Yesterday, I needed to use the restroom and take care of some *ahem* business. Of course, I had an entourage, as Moms do when they go to the facilities. Carson playing in the cupboards, Ella on the bathmat (where else are you supposed to put the infant in the bathroom?), and my two dogs all gathered together for my trip to the Superbowl.
Unfortunately for Carson, I was taking too long (dammit if I missed a few doses of Colace). He wanted me sing songs.
So there I sat perched on the pot, singing songs for my audience.
The ants go marching one by one HURRAH! HURRAH!…. The wheels on the bus go round and round… This old man, he played one, he played knick knack on my thumb…Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man…
(Yes, I really DID have to sing that many songs.)
I believe that I have truly become a multitasking extraordinaire, especially so since I’m a Mom of two.
You’re impressed, I can tell.
Hahaha….too true. My daughter has just got to that point where she can follow me around the apartment, no matter where I go. bathroom? No problem, Mum, let me just scoot my way over there and…hey, is that a trash can? Can I pull it over?
ohhhh yeah – that’s when my daughter decides SHE NEEDS TO GO POTTY.
RIGHT.
NOW.
Doesn’t matter that there’s another bathroom downstairs. Noooooo.
She needs THIS bathroom.
RIGHT.
NOW.
I’m so impressed that I can’t believe you accept me as your friend.
I’m not worthy!
We never really let babyhead in the bathroom…we have a gate up so he can’t get in so he always sits at the gate. When he first started cruising around and following me is when we started leaving the door open so he could see us in there. When I told peopel this they always got wide eyed that I left the door open…but then again most of these people are childess and do not realize that when you become a parent you can no longer go to the bathroom for privacy. lol
Your trip to the Superbowl…hee! I love it!
Bwahahaha! You’re hilarious! I can’t type a lot because my Blogger comment window is f’d.
Oooooh, I am SO impressed! DV has just learned to wash his own hands with bar soap… so that always serves for the entertainment in our bathroom… climb steps- turn on water- scrub until mom is done…. then scream when she wants to wash the soap off hands!!!
You da mom!
Stinkerbell likes to walk laps around me while in the bathroom. If she could make the complete CIRCLE around the pot, she would. Instead, she just walks the HORSESHOE shape around me while I poop and my head EXPLODES!
“I just want to be with you mommy.”
“be with me out there. close the door. no go outside and close the door behind you.”
“I just want to be with you. I just love you.”
like I don’t love her. She’s still alive = proof I love her.
“stand in the hall. out. in. the. hall. on. the. carpet. out. oouuuuuutttt. in. the. hall. go. out. now. LET ME POOP FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING!”
then there was the time she was sick to her stomach and it was the first pee of the day – which can’t be stopped no matter what – and she puked between my legs into the pot while I peed.
Now THERE’S something to tell a potential boyfriend!!!
Yup. I am impressed. I can’t sing while I poop. Just something I know about myself.
But I do know about the porcelain entourage…I have one too.
Whenever I have to go I yell, “C’mon everyone…everybody in!”
Man, you must have missed quite a few doses if you had time to sing all those songs! I’m just sayin.
soo been there. The boys now bring me book to read to them while I’m on the pot and I have to say it’s much harder to um do your business with so many other things to occupy you! hahaha!
Well, at least they didn’t ask you to dance too. Hey mommy, sing and tap and while you’re at it, use jazz hands!
I’m attempting to break the entourage chain. The dog is easy to kick out, Charity, not so easy, but we’re working on it… We’re up to banging on the door with her saying ‘mommy, I need you.’
I am beyond impressed!
When Gage was much younger, I mastered the task of going to the restroom & nursing at the same time…then you’ve got to wipe, pull your pants up, and wash your hands…. yes, I did all of that one-handed, and was quite impressed with myself….
The multi-tasking of motherhood….
Oh, I *am* impressed! I don’t know that marching ant song at all!
“Superbowl.” Absolutely genius.
There’s a rock group of housewives called “HOP” (Housewives on Prozac) and the coversong for one of their albums is “I Only Want to Pee Alone.” I’ve never heard it, but I’m a fan nonetheless.
Happy trails in the bathroom. Or would you consider it more of an auditorium?
been there. without the singing, but with an impressed face and an “oooh!” after the, um, splash.
It’s more than I dare attempt!
Had Crusher been there he would’ve been sure to flush the toilet at least 3 times during your “visit.”
This is the part of parenting that you just can’t possibly imagine until it becomes a regular, unremarkable part of your life and you can no longer imagine any realistic alternative, like solitude.
Well, color me impressed.
I swear I can NEVER to the bathroom alone….either a 4 year old or the two year old wants to be there. The two year old does a running commentary….”Oh wow mommy, you have pretty underwear, why do you peepee so long….oh man, that stinks! ” Well, get the he!! out of here then!
I am HUGELY impressed at your ability to pull that off with an audience. Peeing is one thing… but the other? No way in hell.
VERY impressed. Since my little Tim can crawl, I have had only few moments alone in the bathroom.
I’m not sure if I’m impressed or a little grossed out (ok maybe a lot grossed out). Please somebody tell me this isn’t what it’s really like.
Superbowl…that is the funniest thing I have heard in a while. I have heard about this phenom…of course, I got my kid at age 13 (his age, not mine) so if he decided to go to the potty with me..well, that would be too icky to even think about! I am in awe of your skills!
This is why God made Elmo. So I can poop in peace. Also, Elmo should get laid SIMPLY for that sole reason that I can crap by myself. (Apparently I’m not as good for multitasking as you are.)
P.S. I’ve TOTALLY gone to the bathroom with the infant in the sling. Oh, yes, I have. (I don’t know if this is impressive or HORRIBLY embarrassing).
Punkin’ isn’t very interested in my going potty so I do get to go alone most of the time, though occasionally he will want to check out the results.
I mean, he has discovered his own equipment and all of its functionalities – my poop is just soooooo yesterday!
When Little Elvis was just a few weeks old, I had to feed him while going. This was like the Olympics for a novice mom. Luckily I haven’t had to do that again. But he does seem to think I’m very entertaining when I go to the bathroom.