I might as well just go ahead and sell my uterus in the garage sale

Tate and I recently have a very serious discussion.

“You’re not going to sell that breast pump in the garage sale, are you?”  asked Tate.

“Well, yeah,”  I gave him the what-the-hell-do-you-mean look.  “I’m selling the baby stuff, I thought we decided we were for sure done having babies.  I thought that selling the baby stuff was the whole reason for having a garage sale.”  Again with the what-the-hell-do-you-mean look.

“I know, but…” he didn’t finish his sentence.

“If you want another baby, you better say so now because I’ve just priced 320 onesies.”

“No, no, it’s not that I want another baby, it’s just kinda sad to sell the breast pump.  And it was really expensive, what if we needed it someday?”

“Unless we have another baby, I don’t really think we are going to need a breast pump.  It’s not like I’m going to spontaneously start producing milk, you know.”

“But wouldn’t it be cool if you did?  Think of the money we’d save over all that organic milk we buy?”

“What?”  I shook my head in irritation.  “First, I’m not your own personal milk-producing cow and two, wouldn’t it be kinda weird to pour breast milk on your Cinnamon Life cereal everyday?”

“Oh, well. Yeah.  There’s that.”

End scene.

So this upcoming Saturday, we’re having a gigantic garage sale.  We’re selling almost all of our baby items, minus the breast pump, JUST IN CASE!

I’ve been feeling really melancholy, sorting and pricing my babies’ itty bitty pink and blue clothes and crib sheets, their baby bathtub and high chair.  It feels so…final.

Don’t get me wrong, Tate and I are both in agreement that we feel like our family is complete.  We’re a year away from EASILY being able to go to Disneyworld without having to plan around naps, for goodness sakes!  If we had another baby, we’re looking at three more years before we could do something like that.

There are a myriad of reasons that we’re done having babies besides vacationing.  We live in a 3 bedroom house, three kids means three cars, three college tuitions, another mouth to feed…

Of course, we’re not so sure that we’re Tate’s-getting-a-vasectomy-tomorrow! sure.   We’re merely selling a few easily replaceable baby items in a garage sale.  We could always change our minds.  And luckily we’ll already have that breast pump, you know, JUST IN CASE!