Last week I had this whole post written in my head! Somehow, despite my excitement (SQUEE!!!!), I just never got around to writing down the GOOD NEWS!
I was going to tell you about my magical new Levi’s. Finally, I had found another pair of my beloved Levi 515’s, the lone pair of jeans that I actually wear. I was going to implore you all to go RIGHT NOW to JC Penney, I was even going to call it Jacque Penn-nay to make it more chic! “Buy yourself some jeans!” I was set to declare, because OBVIOUSLY some goober at the Levi’s factory had MISMARKED the sizes on their jeans.
Instead of buying a size 10, I was able to buy a size 8! I know for a fact that I am most certainly NOT a size 8, truthfully, I’m not really a size 10, but more like a size almost-12. This was a RED-LETTER DAY!!
Oh how I loved those jeans. My ass! It looked so good because we all know that even if your ass is really a size 10 ass, if the label on the jeans say size 8, then your ass looks 1000 times better. It’s like the 11th commandment, or something.
See?
Nice size 8 ass, huh? I’m even smiling. This NEVER happens when I’m looking at my ass.
Well, this little Levi love fest was all before I washed the jeans. For, lo! When I washed the jeans, they not longer fit. No! And they were not suddenly too small, THEY WERE TOO BIG!
“How could this be!” I bellowed. Certainly I had not lost ten pounds while my jeans were in the wash. Scowling, I came to the realization that I had broken my #1 rule in jeans purchasing. I had failed to look to see what the jeans were made of…
99% Cotton
1% Spandex
The most eeeeee-vil combination in jeans. Stretchy jeans be damned! My closet is FILLED with pair after pair these hooligan jeans.
That stupid little number 8 on the tag had completely blinded me and made me forget my rule. Instead of having another perfect pair of jeans, I now have yet another pair of jeans that sags on my butt, are about 3 inches too long, and are so big through the waist that I need to wear a belt. **gritted teeth** And I HATE wearing a belt.
Laurin
April 2, 2009 at 2:47 pm
The invisibelt cures the disliking belts problem. It’s a thin, clear strap with no bulky buckle. Beyond that, a higher price point jean really does make a difference. I wish it didn’t!
Laurin´s lastest post..Eat Me Crunchy
Jen
April 2, 2009 at 3:18 pm
oh I TOTALLY agree. Spandex in jeans = Evil. Always with the saggy butt, argh.
NGS
April 3, 2009 at 10:53 am
But belts are wonderful ways to accessorize without thinking!! I’ve always thought of them as scarves or jewelry without having to really think about accessorizing!!
NGS´s lastest post..45 x 365 #134
Sissy
April 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I loathe Spandex! Why do they ruin jeans with that crap? You’re butt did look really good before the wash
Sissy´s lastest post..
ML
April 4, 2009 at 7:18 am
I have NEVER had a pair of pants suddenly get big. You think the spandex does that? Must buy more spandex!!!
ML´s lastest post..At Least 82 Reasons It’s More Than Miraculous I Haven’t Caved on the Lenten Sacrifice of Chocolate
SusanB
April 5, 2009 at 11:04 am
Exactly! EGG-ZACK-LEE. Ugh! I loved 515s pre-kid and hadn’t bought anything but stretchy pants since…so I went to the store the other day and found some and was elated…until The Sag hit. GRRRR!!! Spandex is just awful. As you said…eeeeeeeeevilllllllll.
Sorry your jeans tricked you.
SusanB´s lastest post..I can’t HEAR YOU!
Jill
April 5, 2009 at 11:50 am
Oh I so know about pants that end up being too big… Hopefully you can invest in a good tailor and save your jeans!
Mrs. Flinger
April 6, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I knew you looked tiny tiny! Size 8! I can’t wait to be there, too. You’re lookin’ HAWT, lady!
Mrs. Flinger´s lastest post..1 Part Gypsy, 1 Part Hippie, 2 Parts Nuts, Splash of Vodka: Shake and Pour
Jenny from Mommin' It Up!
April 6, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Oh, that is a sad story! What a bummer. I also hate wearing a belt. I have this flat clear plastic one I wear when I HAVE to wear one, called the “Invisibelt”. I love it. It doesn’t add bulk to the waist which is good because REALLLY who wants more bulk in that area?
Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!´s lastest post..Cookin’ It Up!
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