I spoke with Tate just a few hours ago. He had arrived in Knoxville for the retirement party he is attending.
“I miss you guys so much,” he told me as he was getting off the phone. He even sounded sincere.
Really, I certainly appreciate the sentiment that he misses us. Let’s be honest, though. He has a completely child-free evening ahead of him. There will be a catered dinner and free alcohol and he misses us?
I don’t think so. ‘Cause to be honest, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t miss us at all. Not even a tiny bit. And I doubt I could even sound sincere when I lied and said “I miss you guys so much.”
Maybe this makes me a shitty parent. But, the prospect of a child-free evening with friends, good food, and free drinks sounds pretty f*cking great. There isn’t even a possibility of one of these luxury evenings anywhere in my future.
Just in case I were to get away for a child-free evening, afternoon, or even bathroom break, I probably need to practice doing my best impression of a doting and devoted Mom, desperately missing my little darlings.
I bet that I could do a better job lying after I got a few of those free drinks down me.