My specialty as of late is procrastinating. At some point in my life, I was a self-starter, someone who accomplished things I set out to do, but now I just put things off until the elusive and completely unreachable “later.” I’m not sure what happened to me, but I’m guessing it was CHILDREN.
These aren’t fully conscious decisions, to procrastinate. As I’m finishing the whole plate of nachos or the next handful of cookies, I think to myself, “well I better treat myself now, because after the holidays I’m going to start eating healthier.” But since I tell myself this lie every time I eat, it’s become more of a habit rather than a conscious and true goal. It’s not just with food, though, that I do this. It’s with my relationships and my personal goals, too.
I’ve been living behind the weighted veil of having just moved, telling myself that I can’t possibly start making friends or finding a preschool for Carson , or do ANYTHING until we live in our house, until after the holidays, until I have a new cell phone, until the decorations are put away. There’s always an excuse.
My “later” is January 5th, today. It’s by my life’s circumstances that it just so happens to be the beginning of the year that I’ve set this date, rather than the whole New Year’s resolutions thing. I certainly could have chosen any random date, maybe February 8th or April 22nd, but January 5th seemed right.
Of course, January 5th has been peeking around the corner and knowingly pointing at me for months. There has been no reason good enough that I couldn’t have started tackling my to-do list, my personal self-improvements, but it’s almost as if I’ve been wearing concrete boots with my inability to get started.
January 5th is supposed to be my jumping off point. It’s supposed to be, but now that it’s here, I don’t know if I have the energy to start fresh again. I’m tired. I’m scared of what actually DOING something could mean for me. What if I actually have to get off my butt and what if I actually accomplish something?
Today is the day I’ve set to become the new me, the one who is organized, the woman who is seen walking everyday through the neighborhood, the mother who rarely yells at her children. Today I become a more supportive wife, more patient and loving with Tate. Today is the day that I become the writer I want to be, embracing my own voice, and being proud of what I write.
I’ve told myself that January 5th is the day that I’ll pick up the phone, like I’ve had to do too many times before and take that first step in making friends for myself and my kids. My fear of calling people I don’t know will be put on the backburner while I become articulate and funny, even likable.
Today.
Um… January 5th is my day too! My reason is the kids go back to school. I did start dieting and exercising on the 1st, but the goal stuff is for the 5th.
Good luck to you as well. I know I will need it.
Bridge´s lastest post..new year, new hair
I think Jan 5th is a big day for a lot of us. I feel the same way. For me, it isn’t a move like yours that has paralyzed me. For me, it’s been a long rehab from a car accident. Now I feel like I need to go FORWARD w/my life. NOW. But those damn concrete boots you mentioned keep getting in my way.
Today is a new day. Amen.
My date is also today. Like Bridge, the kids go back to school. We’re starting off the day wonderfully, ladies. By sitting here on our butts… I guess the day doesn’t really start until after we’ve gone to bed though… at least that’s what I’m sitting here telling myself.
Good Luck Everyone!!
Text Imps´s lastest post..Post of the Week – That Day from Okay Fine Dammit
I’m right behind you.
Go rock your world!
Auburn Gal Always (Keri)´s lastest post.."again"
Sounds like a good day to me. Jan 5th is the day I get back in the swing of things too!
Rachel´s lastest post..Top 10 things I just can’t stand
First of; that’s a beautiful and very personal post. Thanks for sharing that! Today sounds like a perfect day to start! Enjoy it & happy New Year!
Nadine´s lastest post..The moos and woos of my rack
So we can keep each other all accountable, right?
For me – going to the gym and staying healthy needs to be a priority. For my sanity and my family I need to be healthy. Which also includes eating better and going to bed earlier. So… good night!
Krista´s lastest post..Feed has moved
Good luck with everything! I am feeling a pulling at my heart that my kids don’t mention any friends that they’ve made at school in the 2.5 months we’ve lived here. The DAY our stuff was packed up at our house in VA a friend of my oldest’s invited him & his brother to play — they lived on the street behind us. Figures…I am determined to have my kids enjoy themselves and be with their friends. My aunt asked over the holidays if my nearly 3yr old has any little friends…if my 7y and 5y olds don’t then nope, he doesn’t either. Time to start putting myself out there.
Kelly´s lastest post..Happy 2009!
Yikes – that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself over the course of one short day. Go easy on yourself, okay? You’ll get there. But don’t expect to get it all done in 24 hours. Remember – baby steps.
Donna´s lastest post..Beach Bums
I know it’s hard, but you are incredibly likeable, so don’t worry about that. It’ll be better once you find a Bunco group or book club. DOn’t forget to look at Meet Up.com to see what kind of local groups are already established that you could show up to.
Rayne of Terror´s lastest post..Bob the brewer
Good luck to you! I’ve also set today as my day to start improving many aspects of my life. I think it has something to do with it being Monday.
Now – GO!
Cathy´s lastest post..Weekly Winners – 1/4/09
Here’s to the 5th and to the new year and new you!
wright´s lastest post..Ugh – I Get an F
I get all tight in the chest for you just thinking about it!
I think I suffer from alot of the same issues you do, except mine is not a result of change, it’s a result of being comfortable (lazy) with my current day after day (every day is the same) re-run of a life I live….
DesignHER Momma´s lastest post..oh! 9
I wish you the best you in 2009!
AndreAnna´s lastest post..Oh Monday, wherefore art thou Monday?
you can do it!!
One thing at a time.
I tell myself: You may delay but time will not.
Also, January 5th is a perfect day to start because it’s the first Monday of the new year.
Back to business for many people.
Devan´s lastest post..The Resolutions
Miss thing. you are trying too hard. I say, small goals. Jan 5th: Call Heidi. That’s a good goal. Maybe shower, then you can be an over achiever.
Heidi´s lastest post..Crossing the Red River into The Lone Star State
I am the same way about putting things off. Good luck to you. I hope TODAY is a good day!
Mommy Daisy´s lastest post..So much to do
We all live on roller coasters. Up and down. Being thrown in our seats from side to side. Never being able to catch a breath or slow down or achieve any balance. If we get off the roller coaster, it’s like being in an amusement park we’ve never been to before. We don’t know where anything is, we stumble around blindly until we run into something that might be interesting but when it’s over we’re just as lost as we were before. So we get back on the roller coaster. And sometimes we have fun – and when we have fun the roller coaster isn’t as much of a detriment to seeing where we are, or catching our breath, or achieving some balance. Make the roller coaster fun, Jennifer. Don’t let it throw you.
lceel´s lastest post..100 Word Challenge – doorway
january 5th is the perfect day.
good luck with everything.
you will be (and do) terrific.
jen´s lastest post..i know i shouldn’t have laughed. (alternately titled: how many times can i say ‘puking’ in one post?)
An excellent day. Today is my son’s first birthday and I also told myself that today was my day. 2009 is going to be about me taking control of my life again–no more colicky newborn, we’ve learned how to handle teething and such, now it’s time for some balance. Good luck!! I know you can do it.
Jen L.´s lastest post..Happy, happy birthday, Deano
Oh, good luck! I’ve got my fingers crossed for you. (I can take the time to do that because my starting date for all that same stuff is “later”.)
Jen´s lastest post..Will poop for painkillers
You can do it!!
Remember, every great thing can be traced back to one simple decision – starting.
And even when you make a mistake? Every day is just another chance to make a better choice. Believe me, I know — I make A LOT of mistakes.
But this is your year…I can feel it!
Maggie´s lastest post..Summary Friday: Project 365, Week 49
for most of us, january 5 really IS the start of the new year.
go for it, jennifer.
the planet of janet´s lastest post..Technology bytes
Those are some big goals. I am rooting for you.
Today – you can do it.
Teri´s lastest post..History
That’s a lot of admirable goals! It’s also a lot to tackle all at once. I find I stick to things better if I do them one at a time, bit by bit. Good luck with it all!
Lora´s lastest post..I Can Do Almost Anything While Holding My Baby
Amen to that! I need to pick up my concrete boots by the bootstrap too and stop making excuses and stop writhing in self pity. Today’s a good day but the kids don’t go back to school until tomorrow.
We’re all behind you and when you succeed we all will feel we have succeeded.
Everyday is my ‘today’. I start over everyday. Everyday I wake with thoughts and self promises to yell less and laugh more. To show kindness to strangers and love to horrible family members. I keep trying to be the person I want to be. I wonder if I will ever make it. And if not…well that is okay to. Because it is the trying that matters most. So keep at it. All of it. But remember, everyday can be a new year. new you.
Jan 5 is a good day to start clean- it’s a Monday, after all
Just take it one step at a time & don’t get frustrated at any lapses or screw ups. And don’t be too hard on yourself!
Jen´s lastest post..hello, 2009.
I have similar goals. Yell less, organize more, make friends… ahhhhhhh Why couldn’t you move here?
Can I just copy this to my blog? I so agree with everything you said. (I won’t of course, but if I did I would give you complete credit!)
Headless Mom´s lastest post..Out With The Old..
i so feel your pain, sister! procrastination is my biggest enemy. love your blog by the way, been stalking it for a couple of months now & never commeted, so hello and good luck with the new start! : )
LOL…. I just twittered the same thing. Today is the REAL day that I start everything I wanted to for the new year.
Good luck to you.
OHmommy´s lastest post..I love my mediocre kiddos!
We’ve all been there, and most of us are currently there with you. Today has a feeling of new beginnings for some reason. The end of all the holiday craziness, and the start of a fresh new year that has endless possibilities. Good luck! Go you
Corinne´s lastest post..The real reason
Today’s my day to get started too. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there in a new place, especially in the dead of winter when hardly anyone is outside (of course, I’m sure it’s a little different in Nashville than it is in Chicago).
However, I have to say that your writing on your blog comes off as very open, truthfull and personable. Unless you’re REALLY faking it here, I’d have to say you’re VERY likable.
Good luck, I hope when you go to bed tonight you’re proud of the efforts you put in today and excited about tomorrow.
Jen´s lastest post..No more consignment toys?
You can do it…today was etched in my mind because it’s the last day of school break.
p.s. I think you have survived a heck of a lot of change this past year woman! You are strong! GO GO GO!
Jamie´s lastest post..Year In Review, Now With More Poo
Good luck with all that! I think you’re still the finisher that you used to be, you just don’t realize it!
If we were neighbors I’d sit in my house next to you and not call and not walk around the neighborhood with you . . .cuz that’s what friends are for:)
BlueBella´s lastest post..They Just Might Explode
Every day I say I’m going to stop eating like a f’ing a-hole. But then most days I still do. I think my motivation fell out with the placenta all those years ago.
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s lastest post..The position of Heather’s Back End Master is now closed
Good for you! I hope you manage it. By the time summer rolls in it’ll be much easier as you can at least take the kidlets to the park and such, maybe bump into some mums you’ll start to get on with there huh?
Marylin´s lastest post..Weekly Winners #1 (for 2009)
How did “today” go? Day one of the brand new you. And, like you, I’m terribly insecure in trying to make new friendships and in cold-calling.
I hope this day went brilliantly well.
patois´s lastest post..Boo!
I had big plans for January 5th. I was going to start a diet, start organizing my house, attempt to be a better person? But instead, I took a nap, and I’m not gonna lie: It was one hell of a nap.
Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s lastest post..The Entrepreneur
Best of luck! I know you can do it!
Michelle´s lastest post..I Love OxiClean
I am so right there with you, so lots of ((hugs)) sent your way. I actually started mine on the first, and I have made all the way to the 5th. No more putting off calling places over things I don’t want to deal with (actually called 2 insurance companies today and got everything fixed). Putting things up and organizing them instead of throwing it and seeing where it lands. So if I can do this, you can too. I have faith in you, I know how bad I got once the kids came. I have no idea where the motivation went. I think it came out with them as well as half my brain.
Lauren´s lastest post..Sale Bows
You can do it. One step at a time. All of the todays go by so fast and then you look back and it’s all yesterdays and things you didn’t do.
Just do one thing and get it done. Make stories for yourself and cross things off of lists.
You can do it.
(I need to believe these things too…)
We can do it…
Danielle´s lastest post..And… She’s One
hope your day was a start in the right direction.
very poignant thoughts. brave of you to share…
i don’t even have my thoughts together. so you’re a step ahead of most!
you’ll get there. hope you keep the focus to make you happy.
best of luck!
mpotter´s lastest post..nothing to see here
Jenn,
I totally know where you’re coming from. Not long ago, I was in a super-slump and was miserable and sure that I’d never have any real friends (well, ones I didn’t find on the internet, anyway). But I took a chance and now am lucky to have a couple of close friends. I don’t know what I did without them.
You can do it! And you are articulate and likable – just give yourself a chance.
andi´s lastest post..The bestest Christmas ever!