This is my first time participating in Mrs. Flinger’s Brutally Honest Monday.
I’d like your (brutally honest) opinion about a recent incident.
The kids and I went to watch Tate play softball last week. Being a magnet to puddles, Carson immediately found the biggest, muddiest puddle and jumped right in. Within seconds of getting to the ball field, Carson was soaking wet and dirty.
There were lots of other kids around Carson, laughing at him getting all wet. The next thing I know, I look over and a girl who looked to be at least eight or nine, was throwing handfuls of mud on Carson (and cackling manically…or so I imagined. I mean, maybe she was.)
I was FURIOUS.
I marched over there and yelled at her to stop. I told her how ashamed she should be for picking on such a little boy and that she should know better. There was lots of huffing and puffing (on my part.) Also, my face was most likely all sorts of red.
I was SO PISSED.
I made the girl apologize to Carson. She did, half-heartedly. Then I grabbed Carson’s hand and we marched off, with me saying the MOST mature, parental thing ever…”Let’s go play over HERE away from those MEAN kids.”
When I made it back to the bleachers, a few of the people who had witnessed THE INCIDENT, looked a little horrified. I’m not sure if they were horrified by how I reacted or by the girl’s behavior. Of course I assumed it was all about me. Also, I’ve told a few people what happened and each person acted like I overreacted slightly.
Here’s what I’d like you to consider when forming your opinion…
1. She was DEFINITELY old enough to know better than throw mud on a little kid.
2. She was throwing the mud at his head.
3. (Don’t forget the maniacal cackling.)
But also consider this…
1. He was already filthy, dirty from jumping in the puddle.
2. I probably could have left out the huffing, puffing, and stomping away with the immature retort.
I am a little nervous since this is “BRUTALLY HONEST Monday.” Don’t think the BRUTAL part means to be, you know, too BRUTAL. I’m tender hearted. **bats eyelashes**
*****
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I definitely would have said something to the girl. Firmly. But probably with a bit less drama, since I hate attracting any attention to myself. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be fuming inside!
But who am I to say? I haven’t really ever had this happen to me before. It’s hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Carson is little and I’m sure if someone was doing something mean to my littlest one, I would react. Not sure how I would react. But I definitely would.
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I probably would’ve walked over, and asked her nicely to stop. If she didn’t, then I would’ve slammed her into the mud and shoved her face in it.
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Mmmmm…ya, I think you may have over-reacted..just a little and with the best intentions and probably in a very classy kinda way that made those around you say, “wow, she has it all together” .
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So as I was reading your post I was thinking to myself … wow, she really did over-react just a tad. BUT in saying that and thinking about my own kids I know I would’ve done the same thing.
There was a little girl at a playground not too long ago who wouldn’t let my 20 month old on the steps to a cute little cottage. This other girl was at least 5 or 6 and was waving a really long stick in my little girls face and demanding that she not go up there. I thought I’d wait for just a moment to see how it would pan out and whether the little girl would in fact let my baby go up to the cottage but when she almost hit my baby in the face with the stick I stepped in and told her exactly how wrong she was and she decided to ‘answer me back’ by proclaiming that the door to the cottage was locked and she was trying to protect it. I told her that as the mother of the baby I will decide where my daughter can go, not her, so step aside or else.
I’ve learned – the hard way – that it’s never viewed as acceptable to discipline other people’s children. This doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. In the heat of the moment you did not react any differently than anyone else would. As a parent, it is your duty to protect your children from harm. Actual or perceived.
Was there a better way to handle the situation? Probably, but you had only seconds to react. It’s unlikely that anyone could have swooped in, saved their child, firmly, but politely disciplined the thrower, and then organized a game of red rover that left all the kids BFF.
I would have jumped her.
Kidding.
But I would have fussed at her. He is a little kid. She is not. She KNOWS better!
I don’t think you overreacted at all! I think kids these days (what am I, 90?) could use more people holding them accountable. When I was little we behaved ourselves because we knew that if any neighbors or adults saw us misbehave they woud not only tell our parents but they would put us in our place too. It takes a village… and maybe it will make that nasty little fart think about doing something so stinking next time.
Perhaps people were acting like you were overreacting because it wasn’t THEIR child getting mud thrown in his face. I’m just saying.
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I would have used my stern voice to ask where her parents were. Then I would have walked with her to her parents, had her tell them what happened, then left the parents to deal with it. Though not exactly the same situation, I’ve done similar at our Children’s Museum when the bigger kids were out of hand. Be calm and firm and it’ll be fine.
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I would have done the same things you did, perhaps even more things. You are fine.
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I am astonished at the number of comments from people wondering why you let Carson play in the mud if you didn’t want him to get dirty. Okay, well, there are only a few. But this is really touchy for me because of past experiences!
I took your post to say that you didn’t mind that he was getting dirty, just that some older kid was throwing mud at him, and was likely being bullyish and could have hurt him. Did I read the post right?
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OK, looks like I am in the minority here, but you asked for brutally honest, so here goes.
You were wrong.
You let him play in a mud puddle, get all muddy and then some kid has the nerve to put more mud on him? It’s not like she was throwing rocks or glass at him or (it sounds like) had any evil intent. She probably though it was hilarious that he was allowed to get muddy and thought she would help the process along.
If you truly didn’t appreciate her putting even more mud on him than he already had, you should have told her calmly to stop putting mud on him and removed him from the mud puddle.
From a mom of grown kids, a grandmother to a toddler and a teacher at an elementary school.
Bring on the disagreements!
“You let him play in a mud puddle, get all muddy and then some kid has the nerve to put more mud on him? It’s not like she was throwing rocks or glass at him or (it sounds like) had any evil intent. She probably though it was hilarious that he was allowed to get muddy and thought she would help the process along.”
I completely disagree. Let me explain. First of all he wasn’t muddy, per se, just a wet. It’s not like he had mud hanging off of him. It’s not the fact that she was making him dirtier…so WHAT! It’s the fact that she old enough to know better than throw mud in the face of a little kid. I don’t really think she had an evil intent, but seriously, throwing handfuls of mud? At his head? You really think that’s okay??? It’s okay because she thought it was hilarious???
Nope. Not okay. If this girl would have been younger, I’d have kept my cool and nicely asked her to not do that. But she was DEFINITELY old enough to know better.
I do agree that I could have been calmer. But, I don’t regret “yelling”, or really scolding her AT ALL. She deserved it.
If the tables were turned, and it were a nine year old Carson throwing mud on a two year old, I’d hope someone would yell at/scold him.
From a mom of a two kids and a former SLP in the schools where I corrected children on a daily basis.
I was thinking just along the lines of Sandra. My first thought was what if she threw some mud in his eye! That could have been really bad, especially if there was a rock or something.
I think you did the right thing scolding her if no one else was around watching her..maybe not the ‘ get away from the mean girl’ statement, but I am sure you were upset. Who hasn’t said things they wish they took back later.
That being said, I have totally been the parent that scolds other kids in the playground if they are too rough around my Kid, especially when he was much smaller. He can hold his own pretty good now, but there was a kid riding his bike through the playground and almost hit MY Kid. Yes, I raised my voice and the mom was right next to me and did NOTHING!
beach mamas last blog post..Trying to Keep Cool
I do think you did the right thing. You may have over done it slightly, but yes… the right thing. I would have done the same.
Now think of this…
Not all 8 year olds actually KNOW better. My son does stupid stuff all the time. He even threw mud at his DAD the other day. Yes, my husband yelled at him and he got in trouble, but he told his dad he didn’t realize it was that bad. He thought my husband would laugh and that it was funny. My 6 year old daughter is way more mature than my son. My son is always learing the hard way about what is wrong and right. He may be ADHD. My daughter on the other hand just seems to know. So in this instance my son would have had no comprehension that throwing mud at your son could have actually hurt him. He probably wouldn’t have even realized he was throwing it at his head. If I pointed it out to him you would be able to see it the sudden comprehension in his eyes. If some adult would have yelled at him he would have also rolled his eyes. Just so you know.
NOW… I do realize there are evil not caring children out there. This very well could have been one.
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Bridge…that’s a good point. She may really NOT have known that what she was doing was wrong…all the more reason to take advantage of this teachable moment!!
Definately… I know if I was that girls mom I would have freaked out and yelled at my own child.
The most important thing is to get your son out of harms way.
Somedays I love being a mom… other days I just HATE it. /sigh
Bridges last blog post..i’d like to dedicate this to bridge and al OR will someone ring the gong already??!?!
I probably would have just pushed her down. I am just being honest. (or maybe thrown a big wallop of mud in her hair)
I can’t tolerate some kid being mean to ma babies. NO WAY.
mandys last blog post..I am in heaven…
I would have done much the same thing, I think. I had to once yell at a 5-ish year old boy who was trying to kick and push Cordy when she was a baby crawling in a play area. No parent in sight for him, of course. I’m wondering where this girl’s parents were?
Of course, a friend of mine was at a large dinner, and a child was running around being obnoxious and disturbing his table: taking things, throwing things, etc. No parent in sight. He finally grabbed the kid by the wrist, stood up, and loudly announced to the entire hall “Who does THIS belong to!?!?” The parents were embarrassed, but deserved it.
Christinas last blog post..She’s Got Good Taste In Music
It is absolutely NEVER OK to throw mud at someone. But, it’s also probably not OK to throw a tantrum. I say you call it even and move on!
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Brutally honest = ON.
I would have been pissed at the kid.
There’s a difference between playing in the mud and getting pelted by it and being made fun of.
When Mamas’ babies are getting “picked on” (regardless of how it started) it’s understandable to get all commando protective.
Maybe not “rational” to huff and puff and go red in the face… but, women are rarely rational. So, forgiven.
And your hair looks lovely today and your butt looks great in those jeans.
Brutally honest = OFF.
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And I meant to subscribe to comments but forgot so am posting again real quick… boosting stats, man, just boosting stats!
Danielles last blog post..Potty Mouth, Part II
I would be upset, but, to be honest, I would definitely draw the line at:
a. name calling (She was being mean at the time, she is not a mean person.)
b. making her apologize (Making a child say they are sorry when they may not actually BE sorry teaches them to lie or to say things that others want to hear instead of how they feel. That’s why you got a luke warm response. She was not sorry she threw mud; she was sorry she got caught and yelled at.)
And, lastly, I’m really glad my kid wasn’t the kid throwing mud at yours, but she could have been. She can be a real STINKER and escape artist, making me frequently that MIA parent you all abhor. Please, people, pity me. It’s not easy parenting some kids. If you’ve raised yourself a little daffodil, thank your lucky stars.
lauries last blog post..FFF – My problem spot (before)
I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing! I would have been absolutely beside myself! Either way, it’s a sucky situation, but don’t feel bad. We all have our moments, that’s why we’re human!
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All I can think about is the time Braden walked up behind a baby at Story Time at the library and slapped it in the back of the head. For no reason.
I was MORTIFIED.
But, you know, he was like 1 year old. And stuff. *prays he never does crap like this when he’s older*
Also? In your situation, I think the first thing out of my mouth would have been, “OH, HELL NO….” and I have no idea what would have happened after that, as I made a mad rush towards Mud Slinging Death Wish Child…
Sarcastic Moms last blog post..The BEWBS Just Keep Showing Up
I will bite. I would have done the same thing yelling and all. I am not one to let others get hurt byt someone who is older and should know better. I think you did the right thing.
kishas last blog post..It’s a green, green world
I have to say that I believe I would have acted exactly like you – BUT, there is always a ‘but’ – I would have realized after the event that I had over reacted. I generally jump in feet and all especially when my son is concerned but with time (now that he is 14) I see that they really don’t have to be moddy-coddled.
http://www.winingandironing.wordpress.com
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I was at the park with my kids a couple of weeks ago, when I saw a little boy (maybe 8 years old) dragging a pit bull looking puppy down a steep hill (it’s the big park by the hospital, Jennifer). As I watched, he turned around and kicked the puppy in the face!!
I started yelling before I even got near him. “HEY! I wouldn’t follow you, either, if you treated me that way! How dare you kick a puppy? That is NOT appropriate. I don’t EVER want to see you do that again, do you hear me?”
Then I watched him, and when I saw which adults were with him, I marched over to them and (in a much less confrontational tone) said, “Hey, I was just over there where you couldn’t see from here, and I saw your son kick the dog in the face. I said something to him, but I really wanted you to know. I worry that the dog could become mean if he’s treated like that, and the last thing you want in your house is a mean dog! If it had been my child, I would want to know.” They were very gracious about it, and they thanked me. They called him over to correct him as I walked away.
To compound the discomfort, the family of the dog kicker was a different race than I am (I’m white, they were black), and it entered my mind that culturally, it might be very offensive to them to have a white woman correct their child. It may have been very offensive to them that any stranger had corrected their child, regardless of race. But you know what, at the end of the day I still believe that I did the right thing. I did my best to approach the mother in a “hey, we’re all in this together” way.
I think you did the right thing.
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
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If it were one of my boys, the little girl would be in orbit now. Having fun throwing mud at asteroids.
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I think you were completely just in what you did. I would have done the same thing. And if you ever catch my nieces throwing anything at a younger kid, I hope to god you’d tell them not too.
Here’s the thing that bothers me, whether or not people think you were over reacting or not, Carson isn’t even three years old yet. He doesn’t have the words to tell a bigger kid to stop, or completely know that it’s not okay what the kid was doing to him and until he does, it’s our job as the adults to make sure that he stays safe. Plain and simple, you were protecting your son. And I’m sorry, but I disagree that an eight year old kid doesn’t know the different between what’s right and wrong. Every school talks about hitting and hurting others not being okay. She should have known better.
To the people who said that it was your fault for letting him play in the mud, well that’s just laughable. Playing in the mud is part of being two years old. But having it thrown at you by another kid, just isn’t.
Phoenixs last blog post..Phoenix has left the building
Personally I would have gone over there and told the child to stop and what she was doing was not nice at all. Then made sure my child was ok and then moved somewhere else to play. The child was old enough to know better.
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I avoid confrontation; even with nine year olds ? That being said I would have probably tried to do what you did. Her parents should have been tellig her what you had to tell her. If I saw my child throwing mud I would be horrified; and my kids are sill young enough that they may throw mud! The parents that gave you the crooked eye were just jealous they didn’t have your balls!
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I have a two year old AND an eight year old.
No, I would not let someone fling mud at my two year old. That said, mud never killed anyone. Still, I’d have stopped that child. Having three kids who go up to 10 years old, no, I wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow about it, but that just comes with time and ER visits, you know?
I do know that every stinking 8-10 year old I know (and I know a lot of them) gets lost in the moment really fast. My toddler can hang with the bigger kids (ie: mud throwing would have cracked her up!) and so my eight year old, in that situation, probably wouldn’t have realized that your little one couldn’t hang, you know? At that age, they really just do see kids as kids, and age is kind of irrelavant. If they can sit up, they can play, and the 8 year old set gets worked up FAST.
I don’t think you were necessarily wrong, but maybe next time, just remember that sometimes the older kid could just use a split second re-direction. When my 8 year old crosses the line, and I remind him that the little ones are delicate, he suddenly becomes their most fierce PROTECTOR. I bet you could have had some free body-guard service there!
Mr Ladys last blog post..The World’s Leading Authority in Shingles
When mama bear comes out to protect her cubs, anything legal should be excused.
Well, I haven’t ever deal with this exactly, but I feel like that’s fair. You’re instinct on a most primal level is to protect your kid. And when was instinct ever mature?
However, it’s good that you were able to turn around and see your overreaction also. (when not in the thick of things, in that way I am the same as you)
moosh in indy.s last blog post..Avoiding the flies on poo fallout.
I probably would have done the same thing. Perhaps without the huffing and puffing but, I most likely would have yelled.
My 7 year old and 5 year old both would NEVER do something like that. Partly because, I would have been watching them and partly because they have been taught better than that.
In the heat of the moment, especially when it comes to your kids, your emotions will get the best of you.
Rachels last blog post..Rebuttal
I have been the mom who scolded other kids. One time a total bully shoved Bulldog, knocked him down and caused him to split his lip and cut his eye. I walked out and let him have it. (calmly, but forcefully)
I thought back and wondered if I had made it worse for my son. I wondered if the kid would make fun of him for mommy stepping in.
Well, about an hour later, the kid came to my door and apologized to me, then my son. He genuinely felt bad.
If I had not scolded him, I don’t think that would have happened. I feel like I made him think about what he had done.
If it had been my child throwing mud at your son, and I saw you scolding him/her, I would have let you scold them, and then I would have let them have it for such inappropriate behavior. I wouldn’t have been mad at you at all. I don’t allow my kids to act like that.
I’ve noticed that when someone other than a parent or parental figure scolds a child, they are more likely to listen. If the girl honestly didn’t know she was doing something wrong , then she needed to be told. Hopefully she’ll think about it if she’s ever in that situation again.
I am a mama bear. And I will roar. I will take on another mama bear if I have to in order to protect my babies. I want my kids to know they have the right NOT to be treated like that.
Robins last blog post..Random
When you’re trained as a teacher, you react as a teacher. And then you remember you weren’t in the classroom.
I’ve even done this to adults in stores, and then remembered, A: I was talking to an adult, B: I was not in my classroom.
Mud at head= furrowed brow, the look, and the tone.
Well done Jennifer!
Smiling Moms last blog post..Sing a song, sing it loud
I don’t disagree with providing guidance to other people’s children, but I think I would have liked to talk to the girl differently (I say “would have liked” because I know if my emotions got the best of me, I might have huffed and puffed too!).
So, in an ideal world, I would have:
Gone over and gotten in between the kids or somehow made a protective stance around my child… As I approached, I would see how my little one was reacting to it.
I would have said, “Hey, woah! Please don’t throw mud on this little boy.”
If he clearly was wincing and not liking it, I might have added, “See his face. He really doesn’t like it.” All while scooping him up.
If he wasn’t clearly disliking it, I might have said, “I am his mom and I don’t want him to have mud on him.”
If she kept trying to throw it, I would have picked up my guy and walked away (since I wouldn’t want to restrain her, etc.).
You mentioned that you told her “you should be ashamed.” I try not to shame my kids or anyone else’s. I know it sounds naive, but I try to assume positive intent (not that the action is positive for everyone involved, but that the child is not necessarily acting in an evil way).
By your description, it is unclear to me if Carson was really hating it — you said in a comment that he was both wincing and laughing.
That still doesn’t make it okay, and as a mom I always want to advocate and protect my child, but I bring it up because the girl might have thought he was enjoying it, too.
In any case, I am sorry that it happened, and thank you for being honest in posting it and braving all the comments.
Thanks, too, for listening.
Stacy (mama-om)s last blog post..Attitude of Gratitude
I’d have done the same thing….on a good day. A bad day may have included mud in that girl’s eyes.
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Fighting Indifference
You go, mama! I think that your reaction was warranted, and completely okay, especially for an older child. If it had been a 1 year old, then obviously, your reaction would have been different, but an older kid throwing [anything] at a younger kid is SO not cool.
Just from a babysitter’s perspective-I think that if the kids I were sitting for got into that sort of situation (say a 5 year old threw sand at a 2 year old I was watching at the park), I would probably react in the same ‘Mama Bear’ sort of way as you did. I would (probably not-so-nicely) say to the older child, “Hey! That’s NOT okay. Please do not throw sand at Christian. It could hurt his eyes.” or something similar. Even though I doubt I’d have the guts (as a babysitter) to go find the kids’ mom and have a word with her, or to do anything more than make sure “Christian” was out of harm’s way, I’d probably deal with it somewhat like that.
I don’t think there was anything wrong with the way you handled it. And if I were the little girl’s mom, you can bet she’d be getting a firm talking to and punishment for that behavior.
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Hello
Yeah you probably over reacted, but I would have done the same thing….well I have done things very similar. Have a wonderful day!
LOL. GIven that he was already dirty I’d say you overreacted a little. However, given that she was old enough to know better I definitely think you were in the right to say something.
Devans last blog post..The Trip
Maybe a little over the top. I will correct someone else’s kid…mostly when their parents aren’t around to take notice. I usually gently scold them, just as I would my own child. I tell them that it’s not appropriate to behave that way and I don’t expet to see it happen again. This seems to be effective. If someone had to tell me son to stop doing something, I would appreciate it. If I was nearby I would scold him. But I would NOT appreciate another parent/adult YELLING at my child. I think that would offend me if I was close enough to see it.
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I’m in the minority. I think you were a little bit wrong to react the way you did. I understand why you would feel so strongly, but that doesn’t justify it and my impression is that you are seeking permission from others to soothe your conscience for the way you treated the little girl (your huffy comment that she was mean was the most egregious).
I recall when I was 9 or 10 playing at in indoor playground. A boy, perhaps 4 or 5, climbed up the stairs to a covered slippery slide and was near the top when I started going up the stairs. He slid down. I came down behind him, but never touched or spoke to him at any point. For whatever reason, he was bawling at the bottom of the slide. His mother ran over to me and yelled “Did you hit him!?! Surprised, I had no idea what to even say. Even though I responded “No!” my little 10 year old ego was bruised. I felt attacked and wasn’t sure what I had done wrong.
You don’t really know what the intent of anyone is (children included) until you ask them. Sure, you may not always get an honest answer, but you can discern a lot by their demeanor after they get the honest question. My opinion is you should have asked both children what was going on. If the little girl acted ashamed, embarrassed, or cavalier, THEN you can probably assume she intended harm.
Because of the way you reacted to what you thought you were seeing, you will never really know. Keep this in mind before you shoot first and ask questions later. (My opinion would be altered if you saw something potentially life-threatening. You don’t take those kind of chances. Nothing you’ve said so far would indicate to me that your son was suffering legitimate physical harm)
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I’m late to the party because I was out in the country having tobacco spittin’ contest and watching two cousins marry each other, but I’m chiming in anyway.
Knowing Jennifer personally and having been around her in many social mommy situations, she isn’t a reactionary person without reason.
Anytime you react from mother bear mode, it is not over-reacting. Good lord, we have those feelings and instincts for a reason. Physical harm isn’t the only reason we should defend our children. If it were, I wouldn’t have raised a ruckus at my oldest son’s school over him being made fun of for crying. After all, he wasn’t suffering “legitimate physical harm”.
If my almost 8 year was throwing mud in the face of a 2 year old, I’d raise my voice at him too.
I think it’s great that Carson knows he has a mommy who will defend him. Kids need that too.
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I once yelled at a 7 year old boy for hitting my 4 year old boy in the head with a wiffle ball bat. HARD. His parents and good friends of ours were right there and my instinct was to nip it in the bud and yell at the older kid immediately. I was embarrassed and learned that was probably not the best response. I don’t like to yell at my own kids (cuz I do it all the time and they are immune to it), so I don’t think it is appropriate to yell to get a response.
I think I would have sternly asked her WHY she was doing it. IF she thought it was okay and DOES she think there is something she should do about it. – making her think about it and slightly embarrassing her without bringing more attention to the situation.
Don’t know for sure how old Carson is (3? 4?), but with my kids now in school (6 and 5), we have a LOT more incidents like this. Sometimes it is my kid acting inappropriately and sometimes it is another’s. Since are past the mom-attended playdates now, I have to handle these situations without the other mom’s. I think a stern discussion is more effective.
KEEP BELIEVING
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The best intentions… certainly. The best method… probably not. Otherwise, would you be questioning your methods? I wholeheartedly agree that an 8-yr-old should know better. I mean, really know better. However, having had my 2-yr-old yelled at by another Mom, I have to say, it is not cool. I realize your circumstances were not the same, but if things are so out of hand that yelling seems appropriate, I would’ve appreciated being informed and allowed to handle it on my own. MIA Moms on the other hand… that’s another thing. Sorry, I’m no help
Good post though!
Jamies last blog post..Funny things I’ve Heard Lately
[...] in print so that in the future I can remember these precious moments. Especially when he’s eight and in trouble for throwing mud on some poor, defenseless two-year-old or when he’s grounded for pummelling his [...]
Okay. When I first read your post last week, I definitely agreed that you were within your rights to correct someone else’s child. I do think, however, that you could have reacted a bit more “maturely” (especially with that last comment!)
All that said….yesterday, I was on the receiving end of a VERY irate parent’s yelling. Apparently, I was not reprimanding my 4-year-old son to her satisfaction at swim lessons, so she decided to do it for me. Angrily and nastily to my little boy. When I asked what the problem was, she and her husband began yelling at me about my poor parenting. 30 minutes of drama ensued.
Deep breath.
So, now that I’ve been on the other end of someone else’s immature response to a problem like this, I would just ask that in the future, we all consider the big picture. Wouldn’t it be better if we adults handled our problems among adults, instead of taking it out on other people’s children?
While I still believe that we can (and yes, should) correct other people’s children, can we do it without being childish ourselves?
If she had mentioned this to me two days ago – that my kid can’t keep his hands to himself and is splashing in the pool (imagine that?) – I would have talked to him about it, asked him not to, and would have tried to be more sensistive to her concerns.
Instead what I got was lots of yelling, in front of God, parents, kids, and everybody. That just made it so much better for everyone.
The Lovely One, You know, I ABSOLUTELY agree that some of the things I said to the girl were not the best things to say. If I had it to do over again, I’d have left out a lot of what I said, but still been VERY STERN with her.
I think, though, that your pool situation and this situation are VERY different and it sounds like this mom that yelled at you and your son was even more immature than I was. I guess I just don’t want to be lumped in the same category as that person.
If this girl would have been four years old, I wouldn’t have been as angry, nor would I have ever said what I ended up saying. If this girl’s mother would have been right there, I probably would have been more composed, tho still asking her to not throw mud IN MY 2 YEAR OLD’s FACE.
I really do understand how your situation would have been terrible for you and your child. I just don’t think these two situations can be compared.