I think that many of you are viewing this situation through your own experiences…well, of course you are, as that’s just how we relate. I feel that many of you are viewing me unfairly because of your own experiences, though..

I don’t think that the BULK of what I did was wrong, tho if I had it to do again I’d have been more mature. I wouldn’t have huffed off, calling the kids mean, nor would I have said anything about being ashamed.

But you better believe that I do not regret defending my 2 year old son. He needs to know that I have his back and that we’re taking shit off some smart ass 8 year old.

So, yeah. Comments closed.

I think, though, that your pool situation and this situation are VERY different and it sounds like this mom that yelled at you and your son was even more immature than I was. I guess I just don’t want to be lumped in the same category as that person.

If this girl would have been four years old, I wouldn’t have been as angry, nor would I have ever said what I ended up saying. If this girl’s mother would have been right there, I probably would have been more composed, tho still asking her to not throw mud IN MY 2 YEAR OLD’s FACE.

I really do understand how your situation would have been terrible for you and your child. I just don’t think these two situations can be compared.

All that said….yesterday, I was on the receiving end of a VERY irate parent’s yelling. Apparently, I was not reprimanding my 4-year-old son to her satisfaction at swim lessons, so she decided to do it for me. Angrily and nastily to my little boy. When I asked what the problem was, she and her husband began yelling at me about my poor parenting. 30 minutes of drama ensued.

Deep breath.

So, now that I’ve been on the other end of someone else’s immature response to a problem like this, I would just ask that in the future, we all consider the big picture. Wouldn’t it be better if we adults handled our problems among adults, instead of taking it out on other people’s children?

While I still believe that we can (and yes, should) correct other people’s children, can we do it without being childish ourselves?

If she had mentioned this to me two days ago – that my kid can’t keep his hands to himself and is splashing in the pool (imagine that?) – I would have talked to him about it, asked him not to, and would have tried to be more sensistive to her concerns.

Instead what I got was lots of yelling, in front of God, parents, kids, and everybody. That just made it so much better for everyone.

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I think I would have sternly asked her WHY she was doing it. IF she thought it was okay and DOES she think there is something she should do about it. – making her think about it and slightly embarrassing her without bringing more attention to the situation.

Don’t know for sure how old Carson is (3? 4?), but with my kids now in school (6 and 5), we have a LOT more incidents like this. Sometimes it is my kid acting inappropriately and sometimes it is another’s. Since are past the mom-attended playdates now, I have to handle these situations without the other mom’s. I think a stern discussion is more effective.

KEEP BELIEVING

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Knowing Jennifer personally and having been around her in many social mommy situations, she isn’t a reactionary person without reason.

Anytime you react from mother bear mode, it is not over-reacting. Good lord, we have those feelings and instincts for a reason. Physical harm isn’t the only reason we should defend our children. If it were, I wouldn’t have raised a ruckus at my oldest son’s school over him being made fun of for crying. After all, he wasn’t suffering “legitimate physical harm”.

If my almost 8 year was throwing mud in the face of a 2 year old, I’d raise my voice at him too.

I think it’s great that Carson knows he has a mommy who will defend him. Kids need that too.

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I recall when I was 9 or 10 playing at in indoor playground. A boy, perhaps 4 or 5, climbed up the stairs to a covered slippery slide and was near the top when I started going up the stairs. He slid down. I came down behind him, but never touched or spoke to him at any point. For whatever reason, he was bawling at the bottom of the slide. His mother ran over to me and yelled “Did you hit him!?! Surprised, I had no idea what to even say. Even though I responded “No!” my little 10 year old ego was bruised. I felt attacked and wasn’t sure what I had done wrong.

You don’t really know what the intent of anyone is (children included) until you ask them. Sure, you may not always get an honest answer, but you can discern a lot by their demeanor after they get the honest question. My opinion is you should have asked both children what was going on. If the little girl acted ashamed, embarrassed, or cavalier, THEN you can probably assume she intended harm.

Because of the way you reacted to what you thought you were seeing, you will never really know. Keep this in mind before you shoot first and ask questions later. (My opinion would be altered if you saw something potentially life-threatening. You don’t take those kind of chances. Nothing you’ve said so far would indicate to me that your son was suffering legitimate physical harm)

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