time pregnant women with their mothers and me and a screaming Shel
As I’m browsing with my screaming daughter, who has JUST eaten, I’m receiving lots of stares. Stares that say “THAT woman needs to help her baby, THAT woman is a terrible mother, THAT woman needs my assvice.”
Please note that just a little while back I asked all of you for advice as to how to help Shel with her colic. I’m eternally grateful for this advice for which I asked.
I do not, however, take kindly to people (specifically strangers whom don’t even have their own kids yet) spewing off assvice as if they’ve taken verbal ex-lax.
Here’s what I heard…
“Have you tried to hold her upright, she looks so uncomfortable how you’re holding her.”
To Shel…”Your Mommy just isn’t paying any attention to you is she?!”
“That is one hungry baby.”
“Get yourself some (you fill in the blank) and she’ll never cry again. It worked like a charm for my best friend’s, uncle’s, next door neighbor’s, veterinarian who had a colicky baby.”
“She needs her binky.” (This after Shel has spit it out in brutal anger for the umpteenth time.)
I didn’t say anything to these people for fear of bursting into tears. Not tears of frustration, but the hot, angry tears you get when you feel backed into a corner, minimized, looked at with scorn.
I need a really good come back for times like these, as they will continue as long as I go in public and Shel is colicky. I want to say something to the effect of f*ck off, but more eloquently.
Any suggestions? (Getting advice when asking for it…cool! Getting assvice from randoms…Infuriating.)