Some of you are going to be in shock when you read this. Others of you may question whether or not you feel like we can continue being friends.
I hope this doesn’t change things between us.
I do not really care for chocolate or sweets. I KNOW! Shocking! It’s like I just told you that I actually have a pen!s.
I can say with 100% certainty that I despise plain milk chocolate, but when forced (like when it’s sitting in front of me and my husband bought it for me as a “gift” and looks at me with wide, expectant eyes), I will eat it.
Chocolate with some sort of nut accompaniment is preferred, though it’s still not as delicious to me as a big plate of nachos with melting cheese and jalapenos. I do enjoy candies and pies and cakes and ice creams occasionally, but if given a choice, I’d prefer prime rib and a baked potato with butter and sour cream. I actually have an entire list of Chocolate and Sweets Consumption and the Enjoyment Thereof Bylaws that can be obtained for a nominal fee of $27 plus $9.95 shipping and handling, in the event you are curious as to my specific preferences and whims. (Bylaw #314b: I adore all things gummy, when the tide is out on the third Tuesday of every other month during leap years.)
I’m telling you all of this because I’m a superior wife and blogger that feels as if you need to know the aforementioned information before making a final judgment regarding an argument I’m having with my husband.
Every so often, or rather, too often, Tate comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for each of us. He prefers the chocolately ones, I like Cookies & Cream or Raspberry Cobbler. In the past, I’ve shamefully eaten every last bite of my pint of ice cream. Since I’ve been trying to be wiser about my eating habits and become a better friend to my thighs, I’ve tried to eat only 1/4 to a 1/3 of the pint, while Tate continues to snarf down all of his. I put the remainder of my ice cream in the freezer to save for another night.
Imagine my shock and horror when a few days later I discover the scent of MY ICE CREAM on Tate’s breath and find the tell tale ice cream soiled spoon on the counter. Alright, that may be hard to imagine since I just basically told you that I’m just not that into sweets, BUT!! It was MY ice cream that I WAS going to eat eventually. AND!! Having saved ice cream in the fridge meant that Tate wouldn’t have buy MORE when he inevitably went out to get Ben and Jerry’s. Also, why can’t Tate figure out how to open the dishwasher and place dirty dishes INSIDE???
Tate rolled his eyes and sighed his exasperated sigh when I yelled at him for eating MY ice cream. He explained that once the ice cream pint goes back into the freezer uneaten, it becomes fair game and that he has every right to pick up the ice cream off waivers.
“It’s not like you even really like it that much,” he retorted, getting in the last word. He then stole the remote control from my hands and forced me to watch American Rifleman, while I sat in stunned silence, mourning the loss of my ice cream. (I just made up the events in the last sentence.)
I feel that once I’ve started a pint of ice cream, particularly when he originally had his very own pint, that the ice cream remains mine for my personal consumption whenever I feel like eating it. There is no rule stating that I MUST finish the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting. I also feel that I should not have to live in fear in my own HOME that my saved ice cream will be robbed, never to be seen again…(well, you know what I mean.)
So. If you were able to work past the fact that I’m not a superfan of chocolate and sweets and read this, what do you think? Does Tate have the right to eat my ice cream off waivers because “It’s not like [I] even really like it that much?” (Am refraining from capitalizing the word “MY” in the previous sentence and not using the word “steal” in the place of “eat” because I want to be a RESPONSIBLE and FAIR blogger and not sway your decision in any way.)
Christopher
October 20, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I must say the ice cream is fair game and I will cite two pieces of evidence.
First, you state ice cream is purchased often (too often). My opinion might be different if the purchase was more significant or special in some way. If he had purchased something special that you don’t get very often then your case might be stronger. However, the next round of ice cream is probably right around the corner. Therefore, the infraction is less significant.
Second, you state the ice cream had been in the freezer for a few days. To me that is long enough to make it fair game.
I feel the time frame is critical. If he ate it that same night or even the next day, your outrage would be justified.
Heather
October 20, 2009 at 8:19 pm
This is like looking into my OWN life!
I too, never finish a pint of ice cream. Often I can eat it 2-3 times! Nothing chafes me more than when my husband decides it’s fair game! It’s not MY fault he was a pig and ate all his! Have some self-control man!!
I’m with you 10000000% on this one!
Anna See
October 20, 2009 at 8:23 pm
i would bite his hand off. that’s your ice cream. sheesh!
Anna See´s last blog ..Bubble Boy
Leighann
October 20, 2009 at 8:53 pm
ask him if he had bought you new panty and bra set and you were only wearing one on a given day would he feel comfortable wearing the other? a gift is a gift. just because someone doesn’t eat it all in one sitting doesn’t mean they don’t want it!!
oh, and i’m not big of chocolate either. just reading about your nachos excited me enough to possibly go make some right now. Love. Salt.
Leighann´s last blog ..Happy 8 Months!
mom, again
October 20, 2009 at 10:17 pm
He gave it to you. It is yours. Period. He is in the wrong.
(Even so, I Tate leftover sweets from anyone in the house. Plus, I made the rule that certain things, nobody ever better take the last of, in case I was planning on eating it. Perhaps these are the reasons I am twice the woman I was.
Dana
October 21, 2009 at 1:40 am
ok, well despite the fact that you may or may not have a penis because you don’t dream of chocolate and sweets all day long…I still LOVE YOU. And…? You are totally right of course. There is no such thing as “off waivers” when it comes to YOUR stuff, especially because he ate his already. And that is so totally STEALING.
P.S.
You are not alone. My penis-possessing-food-theiving-husband does the same dang thing!
UGH. Disgust. lol
Dana
Vicki
Twitter: TwinsMa
October 21, 2009 at 2:41 pm
I have a solution. He gets you one, himself one, and then one that you can both share. That way you can stake claims to the one that is “just yours” and he can pirate a little of the shared and not bogart your icecream. If he eats both of them though, I’d have to call foul on him.
tracey
October 21, 2009 at 9:54 pm
WHAT?!?! He ATE YOUR PINT???
Smack him. HARD. That is a total violation of all codes. ESPECIALLY since you don’t like sweets! This means that the sweets you DO like are that more important to you.
It is really unfair that we can’t hide frozen foods. I mean, I hide chips and cookies all the time (though the little rugrats find my stash more than I care to admit) but the ice cream doesn’t fare too well when it’s shoved underneath the computer desk…
tracey´s last blog ..It’s amazing what a little sunshine can do for the soul…
Carrie
October 22, 2009 at 8:09 am
He bought it for YOU. It’s YOURS. If he wants what you didn’t eat, he should ASK FIRST, and then when you say “Yeah, I don’t THINK so,” he should go to the store and buy some more for himself.
Carrie´s last blog ..What day is it?
Sarah
October 22, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Oh you are SO in the right with this. That was YOUR icecream!!! He bought it for you to consume…there is no law that states you MUST eat it all at THAT minute! Shame shame on him!
(don’t you love being right?!)
Sarah´s last blog ..When you’re falling off the face of the earth-
Rachel
October 22, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Jennifer,
I’m a stay at home mom with my own little Carson and Ella. I recently came across your blog and have been completely entertained as I’ve gone back and read your past entries. Your writing is so funny, and there’s something inspiring about seeing your words describing so many experiences and thoughts that are so similar to my own as a wife and mom. Thanks for sharing your life with us!
valerie
October 23, 2009 at 9:30 am
Just because you chose to savor your ice cream doesn’t mean he as any right to eat it. Your pint is your pint. Especially since he had his own.
Trust me, I know the rules on this because I am, like Tate, a pint inhaler and I am always jealous of those who eat theirs bit by bit and have a little bit of ice cream every day for a week.
Tell him to lay off your Chunky Monkey.
valerie´s last blog ..Nuts.
mpotter
October 23, 2009 at 9:49 am
we do that, too. i give him the cheesiest doritos. and he eats his (or steals mine off my plate) w/ no regard to looking to see which one he should take.
he figures it’s my fault for not liking certain ones.
i’m with you.
i say if you have a preference and it’s expected that you could eat the whole pint, then… you should be able to. on your own timeline.
mpotter´s last blog ..#75 explained- the magic birthday
Marinka
Twitter: MarinkaNYC
October 23, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Keep your ice cream in the dishwasher.
Marinka´s last blog ..Letter Writing Tips for My Husband’s Future Mistress
Ben
Twitter: benbramz
October 23, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Simple solution which serves as revenge and teaches a lesson:
1)Buy 6 pack of tate’s favorite beer and place in fridge.
2)On arrival from very hard day at work, offer the offender with a bottle of beer from the aforementioned 6 pack
3) Wait the next day, and drink his beers. When disapproval occurs, remind him of the “free pickings” law he put in place.
You’ll find your B&J’s untouched in the future. I charge no fee for that exert of brilliance.
susie
November 25, 2009 at 3:21 pm
it’s a grey area. now, if he eats your nachos…. that’s black and white right there.
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