Despite watching years and years of daytime/self-help-style talk shows like Donahue, Oprah, and Dr. Phil, and learning that you cannot expect people to read your mind, this is exactly the trap I set for my ever-suffering husband yesterday. Despite my husband’s kind offers to take the kids out for the day to give me a break or to do anything I could reasonably imagine, all I could muster in response was a mournful and sigh-laden, “I don’t know.” **shrugs and pouts**
I swear I don’t know how he stays married to me. I am insufferable!
In some sort of defense of myself, I do have several reasons why I didn’t jump at Tate’s offer to make himself and the kids scarce. First, I’ll admit to being completely ashamed that I’d rather not be around my children on Mother’s Day. I feel like I must have some sort of mothering flaw to want to send my children away on the the ONE day that celebrates mothering them. Aside from my inherent flaws, I also know, well I at least hope, that solitude will not be my solo goal for future Mother’s Days. One day I won’t spend every waking second with them and I’ll WANT to spend a special day like Mother’s Day with my kids.
I was also afraid to take Tate’s offer of solitude because I was afraid that I’d answer too gleefully. “YES! Go AWAY. Go FAR, FAR away and don’t come back for hours. Leave me the hell alone! Amen! I don’t have to spend the day with you SUCKAS! I’m FREE! FREEEEEEEE!”
So instead I moped and sulked and heavy sighed. My logical self kept telling my asshole self to just come out and tell Tate that yes, I would really enjoy spending the day alone. My asshole self kept telling my logical self that Tate should JUST KNOW that I want to be alone, since I was obviously sending him all sorts of signs.
Thank goodness my logical side gave my asshole side a swift kick in, well, the ass.
I finally told Tate that it would be really nice if he and the kids left for awhile. Without complaining, Tate got the kids ready and they left for the afternoon. He even took them during their afternoon nap, which in and of itself makes Tate a SAINT.
Amen.
While they were gone I caught up on this season of the best of trash TV, The Hills, and watched a few episodes of WE’s High School Confidential (thanks for tip on this show Shelly!). I also peed blissfully alone which was truly thrilling.
When they returned, St. Tate informed me that he’d made the executive decision to make me a fabulous dinner. Without any help from me, he grilled ribeyes, roasted asparagus, and made a spinach salad with warm bacon dressing. For dessert he made ice cream floats. Then he cleaned up the kitchen and folded laundry all by himself while I enjoyed a glass of wine.
Apparently St. Tate actually can read my mind.
Pam
May 12, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’m new to your blog and am enjoying it! I have to say that I am totally one of those moms that enjoys Mother’s Day alone. That is the only gift I request. Time to do whatever I want. Yesteday I got to sleep LATE, shop, and go for a walk! It was wonderful. Glad you got your day – and dinner – and enjoyed it!
Pam’s last blog post..Sunday Funnies
Jennifer
Twitter: playgroupie
May 12, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Welcome Pam!
I’m definitely going to ask for alone time more often because it was so fantastic!
Angie
May 12, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Aw…what a great husband! I hope you enjoyed your free time. I love my husband…but…my Mother’s Day started with both kids up at 6 a.m. DH still in bed. Breakfast at Waffle House in the pouring rain, off to Grandma’s where he napped on the couch until it was time to go home. Then he went out to the barn to “do some work” while I fed, bathed, and jammied the kids. Happy Mother’s Day to me. The best part of my day? My mom and dad got me a $50 gift card for Starbucks.
Angie’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day
feener
Twitter: mommyvents
May 12, 2008 at 5:33 pm
that was a great post. i swear you are reading MY MIND. i find the whole thing hard as well. on the weekends hubby says what do you need to do – when do you need some alone time and i freeze and get all snobby and mopey. WTF is wrong with me.
this was the first time that i just let him go and enjoyed myself and didn’t get mopey. i had the BEST day ever….
feener’s last blog post..My favorite gift ! A giveaway
MommyCosm
Twitter: mommycosm
May 12, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I, personally, had a SHITerrific Mother’s Day. Not because I expected anyone to read my mind, but rather because I didn’t want to hear about how much of a bitch I am for not wanting to attend the family events that had been scheduled.
We drove an hour to be with my in laws…MIL and 3 SILs and their families. Then drove another hour +10 min beyond our house to see my mom and sister.
I started to get comfy at my sisters and began watching 27 Dresses. It was pure bliss until my kids turned into demons and I had to leave 1/2 way through. Needless to say, I was exhausted and angry by the time I got home.
I should write a How NOT to spend your Mother’s Day post…but that would probably hurt my SIL’s feelings.
*sigh*
MommyCosm’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: You’re Fired!!
Worker Mommy
May 12, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Awesome!
Believe me you aren’t the only one that wanted time alone.
Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Winners
Mom24
May 12, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Yeah! I’m glad that he finally “got it”. It sounds like you had a wonderful day. I promise you that as they get older, it gets easier, and that you will one day want to spend the entire day with them celebrating.
Mom24’s last blog post..Meal Plan Monday
Memarie Lane
May 12, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I’m starting to see a conspiracy here. Has it occurred to anyone that Mother’s Day was invented so that men would only have to act thusly one day a year? Say one day in Sept. you really need some time to yourself, and beg him to please take the kids somewhere. Won’t he say, “Didn’t I just do that like four months ago?”
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Does this top make me look pregnant?
Christina
May 12, 2008 at 11:31 pm
I spent part of my Mother’s Day apart from my kid, too! And yeah, part of me felt guiltly for that on MOTHER’s day of all days, but I needed that time with my own mom, too!
The fact that he folded laundry is what get to me. Wow. St. Tate indeed!
Christina’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day!
Tonya
May 12, 2008 at 11:34 pm
I bow down to thee St. Tate. Well done.
I’m so glad your asshole self took over the logical self’s thought process and enjoyed a few hours of much needed alone time.
Tonya’s last blog post..MOTHER’S DAY GIFT
Shamelessly Sassy
May 13, 2008 at 12:48 am
I love when I actually get to pee all alone. I totally know what you mean.
Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..Copy Cat
Kelley
May 13, 2008 at 4:03 am
green I tell you! GREEN with envy!!! And it totally doesn’t go with my shoes which I am hating…
Kelley’s last blog post..Unlike the Bloggess, I will give you ninja.
mep
May 13, 2008 at 6:53 am
I’m right with you on this post. Sometimes I’m scared by how badly I just want to be by myself.
For Mother’s Day, I spent 7 hours in the car with my husband and toddler to celebrate my hubby’s grandparents’ wedding anniversary. Since they’ve made it 70 years together, I opted to be a good sport about it all! Plus, mothers got to go through the buffet line first!
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Mommy Daisy
Twitter: mommydaisy
May 18, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Happy Belated Mother’s Day. It sounds like a lovely day. I do the same thing as you. I won’t tell him what I really want. And when he offers I act all like “No, no, it’s OK I’ll be fine without a nap for ANOTHER Sunday”…or similar things.
Glad you had a fun day.
Mommy Daisy’s last blog post..I guess “complainy” isn’t a real word