Despite watching years and years of daytime/self-help-style talk shows like Donahue, Oprah, and Dr. Phil, and learning that you cannot expect people to read your mind, this is exactly the trap I set for my ever-suffering husband yesterday. Despite my husband’s kind offers to take the kids out for the day to give me a break or to do anything I could reasonably imagine, all I could muster in response was a mournful and sigh-laden, “I don’t know.” **shrugs and pouts**
I swear I don’t know how he stays married to me. I am insufferable!
In some sort of defense of myself, I do have several reasons why I didn’t jump at Tate’s offer to make himself and the kids scarce. First, I’ll admit to being completely ashamed that I’d rather not be around my children on Mother’s Day. I feel like I must have some sort of mothering flaw to want to send my children away on the the ONE day that celebrates mothering them. Aside from my inherent flaws, I also know, well I at least hope, that solitude will not be my solo goal for future Mother’s Days. One day I won’t spend every waking second with them and I’ll WANT to spend a special day like Mother’s Day with my kids.
I was also afraid to take Tate’s offer of solitude because I was afraid that I’d answer too gleefully. “YES! Go AWAY. Go FAR, FAR away and don’t come back for hours. Leave me the hell alone! Amen! I don’t have to spend the day with you SUCKAS! I’m FREE! FREEEEEEEE!”
So instead I moped and sulked and heavy sighed. My logical self kept telling my asshole self to just come out and tell Tate that yes, I would really enjoy spending the day alone. My asshole self kept telling my logical self that Tate should JUST KNOW that I want to be alone, since I was obviously sending him all sorts of signs.
Thank goodness my logical side gave my asshole side a swift kick in, well, the ass.
I finally told Tate that it would be really nice if he and the kids left for awhile. Without complaining, Tate got the kids ready and they left for the afternoon. He even took them during their afternoon nap, which in and of itself makes Tate a SAINT.
Amen.
While they were gone I caught up on this season of the best of trash TV, The Hills, and watched a few episodes of WE’s High School Confidential (thanks for tip on this show Shelly!). I also peed blissfully alone which was truly thrilling.
When they returned, St. Tate informed me that he’d made the executive decision to make me a fabulous dinner. Without any help from me, he grilled ribeyes, roasted asparagus, and made a spinach salad with warm bacon dressing. For dessert he made ice cream floats. Then he cleaned up the kitchen and folded laundry all by himself while I enjoyed a glass of wine.
Apparently St. Tate actually can read my mind.
Woo Hoo!
Yippeee for you and Tate!
rachel’s last blog post..Mom, Mother, Mama, Madre, Mommy…
I’m so glad everything worked out in the end!
ha ha!
How nice!
I found myself talking to your story.
Jennifer! Do it! Go out!! Let them go! SOMETHING!
All Hail St Tate! I wasnt aware that I *had* a “logical self” … Ive only ever met my “Asshole Self”.. and what an ASS she is!!
Happy Mothers Day !!
Madness’s last blog post..PUPPIES!!
I’m such a baby on Mothers’ Day and my birthday. Which happens to be this week too, good luck Husband. I’m not sure why. But, it’s true you don’t want them to ask you just want them to do it. That dinner sounds great. What a keeper you have!
Cassey’s last blog post..We All Have Favorites.
now that we know that they are capable of being such a big help…why does it happen only once a year? Don’t they know we would be much happier if it happened oh, like twice a year?
ellinghouse’s last blog post..A mom.
Well played, Tate. Well played.
whoorl’s last blog post..Hair Thursday – Vol. 2.14
I’m a HUGE asshole on my birthday, too.
When will I learn??
Sometimes I really wonder if you and I are the same person. How do you channel my brain and write it all down first?
abunslife’s last blog post..My World
You peed all by yourself? With no one to hold your hand or show you the toilet paper or ask you what you were doing? How did you manage?
Burgh Baby’s last blog post..Random and Stuff
I was saying yesterday that “Mother’s Day” is actually, “Take the Kids Away From Me Day” and “Father’s Day” is, “Let’s Spend the Entire Day Together Day:”
Fairly Odd Mother’s last blog post..Like Sands Through the Hourglass
You are one lucky mama. I spent half the day in my PJs, which was, in a word, heaven.
But can I just say? That dinner? Girl, hold on to that man.
wow. Awesome!!!!
Devan’s last blog post..Unfortunately
holy crap – where can I order one? a saint, that is.
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..Mommyfest 2008 Blog Pahhhtayyyy
Tate should start his own husband school. I’d pay for mine to be the first student!
So glad you had a fabulous Mother’s DAy!
Alison’s last blog post..Guesting
LOL There is nothing wrong with wanting a DAY OFF from your kids that you take care of 24/7 once a year. That is all I have been asking for since I had my son…just the one day to go shopping or just sit at home and do nothing for the whole day.
BECAUSE…
When they become teenagers and start spending large amounts of time outside the house…THEN I will expect my kids to spend time with me on Mother’s Day. That is my plan and goal…take the day off until they are teens…THEN spend time with then when they no longer want to be up my butt all day every day.
It comes down to not wanting to deal with diapers and food and tantrums on the one day that is for Me (other than my birthday…but I like to spend time with them on that day)…when they get potty trained, feed themselves…no when they can get their own dang food…then I will want to spend time with them on Mother’s Day since it will be different than every other day…we can go out to eat and not have to deal with tantrums because a crayon fell in the floor, etc…
Anyway, my point…Mother’s Day is a good day to be selfish and take some time to yourself. Don’t feel guilty…a happy mommy is a good mommy.
Sandy’s last blog post..William Overture for Moms
go, tate!
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Fun Monday: What a jerk! edition
Oh – he did gooooooodddd!
Maybe a few hours here and there without the kids on a more regular basis would help?
Says she who needs to take a dose of her own advice!
My guilty self felt bad because my selfish mama asshole self REALLY enjoyed having the entire afternoon and evening to myself yesterday while my husband took the girls to see his mom at his brother’s.
We could have gotten together and watched E together!
Hooray for St. Tate!!! Reading your mind is an excellent skill to have acquired!!
But yeah…I am one of those mothers too. I gleefully left the house for a while. Although next time I think I will have hubby take the kids out of the house. I don’t think I’d mind that much, either…*G*
Sadie’s last blog post..Another Voice for Early Intervention
sounds kinda perfect actually.
i’m one of those who would like to spend at least part of mother’s day, well, not being a mother. i think i deserve it for spending the other 364 days a year as one
Sounds like a great day! WTG Tate!
Jen’s last blog post..Why I’m Cancelling the Paper.
You are so lucky!
I got nothing but an 8 hour drive back from the beach.
I wanted a trip to the spa.
He.Will.Pay.
amy’s last blog post..Can Mommy and Daddy Rest Now?
nice Jennifer, Nice!
I woke up to two sick kids and a “getting sick” husband but he still sent me out in the afternoon for a pedicure, movie (“Made of Honor” – not so good but I went in with no expectations of greatness so I enjoyed it just fine) and dinner with a friend. It was fabulous. I had a little trouble leaving as well but while I was out, thoroughly enjoyed myself!
Mama DB’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day!
Whoa. That was an incredible turnaround – definitely hold on to that man!
Dette’s last blog post..He Must Love Me
Can we trade?
Jill’s last blog post..Upgrades, Confirmations, and a Whole Lotta Stress
Ohmygod. Thank you. I thought I was the only one totally conflicted about how you’re supposed to feel and behave on Mother’s Day and other “special” days.
It’s so cool that Tate figure out the magic formula: relieve Mom of all of Mom’s usual duties. My husband kind of figured it out in the 11th hour too…he really straightened up a bunch of areas that have been annoyingly cluttered and got the house clean for me before he left this am for yet ANOTHER business trip.
Must Be Motherhood’s last blog post..It’s Official: I Hate Mother’s Day
There is nothing wrong with wanting the gift of peace and quiet for Mother’s Day. Truly. Lots of moms (Including myself) just need some time ALONE.
And?
I have a stack of dishes waiting for me to wash from Mother’s Day, and our dishwasher is broken.
I think that blows.
Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog: Looney Tunes Linkey Love
My husband made me breakfast, and let me sleep in for an hour. Then he had to go to work. When he came home, I had to embarq in a 6 hour car trip to return a child home…WHen I got home at 5am this morming, the same ginormous pile of laundry is still sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor. (on my side of the bed) Am I a huge, horrible jerk for being very disappointed about the laundry?
I’m a jerk
SO glad you had a great one, I hope you enjoyed it for all of us
mandy’s last blog post..My thankful heart…
Nah, you’re not a jerk! I think that was thoughtless on his part…maybe you’ll feel better if you tell him that you’re disappointed?
@Loralee That DOES blow.
@Jill Um. No. Ask me again in a day or two when he really pisses me off…
@ abunslife…Maybe it’s out Missouri roots!
I longed to love High School Confidential—but never got there.
*sigh*
I loved the promise of it.
MizFit’s last blog post..It’s day two, People.
Hey you get to feel that exact way on Mother’s Day, that’s what it was created for, right? Make you feel guilty while giving you an excuse?
My husband keeps offering to take the kids away for a WHOLE weekend, and I keep waggling back and forth about it…
Enjoy.
Good&Crazy’s last blog post..Not your Nightmare
My guess is that on Administrative Professionals Day, the administrative professionals don’t want to celebrate by spending all day typing and answering the phones.
Swistle’s last blog post..Oh. Is it Sunday?
ah, what a great day.
how was lil’ girl’s birthday??
i feel that same pull of wanting to be rid of the kids for awhile…and wanting them with me, because -gosh, darn it- they are WHY i AM a mommy.
on a side note – read The Female Brain, by (wow, i can’t remember…but if you read the book, you’ll understand why.)
great book for husbands to read too. just don’t let your husband stop reading at the “pre-kids horniness” chapter…he has to make it to the “i have kids – don’t touch me” chapter.
i think the male brain is coming out soon too.
jen’s last blog post..mommy (s).
Holy Cannoli. That Tate is THE MAN.
Super B’s Mom’s last blog post..Young Love
um, that last sentence sounded really funny.
let’s try it again…
i think the book, The Male Brain, should be released soon, as well.
a little better?
jen’s last blog post..mommy (s).
I’m the same way! My husband complains all the time that he isn’t a mind-reader! He’s learned to just make the executive decision and not ASK me if it’s what I want coz I’ll just “ho hum” all day long about it. It’s nice to have the “me-time” but I do find myself missing them when they are gone and wondering what FUN-tastic thing they might be out doing without me. (hehe) Glad you had a wonderful Mother’s Day!
SherE1′s last blog post..Wanted: Parent
Congrats on the alone time! Sounds like a wonderful way to spend Mother’s Day.
Megan’s last blog post..My bad habit
It sounds heavenly.
I’m suppose to have a re-do Mother’s Day this coming weekend. We shall see…
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Love Thy Wrinkles
Sounds like a lovely day to me!
I have been meaning to watch High School Confidential – they followed several high school students from here around for four years, and I am anxious to see how it turned out. Now I just have to remember to Tivo it!
Maggie’s last blog post..Best Shot Monday – Dew Drops
Wowzer he IS a saint.
And btw, don’t feel guilty for wanting solitude on Mother’s Day. It’s SUPPOSED to be your day to relax and that’s not really possible with kids around. I sent mine away, took a blissful nap and was all the more appreciative of him when he came home.
Indygirl’s last blog post..Weekly Winners 05/12/2008
@ jen This sounds like a great book! I guess it’s nice to know i’m not alone in my insufferable-ness!
And thanks for asking about Ella’s birthday, she had a wonderful day! I plan to post pictures of her eating cake soon. We’re having her birthday party this weekend.
@Maggie Tivo it SOON! I looked ahead to see when it would be on again and there weren’t many more air dates!
Why do you do this to yourself? Seriously, my friend, just decide to not feel guilty. It is so counter-productive. I happily ditched my kids for a few hours yesterday – and I don’t know many sane mothers who wouldn’t jump at the chance. You’re not an asshole, you’re normal.
I’m glad St. Tate made it a good day for you – you deserve some down time. Oh, and I loved Swistle’s comment – so, so true.
andi’s last blog post..Exactly what I wanted
Dang he has been reading his chick magazines. I am VERY proud of him!
And next time Say your mind!
Marti’s last blog post..Can I vent for a bit?
Seriously. That sounds like the most awesome Mother’s Day ever! That dinner sounds divine. Those are my FAVS!!!!!
I not only had my kids around all day – I love them but as a SAHM, I do like the occasional break. But I also had my entire family down for lunch – mom, dad, sister, BIL, 4 kids, my aunt and my sister’s MIL…..whew….
So I cleaned like a madwomen, cooked, entertained, etc etc etc. And when they were gone, I cleaned the kitchen, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, twice, and washed the kitchen floor.
And what did my hubby do? COMPLAIN when I asked him to go to a neighbors and cut me some lilacs for the table.
Can I have your hubby talk to mine? Mine has NO clue. NONE.
Irene’s last blog post..Monday Montage
Oh, that does sound like a lovely day. I tried to remind myself that mothering young children is labor-intesive and relentless, and a break sometimes makes us BETTER, so good for you for claiming it!
I can be a jerk about my birthday too. I’m always disappointed… it’s so silly.
Can’t wait to see Ella and her cake-smashing fest!
Marie Green’s last blog post..Your Stories
I. am. so. jealous.
Cathy’s last blog post..My Mother’s Day In Numbers