Whenever we go out to eat with the kids, I usually check out the kids menu and offer them two of the choices. I purposely don’t tell them if there is peanut butter and jelly on the menu because 1) they can eat that at home and do nearly everyday, 2) I know that if I mention peanut butter and jelly, the kids will not want ANYTHING ELSE offered and 3) restaurant peanut butter and jelly is 450 times messier* than what I serve at home. (*in a non-clinical study, 3 out of 4 parents agree!)
I guess I’ve slacked in this area of husband training because somehow Tate didn’t realize that I had such strong feelings against restaurant peanut butter and jelly. As he was reading the menu choices to the kids, I was trying to get his attention with lots of throat clearing, adamantly nodding my head “NOOOOO!”, and I was shooting lasers out of my eyes into his forehead.
Sadly, the children had peanut butter and jelly for dinner and I went home covered with little jelly handprints.
I agree! I have gone so far as to ask them to bring me the bread and the peanut butter and the jelly and let me put it together. I get eye rolls, but I don’t care.
That’s when you say “Oh no, guys! The waitress told me that they are all out of PBJs!”
You have no idea how many times I’ve come home from a restaurant NOT covered in maple syrup because darn it, the restaurant was ALL OUT of pancakes and even though their (moron) daddy ordered pancakes, they only have ADULT pancakes, not KID pancakes.
I am a liar and I will not be ashamed of it.
.-= Karly´s last blog ..Bacon and Cheddar Scones =-.
OH I’m not at all above lying to my children. We just happen to be a phase with wee Ella that had we said that PB & J wasn’t available AFTER she heard about it, I would have probably had to take her flailing and screaming body to the car.
I swear they use half a jar of peanut butter and half a jar of jelly on those restaurant PBJs. On the other hand, my kids’ mouths are so sticky while they’re eating, they aren’t capable of screaming/yelling/complaining. =>
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Where the Ladybug Sleeps =-.
Yes! They use SO MUCH that it falls out everywhere. So annoying.
Wait until they learn to read.
.-= Stimey´s last blog ..I [Emoticon] You. (LOL) =-.
My son can already pick out a few words, but so far hasn’t mastered peanut, butter, or jelly. I’m screwed in a few years.
You forgot the fourth reason: Because the restaurant PB&J costs seven dollars for approximately 50 cents worth of peanut butter and 37 cents worth of jelly. But maybe they use really expensive bread.
.-= dusty earth mother´s last blog ..The Miracle of the Underpants =-.
…really expensive bread that the kids HATE and therefore won’t eat…so I guess I forgot the fourth AND fifth reason!
That’s men for you! You have to spell these things out to em!
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..A photo I’m actually happy with! =-.
OK, Karly’s comment made me LOL!
I was just thinking of weird it is that I have 3 kids and only one will (sometimes) eat PB&J, but only at home. After reading this, perhaps this is a blessing! Chicken-and-french fries are at least a little neater.
.-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: The Art Show =-.
and also, paying 4 dollars for PB&J just feels sticky.
.-= designHer Momma´s last blog .."I Learned it from Watching You" =-.
Don’t forget about the menus that show pictures of the menu items. No need to read those…
.-= kj @ Where my boys at?´s last blog ..Bedtime cuties =-.
This is one reason we won’t eat at Chili’s. They have picture menus for kids that include a red or blue drink. Both kids have meltdowns from the sugar highs if we let them get those drinks, or meltdowns if we DON’T let them get those drinks.
once stella WANTED SO BADLY the mac and cheese and i was super frustrated because … hello? … $5 for a pack of easy mac? and then a friend reminded me … it’s not $5 for a pack of easy mac … it’s $5 for your sanity. ah. much better.
my husband didn’t feel the lasers the other night while reading the ENTIRE book that i usually just skim through because it’s entirely TOO MANY WORDS. (and annoying). and now? i’m screwed for enternity because they now know the actual book. looks like that one is getting donated accidently.
.-= jen´s last blog ..could someone remind me why i know this? =-.
YES! Oh this drives me INSANE. I hide the books that my children have learned actually have more than 10 words thanks to my husband.
My husband KNOWS to leave kid at restaurant food option discussions to me. One of the smarter things he does.
; )
Ahhh, thank you for the reminder to be thankful my daughter is still in the stage where I can convince her that grilled chicken and veggies is ALL THEY OFFER AT THIS RESTAURANT!
It takes some serious Man Powers to ignore the Wife Laser Beam Eyes. Like, woah. Make sure that man of yours never provides any training on that, please and thank you.
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..Olympic Dreams =-.
I used to have to talk over waiters trying to suggest my kids consider something off the children’s menu; they’d have eaten real food from the adult menu as long as they didn’t know chicken fingers were available. Now I’m sunk — they can read.
.-= feefifoto´s last blog ..Where Have I Been Hiding? =-.
You are rarely wrong or misled. But this time? I think so. Want to know why?
Cuz I just found 4 moms who agree…so I think it’s 4 out of 4!
lol
Also…I have to agree with just about every single comment…the PB&J bugs me too, I never tell them that they can have anything I make regularly at home…because honestly? what’s the point. I don’t have to make it, but still! So…where was I going with this…Oh, yeah! I remember.
Thank you for always posting things that make me nod emphatically with agreement!
xoxo
.-= Dana´s last blog ..Opposites Day =-.
Other good husband moves include:
* Saying to your kids as he is about to leave for a business trip, “I bet mom will take you outside to play in the snow.” Yes, I am eight months pregnant and can’t zip my coat, but I would love to do that.
* Saying to your kids before a planned trip to Florida (three hours away from Orlando) to visit his parents, “Maybe we can go to Disney World one day and see Mickey.” Yes, because that’s how I want to do Disney, as a day trip, when I am tired and pregnant.
.-= mep´s last blog ..And now it’s time for a couples skate. =-.
Ha, ha, ha, oh yes! My husband will suggest that I take them out to play or let them help make cookies or something that is a whole lot of work. It drives me so crazy.
You know, we just really don’t even attempt to go out to eat with our whole crazy crew very often because it. is. never. fun. Ever. We can do ChickFilA. We can do Applebees. And Pizza Hut. That’s it. I will never again eat at these three restaurants when our children are older.
But PBJ? I’m so with you…
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..A Day of Gratitude =-.
Next time you go out make sure that Tate isn’t wearing his laser repelling suit.
.-= Heather-Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Joy through their Eyes Part II =-.
Oh I’ve been there. My hubby does stuff like that too. Dur.
And pb&j doesn’t make sense to me at a restaurant either.
.-= Kat´s last blog ..I Never =-.
TOTALLY AGREE! I hate when we go to a restaurant and mac’ n cheese is on the menu for $4.99… and it’s FREAKING KRAFT FROM A BOX. That I could make at home for a dollar. So I don’t tell Maggie they have mac ‘n cheese at those places- and if Dan ever slipped, I’d be kicking his shins under the table.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..OH THE HUMANITY =-.
Going to a restaurant with kids is rarely the “treat” it’s intended to be. Our last pizza date with the two toddlers was wildly successful, so we’re going to wait a loooong time before doing it again so we can hold on to the memory of them actually eating and not melting down over having to stay seated.
Bet your husband will remember the PB&J thing from now on, at least.
.-= Deb´s last blog ..Let’s Disqus =-.
I hate ordering kids meals. My husband usually ignores my death laser rays too. If he mentions french fries, that is all they will consume. I have no idea why we pay for chicken or burgers or whatever…the only thing they want is fries because they are such a special treat.
.-= Michelle Smiles´s last blog ..Paint w/Booze! =-.
My husband knows the lasers… I try not to shoot them too often, but they have been visible more than I would like lately.
Tonight at the local burger joint, my husband decided it was time to introduce our ten-month old daughter to french fries. Hmmm, I think we could have waited a little longer on that one…especially the fry sauce.
.-= Alecia @ Hoobing Family Adventures´s last blog ..Happy Ten Months =-.
The story of my life. Seriously. I can’t count how many times something like this has happened, and, of course, I’m seen as the drill sargeant. We went shopping recently and M asked for M&Ms. I told her we’d get them in a bit. She never mentioned them again, so we’re in the car, ready to leave and Joe said, out loud, “Aren’t we going to get M her M&Ms?” Are you kidding me? The kid didn’t ask about the candy, but you ask me out loud, making sure she can hear? Smooth…
I could go on. And on…
.-= LZ´s last blog ..97 Years Young =-.