Letters
Dear Mother-in-Law and Father-in-Law,
Thank you for offering to watch my two darling children today and allowing me a little alone time with the laptop. Your thoughfulness will never be forgotten.
Love,
Jennifer
**
Dear Indiana BMV,
B? MV? That should have been my first clue that you’re a stupidhead. Shouldn’t you be the DMV?? Anyway, I’m not writing to bitch about your name, but rather the fact that you’re closed on Mondays. Screw you.
Your nemesis,
Jennifer “The Pulverizer” Playgroupie
**
Dear Comcast,
You still suck.
From,
You know who the hell this is because I keep calling you and you keep NOT calling me back.
**
Dear Manufacturers of Digital SLR Cameras,
Hi! I’m a blogger with respectable enough traffic. I’d like to review your camera(s) on my blog. All you have to do is send me one for review. I promise to only say nice things about your camera on my blog if you pretty please send me a camera. I’m willing to sell you my soul. Please send me a camera.
Thank you in advance!
Sincerely, REALLY, REALLY Sincerely,
Jennifer
PS. I’d also like a free trip somewhere. Anywhere. For free! Kthnxbai!
**
Dear Me,
Stop eating so much. Throw away the cake and the leftovers. Have you noticed your flabby arms? Of course you have.
Yours truly,
Me
**
Dear Carson,
I’m your mommy. I gave birth to you and suffered through your colic. I will continue to suffer through many stages of your life and yet I still love you. I will always love you. All I want is for you to kiss me goodnight. It hurts my feelings when you laugh in my face and scream “NO!!!” when I ask for a goodnight kiss.
If you don’t give me goodnight kisses, I’ll be forced to take away your John Deere tractors. I’m not kidding.
Big wet kisses,
Mommy
up
working
not yet even a FIVE on the clock (as in the time starts with a 4 :))
came here in the name of I WANNA LAUGH and did.
you never fail me
MizFit’s last blog post..Tues Tip
from one Jennifer to another. If they are sending a camera your way, it probably shoudln’t be too much trouble to pack up an extra one and send it to me, don’t you think?
Manager Mom’s last blog post..Of Breasts And Bacteria
Ha!
Oh the goodnight kisses. Quinn’s newest (not-so-new) thing is saying, “No kisses for you tonight. Maybe tomorrow.” In absolutely the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard. Except yeah, not so sweet.
Last night he replied to my “I love you,” with “I love you too. But I don’t love you when you work. I love Grandma Chris because I get lots of money.” Um. Yeah. Goodnight buddy.
Cathy’s last blog post..I Will
Jennifer, I love you. Seriously. LOL MWAH!
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..Childhood Memories
I totally think you should get free stuff. Free Stuff for all Mommybloggers!
You should definitely take the John Deere’s. You deserve Mommy kisses. Hold your ground girl!
Mom24’s last blog post..Boundaries…Is it It IS OK to draw a line?!
Youre hilarious! Oh.. the B MV.. Bureau .. not Department .. cause Indiana is Boojie like that. Oh, and Comcast will suck till Christ rises again..and after. I hope you dont mind.. but Madness will probably have to try to be just like you and do one of these letter format blog post thingies cause girl.. you just made Madness TINKLE!!!
Madness’s last blog post..Sexy Mo’Fo ..
Comcast? Can suck it.
Also. We appreciate that your in-laws allowed you to post these hilarious letters.
Oh, and the kissing - totally a phase. But a phase that hurts nonetheless. I know.
Just in case you end having to buy your SLR camera….we just got Cannon’s new XSI and LOVE it. The image stabilizer lens rocks. Just an fyi. I could go on and on, but that would be a review and then they wouldn’t send one to you.
abunslife’s last blog post..No itch here!
The no kissing thing hurts. Apparently I didn’t “earn” one last night either. Then this morning SB says to me “Mommy, you’re my one and only Mommy.”
Good point there buddy …. SO do I get a kiss now or not?
(got one!)
tulipmom’s last blog post..I Should Be Sleeping
It’s so nice of you to acknowledge your in-laws–and so nice of them to give you some time!
I totally don’t understand how the BMV can be closed on a Monday…that makes no sense.
Have a great day.
Mom24’s last blog post..Too good not to pass on.
Did writing the letters make you feel better? I may have to try this. . .
Fairly Odd Mother’s last blog post..Another Reason Our Bookstore Trip was a Bust
Why the heck didn’t I think of that? I totally should have begged for a Mr. Canon on my blog before giving in and selling a kidney to buy one. That was dumb.
Burgh Baby’s last blog post..Tested and Failed (Again and Again and Again)
Ha Ha Ha!! Jennifer, you’re too cute.
Love the letters. I hope they were sufficiently cathartic
Dear Rachel,
Get off the computer and finish cleaning the pantry,
Sincerely,
Your clean freak side
rachel’s last blog post..The day the vagina nearly wrecked the car
You are the funniest person ever. Seriously. HILARIOUS!
And what IS it with the D (B?!?!) MV being closed on Mondays. Ours is too…and I think that is beyond stupid. Who has a 4 day work week?!
Maggie’s last blog post..Best Shot Monday - Queen for a Day
Hey, get me a camera too if you can. It’s just one more, they won’t mind!
wright’s last blog post..Can’t Seem To Shake It
Love the letters, I’m going to try it myself!
CourtneyRyan’s last blog post..alas, its friday (again) !!
Ha Ha…there’s BM in BMV…more giggling…you can so totally tell that I am a mother of toddlers. When I am actually well rested, I resist bathroom humor.
What is the B? Bureau?
Does this letter to yourself work? I should try it.
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie’s last blog post..Spring Cleaning Discovery #3 - Summer Plans
If that camera thing works - let me know - I would review one for sure!
re: the letter to Carson. Don’t you hate having to force your kids to kiss you - I had to threaten to make one stay home from our upcoming fishing outing in order to get a kiss recently. Little punk!
Melody’s last blog post..Friday again - You know what that means.
I love how the CommentLuv picks up a post from almost two months ago - I seriously do not understand how that thing works!
LOL
Melody’s last blog post..I’m Mediocre - Are you?
hahahaha. Bmv..ahahahaha!
Bepartment of Motor Vehicles? Really? Wow…
Erika Jurney’s last blog post..Why I love Saturday night
HAHAHAHAHA! hey wait a shot at Alabama, no wait it is funny. Carry on!
justmylife’s last blog post..She loves me, She loves me NOT.
I love letters and notes to self!
BMV….LMBO!
Jen’s last blog post..A Weekend Away…
that was hilarious…
i need to write people letters more often on my blog.
it may just be cathartic enough to keep me from exploding at times. i don’t really have to sign my name…and no one reads my blog…it’s perfect!
jen’s last blog post..pairs well with chix noodle casserole.
I love the in-laws, hate Comcast, and currently have the same problem with cake leftovers but the last one is my favorite. The worst kind of rejection. Definitely go for the tractors.
Beth’s last blog post..the birthday weekend, part 1
I can relate to every single one of those!! Well, except for that tiny little part about having time alone with the laptop…I ain’t got one.
BUT, I have a DSLR…so I’ll take a free laptop to review, you can have the camera. Work for ya?
Sarah’s last blog post..Singing in the rain
i’m thinking i could write a really cool review of an iphone. think they’d send me one to try out?
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Random acts of blondness
BMV…interesting. How about DAMV (dumb a$$e$ of motor vehicles…)??
Teri’s last blog post..Happy Birthday, Vicky!
BMV…interesting. How about DAMV (dumb a$$e$ of motor vehicles…)??
Teri’s last blog post..Happy Birthday, Vicky!
I love the pandering to SLR camera companies. I WANT TO GET IN ON THAT!!! Oh and Digital video cameras too. And…
Good&Crazy’s last blog post..MEME: The Second
I’m so glad you got a little time away on your own. And yeah, of course I want in on any camera offers, too.
I need to write a few open letters to dumbass companies I’ve been dealing with lately. I think customer service is a myth now.
Christina’s last blog post..Complicated Workout Equipment Isn’t For Me
This cracked me up!
Great post. And I’d totally threaten to take away the John Deere Tractors too!
Mary’s last blog post..He’s speaking to me again…
First time reader of your blog and am in love with you already!! Your letters rock!
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
Hallie’s last blog post..Want to Know How to “IMPRESS” a Wiener?
Take away the John Deere tractors? That IS serious! Tractor Boy would like to know exactly what you will be doing with said tractors…just in case.
Angie’s last blog post..Mashed Potatoes
Dear Jennifer,
You stole my words to Comcast. And to “me.”
Sincerely,
Thanks for the laugh
Christina’s last blog post..Pickin’ Strawberries
I hate Comcrap too!
And buttercream icing, I mean c’mon it’s called BUTTercream, it’s just begging to become one with our butts!
Dawn’s last blog post..From the Archives - What Happened to Saturday
Those letters are so funny!
Hub thinks i’m joking when I say that I don’t want cake, I just want icing. BUt really, I just want the icing! Yum!
Dawn/cookie’s last blog post..THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
If you write a letter to any banks let me know. I’ll sign it.
Whit’s last blog post..Is Hilary the Cabbage or the Carpenter?
Dear Jennifer,
Thanks for the laugh. Oh, and if you could hook me up with a Nikon D80 through your mad blogging skills that would be totally cool too.
Dear Sleep,
I’m not sure what I did to chase you off, but never doubt my love for you. Please, please come back soon - you are missed.
Hugs and kisses,
me
andi’s last blog post..Dumbassery makes for excellent blog fodder
I think Carson is about the age that Jaxon started to LOVE playing the “don’t you …..” game. Try it out when you next are needing/wanting him to do something. “Don’t you give me a kiss. (in a teasing voice of course) I don’t want your kisses! No kisses for Mommy!” Jaxon still loves this game and he is 4 now. Just beware. He may want you to play it all the time for everything. I remember awhile there where I would have to “play” this game with EVERY piece of clothing in the morning while I was still half asleep. “Don’t put on your pants. Don’t put on your pants! Oh, no, you put your pants on! (mock sincerity followed by mock horror)” Then repeat with shirt, then socks, then shoes, etc., ad nauseum. But it is better than flat out refusal or a tantrum!
amy’s last blog post..Energy Savings
I thought OHIO was the only BMV state! Welcome to the midwest, I guess!
Toni’s last blog post..Same Mom, Different Day
Well good luck on the camera, sigh if only life was that simple
Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..The Good and Bad
We have the BMV in Ohio too, and I still call it the DMV because I am from MA. Either way you slice it, it is a crappy place to have to go, and I just noticed yesterday that my license expires this year. So guess where I have to go?
Oooh Jennifer how do you make me laugh. Your comment about Comcast has solidified our friendship for the eternities. You: hi. do i know you? Me: sigh. whatever. we’re still bff because of the comcast comment.
Jess’s last blog post..Planes rides and Jack Daniels–Part I
[...] 11, 2008 by Andi I love writing letters, so when I saw a post of Jennifer’s a few weeks ago where she wrote a bunch of short, random ones, I decided to steal her idea. [...]