haiku friday | Playgroups are No Place For Children

Fess up to your wee Internet addiction

Written on June 20, 2008 by Jennifer in confession, haiku friday

The laptop’s open
all day. I check my email
and listen for *dings*

Sitting there, I tell
myself, only ten minutes
One hour passes

It’s time to let it all hang out folks. I’m going to tell you my deepest, darkest secret (well, technically I already did in the haiku, but I have LOTS more to say).

I spend way too much time during my days online. I try, really I do, to limit my time online. Some days, like the days I’m not at home and absolutely have NO ACCESS to my computer, I am able to curb my time online.

But then…then there are the days we don’t have any plans. And I tell myself to just shut off the computer. But I don’t, of course I DON’T. Instead, I will leave the laptop open and watch as emails come in and listen for the twhirl dings and answer emails and reply to tweets and click tinyurls, and see something shiny in someone’s comments section, and discover a new blog crush, stumble a post (or twenty) and get another few emails, and answer them and suddenly it’s an hour (or more**shhhhh**) later. My kids are usually right there, it’s not like they’re running around naked, hanging from the ceiling fans (but that’s only because they can’t undress themselves and we have vaulted ceilings.) Laundry stays in the washer, dishes remain in the sink covered in drying Rice Crispies, eventually impossible to clean, and my floors stay unswept.

It’s bad. The thing is, though, I really, really, really enjoy replying to emails. I love checking out the links on twitter. I LOVE all my precious online endeavors.

In my defense, I do spend a lot of time with my kids. We go places, we go for walks, we have playdates, we play with play-doh, we have picnics. I just feel a little guilty for letting them fend for themselves some of the time, even though I don’t believe I have to entertain and feed their spongy brains every waking minute. But still.

How much time do you spend online and how does it affect your daily tasks? I’m especially curious about those of you who work at jobs and manage to do your Internet activities at work. Well, to be honest, I’m also especially curious about those of you who stay home like me and ignore your children balance your Internet time with the demands of your kiddos.

FESS UP.

I feel the urge to remind people of my comment policy…

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST. Seriously.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

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Hair Update

Written on June 13, 2008 by Jennifer in haiku friday, my hawt body, Pictures, Quirky Me

Just like Hair Thursday
Here’s an update on my hair
I STILL love it so

Thanks Whoorl and YOU
I’m so glad I went for it
Makes me feel sass-ay!

This picture was taken at the end of a very hot, muggy day AND a day that I hadn’t even washed it. Now THAT is a testament to the sheer awesomeness of my hair. I do have to blow dry and flat-iron it everyday, but since it ends up actually looking good, I don’t mind fixing it everyday. With the shorter length and bangs, I have to get it cut more often. That’s not exactly a punishment since that just means I get to leave my house WITHOUT CHILDREN more often, so score 2 bonus points for me!

If you have an Aveda salon in your city, I’d HIGHLY recommend checking it out. You get a mini-massage before every haircut, and if you’re getting your hair colored you get a FOOT MASSAGE! Heaven! In case you happen to live in the same town as me, go see Kortney at our local Aveda salon.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

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Prepare to be underwhelmed…elmed…elmed…elmed

Written on June 6, 2008 by Jennifer in blogging, haiku friday

Battling over
computer time. Work or blogs?
What’s more important?

Tate needed the computer to finish an end of the month report for work last night (Um?? hello…the end of the month was DAYS ago) and I needed to write a haiku.

I think it’s obvious what’s MORE pressing. Unfortunately I lost, so this is the lame and rushed haiku I have for today. Boo.

**cue announcer’s voice, now with bonus echoing!**

Next week..eek..eek…eek! Our theme…eme…eme…eme!

Hair…air…air…air!

Have fun…un…un…un!

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

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Excuse Me While I “Scratch” My Balls and Pee All Over the Toilet Seat

Written on May 30, 2008 by Jennifer in haiku friday, Men?, playing along

Thanks to Neil from Citizen of the Month for this week’s Haiku Friday theme…Write like the opposite sex. Mine is full of cliches and stereotypes! Enjoy!

E.S.P.N. time
Sit back, relax, *SEX*, drink beer
Is my wife talking?

Damn! “Pick up my socks!”
All she does *SEX* is nag me
I’ll just ignore her

*SEX* I’m sure hungry
Maybe if I whine enough
Wife will bring me snacks

I work HARD all day
Can’t the kids play somewhere else?
I sure am horny

Look at Wife folding
*SEX* laundry. I should grope her!
What?! What did I do?!

Oh great. Now she’s pissed.
Can’t I get some affection?
She used to be fun.

*SEX* Women’s soccer!
They should take their clothes off *SEX*
Why’s Wife mad again?????

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

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You Shouldn’t Be Reading This

Written on May 29, 2008 by Jennifer in haiku friday, Pictures, playing along

It’s supposed to be 82 degrees today! FIN-A-LLY! Buh-bye cold, icky weather!

I’m going to be outside today enjoying the weather!!! I swear that if I find out that you were sitting at your computer reading this drivel, I’m going to be MAD! Well actually, I’d be flattered, but seriously…GO AWAY. Go enjoy the weather while it’s not too hot.

Go.

Oooh, but wait…one more thing. Christina and I have a theme for tomorrow’s Haiku Friday! Neil at Citizen of the Month is asking people to write like the opposite sex tomorrow. He’s even having a contest and I KNOW you all LOVE contests! So that’s our theme:

Write like the opposite sex day! This will be fun, don’t you think? You certainly don’t have to write your haiku in this theme to participate in Haiku Friday tomorrow, but if you don’t you’ll make Ella cry.

Look how happy she is! Wouldn’t you feel bad if you made her cry?

Now GO. Click that little red X in the corner and enjoy life outside of your computer! See that yellow orb in the sky? It’s called the SUN.

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S*exing It Up With Carmen Electra

Written on May 23, 2008 by Jennifer in haiku friday, my hawt body, photoshop fun

Trying something new
Carmen Electra’s striptease
instead of yoga

Seductive moves and
bedroom eyes to tone my arse
I felt like a tool

It is now clear that
stripping is not my calling
I am no Carmen

Yesterday I decided that instead of spending the children’s nap time on the computer, I would work out. Flipping through the exercise video choices on On Demand, I stumbled across Carmen Electra’s “Fit to Strip” workout. To be honest, I had actually seen it before, and wanted to try it out, but felt too silly. Since no one would be watching I decided to coax out my inner stripper.

It didn’t go so well.

First of all, I didn’t have the proper attire, perky boobs, or pigtails.

Even though no one could see me, I felt like a complete jackass doing these moves. I embarrassed myself.

“Now it’s time for body rolls!” Carmen exclaimed. Yeah, that’s what I need. MORE body rolls! Whee!

“Let’s sex it up!” she encouraged. Let’s not. HOW EMBARRASSING.

Also. Beans for lunch before a “strenuous” workout. Bad idea. And NOT sexy.

(I’m totally kidding about the last part. That NEVER happened. *ahem*)

Note to self: Workouts would be more efficient if the majority of the time wasn’t spent pausing the TV, taking pictures and giggling at my own jokes.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

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The Line Forms Here

Written on May 16, 2008 by Jennifer in haiku friday, Pictures

.[picture removed]

Quite the helpful boy
Offered to clean up spilled milk
Husband in training

Yesterday, after having just mopped the floor, Ella purposely dropped her sippy cup FULL of very expensive organic milk, which promptly spilled and left a huge mess for me to clean up.

I spend the majority of my days wondering if my son has been possessed by a teenage premenstral girl with all of his irrational tanturms and drama. Sometimes, however, Carson’s female characteristics suit him well. After seeing the spilled milk, his womanly intuition told him that Mommy was very angry (or maybe, just maybe, he heard me cursing under my breath and saw my eyes nearly bulge out of my head, and heard my fists pound on the countertop…either way).

“It’s otay, Mommy. Tawson twean it up!” [Carson clean it up.]

I watched in awe as he searched for his play vacuum cleaner. (“Batuum?? Batuum?? [vacuum] Where are you??” Could you just die from the cuteness!) Proudly he brought it into the kitchen and began “vacuuming” the area around Ella’s high chair.

Looking very proud, he said, “Mommy not andwy [angry]! All twean!”

Everybody together now….”Aaaaaaah!”

I’m willing to begin taking applications for those interested in being his future wife. The line forms here.

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