People have moved into my house in Indiana.
I don’t know if they bought my house or if they are renters, really, it shouldn’t matter. I mean if they bought my house, hopefully they’ll care for it and love it as much as I did. But if they’re renters they might not love it as much if they don’t own it.
I feel like I need to whisper this next part. It’s embarrassing to admit. And sad.
As long as my house was still for sale, still uninhabited, I had this hope that maybe, maybe circumstances would work such that we’d get to move back to Indiana and slip right back into our old life, have our old friends, and just forget this whole move to Tennessee.
Those people, living in my house, I don’t even know them, but oh how I resent them. I feel so angry at them, for taking MY house, for taking my friends, for getting to live the life I want to live. They will be able to walk across the street for a cup of sugar only to end up staying for dinner. I probably won’t get to even see my neighbors again, likely ever, but they will. They will get to vacuum my frise carpet and bake in my double ovens and wash their vegetables in the vegetable sink in the island.
I don’t want to know if they have children. I don’t want to think of THEIR children sleeping my in MY children’s bedrooms, I don’t want to think of them taking my children’s place at the neighborhood get togethers.
This is so ridiculous, I know, but what I don’t know is how to get past all this anger about the move. It’s been months and it still feels as unfair as it did in September. Why did this have to happen? WHY?? I don’t want to be angry at those people who are living in my house, because I KNOW that it’s not MY house and hasn’t been since we sold it to the relocation company in November.
I guess it’s just that those people took the maybe away.
aww Jennifer. {hugs}
I understand that feeling completely. It sucks.
You’ll find a new happiness and a new sense of belonging, wish I were there to help
I’m normal!
Yippee. Hooray. I am jumping around my kitchen island.
(Whispering) I think like that allllll the time about our old place in Chicago. My town. My life. My neighbors. I want nothing more to return and pick up where we left.
thankyouverymuch Jennifer. And sending you a million online hugs.
OHmommy´s lastest post..I’m wearing stilettos to BlogHer 2009
I’m with you. I have an irrational bitter feeling toward the people who bought our house in Pittsburgh. That was supposed to be where our children grew up and where we grew old. I had plans for that house…long term plans. And I know they aren’t taking care of all of the plants I lovingly picked out and they painted over the perfect paint colors I agonized over and they are spilling things on my new carpet. Sigh…
And I can’t love any of the houses here in TN. Leaving my home in Pittsburgh broke my heart and I can’t invest again. We are renting a house now because we aren’t able to commit. LOL I think I need therapy.
Hope we both let it go soon and learn to love TN.
Michelle Smiles´s lastest post..My husband is a saint
Jennifer, I feel for you! My hubby and I did a voluntary move and it was so hard to give up our/my house! I still have dreams about it and that was 11 years ago. It’s not silly to feel this way, that was your home and your life. Change is hard. I think I read that stress of moving is right up there with the death of a parent. So give yourself some time to grieve the loss of your home, it’s not silly!
Natalia Burleson´s lastest post..It was a fun day!
I would feel the exact same way~ houses are homes with families and memories created there~! The less info about the new family, the better!
amy´s lastest post..Three Deaths in Two Weeks
I’m so sorry. That does suck. And after my day today I have a little tear for that life that you want back.
Srsly. Crappy day.
Headless Mom´s lastest post..Quickie
Oh, that’s a real tough one. I don’t know what I would do in your situation, though I can definitely imagine feeling the same way.
Sending a little hope that you’ll get some closure soon!
iMommy´s lastest post..Confession
I felt that way about our house in FL when we moved last. When we visited friends last year on spring break I drove past the house just to see how it looked. Thankfully it looked pretty much the same-except the ugly new mailbox.
I think it is totally normal to feel this way. If you need an ear you can always call or text me. HUGS!
Domestic Extraordinaire´s lastest post..Haiku Friday: My child is too old edition
I am with you 100%. Having to leave something behind when you don’t want to SUCKS. But when you feel like you are “replaced”? That makes it suck 100 times more.
And I think it takes forever for those feelings to go away (at least it does for me — maybe I am a grudge holder and don’t know it?)
I hope that it gets easier for you soon – that you can find your niche in TN and find something that will make the things you had to leave behind hurt a little less.
Hang in there…
Upon my insistence, we drove past our old house while we were in Texas. It sold while we were in London and my dad handled the sale, so I never got to meet the new owners, but when I saw what they did to my front yard. (MY front yard!) I was pissed… so not silly at all.
P.S. I miss my old life too.
We had to move away from our home about a year and a half ago. We still own it, but it’s slipping into foreclosure now. We’ve had tenants.
My husband painted a mural when I was pregnant with my first. It’s still there, and that makes me very, very sad.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. That’s rough. Hopefully it gets better with time, as you put down some roots in your new home?
Shannon´s lastest post..One Thing I Really Like and One Thing I’m Going to Hate
We bought an older house and completely renovated it while we had our current house for sale. We finished the house and our house still hadn’t sold so finally we had to put both houses up for sale and of course my beautifully renovated house sold first. I never even lived in it and I’m so angry with those people who get to enjoy my lovely wall oven and probably have no idea (or even care)how many hours I sweated in there ripping out floors, scraping popcorn ceilings, etc…… I hate that I’m still angry but kind of glad that at least it’s not just me.
My best friend moved to New Zealand a year ago. She just moved back. She’s moved into the neighborhood I moved out of EIGHT years ago. It was such a great neighborhood. It still is. I hate the people who live in MY house. And I’m even jealous that my friend gets to live in the area. How effed-up is that?
patois´s lastest post..The Weekly Wonderings #98
I absolutely do not miss our NYC apartment, but I miss my LIFE there sometimes so much that it hurts. Physically. We have a young friend who’s just starting out in her career and moving to New York in a month and every time I talk to her, I have to choke back tears, remembering all the things I loved and left.
I wouldn’t trade our new life in, because it’s working out well, it’s just taking a long time to adjust. And once I allowed myself to take that time to “mourn” my old life, I started feeling a tiiiiny bit better every day. I hope it gets better for you soon.
Jen L.´s lastest post..Comfort Food Saturday: Banana Bread
I’m sorry, hon. I wish I could have picked up our old house and moved it here (sans the Japanese ladybug infestation). I can only imagine it is a thousand times harder as you didn’t WANT to move…
tracey´s lastest post..Beyond seeing red…
Hugs…Big BIG HUGS! Life is hard….Big hugs from me to you.
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Just found you through Pass the Salt.
We moved to England for a year, rented out our house, and were not sure we would return. Our renter became good friends with one of my neighbours and it just felt WEIRD!
We actually did come back after the year, and it was great to be home. Not sure how I would have felt if we had stayed on and had to sell our home in N Ireland. I can only begin to imagine your emotions – so hugs from across the Atlantic
JanMary, N Ireland´s lastest post..ST PATRICK’S DAY BLOGGING CARNIVAL!
This is precisely why I am terrified of how much I love our current house/neighborhood.
Shelly´s lastest post..Freaky Friday
Jennifer, I know how hard it is to move away from a place that you love. Let me share with you what Jim’s mom told me when she had to move off the farm and the home that she and her husband had built (her dream home on the site of 4 generations) She said that as hard as it was to leave that life behind, her memories always went with her, and she had FAITH that only good things were ahead and it was part of Gods plan. She was a strong woman, and I hope we can all learn from her wisdom. I hope you learn tp love TN…it is such a beautiful place. Have faith! love you
We had to move from our home in Maine 4 years ago when my husband lost his job. I am still mourning it. I was the last one out ( my husband went ahead with kids while I met the movers) and I was literally sobbing and hollering in my girl’s empty room. I remember saying “goodbye baby Jesse” over and over. I get upset thinking about it even now, even though we landed in a good place. In short, I understand and I don’t know when it ends.
juliet´s lastest post..Ordinary Hero
Your feelings are totally understandable. I feel that way about my childhood home. My parents sold it when I was in college and I still tear up when I drive by. I hate picturing other people making memories there— it’s MINE.
And, there is *always* a maybe. You never know…
OMG! I totally understand! We moved from Denver with only six weeks notice and had to give our beautiful house away because we couldn’t afford two house payments. We got married in the backyard and thought we were going to grow old in that house.
Six months, I drove past the house. They have done amazing things to the yard and there are wooden shutters on the windows. I can just imagine what else they have done to it.
It’s not my house anymore.
I’m only weeks away from this very thing. Well, I couldn’t care less about the house but my friends, my neighbors, my town…
I hope your new place starts feeling like home soon.
Sissy´s lastest post..Tastes Like Chicken
I’ve never even thought of that. Maybe it has something to do with this house being my first house. But, I don’t necessarily love my house or neighbors… I do love my small town of Auburn though.
Maybe I’ll love my next house.
Joe´s lastest post..Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
I KNOW how hard it is. I felt that way for an entire year. But eventually it faded and we made new friends and then just as surprisingly, we moved back.
But, it’s different now. We’ve changed and our old friends here have changed and it’s not exactly as I pictured everything working out.
Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt´s lastest post..A resource list for beginning bloggers
Oh, I’m so sorry. I know I would feel the same way about my house if we had to move for some reason, so all I can say is that I am so sorry that this is just one more thing to add to a pile of wishing and wondering and missing.
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com´s lastest post..Hand-made wedding bands.
If you ever do go back, never EVER live near your ‘old’ house.
I drive past mine every damn day and it breaks my heart every time. And it has been 8 years.
it hurts to have to let go of the hope you held for something, even long after the something itself was done or gone.
i’m sorry.
Bon´s lastest post..more
I so understand how you feel…someone else is living your dream! Hopefully, with time, your new house will start feeling more like home.
Mags´s lastest post..There’s no day like a snow day!!!
Our previous house is a town over. Imiss it dealry. I dream about it. Cry about it. And when I am in that town visitng my parents, I drive by it. It misses me, I can totally tell.
brittany´s lastest post..deuce
If I’m ever in Indiana, I’ll egg their car for you. *smooch*
Miss´s lastest post..You made your bed
No need to be embarrassed; that’s a totally normal way to feel. My boyfriend’s parents weren’t able to keep up with their mortgage, so the bank foreclosed 18mos ago; they are still hoping that someday they will be able to get it back and they will keep hoping until it’s bought – maybe even after.
Life wouldn’t be worth living if we didn’t have hope in some form or other. There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed about it.
No one will ever take your place in that house. I promise!!!! It will always be “Jennifer & Jason’s house”. Actually, the girls just said yesterday, “what are those people doing in Ella & Carson’s house???” Miss you!
Brandy´s lastest post..Disney
I am feeling the same way… My nusband is looking for work with the possibility of relocating. I don’t want anyone in MY house either.
Man, you weren’t kidding. We DO have the same story. I think I was talking too much to hear yours though. Sorry.
In fact, I was having a hard time liking my husband after meeting you and imagining the fun we could have back there.
Grrrrr
Amo´s lastest post..We may be loosing touch…
Born and raised in Indiana, and my husband and I are counting down the days until we move to Texas next spring. Tennessee is so much lovelier than Indiana. Be happy!
corrin´s lastest post..Ten Years Younger
Who knows, maybe you will find a better life in the new place.
When I’m feeling down or don’t understand why something is happening, I just ask God to help me through it.
I know I couldn’t have made it through the last few months without Him. Not to sound preachy but it really does help.
I really feel your pain on this one. Thanks for putting it out there because I think we all feel like maybe we’re the only one who ever felt that way, and it’s nice to know there are so many of us out there who have trouble with this. It is SO HARD to leave a life you love. So, so hard. Thanks for sharing your struggle. It makes me feel less alone in mine.