I’ve been a daredevil parent since the beginning. Soon after Carson was born and back when I still read Parents Magazine, I read that one of his toys had been recalled because the wheels on one of his plush car toys could come off and choke an unsuspecting infant.
You know what I did? Not a darn thing. I didn’t even take the death trap toy away from Carson. He continued to gnaw and gnaw on that toy, defying the odds stacked against him and that toy. I really enjoyed the added rush of excitement that lingered whenever he played with the toy.
There was also this one time (okay, about twenty times) that I put Carson in his Bumbo seat and placed him high atop a bookshelf while I went out for the afternoon with some girlfriends. Danger, schmanger. I figured he was safer up there than on the ground, prey to the dogs. He was perfectly fine when I returned a few hours later and didn’t even fall out until I got home!
Once when Ella was a baby, I let her ride in her carseat on top of the roof of my car, just to let her get some fresh air. We rode around, I took her out on the highway to pick up some speed and really let her feel the wind in her wisps of hair. The only truly dangerous thing I did was not putting socks on her wee little baby feet. Poor girl was freezing when I retrieved her. I’m lucky she didn’t catch a cold.
At the beginning of the summer, I signed both kids up for knife juggling. They didn’t really show any real talent for the sport and weren’t making any progress so I cancelled the lessons. They started practicing on their own and really started to show improvement. Nothing like getting sliced a few times to really teach them!
This pattern of dangerous parenting has continued. Why, just yesterday at Target, an employee stopped us to reprimand me for allowing Carson to ride standing up on the back of the cart. She warned me that children END UP IN THE HOSPITAL by such careless acts by parents.
It’s a good thing she taught me something about safety and parenting. I think I really have a lot to learn.
(Portions of this post were either fabricated and/or greatly exaggerated. The part about Target? 100% true.)