My style of decorating tends to lean towards “Pottery Barn” or “Target,” and less “floral” or “old lady” or “kuntry.”
I also don’t care for “clashing” or “1987.”
Anyway, I think the photos of the decor in our temporary house can speak for themselves. If it gets to be too much for your eyes to handle, place a cold compress over the affected area and accept my deepest apologies. In the event that you like what you see, I’ll get you in touch with the decorator, Ethel. You have to call her before she goes out for dinner at 3 PM. She’s very easy to reach around 4 AM before her water aerobics class.

Note how I have the curtains held back with the blinds. This is a new trend in home decorating that I’m revealing here for the first time!

Um? Ew. Nice touch, though, that they added the “We Appreciate You!” That makes the fact that they mentioned condoms *shudder* so much better.

Those flowers? Yeah, they’re PLASTIC. And yes those PLASTIC flowers are planted in the ground.
I know, WOW, right??!!??















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