Last week I had this whole post written in my head! Somehow, despite my excitement (SQUEE!!!!), I just never got around to writing down the GOOD NEWS!
I was going to tell you about my magical new Levi’s. Finally, I had found another pair of my beloved Levi 515′s, the lone pair of jeans that I actually wear. I was going to implore you all to go RIGHT NOW to JC Penney, I was even going to call it Jacque Penn-nay to make it more chic! “Buy yourself some jeans!” I was set to declare, because OBVIOUSLY some goober at the Levi’s factory had MISMARKED the sizes on their jeans.
Instead of buying a size 10, I was able to buy a size 8! I know for a fact that I am most certainly NOT a size 8, truthfully, I’m not really a size 10, but more like a size almost-12. This was a RED-LETTER DAY!!
Oh how I loved those jeans. My ass! It looked so good because we all know that even if your ass is really a size 10 ass, if the label on the jeans say size 8, then your ass looks 1000 times better. It’s like the 11th commandment, or something.
See?
Nice size 8 ass, huh? I’m even smiling. This NEVER happens when I’m looking at my ass.
Well, this little Levi love fest was all before I washed the jeans. For, lo! When I washed the jeans, they not longer fit. No! And they were not suddenly too small, THEY WERE TOO BIG!
“How could this be!” I bellowed. Certainly I had not lost ten pounds while my jeans were in the wash. Scowling, I came to the realization that I had broken my #1 rule in jeans purchasing. I had failed to look to see what the jeans were made of…
99% Cotton
1% Spandex
The most eeeeee-vil combination in jeans. Stretchy jeans be damned! My closet is FILLED with pair after pair these hooligan jeans.
That stupid little number 8 on the tag had completely blinded me and made me forget my rule. Instead of having another perfect pair of jeans, I now have yet another pair of jeans that sags on my butt, are about 3 inches too long, and are so big through the waist that I need to wear a belt. **gritted teeth** And I HATE wearing a belt.
The invisibelt cures the disliking belts problem. It’s a thin, clear strap with no bulky buckle. Beyond that, a higher price point jean really does make a difference. I wish it didn’t!
Laurin´s lastest post..Eat Me Crunchy
oh I TOTALLY agree. Spandex in jeans = Evil. Always with the saggy butt, argh.
But belts are wonderful ways to accessorize without thinking!! I’ve always thought of them as scarves or jewelry without having to really think about accessorizing!!
NGS´s lastest post..45 x 365 #134
I loathe Spandex! Why do they ruin jeans with that crap? You’re butt did look really good before the wash
Sissy´s lastest post..
I have NEVER had a pair of pants suddenly get big. You think the spandex does that? Must buy more spandex!!!
ML´s lastest post..At Least 82 Reasons It’s More Than Miraculous I Haven’t Caved on the Lenten Sacrifice of Chocolate
Exactly! EGG-ZACK-LEE. Ugh! I loved 515s pre-kid and hadn’t bought anything but stretchy pants since…so I went to the store the other day and found some and was elated…until The Sag hit. GRRRR!!! Spandex is just awful. As you said…eeeeeeeeevilllllllll.
Sorry your jeans tricked you.
SusanB´s lastest post..I can’t HEAR YOU!
Oh I so know about pants that end up being too big… Hopefully you can invest in a good tailor and save your jeans!
I knew you looked tiny tiny! Size 8! I can’t wait to be there, too. You’re lookin’ HAWT, lady!
Mrs. Flinger´s lastest post..1 Part Gypsy, 1 Part Hippie, 2 Parts Nuts, Splash of Vodka: Shake and Pour
Oh, that is a sad story! What a bummer. I also hate wearing a belt. I have this flat clear plastic one I wear when I HAVE to wear one, called the “Invisibelt”. I love it. It doesn’t add bulk to the waist which is good because REALLLY who wants more bulk in that area?
Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!´s lastest post..Cookin’ It Up!
[...] I have been on the hunt for a Stacy and Clinton approved pair of jeans since forever. With my body shape and height (pear shaped and stumpy), the search for jeans has been difficult, to say the least. [...]