“We really prefer Miss Helen’s Dance over Jamison’s Dance Academy. Allison gets a lot more individual attention there.” A group of my mom friends were trading tips on their kids’ activities.
Another mom added, “Well we finally got Hunter and Taylor registered for swim lessons with that private instructor you told me about,” she pointed at the mom sitting next to me who nodded with fervent agreement. “It was hard to work around their soccer and t-ball practices.”
I sat and listened, trying not to let the panic stricken look show on my face that I’d strategically concealed with a Stepword wife smile and glazed look. Silently I interrogated myself. “Why haven’t I gotten Carson and Ella involved in anything! Have I totally crippled them as potential athletes because they are going to be way behind all of their peers in sports and dance and swimming??? How was I even supposed to know this stuff??”
My mind suddenly relived every sports related horror of my childhood.
…the time I fell in a hole on the soccer field my first day of practice when I was seven years old and the only kid who had never played before. (I never played soccer again.)
…when I was about nine, I decided I wanted to try gymnastics and learn how to do back handsprings and was placed in a beginner’s class with preschoolers. “MOM! I’m with the BABIES, learning how to do somersaults!!” (I didn’t go back, but it was the first time I was the tallest kid in class. So there was that.)
…I was always one of the last picked for teams in kickball, softball, basketball, volleyball, and EVERY OTHER PLAYGROUND SPORT IMAGINABLE during elementary school. (Please note I was ONE of the last, not THE last. This is an important distinction.)
…I didn’t make cheerleading in 7th grade because I was awful. I couldn’t do herkies or pikes or toe touches, or even remember two lines of a cheer, but whatever.
…For one season I was on my high school’s swim team, but the stress of the competition resulted in my wishing the school bus would break down on the way to the meets and/or praying for raging diarrhea so I wouldn’t have to compete.
The discussion amongst the moms continued. “We started Chloe in soccer when she was about two and a half up at that indoor sports complex off Water Road. It was a daddy-daughter thing and she LOVED it!”
“It’s so funny to hear you all talk about your little ones! I remember when Chase was that young and starting to play! It was so cute to watch all the kids chase after the balls. Now that he’s fifteen, it’s so competitive and I have to spend nearly every waking moment on the baseball field once spring comes.”
PANIC! My children are going to be behind and they aren’t even in elementary school!
Tate was always involved in sports, but I’m not particularly athletic. Coordination and game rules don’t come naturally to me. I don’t know if I would have started playing sports earlier if it would have made a difference or helped my confidence, but I do know that I don’t want my kids to be like me when it comes to sports. Even if they aren’t the best athletes, I want them to enjoy some sort of athletic activity and I don’t want them to give up without ever giving it a chance.
My fear is that if I don’t get off my non-athletic butt and start getting them involved, they are going to be very behind their peers in sports and dance. If most kids are starting soccer/dance/gymnastics/t-ball at two or three years old, then if I wait any longer to get them involved, they are going to be the worst players, the ones always picked almost last (or God forbid, LAST), or they are going to be the nine year olds put in the beginner groups with BABIES.
I guess now the thing I need to do is get over my phone phobia and actually call around to some places to try and register each of them for whatever it is you register kids for in the spring.
im not athletic either but here’s a thought…i know they are young but why don’t you give them a couple of choices and see which ones they go for?
im sure your kids are just fine. don’t beat yourself up because of what those women do. they are choosing for their kids, guiding them to fulfill what THEY want.
maybe having a hand in choosing will help them be more excited in what they do.
i always wished i had gone to dancing school…i did gymnastics but wasn’t great at it and i had the same kind of cheerleading experiences you did. my school was small so most people made the team, but i always made like JV when all my friends were V. things like that.
all in all i was happy with socializing
good luck!
.-= lis´s last blog ..hope springs eternal =-.
*sigh* we are trying to work out how we want to deal with this. My husband is British, and when he was a child, the only organized sport was at school, begining around aged 11 or so. Before that, you played games at recess and learned from each other.
I was the last one picked.
With my daughters, I was not quite well enough off to over indulge in signing them up for too much. Esp when my parenting became the single kind. We attempted a bit of it, but between my boss being less than enthusiastic about my rearranged afternoon schedules and the girls being out of town at their dad’s every other weekend, the whole thing was too stressful for words. We tried YMCA soccer one fall, and YMCA gymnastics another year, and then, they simply did whatever stuff the after school program offered. By the time the younger one was in high school though, we’d moved up a few notches financially, and to California. She really, really felt the lack of early training in sport or dance. Things like sports teams and competitive dance teams count as gym here, and she didn’t qualify for teams. Which meant she took real gym during the day, instead of some team (or off season training for a team) in the early afternoon. Which then mucked up her ability to get into all sorts of classes. Another thing for you to stress over, you’re welcome!
So, now we’ve got the small boy, age 2 years, 7 months and 22 days according to screen on the camera. I realized he’s old enough for some of the pre-sports activities at the community center. And, I guess I should sign him up. We already missed swimming sign ups, the one I’d be most interested in at this point. I’m considering a private coach because they will meet us at the neighborhood pool, which might actually be less stressful for me than the mommy & me class.
And then there’s music classes, our neighbor’s 4 year old is learning violin and piano.
I just don’t think I’m cut out for the middle class.
I agree choices are good for them. My kids loved soccer when they were 2 and 3 but now they hate it. My oldest loves gymnastics which I never would have signed him up for because he is a little accident prone but he loves it.
We do one sport a season and only once a week. More than that makes me a little crazy. Good luck finding something. I’m also hearing all the buzz about summer camps but I’m happily ignoring them.
I’m with you on this.
I try my hardest not to worry. Jared is 5 and I’ve asked him if he wants to try basketball or soccer, he’s not interested. The only thing he does right now is art class at the Y. He loves to draw. I try very hard not to get too worked up about what he is or isn’t doing and I have to give myself a pep talk about NOT comparing what I’m doing with what other people are doing with their kids. It’s hard, but it’s not a competition, they do what works for them and we do what works for us! 
But see, he’s at least involved in SOMETHING! Not all kids want to play sports, so your son who loves to draw is in an art class…perfect!
I just feel like I need to get them involved in something. Sports seems like the most likely thing I’ll try since neither of them is showing any interest in the arts!
Yeah, I guess I should have prefaced that with he JUST started art class.
Like in Nov…. and he’s 5. And I think that it’s OK for them not to be involved in a organized group of any kind. JMHO. I’m sure that your kids are fine and just where they need to be, in other words NOT behind! We just took a month off of art class, notice he’d only been doing it for 2 months, we’ll be starting up again in Feb. I’ll keep him enrolled until he says enough.
.-= Natalia Burleson´s last blog ..Goals wk 4 and a recipe and a tip! =-.
In my experience, the sports stuff for little kids is very low pressure and a good way for the kids to burn off some energy. We’re not super-scheduled around here, but we’ve done some soccer, basketball, and swimming, and I like having those activities to break up the sometimes-long days.
I recommend Lil Kickers (which I think is a national program) for a fun, soccer-esque experience for you little ones.
.-= mep´s last blog ..Hot to trot? =-.
So keep in mind that this opinion is coming from a dance teacher… I started dancing “late” when I was 10. I had shown some interest in dancing when I was probably 4 or 5. My mom took me to a local studio for something similar to a placement test and I just wasn’t ready to start.
I attempted taking gymnastics and quit because I couldn’t do a cartwheel or a handstand and it made me miss cartoons and the girl who stood in line in front of me for the balance beam didn’t wear underwear under her peach colored leotard. I was not a gymnast and I decided I didn’t wanna be.
A couple years later my friends were in dance classes and I was really interested in starting. I started taking classes and never looked back. I don’t recall being the tallest or oldest kid in the class. Maybe I was just so lost in my dance class bliss that I didn’t notice.
The teacher in me wants to mention that at the studio where I teach, kids are grouped by age but also with attention skill level. Some of the younger girls who are a little more advanced get bumped up, some of the older girls who need a little more time before moving up stay in the class they’ve been in. This works because the class ranges are 3-4, 5-7, 8-10, and 10 and up.
I also know that I have several girls in my classes who have years less training than their classmates and the environment that they’re in encourages them to excel. In fact, one of my best students is in that 8-10 class and she’s only been dancing for the last 2 years where her peers have been dancing since they were 3.
So, long story short, I think what really matters is that Carson and Ella are really interested in whatever sport or activity they participate in. I don’t think there’s any rush. If you choose to go the dance route, go visit the studio. Ask how their classes are grouped, observe some classes, see if you can see a video of their last recital, and call me if you have any questions.
.-= valerie´s last blog ..ZUMBA!!!! =-.
That is very helpful to know. It sounds like your dance studio does a great job with grouping kids.
I think that the gymnastics place where I was put with preschoolers did me a huge disservice, but I also understand that most nine year olds were far more advanced than me and I wouldn’t have been able to participate in that class, either.
I guess it’s just a fine line and I don’t want to misstep at the detriment to either of my kids.
I started mine around here at age 4 with the city’s Parks & Rec sports. Sometimes the YMCA will have different sports for kids. Just check around!
Personally, I think age 2-3 is a little young. Four was pushing it, but my oldest was very energetic, very athletic, and definitely ready. My middle … no so much but he needed all the interaction and things that he could get because of his developmental delays so I put him in tball and soccer. His developmental ped said for me to do as much of that for him as I could so we have.
I will say that my oldest played a form of t-ball at age 3 (they called it ‘blastball’) that was less organized but still fun for the kids. Again, he was always very athletic and on the go (read: HYPER!) so I figured that would just give him a few more hours with friends while hitting a baseball, which he loved.
You don’t HAVE to start them young. It’s whatever you think is best for them and your family!
Been there, done that. Exposing your kids to sports is great. At a minimum, it’s another social outlet and teaches team skills.
But beware. At the ages your kids are, 90% of the parents out there are convinced they have the next Jeter, Phelps, Shawn Johnson, whatever. You start out in recreation level leagues, classes, and then you will hear all the parents talking about tryouts for “select” or “all-star” type teams (which are as much about who-you-know parent politics as they are about the kids’ skill). Follow your instincts and pay attention to your OWN kid. Do NOT let these over-zealous folks convince you that you must follow them through the frenzy of select teams, private trainers, etc.
You generally have until around middle school to figure out if your child has that certain something to focus on one particular sport.
I’ve got one of each. One super-stud totally focused goal-oriented maniac of an athlete and one who is an every-day kinda kid. They’re both awesome. Enjoy the ride and don’t let the crazies whip you into their frenzy.
Pam
That is something that I’m worried about…the uber competitive parents. I really just want to find a place where the kids have fun and learn a few basic fundamentals.
I have no desire to ever do the whole select team route. Those kinds of things are incredibly expensive and I don’t see the point in investing that kind of money in something that may or more likely, may not lead to college scholarship/invite to play minor leagues…. Maybe I’d feel differently if I saw that my kid had amazing talent (which I’m not expecting!)
The kids will have fun no matter what. The uber competitive parents are going to be everywhere, whether it’s a rec league, skills class, you name it. Just don’t drink their KoolAid and you’ll be fine.
Some community centers offer a “sports camp” type thing for little ones where they get to explore 3-4 sports and learn basics of all of them. These are usually offered during holiday breaks, summer, etc.
.-= Pam´s last blog ..Silver linings =-.
I am one of those few people that believe that over scheduling children is not necessary what is best for them. Let’s let our kids be kids and get involved in what inspires them. One extra a year that a kid loves can be more fun and productive than being scheduled every season in something extra. Not everyone needs to be good at soccer and dance.
I don’t think you’re one of the few, I also don’t believe in overscheduling my kids. With that said, my kids haven’t been exposed to ANYTHING. I don’t know if they’d love some sport because I’ve never tried. The point of this post really wasn’t about the desire to overschedule them, but to give them an opportunity to try.
There is no way that I’m going to have them in more than one activity at a time. That would be too hard on them and on me!
My goal for them is not to be the best, or even be good at soccer/dance/gymnastics…, but I do have a desire for them to not be like me, lacking confidence and too afraid to try.
I hope that you and your kids are able to find groups that inspire them. Good luck.
.-= Melinda´s last blog ..Lazy Days =-.
i came from a family with four kids… we were each allowed to pick one activity (art, dance, karate) but the stipulation was that it couldn’t meet on weekends. i think we’ll be taking the same stance with our kids. i have no interest spending my weekends on the soccer or baseball fields.
granted, my parents only had one boy and i have three… so… we’ll see.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Sunday Citar =-.
My kids will have a similar rule, they aren’t going to be able to be involved in more than one thing at a time. I’ll have to allow weekend stuff, though, or my husband will never get to see them do anything since his work schedule is crazy during the week.
I actually think there is a movement to NOT schedule preschoolers so much, so I think lots of people are in your shoes. Studies have also been done, and whether a child starts a sport while still in diapers or in middle elementary, there is no difference in athletic ability. Sure, they might be a little behind at first, but their learning curve is so great at age 9 that they catch up super fast. Plus, it’s all new and exciting and fun, so they can end up being better players with better attitudes and more enthusiasm. (Also, since lots of people now are NOT putting their young children in stuff, they probably won’t be the only ones spending a little time “catching up”.)
We don’t schedule our kids for much. They can do ONE sport at a time, but many seasons (like this past fall) we didn’t do any. Over the summer, the rule still applies: one sport at a time, but they can also take a non-sport class like theater.
Right now I have all three signed up for gymnastics. Because it’s winter, and they need a place to burn some steam. But NOT because I want them to keep up with their over-scheduled peers. =)
(There are also many studies that show the negative effects of putting young children in lots of activities.)
I’m saying all this because I think your children will be fine whether or not you sign them up for lots of sports/activities.
.-= Marie Green´s last blog ..Lingering Regrets =-.
I don’t plan on scheduling them in every activity available. I think one activity per kid, per season is more than enough. I have zero desire to spend every waking minute shopping for sports gear, running to games, spending money on team pictures and trophies…
But I do think that they need to have at least an opportunity to try SOMETHING since I haven’t signed them up for anything.
I think an activity here and there is excellent. I especially like it in the deep of winter when we can’t get outside. Or in the heart of summer, to give our days some order.
I’m sorry if I implied that I thought YOU were trying to overschedule. I simply wanted you to know that lots of people are overly-zealous about this… because lots of people ARE, and they are the ones that make the rest of us feel like our kids are loosing out.
They will love whatever you choose for them!
.-= Marie Green´s last blog ..Lingering Regrets =-.
Oh you don’t need to say sorry for anything! I’m the one who should be sorry, I had my panties in such a wad over this silly post yesterday. I guess it’s because I’ve been having this ongoing argument w/my husband that he never HEARS me and then when my readers weren’t all saying, “oh yes, I agree 100%!” yesterday, I got all bent out of shape. Clearly I have issues.
Please carry on! Amazing what a night of sleep and some perspective will do.
I hear you. It seems like everyone I know has their kids in soccer or some other sport. I am not looking to breed a professional athlete, but I would like my kids to have a basic understanding and enjoyment of team sports. I never played any sport growing up, except gymnastics for 15 years, and I really don’t want either of them to get into that. Guess what they both want to do?
I never enjoyed playing kickball at recess and gym class made me want to pretend I was sick every day. I just want my kids to be able to think it’s fun.
.-= LZ´s last blog ..Menage a Monday: Featuring BORED Mommy =-.
Exactly! I just want to give them the opportunity to think it’s fun rather than wishing raging diarrhea on themselves so they don’t have to play/compete.
man do i relate to your experiences. i, for one, am pretty glad most people have done away with dodge ball and red rover.
i took summer school PE in 9th grade b/c i can’t throw/catch a ball…. so i bowled every day.
awesome A!
i think carson and ella are a good age to begin something, and i don’t think you’ve waited too long.
(but, um, putting you in a class w/ preschoolers was silly. i was the oldest in my gymnastics class. but at least they were all just a year or 2 younger…. and like you said, having done it their whole life)
and of course there’s the other side of over-scheduling.
i’m sure you’ll find something they will like & help you decide. good luck!
.-= mpotter´s last blog ..language =-.
Oh I have so many opinions on this. I actually just wrote a little about it on the sports blog that I contribute to. My advice? Let them choose one thing per season, preferably through the city/recreation dept. (cheaper), and let them try a bunch of things while they are still little. They have their whole lives to ‘specialize’ in a sport if they choose to. Right now? Let them learn to have fun while getting their bodies moving. (I could go on and on, but I’ll thankfully stop here.)
.-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..Help Needed! =-.
I have a fear of becoming like my brother in law’s family: they can’t go ANYWHERE or do anything during sport seasons because between all 3 kids they have soccer or baseball games 2-3 times a day EVERY stinking weekend. I refuse to schedule myself out of a life.
But like you, I don’t want to eliminate some good physical activity and socializing out of my own fears/concerns. Arrgh. You think once they start sleeping through the night you’ve got this parenthood thing covered and then this crap pops up.
.-= Must Be Motherhood´s last blog ..A Good Feminist Hates Barbie, Right? =-.
We started at around age 4 in getting the girls involved in one activity a semester. The activity usually only lasted for that one semester, and then they were ready to try something different. I always asked them if they wanted to keep doing it before signing them up again, and never signed them up for more than a month at a time. My recommendation, like others, is to find one that’s basically for fun, as opposed to shaping the world’s. best. athelete/dancer.
My biggest caution would be against the “I paid for this, so we’re finishing no matter how awful it is for you”. (not that you said this-I’m sure this is off point and not what you’re going to do) It drives me crazy to see people making 4 year olds miserable in an effort to teach them to follow through on commitments. They’re FOUR. They are committed to NOTHING besides doing what makes them happy at any given moment, which will probably never coincide with what makes YOU happy.
Jumping down off the soapbox and getting back on topic. You’ll find what works for you guys because you clearly have your kids’ interests in mind, not your own.
.-= all things BD´s last blog ..25/365 Congrats? My Condolences? =-.
Well knowing my son, I suspect that there will be several false starts where I pay the money and then he doesn’t want to participate. And it will be okay. He’s young!
I do wonder, though, at what age should a child be encouraged/pushed/told that they must stick with something through the end. I’m really just thinking out loud for conversation sake. I ask because I wish that when I played soccer once and quit immediately, that my parents would have said that I needed to continue. Also wish that I would have encouraged to swim for more than one season. Not that I blame my parents! They were just doing what they thought was best at the time.
Yeah, that’s a good question. When to start encouraging “sticktoitiveness”. My 9yo just quit horseback riding lessons, and I hesitated to let her quit (ultimately the thought of the monetary savings helped nudge me over).
She hated the timing of the lessons, as it made her rush and hurry to get there and get the horse saddled under the teacher’s watchful eye, and she dreaded it every time.
But is that a good enough reason to quit? There were no other good alternative times after school nor are there any other nearby stables, so I let her quit. I’m wondering if it just depends on their skill and passion toward the activity. She loves horses, but she doesn’t LOOOOOOOVE horses, so why push it?
Now she wants to do ballet – for the first time in her life, and she’s 5 feet tall. That should be fun. She and Ella could be in the same class!!
.-= all things BD´s last blog ..25/365 Congrats? My Condolences? =-.
I think it’s important to get kids involved to at least test things out….but only with their interests. Growing up, I did dance, baseball, softball, soccer, gymnastics, basketball, track, piano and painting.
It really helped my parents and I to discover that I was NOT any good at contact sports. Team sports were okay….but individual and artistic things interested me most.
Having a chance at everything helped shape myself. I hope to do that with my daughter as she gets older too. She already is showing a HUGE interest in music (at a year old) and so I’m hoping to get her involved in that. She’s already playing piano with her daddy…so that’s wonderful.
It’s so hard…because you want to do right by your kids….but also don’t want them to get picked on. Parenting is not easy!
My son is just a few months younger than yours. He’s yet to be involved in any activities. He’s not in preschool *gasp*, and he hasn’t been in any organized activities outside of church.
We just got a family membership to our local YMCA. He’s exciting about starting swim lessons in a month. Then I’m thinking of getting him in a tumbling class the next term.
I’m not worried about him “having” to do these things. I think he learns so much here at home. But it’s mostly about taking advantage of the Y we have here. Plus I really need to go to workout. If I schedule him, I’m already there so I may as well get my time in.
.-= Mommy Daisy´s last blog ..Today’s the Day! =-.
You know that kids who don’t play sports end up ax murderers right??
LOL. I am with you. Not only am I completely un-athletic, but I am just not willing for it to become my life. Plus, I may be too lazy to follow through. In some regards it becomes your life. Soccer takes up whole weekends. I don’t know. We’ve done some of it and then we don’t for awhile. My kids are pretty unscheduled.
If you really want too, maybe start with finding the nearest rec center? Try Gymnastics. Pre-school gymnastics would be good for both of them. Heck, they could be in the same class at this point.
.-= Issa´s last blog ..I’d like to be this strong one day =-.
I don’t have children yet, but I know what you’re talking about when it comes to being chosen last.
My husband is the athletic one and he’s already talking about what he’d like to get our (as yet nonexistent) kids involved in. So that makes me feel better.
Also, I’m not “outdoorsy” so he’s in charge of that too. Good thing he’s an eagle scout.
Oh! Boy Scouts! Maybe Carson would like that.
Good luck!
.-= Joanna´s last blog ..Is it really Monday again? Already? =-.
I’m certain that Carson will LOVE Boy Scouts, he’s very outdoorsy. He’d love something he could do with just his dad, too.
I could have written this… I guess I better get on the phone too!
.-= Devan´s last blog ..score! =-.
we let our son start doing some things when he started kindergarten but we do limit him to stuff he really has shown genuine interest in and try very hard to not over-schedule some of these kids are crazy busy
So here’s another fun topic, hunh?
My personal opinion is that I will not be signing up either of my kids for group sports until they are 7. Something about something I read about child development in college – and being ready for organzed games like that comes later. My neice was in soccer when she was 4 and would stand on the field “waiting for her turn”. We can “play” soccer and t-ball and that stuff in our backyard. I don’t know – that said, Quinn has taken swim and ice skating lessons. I much prefer the individual stuff at this young age. Swimming is an important skill to know and well, he just likes ice skating – or rather – he likes the cookie he gets afterwards from the teacher. =)
I have been thinking of piano lessons – he’s showing an interest in music (actually talking about playing in band when he’s bigger), but I’m just not yet sold on the idea of formal music lessons – yet. Maybe after he can read? I don’t know…
I agree with you about the over-scheduling you’ve talked about in the comments. My aide at work has a JH daughter and she is in EVERYTHING. Seriously – she’s up ’til 11pm doing homework because she’s so busy. And she’s only in 6th grade.
I guess it’s hard to figure out what your child will really grab onto and do well with…
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Decisions =-.
oh, but wait. If I had a daughter She would have to be in dance class – just so I can get some adorable pictures of her in her little dance outfit! And – I enjoyed dance classes growing up…
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Decisions =-.
I do want Ella to dance for that very selfish of me reason! Of course she’ll probably hate it and I’ll spend a fortune on leotards and ballet slippers for her to wear once or twice!
Meh. It occurred to me the other day that my son is probably old enough for soccer and I should maybe think about getting him signed up for something like that. The problem is – I have things and so does my husband – that we like to do on the evenings and weekends and have no desire to be saddled for the next 18 years with an obligation to spend every free moment watching baseball/soccer/swim/gymnastics. I know, how selfish is that? All in good time I suppose.
.-= heather´s last blog ..sometimes you really can’t do it all =-.
I agree with letting them choose something that sounds fun to them. But when something clicks, you’ll know. We did soccer with Shark Boy ages 3 and 4, but when he got to Kindergarden we signed him up for the only sport offered at school for kindergardeners – cross country running. We only did it b/c it was the ionly option but it turns out the kid is a freaking amazing runner. One of the top 3 in the whole diocese in his age group. He still does some soccer and football and whatnot, but running – it’s his thing.
.-= amy2boys´s last blog ..Broiled Caesar Salmon from Kraft’s iFood Phone App =-.
I understand your fear, but don’t beat yourself up over it. If the kids want to play sports, they will naturally gravitate to them. You’ll find out soon enough if they have your genes or your husbands. Plus, they won’t be too far behind at this age. There is plenty of time to introduce them to the fundamentals of the sport. On the flip side are parents who overdo and the kid is burned out on the sport by age 13 or 14. I’ve seen much more of that these days.
We’ve tried a couple of activities, which the kiddos have so far thumbed their noses at. I figure, keep trying stuff; they’ll probably, eventually, one day find something they like. And if not, at least they’re getting practice with taking turns, not picking their nose in public, etc.
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..My Sorting Hat =-.
Yeah, that over-competitive sport thing. My kids are now 11 and 13. Both boys have been playing baseball since they were 4. My older one asked to play at 3 and we waited til the next year. He’s crazy about it and crazy good. Started football just this year as a 7th grader. Everyone said he’d be behind in that but honestly? He was the star and loved it. I can see how a kid could fall behind and not be all that good at sports but if they are really athletic, it’ll show.
The younger one played baseball at 4 and honestly, at that point, if I hadn’t pushed the issue, he wouldn’t have played. He would have been content to do nothing. He still plays baseball and enjoys it very much. It’s his only outlet.
Being in Alabama, life revolves around sports. And yeah, we can’t go anywhere from March – June due to baseball, August-November due to football.
I didn’t start dance until I was 11 and I turned out JUST FINE. Except for those crazy emotional outbursts.
.-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Mr. Hollywood =-.
I saw earlier you tweeted about people missing the point of your post (which I am guessing is this one). I hope I am not heading off base.
As a mom of a 9,9, and 7 year old I have some strong opinions on this but simply put exposing your children to some activities: swin lesson, sports, art, music, etc. is healthy and enriching but becoming obessive, overly competitive and overscheduled is not.
It is all about finding balance. One of the worst part of having three school aged children is the busyness of everyone’s schedule. I let my children choose one activity each but during soccer season with two kids in soccer, it ends up taking up 4 days a week! 4 days per week devoted to 1 activity. As my kids are getting older I am beginning to realize they enjoying PJ days at home and playing with their neighborhood friends as much as anything else.
Honestly I am looking forward to middle school when they can participate in some of these sports after school through the school.
I will also say Cub Scouts is a great choice! My son loves science, math, and reading but is not very athletic. Cub Scouts is a great alternative to sports.
I hear you! My daughter is in the Salamander level of swimming. It’s what the 3 yr olds take. She’s 5. I wanted to hold off because she just didn’t like the water. Her friends are all in the levels like Whales and Alligators. True little swimmers. My dd won’t put her face in the water! She could care less about it but I feel like I’ve failed her. We’re starting private lessons this weekend to try to get her caught up.
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I’m wondering though… how many of these kids are really super happy to be doing what they’re doing? I’d ask your kids if they have something they would like to try, then let them try it. And for the love of all that’s holy, only do one activity at a time! They are still plenty young and need the down time of being at home and being normal kids. Although normal has long gone out the window I think.
I have lots of other thoughts, but this is the main one… don’t feel pressured because other people’s kids are doing something every night of the week. That’s the parent doing that, not necessarily what the kids want to do!
Be careful, now. You want to avoid that whole parental projecting onto your kids thing.
We didn’t start Parker in T-ball until (gasp!) kindergarten. Yeah, it showed on the field when most other boys had played since they were 4. But Parker didn’t care. He had fun, he’s playing again this spring (save me) and it’s because he wants to.
Besides, look how normal you turned out!
On second thought, ENROLL THEM NOW!
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The only thing my kids do after school is Jack’s speech therapy. Sam used to do karate. Now we do nothing. I have had this exact same conversation with myself in my head many a time. I’m trying to figure out how to balance the good stuff they get from these activities with the fact that I badly don’t want to overschedule them.
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I was shocked and disbelieving when all of the moms started telling me if I didn’t pick activities and get the girls involved by the time they were 3 (or 4 at the outside) they would be seriously behind. Really? WTH?
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When my kids were smaller, we tried to sign them up for classes and they usually got cancelled. Or were when we were working so that was a no go.
Now, my daughter takes karate and swimming at the Y once a week and Girl Scouts and Indian Pricesses is only a couple times a month.
My son take swimming and soccer at the Y once a week and Pioneers meets very rarely.
I asked them what they want to try and if they don’t like it after one session, we move on.
there is no shame in not having them in activities. My kids are underscheduled compared to most of their friends. And it works out fine
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I do know what you mean. It really does feel like if you don’t start them early, they will be behind. I guess letting them try things out works. That way you will know if they are in or out. I have two that are in and one that is out. To each his own!
My 5 year-old has been doing soccer and hockey and science and art and gymnastics with the park district for a couple of years now. He also takes a private piano lesson for 1/2 hour per week. But! He only does one or two classes at a time, and by no means more than two 45 minute classes per week (plus piano on Saturdays). If we do more than one class a week I try to make one “learney” or “artsy” and one physical. I don’t do it because I am worried about his athletic ability or art ability or fill-in-the-blank. I do it because I think he wants the chance to play with other kids more (we are not playdate people and they’re not in preschool), and because *GASP* he loves it. If he didn’t love it, we wouldn’t go back. We’ve tried a bunch of things and now he’s got a good frame of reference to tell me what he wants to do. “Q, hockey, soccer, or t-ball?” and he tells me what he enjoys and we do it.
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If you have access to an “Upward” program at a local church I would check that out. It’s a great, no pressure way to get started that emphasizes teamwork, skill building and sportsmanship.
It is a Christian program but not overly preachy – they do get a bible verse to learn each week at practice and they just discuss it the next week for 5 minutes or so and they are very universal non-judgy verses. People from various churches and synagogues play at our church with no controversy.
Our church does soccer in the fall and basketball/cheer in the winter but I think some have a football program also. They start at age 4 and go through about 10.
http://www.upward.org/
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I totally know that panic feeling. Sometimes I dread discussions with other moms because I know I will discover something I am not doing that I should be if they are to get into the Ivy League school or professional soccer team they were destined to be on…any my daughter is only 9 MONTHS OLD!
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You had me laughing out loud about your phone phobia. That is so me. I am currently in a quandry about kindergarten/preschool for next year, and much of the debate could be resolved if I would just pick up the phone and schedule a few visits. The innate shyness that I’ve worked to overcome my whole life comes raging back, and I’m reminded I have to keep working on it so that I can keep my kids involved in the world.
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Oh, Jen, your kids are still so young. Let them be kids. That’s what you bought them bikes for, right? Before youknow it, you’ll be taking them to scouts and dance and soccer and piano lessons and tutoring and you won’t have time to even sit down for one of your gourmet meals.
Seriously, let them guide you. If they want to play sports, they’ll tell you. Or ask, and let them say yes or no. Sports are fun, but they don’t make a kid who they are. You and Tate do that. And I’m sure you’re doing a great job so far on that.
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..School Daze =-.
Don’t let the pressure build up, let your kids be kids and it doesn’t mean they need something ultra structure and competitive.
You know what, life is hectic as it is.
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/
OMG i have got to get my girls playing something now. I can give you hope. I did nothing sports until 1st grade as a child and am now running triathlons.
still, my girls are 4 and 2 and it seems time to get them involved.
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Bah. Ask THEM if/what they want to do. My 6yo has played soccer for 2 falls and last spring played t-ball. My 4yo played soccer for the first time last fall. They both took a community center kid-kwan-do class in the winter. Right now? Nothing.
The thing we made sure of though, is that if they DO want to do something, they are in it for the season. Once the choice is made, they have to stick with it.
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Jennifer-
I don’t have time to read all the comments but PLEASE don’t think you’re alone and that your kids are getting left behind! They’re so young!! I have kids almost the same age and we’ve only done a little soccer clinic for Drew and he was already 5. You have PLENTY of time.
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My kids are still really young IMHO. 6,4, and 2. I signed them up for swimming in the summer and intend on doing so again this summer. I won’t be signing them up for anything during the school year due to lack of time at home for playing with friends and being with family. If they want to do something different than swimming in the summer, I’m good with that. But honestly, I don’t have funds for more than one activity for each kid.
I saw an earlier comment about being a single parent and trying to juggle your kids activities and i couldn’t agree more. I try to get my 2 children to try as many sports, and other activities to be sure they find the one that best suits them. I also try to make sure none of them over lap one another.
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Don’t panic too much! Just take it one step at a time. Why not sit down with your kids, have several options ready, and let them decide which one they want to try? That way you have them committed to what they’re going to do. Good luck
When I was about 5, I took ballet and tap for about 2 or 3 months when my mom’s car broke down and I couldn’t go anymore. Other than that, I didn’t participate in any sports until I was 10. I was really bad at them for the first year or two, since the other kids had a “head start” on me, but by the time I was 12, I was super competitive and did very well. My mom made me try a different sport each “season” when I was in 5th grade to find what I liked. I ended up with volleyball and softball, and by the time I was a teenager I lived for volleyball. I don’t feel like I missed out because I didn’t start when I was 4. I actually think I enjoyed it more because it was something I chose and wasn’t burnt out.
Charity did a ballet class for 10 weeks through the community center here last year (VERY laid back and low key), but other than that, she hasn’t been involved in anything and I don’t plan on signing her up for anything until she shows an interest in doing something. I want her to play sports because I had so much fun doing it, but I won’t make her do it until she wants to. Everything is competitive enough without pressure from me!