Today was Pajama Day at school and I just plain overlooked the reminders that came home with BOTH kids on Friday. I finally realized it was Pajama Day as we sat in the drop off line before school and saw all the kids going in the building wearing their pajamas and fuzzy slippers. Of course, I deflected all blame and swore up and down to my kids that it wasn’t that I messed up, but it was that the teachers didn’t include it on their Friday notes. And of course, when I got home the first thing I did was re-read the notes home from both teachers on Friday and saw that, yep, they’d both said that today was Pajama Day at school.
Crap. (I actually said something a little worse.) (And I took pjs up to school for the kids to change into because I knew it would make their days.)
Last week, I published a post on my local family website that had completely inaccurate information. Not only was I MORTIFIED at my error, I was also completely ticked off at myself for not double checking my work and allowing a huge error to be published.
I’ve been just a little overwhelmed lately. By lately, I mean, for the past year. Somehow I’ve not quite mastered balancing this whole working thing with getting stuff done at home thing. Every Sunday night I absolutely dread the week, knowing how much there is to accomplish between writing assignments, homework, gymnastics, soccer, cooking dinner, laundry…well, you get the picture.
I waited seven years to send both kids off to school. I dreamed about the freedom I’d feel with all those hours to myself. It’s not really like what I was expecting. Homework, school volunteering, and after school activities are so time consuming. During those hours that the kids are in school, I try to work, but now that we got a puppy, there isn’t any uninterrupted time for me to work. I’m constantly taking the puppy out to go potty, playing with the puppy, rushing to get errands run to get home to the puppy, rushing to write posts that have errors in them before I have to take the puppy outside again…
Tate reminded me the other day that I don’t have to do all of the things that I take on. It’s my choice to work, which yeah, I realize that I’m BEYOND lucky that it’s my choice, but I still do feel like I have to work. I feel like I should help earn money, I feel like “just” doing mom stuff isn’t enough (this is not a jab at stay at home moms, just how I feel about myself, okay!?), I feel like I’ve started some things that I don’t know how to stop. I even made a list of what I do everyday in order of importance.
1. Kids (and remembering things like freaking Pajama Day. GAH.), Husband, Mae
2. Running
3. Friends
4. Laundry/Cooking/Grocery Shopping
…
There were 19 things on my list. Several of the things, like “Friends” are high on my priority list, but actually rank a lot lower in the time I actually devote to them. Then, the last four things on the list are things I’d like to just quit, but I don’t know how to just quit, because just quitting isn’t that simple (of course, it’s not).
Sooooo, I’m not actually going anywhere with this, but I just needed to say it. In writing. Something’s got to give, but I don’t know how to give up.
I have been in the SAME mental frame this week. Last week I wondered why I get myself so distraught over things that aren’t MUSTS. I don’t have any answers for you. I’m spinning my wheels over here. (Oops. Must head out the door to read to the kindergartners – which I love. But the middle of the day! Why? Oh, for the kids benefit, yes, I know. But then I get nothing accomplished! But isn’t reading the kiddos accomplishing something? Yes! But not on my to-do list.
Hey, am I rambling? Yes, I think I am. My daughter got up and got dressed last night at 2:20 thinking it was 5:50. I have had no sleep to add to my ever growing to do list that is trying to kill me.
Hang in there.
Maybe you were rambling, but that’s exactly how my mind works! I understand!
That’s kind of funny about your daughter. I mean it will eventually be funny when you’ve had some sleep.
I have felt–I DO feel–exactly the same. And whenever I complain, people always advise me to give up the things that I WANT to do, the things that give me pleasure.
I am overwhelmed almost all the time, and dreading things, like you are, and thinking to myself that life can’t be supposed to be this way. No answers here, just empathy.
Leslie´s last [type] ..The Exception that Proves the Rule
Yes! It’s been suggested that I give up running or other things I really love to do–the things that are all mine. Rarely does anyone say, hey, get a housekeeper or quit one of your jobs….
I also feel like life isn’t supposed to be this way, too, but everyone I talk to has the same life as me.
that sounds incredibly frustrating.
i hope you’ll soon find your groove. you’ll stay with what gives you balance. and fun.
and you’ll see that you can silently end things that are just too much.
i hope that day comes soon.
enjoy the things you can- while you can!
mae will keep you on your toes (ha!)
mpotter´s last [type] ..envy
She totally keeps us on our toes, or rather we have to keep our toes hidden or she’ll bite them!
Also, I’m trying to silently give up at least one of the things on my list and hoping it just goes away!
Sorry your feeling so overwhelmed. Ya know what I gave up? My puppy! Not saying that’s the right choice for you, of course, but something had to give at our house too and he was sadly at the bottom of almsot everyone’s list. He’s got a happy new home now so it worked out well for everyone. You’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t for you. Life goes by way to quickly, don’t waste time dreading your weeks when you can change it
Oh, I’ve thought about giving up the puppy or sending it away until it’s trained. But. We gave away 2 dogs a few years ago and I just really want the puppy thing to work this time!
But you’re right, life does go by too quickly. I do need to give up those things on the bottom of my list.
I feel I could write an essay to you about my thoughts on this, but one of them that helped me is…hire a cleaning person! You will love it. I only have her every two weeks, but what I get back is huge, my time, my marriage, and not so much guilt about doing fun things. Also a big paper calendar helped me with things like PJ day. I work at the school and forget stuff like that!! How embarrassing! Hang in there!
I’ll have to tell you a story about why my husband will never allow us to hire a cleaner sometime! I’d LOVE help in that area, though!
Hugs mama!
Thanks! How ARE you?!
It’s hard to find the right balance. When my (only) child started school last year, the questions started. “Are you looking for a job?” “What will you DO all day without a kid to take care of?” etc. I found out VERY quickly how busy my life is. The kid may be at school, but I still have my same responsibilities plus through in all the school volunteering and extra curriculars involved. Now when people ask I can say with confidence, “You know, I’m actually busier now than I was before.” Plus now that there’s another baby on the way, I think people will keep their mouths shut. And I’ll have to wait another 6 years before I get a quiet house for a short time each day.
Hang in there. You’ll find a balance. The beginning of the school year is always toughest.
Mommy Daisy´s last [type] ..Testing Fun
First of all, how exciting about the new baby!!
And I love your reply about being busier. I’m going to steal it.
You know, sometimes just saying it out loud makes it easier. It does for me. And definitely don’t give up running or you stuff, or you won’t have anything to give to anyone else. You need that time to regenerate, refresh, renew and other re words.
It’s taken me a while to reply, but you’re right. I shouldn’t give up the things I love or I won’t have anything to give my family.
Ah, shit happens. Don’t sweat it. I like your idea of listing priorities and then seeing how much time is spent on those priorities. I know my list would be way off! Hang in there, chica!
Kate @ zMOMbie.com´s last [type] ..Simplifying the Toy Clutter and Reviving Interest
I know I shouldn’t sweat it, but if I’m going to drop the ball, I hate it when it’s something that everyone can see!
I think a lot of us are way too hard on ourselves. But, I get it and I have those things on my list that I should just let go/quit/drop too.
anymommy´s last [type] ..A million little pieces
This is the endless loop that runs in my mind. I want to do ALL THE THINGS but I want do to ALL THE THINGS WELL and, man, that’s just impossible. I think I’ve accepted that sometimes I’ll feel lousy at all of it and like I’m always playing catch-up and other times I’ll feel kind of awesome, like I’m a rockstar. I know it ebbs and flows, so I ride out the low times.
(I also find that I can’t do anything without notes. I write notes all day, every day. I keep paper almost everywhere and then add everything to a master list at night. My memory can’t be trusted anymore.)
All that to say, I GET IT. I am right there with you.
This has totally been a rockstar week for me and I’m totally going to ride this for as long as possible. Next week, though…well, I’ll remember I can’t do ALL THE THINGS well.
Right here with you, my friend.
Elaine´s last [type] ..Toddler Times
Saying things out loud and having a clearing with a friend to just get it out there definitely helps. I always try to pick my intention/goal for the day and when I lose sight of things, I always pause to remember what I had set for the day and it keeps me straight.
I’ve actually started doing that. I put the most important thing at the top of my to-do list and make sure it’s the thing that definitely gets done for the day.
I feel your pain. I’ve been there (many, many times). Hang in there! And things will get better with the puppy, I promise. Everyone kept telling me that when we decided to bring a puppy into our crazy lil’ life last year and there were times that I just refused to believe it, but – like clockwork – he calmed way the heck down once he turned 1 and life got a bit easier. I know, 1. It seems like forever from now, but it’ll get here before you know it.
Hilary´s last [type] ..Snapshot
A year?!?! Actually, she gets slightly better everyday. I almost like her now, which is a huge improvement about how I felt about her last week.
I FINALLY had time to sit down and read your post and it’s because, well…exactly what you wrote! I started a second website this year because I knew both kids would be in school full-time (finally) and I could do more. But I feel overwhelmed every single day. I can’t seem to balance my writing, the piled up laundry, the errands, the school volunteer time (and we always give our time because, you know, we are “stay at home moms”), the activities, the homework, the cooking, and ahh! I go to bed every night exhausted and wondering why I can’t seem to balance it all. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone! (And I can’t imagine having a puppy too!)
Pam´s last [type] ..Daniel’s 6th Birthday Bowling Party
Since I wrote this, I’ve actually quit one job and gave up another responsibility. I’m also making a to do list every night before I go to bed and I make sure to prioritize what needs to be done each day. It’s really helped to tackle one day a week and to (try) not to worry about the less important things that don’t get done each day.
Hope it gets easier soon and that you can find balance.
It’s so freaking good to have the blog to vent to, no?
Maggie S.´s last [type] ..Friday for Fiction: Reclamation Order
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