It’s not an exaggeration to say that I am a magnet for Christians. They LOVE me. Really, I don’t know why I seem to attract so many Christians, but seriously, they swarm me. Where ever I go, I always somehow seem to end up talking to someone who really loves Jesus and wants to talk to me about it. Possibly I have that Catholic look and seem to be in need of conversion or maybe I just have an aura around me that screams “She-ah NEEDS-ah Jesus-ah!”
Now don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus, He’s one righteous dude. I’m just private about my beliefs and don’t feel comfortable openly talking about God, Jesus, church, or anything dealing with religion. I struggle mightily with my beliefs and the Bible, but I have the utmost respect for those who are dedicated to their faith, whatever their faith may be.
Something that I’ve learned in the my years living in the south, is that one of the first questions someone asks you upon meeting is, “Where do you go to church?” At first, I found it quite offensive and intrusive. Where I’m from, the Midwest, it’s just not something you ask, at least not when you’re first meeting a person. Religion was always a topic reserved for people that you were very close to and not something to discuss with random strangers.
I’ve grown accustomed to the question and even expect it now. I no longer stammer awkwardly trying to come up with an answer that doesn’t make Tate and I look like devil worshipping heathens. Now I’m prepared and typically fib, just slightly, which is wholly different from outright lying. I tell people that we are Catholic and just haven’t found the right church yet. The truth is actually that we attended one church since moving to Tennessee and didn’t like it AT ALL and on top of not liking it (AT ALL), Tate and I had to coax our wiggly children into submission with crayons, tractors, cookies and half-nelsons for the hour long mass. I always make sure to mention when I’m asked about my church attendance, that I attend Bible study every week, though I leave out the part about my initial reason for attending being the free childcare. (It bears repeating: FREE CHILDCARE.)
Today at the grocery store I must have looked particularly in need of some Christian intervention. The teenage clerk, without even saying “hello” asked me, “Did you go to church today?”
Um. This bears repeating, too. The clerk? As in the cashier, the employee of the store, also a teenager, asked me if I’d been to church today. Which I should mention is variant of the regular, expected question, “Where do you go to church?” This unexpected alteration was quite disconcerting and really caught me off guard.
“No,” I replied, not feeling like I really owed this kid any sort of explanation. Though I’ll tell you the reason that we didn’t attend church today was because Tate and I stayed out until almost 1 AM the night before, cussing and drinking, Tate was hungover as all get out, I was tired, and we had never even planned to attend church anyway. So there! Ha!
And that’s when the teenage clerk asked (you are SO not going to believe this), he asked, “Why not?”
Oh my freaking hell, he asked “Why not?!?!?” Who does that??
I wish I was one of those really quick witted people that can come up with retorts on the fly, but I was flabbergasted! My reply was lame. “Because,” I said with an irritated glare.
Oooh, I really showed him.
Except that I didn’t, because he wasn’t done with his line of questioning yet.
“What? You just didn’t get up in time?” he asked, completely clueless to the lasers shooting out of my eyes into his forehead.
I swear it just might be easier to start going to church.
this is a great story. only because it’s horrifying. (sorry!)
i feel sure that he’s a valiant member of a youth group and he has been “taught” to witness to others in this way.
i know this because i was that boy once. and eventually he’ll be the one horrified, not by his faith, but by his approach.
i have no idea what i would have said, but i’m sure you’ve thought of a hundred funny things since you left the store.
.-= laura @ peacoat´s last blog ..sunday in the canyon – funfetti =-.
Oh my goodness! Sometime I’d like to think up a clever (or flippant) answer to put someone like that in their place! But then again, that’s not very “christian”, is it?
Those and nosy pregnancy questions are the worst!
I had a clan of teen christians come to my door for a survey the other day. They would not go away. I honestly thought I was going to have to show them internet porn to get them to leave.
.-= Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s last blog ..Weekly Winners: August 2009 =-.
I have absolutely no concept of this. In Australia we are very private when it comes to religion. You have to know someone really really well before you ask a question even bordering on religion.
Except if they are one of the door knockers. You can smell the desperation on them.
Wow-that’s pretty intense! And I say that as an every-week-church-attending person who lived in East TN for 10 years. It’s definitely a different world there.
I see that you have the Beth Moore Esther book on your booklist there- my church is doing it for bible study this summer and I’m really enjoying it. It’s not as intense as many of her studies, but definitely still a good one.
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Happy birthday to the second love of my life =-.
That is so rude!
.-= Devan´s last blog ..Silent Sunday: my blessings in pictures =-.
Seriously? That seems on par with a checkout person looking at my chips and cookies and saying something like, “You really need those?”
.-= mep´s last blog ..Off the Sauce(r) =-.
I think you should have just belted him with the honest answer, not that I would have but it would have been funny to see his response.
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..The Day Book: A Day Early =-.
I really think they do it exactly to wear you down into thinking it’s just easier to go to church and avoid the lecture. I’ve been followed around the grocery store by little old ladies extolling the virtues of their church when I said “We haven’t found the one right for us” as an answer to “where do you go to church?” I actually had to tell one of them that right now I am happy dancing naked outside under the full moon but will keep her church in mind, just to finish my shopping
.-= stacey@Havoc&Mayhem´s last blog ..Weekly Winners – week 32 =-.
Holy shit! That is freaking ridiculous. I hated that about living in the south. Just because I don’t go to church does not make me Satan in Spandex. Okay, not that I really wear spandex.
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..I Can’t Believe I Gave My Panties To A Geek =-.
Yeah, just what you need as a woman and mom, something else to make you feel guilty.
Think up what your answer’s gonna be next time and be ready.
.-= Maureen at IslandRoar´s last blog ..The "Curious" Circle of Life =-.
Feel free to borrow my line:
Where do you go to church? “We don’t, we’re democrats.”
Did you go to church today? “No.” Why not? “We’re democrats”
It doesn’t work in Chicago, but here in rural Central IL people don’t know how to respond.
.-= Rayne of Terror´s last blog ..37 Weeks =-.
unbelievable.
i’m with you on this whole post. i’ve always lived in the south, but it wasn’t until 9ys ago when i moved to GA that i got all these questions. never from a grocery store clerk, tho’!
hmmmm, maybe next time you could ask the person where THEY shop for underwear.
.-= mpotter´s last blog ..who’s your favorite? =-.
Oh. My. Word.
I am for sure not moving to the south. That would drive me NUTS!
I am continuously surprised at Christians that feel the best way to get people to Jesus is to pester, bug, annoy, guilt, and brow-beat people into doing it. Bizarre.
.-= Kat´s last blog ..Finally! =-.
You need a great comeback line, like “I overslept b/c I was up so late last night sacrificing a virgin to the gods of Thor.”
Another reason I’d never survive in the south.
I am marking this reason number ONE not to move to Tennessee.
.-= Misty´s last blog ..Hiding =-.
I don’t know if I will ever get used to this part of the south. People are always asking me what church I attend and worse they sent teenagers and elem age kids to my door to convert me to their particular version of Jesus. We don’t discuss those things in the North (except Jehovas Witnesses).
.-= Michelle Smiles´s last blog ..Oh the horror =-.
Hello inappropriate…have you met none of your d*mn business?!?
.-= Nap Warden´s last blog ..Princess Power! =-.
WOW…I mean…WOW…
I’m a Christian. I like to joke that my husband and I are professional Christians (we’re a clergy family)! I know and love the Lord, and want everyone around me to as well. BUT I WOULD NEVER TALK TO SOMEONE LIKE THIS!!! That’s just awful and disrespectful, and really give the normal Christians a bad name…
Yikes…
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Squooshy this week… =-.
How weird. And awkward. I mean, that kid was working. Had he gone to church? Anyway. I go to church and love Jesus, but we did not go to church yesterday. Because we slept in and were lazy and just generally didn’t have a good reason. So of COURSE we saw people FROM OUR CHURCH at the restaurant where we ate lunch!!
.-= Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect´s last blog ..Recipe Friday: Crispy S’mores Bars =-.
I think you should have told him cause you were out drinking & cussing the night before. Would have probably shut him up if only because of the shock.
.-= Melanie (Modern Mami)´s last blog ..Brown is Not Enough =-.
Ugggh. So obnoxious. Worse than “Are you breastfeeding” which bugs the crap out of me.
.-= LZ´s last blog ..Alone time is a girl’s best friend. =-.
I like IN Oklahoma, which is kind of border line. So you’ve got a 50/50 chance of the person thinking it’s perfectly acceptable to convert while pumping gas. LOL When you come up with a list of snappy come backs share them!
That? That is why me and Tennessee don’t get along. At least it’s one of the reasons.
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..A Very Important Question =-.
oh my goodness, I can’t really imagine. This could not possibly every happen in New England.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Quick Quiz & Query. =-.
I’ve got to say, that’s a new one on me. Don’t devil worshippers meet on Fridays? Perhaps if you’d enlightened him to that fact…
.-= patois´s last blog ..My Two Cents =-.
I hope you went to the store’s website and sent them an email about it. I’m sure that clerk’s badgering of the customers wouldn’t go down with with the suits. I’m a big believer of writing angry emails/letters to corporate. If nothing else, it feels great to give back a little!
.-= Lisa A.´s last blog ..At great risk of getting burned =-.
You know, we’re not religious or churchgoers either, and here in the Midwest, I’d be extremely offended by that line of questioning. However, if “where do you go to church” is an expected question, my guess is that the kid was just trying to make polite conversation. It probably never occurred to him that you don’t go to church. For him, it was probably akin to asking someone in downtown Chicago if they hit the Cubs game. “So, did you go to the cubs game last night? No? Why not? Couldn’t get a sitter?”
Not offensive (unless you’re a sox fan, I guess), just polite conversation.
Of course, a person’s tone says a lot, and you don’t get that over the Internet, but it’s a different perspective, anyway. I like to try to think the best of people.
Oh My God. People. Seriously. A teenager, of all things! Aren’t they supposed to be heathens?
Added to the list of reasons why I should never move to the south.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Showing Her Age =-.
And this is why I can’t live in the South…I can’t even imagine holding a straight face with a question like that.
.-= Teri´s last blog ..3 is a Magic Number =-.
Welcome to the South. If it bothers you, perhaps you could ask if your husband could get transferred again.
Ohhhh, sweet, dear, Tennessee. How I love thee. I have a terrible habit of answering random strangers who ask those sorts of questions with things like, “No, but I did sacrifice my requisite lamb last week. So I think I’m good for the month.” Or, “Yep, and my daddy got bit by a copperhead. But he’s alright.” That one really shuts them up.
Misty, Oh please don’t think all of Tennessee is bad because of one uber Christian teenage checker! It really isn’t bad and people really are well meaning…even this kid, though he was completely inappropriate!
Katie, I know that most people are so well meaning and they are truly just trying to make conversation. This kid (I hope) really didn’t understand how inappropriate this line of questioning was.
Lisa, Tate really wanted me to say something to the manager, and on one hand I think I should say something because he shouldn’t be asking those types of questions. On the other hand I think his intention was honorable in the sense that he was simply trying to make conversation, albeit HIGHLY inappropriate conversation.
McMama, He was definitely just trying to make conversation and I’m certain (I hope so anyway) that he didn’t mean to be offensive. I want to see the good in him!
Amy, I can tell by the tone of your comment that I’ve offended you. Not sure exactly what you found offensive, I thought I was being rather respectful and showing that I’ve learned that these types of questions are well meaning. Just because I’m from a different place doesn’t make my views wrong.
I stand by the fact that this boy’s question was inappropriate, no matter where it was said (south, midwest, pacific northwest…)
I hope that this reply doesn’t sound like an apology for anything I said in my post, because it’s not.
As for transferring again, no thanks! But what a thoughtful suggestion.
Carrie, The Beth Moore Esther study is my first ever Bible study. I’m enjoying it, though Beth Moore’s style has taken some getting used to! I’ve really enjoyed reading the book of Esther and seeing how it relates to modern women.
I would laugh but if I skipped church on Sunday morning & have to leave the house at any point – I make sure my hair & makeup look good so as to fool anyone who would ask “Did you go to services this morning?” And yes, apparently it’s perfectly acceptable to ask that question in the south. I hate living in the south.
I would vote to just stop grocery shopping on Sundays!
.-= Bellamomma´s last blog ..I lost that round =-.
Repeat after me, Miss Manners’ all purpose response to rude/annoying/cruel/etc. questions:
“Why do you ask?”
Practice, with varying degrees of scorn, for a variety of situations.
If the asker persists, you can go with “That’s private,” or “That’s personal,” or “That’s none of your gosh-darn business,” depending on how annoyed you are.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Happy Fourth Birthday Mary Grace! =-.
You are so much nicer than I am. I would have put this kid in his place and made him feel just as uncomfortable.
The nerve! I remember, when I was little, my mom making me dress up to go to Consumer’s anytime we had to go to the grocery store on a Sunday when we hadn’t been to church! Now I still feel weird about going somewhere on a Sunday my clothes just slightly different than my pajamas!
LOL! I’m laughing because if you are in a STORE on Sunday in UTAH it’s because you are a heathen…and they shoot laser eyes at you because Mormons are against shopping on Sunday.
.-= Connie @ Young and Relentless´s last blog ..Mistaken Identity =-.
I’m going against the grain here and saying…that is why I LOVE the south! On the west coast no one even tries to make conversation with you at all.
The reason those questions are always asked is because almost everybody in the south goes to church. It’s sad that anyone would be offended by that.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Just Beachy =-.
Sarah, I completely appreciate the fact that people in the south are simply trying to make conversation by asking where I go to church. It took awhile for me to learn that since my upbringing didn’t include discussing religion with strangers.
I think I made it clear in my post that I no longer have a problem with people asking where I go to church since it really is a conversation starter. I don’t have a problem with people going to church at all, I’m not opposed to going to church myself! What I hope I made clear is that the boy, an employee of the store, who asked if I’d been to church and then asked “why not” was completely out of line and inappropriate. Had he not been a store employee, I would have been less irritated and offended by his question.
LOL. You did make it very clear. I wasn’t writing angry at all. I just couldn’t keep reading all of the comments people were leaving about how awful the south was without saying something to stand up for them. Every place I’ve lived has a certain “way” about them, and the south certainly takes some getting used to!
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Just Beachy =-.
Try homeschooling and dodging the “where do you go to church” questions from fellow homeschooling moms. Homeschooling moms, who I might add, that don’t wear makeup, pants, or cut their hair. It’s awkward, to say the least.
I’m always surprised they don’t ban me from the group.
.-= Karly´s last blog ..The Pictures Are Because I Get Requests Like “More Pictures of Cleatus, Please.” Not Because They Actually Have Anything To Do With This Post. Blogging Is So Hard. =-.
Gotta love it. I would have said something…only because I don’t care to be judged..by a teenager.
But I’m also the heathen that GOES to church while people are at church because the place is DEAD. Its fun living in the bible belt…you know when to go to stores for peace and quiet. Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights!!
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Blue =-.
Um, you made a comment on StumbleUpon regarding my Passing the Bed depression/motherhood post. So I came here to ask you if you’ve found a good church yet?
Oh lady, I’m sorry you had to stand there across from the judge and jury. Sure, he meant well, and here’s to hoping that one day he realizes his silliness.
.-= Heather of the EO´s last blog ..What Kind Of Cat Are You? (In which I give away some very good music) =-.
Wow. That would be so out of line here.
.-= 12ontheinside´s last blog ..Boys are Dumb =-.