Today is Tate’s 25th* birthday! I know that people who have Christmas babies swear that they’ll always take care to separate Christmas from the birthday, present and attention wise. When I married Tate, I even told myself that I’d never fall into the habit of glossing over his birthday so close to Christmas, or tell him that his Christmas present was also his birthday gift.  Merry Christmas AND Happy Birthday!  Sorry I’m too cheap to get you another gift, sucker!

So here I sit feeling guilty this December 29th because the Christmas gift I bought for him also counts as his birthday gift. It was a really expensive gift, though, and my PayPal account is now empty. So…

I like for people to fuss over me on my birthday, make like it’s an important day. Maybe that makes me silly or childish, but I like feeling that I’m special to other people.

As much as I complain about my husband, he is a pretty good guy.  Actually, he’s a really good guy.  I wish that putting Christmas together didn’t overwhelm me, then drain me of my enthusiasm to celebrate.

I will make him carne asada for dinner and Ella is going to whip up a delicious Devil’s food whoopie pie with her Easy Bake Oven. He’ll open his card from me and maybe if I can convince the kids to sit down long enough, they’ll even draw him a picture or color something for him from their SpongeBob or My Little Pony coloring books.

Maybe his present could be that I won’t complain even once about what he chooses to watch on TV tonight.

Happy birthday, Tate. I’m sorry I stink at post-Christmas birthdays.

*He’s not really 25.  Let’s just pretend, okay?  It’s just that every year that HE gets older means that I also get older.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Before I can really tell you anything specific about Disney, I need to give you a little back story on the dynamics of my family.  We are not exactly the best at getting along, particularly in slightly stressful situations (travel, crowds, trying something new…).  Tate and I snip at one another, I hate to use this word-but it’s the truth-we snip at one another CONSTANTLY when we’re stressed.  Our kids have always been the type of kids to throw tantrums, even in the tamest circumstances, let alone on an exhausting five day trip to Disney World complete with late nights and crabby parents.  You should go out to dinner with us sometime. We are SO MUCH FUN to hang around.

Then there’s my control freak tendencies.  Since I did the majority of the planning for the trip, I felt the entire weight of responsibility that everything MUST go well on the trip.  Reservation glitches, weather, the kids behavior, wait times at restaurants-all things that I can’t actually control-I knew I’d feel defensive if things weren’t going just as I’d planned.

These are things that I worried about this before the trip.  I wanted it to be perfect.  I didn’t want US to be the reason that the trip was a flop.

Something truly miraculous happened.  Maybe Disney pumps magical, calming pixie dust into the air, or they spike our drinks with xanax, I DON’T KNOW, but (almost) everything about our trip was PERFECT.  We all behaved and got along well and had the best time we’ve ever had together as a family.

Every night, the kids were visited by the Fairy Godmother, who left them a little gift.  (This idea came from my dental hygienist!  They know more than just teeth cleaning!) The kids ate this up and loved finding little gifts every morning.  Before we left, I went to the Disney store at the mall and bought a few little items and some gift cards so they’d have their own money to spend at the parks.  I wrote about how we told the kids about the trip, complete with their first visit from the Fairy Godmother at Southern By Proxy.  This part wasn’t really magical at all.

Here’s a rundown of everyday of our vacation, the FOOD! The PARADES! The FUN, all the MAGIC!  I know this is long, but I just wanted to do a one and done post, rather than a series of posts. Okay?

Saturday

We arrived at our resort, the Wilderness Lodge, and it was POURING rain.  The entire seven story lobby was filled with families playing board games, children coloring and hula hooping, families sitting in front of the large fire place, rocking back and forth in the rocking chairs.  It was like something out of a movie.

Our room had a great view of the lake and woods, the kids were SO EXCITED that our room had bunk beds.  We unpacked, then headed back to the lobby where Carson LITERALLY (yes, LITERALLY) hula hooped for two hours.  TWO HOURS.  Ella bounced from activity to activity, many led by Disney staff, coloring and playing games.  After TWO HOURS,  we finally convinced Carson to go back up to the room to relax before dinner.

We had reservations at 7:50 at our resort’s sit down restaurant, Whispering Canyon Cafe.  This was the only place that we had to wait a long time (45 minutes) to be seated. By the time we were seated the kids were exhausted (HULA HOOPING!  TWO HOURS), but our server was sweet and did her best to be quick.  The food was fabulous.  Since we got the free Disney Dining Plan promotion, we were also entitled to dessert.  They boxed up our caramel apple pies because we were too full and too tired to eat anything else.

Sunday

I checked the weather forecast for Orlando and it called for rain every single day of our trip.  100% chance.

So we bought, or rather invested in, some ponchos and boarded the bus for Magic Kingdom.

“We’re going to have fun, it doesn’t matter if it rains,” Tate said.  This?  Coming from Tate, Mr. Pessimistic?  Proof of magical pixie dust?

We had breakfast reservations for Crystal Palace, a character meal with Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, and Piglet.  The food was all great, the kids LOVED their chocolate Mickey Mouse waffles that were basically brownies.  Brownies for breakfast!  It’s Disney World so it’s OKAY!  Carson and Ella were excited to meet the characters and get their autograph books signed.  They characters did a little Friendship Day dance that was a little lame, but it was sweet.

The first thing we’d planned to do right after breakfast was to get a stroller and get a “1st visit” badge, but it was raining SO HARD.  Ella saw Cinderella’s castle and desperately wanted to go there, so we just bypassed the stroller and badges and headed through the nearly blinding rain straight for the castle.

But we were all HAPPY.  The rain was annoying, yes, but we were standing right in front of Cinderella’s castle!  And then there were all these great rides!  The carousel, It’s a Small World, and the Peter Pan ride.  I never want to forget standing in line, Tate’s hand in the small of my back, looking at each other and silently saying, “This is perfect, isn’t it?”

We loved how most of the lines and rides were all covered so we didn’t have to stand in the rain.  As the day went on, the sun even came out a few times.  The whole day was spent riding rides and our favorite was the Buzz Lightyear ride.  We also stumbled upon a parade and got a front row view.  It was just amazing, the float and characters were so much fun to watch.

After a mid afternoon rest back in our room, we went back to Magic Kingdom for the Electric parade (AWESOME) and fireworks show (Also, AWESOME.  What we weren’t expecting was the movie they played on the facade of the castle.  It brought tears to my eyes.  The kids were really tired so we were holding them and somehow I ended up holding Carson.  My arms and back were on fire, but during the show, he hugged me and gave me a kiss.  Aw man, that right there was worth every penny spent on the vacation.

This was one of the very best days of my life.

Monday

Monday was Hollywood Studios day and the rain had miraculously stopped.  As directed by Shelly, our fantastic travel agent, we got there before they opened and headed straight to the Toy Story ride.  Tate didn’t really get that all those people around us, THOUSANDS of people, were all heading to the exact same place.  He kept checking the map and saying, “yes, this is the right way.”  I kept saying, “Yes, it is.  I think ALL of these people are going to the same place.”

The Toy Story ride is part ride, part video game and was really fun.  We waited about 45 minutes to ride it, which was our longest wait for a ride during the entire trip.

We also enjoyed eating at Pizza Planet, our dessert was a GIANT chocolate cupcake that was SO GOOD.  The kids played arcade games for awhile, which wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend time at Disney World, but they were having fun and we didn’t really feel like it was worth telling them “no.”

Other things we liked:  The Muppets 3D movie, the stunt show, and meeting Woody, Buzz, Lightning McQueen, and Mater.  Don’t tell anyone, but I was as excited as the kids to meet them.  Maybe more.  I’ll never admit to that, though.

Hollywood Studios had a Pixar parade with lots of great characters.  We were a little disappointed that Lightning and Mater weren’t in the parade, but it was still a really great parade.

That night we had another character dinner, this time with Cinderella, Prince Charming, and her evil stepmom and stepsisters, Lady Tremaine, Druzilla, and Anastacia.  We got to go to the swanky Grande Floridian to 1900 Park Fare for the dinner.  The stepsisters were hilarious!  Cinderella and Prince Charming were sweet and gracious.  Tate is not a fan of buffets, but we both thought the food was really tasty.

Tuesday

We got up early Tuesday to get to Animal Kingdom and go on the safari because Shelly said that morning was the best time to see the animals.  And see animals we did!  Giraffes crossing the road, rhinos, elephants, and a male lion, perched up on a hill.  We were all in awe.

Lunch could have been a HUGE disaster, they forgot to give Ella her food, then Tate spilled a full Diet Coke all over the table, himself, and Ella.  In the real world, this would have probably ruined the rest of the day, but in Disney World, we all just shrugged our shoulders, laughed, and wiped up the mess.  Seriously, I only mention this because it was nearly as amazing at the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom.

Poor Carson freaked out during the Bugs Life 3D movie, but the rest of us thought it was great.  At the end, the seats felt like bugs were running underneath and behind you.  I can see why Carson freaked out a little, but it was pretty funny.

After the parade, we rushed back to our hotel because we had dinner reservations at Downtown Disney at Fulton’s Crab House.  Ella fell asleep on the bus, so Tate carried her what seemed like a 20 mile walk to the restaurant.  Once we were seated, we learned that our Dining Plan couldn’t be used there.  Again, this is something that normally would just turn a perfectly fun evening into something NOT fun, but instead we just headed over Raglan’s.  It was an Irish pub that served Guinness, so really it was probably the perfect place for us.  We sat outside and enjoyed our dinners.

After dinner, we planned to browse all the shops at Downtown Disney, but it was ridiculously crowded.  After trying to look in a few stores, we decided to go back to the resort and watch the fireworks and the Electrical Water Parade from the dock at Wilderness Lodge.  I don’t think I care to ever go back to Downtown Disney.

Wednesday

We were so excited for Wednesday and our visit to Epcot.  While we were there, Epcot was hosting the International Food and Wine Festival and all during the week, Tate and I had been hoarding our dining plan snacks to redeem as we traveled through World Showcase.  Oh you guys, the food was AMAZING.  So were the beers, particularly those in the biergarten in Germany.  Tate and I really, really enjoyed those.

There were a few rides that we rode, but we mostly hung out and walked around World Showcase.  The kids seemed to have fun anyway, there was a mime in Italy that was really good, even for a mime.  For dinner we ate in Germany at Biergarten restaurant.  This was another buffet that was, OH MY GOODNESS, SO good.  We really enjoyed the band and the kids and I even got out and danced.  And they had more beer, very, very large beer, so it’s a good thing that we had a bus driver for the ride back.

(please pretend you don’t see the spot in between my boobs. Sweat? Dribbling beer? I don’t know. You just can’t take me ANYWHERE.)

So that was our trip to Disney World. It seemed like there was a surprise around every corner and yes, it was truly magical. We can’t wait to go back, even though I can’t imagine that another trip could ever be as amazing as this one.  I want to thank Shelly for all of her help in planning our trip, she did such a great job guiding us in the right direction and gave really GREAT advice.  Thank you, Shelly.  I also want to thank all the people who offered advice and tips.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

I met a fantastic man last weekend.  He was handsome, with dark hair and a charming, sweet smile.  We flirted and made eyes at each other while holding hands and breathing in the salty air.  Sometimes we spoke of deep, heart, secret things and sometimes we talked about the ordinary.  We really heard each other.

When I spoke to him, I didn’t raise my voice.  I looked into his eyes and really saw him and nuzzled my cheek in his neck without thinking about what was on my to do list.  The only distractions were the sand between our toes, bright sunshine, and the waves breaking noisily just steps away.

We got to go back to our home place and reset.  No kids.  Just me and that man I forgot I knew.

That man I met with the dark hair and sweet smile, his name was Tate and we fell in love all over again.

Hilton Head, the beach, and tiki bars serving pina coladas will do that to a girl.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Today Tate and I celebrate our ten year anniversary.

On the morning of July 14, 2001, I woke up very early, unable to go back to sleep due to the anticipation of this long awaited day. I went down to the hotel lobby to have breakfast. My dad happened to be in the lobby, so he and I ate breakfast together. Sitting there with just my dad before my big day is one of my favorite memories.

Later that morning, I saw my grandpa. He asked me if I knew that July 14th was also my grandmother’s birthday, she’d passed away when I was little. I hadn’t known that our wedding date was also her birthday, making the day that much more special.

My dress made me feel like a princess. I wish I had a reason to wear it again.

When the doors of the church opened, Tate looked like he was going to cry. I’ve asked him many times since if it was because of my breathtaking beauty or his nerves…of course, he always answers correctly. It was all I could do not to ugly cry as I walked down the aisle.

At our reception, I told the DJ that I did not want to hear any music by AC/DC or Rush, because I detest those bands. It didn’t matter if one of the reception guests requested to hear one of their songs, he was supposed to tell them that he’d add it to his list but then never get to it. He respected my wishes. Smart DJ.

We served a buffet dinner, which sadly I barely remember. I know I ate, I know that we had prime rib, but I don’t even recall if it was good. So sad to not even remember the food. I love reminiscing about food. What’s even more sad though, is that I only got one bite of wedding cake. I told Tate prior to the wedding that if he smeared cake in my face, he’d pay dearly. Tate respected my wishes. Smart Tate.

We decided that getting a limo to drive us to our hotel where we’d spend our wedding night would be silly. To save money, my mom drove us to our hotel. I remember laughing as she dropped us off, knowing what we were getting ready to go do for the VERY FIRST TIME. *ahem*

Tate carried me over the threshold. Thinking about that still makes my heart flutter.

I ate a Wendy’s double hamburger with everything except onions for lunch with my hair all made up in my veil.

I remember that our photographers followed us in the bus to where we were going to take some outdoor pictures.  When we got there (to historic downtown St. Charles), we changed our minds and decided to just keep drinking on the bus.  (Sorry photographers!  How annoying for you!)

A wedding is just one day out of a marriage and ours was a day filled with amazing memories.  I had no doubt in my mind that I was making the right choice. Ten years, two children, four moves, and many ups and downs later, I still have no doubt that Tate is my one and only.

Happy decade, baby.  I love you.

***********

Originally published three years ago with seven memories, for our seventh anniversary and two years ago with eight memories, and last year with nine memories.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Burritos and a date with the husband on a child-free Thursday!  I guess it’s time for Tate to cash in on those double bonus points.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Today Tate and I celebrate our nine year anniversary.

On the morning of July 14, 2001, I woke up very early, unable to go back to sleep due to the anticipation of this long awaited day. I went down to the hotel lobby to have breakfast. My dad happened to be in the lobby, so he and I ate breakfast together. Sitting there with just my dad before my big day is one of my favorite memories.

Later that morning, I saw my grandpa. He asked me if I knew that July 14th was also my grandmother’s birthday, she’d passed away when I was just a young child. I hadn’t known that our wedding date was also her birthday, making the day that much more special.

My dress made me feel like a princess. I wish I had a reason to wear it again.

When the doors of the church opened, Tate looked like he was going to cry. I’ve asked him many times since if it was because of my breathtaking beauty or his nerves…of course, he always answers correctly. It was all I could do not to ugly cry as I walked down the aisle.

At our reception, I told the DJ that I did not want to hear any music by AC/DC or Rush, because I detest those bands. It didn’t matter if one of the reception guests requested to hear one of their songs, he was supposed to tell them that he’d add it to his list but then never get to it. He respected my wishes. Smart DJ.

We served a buffet dinner, which sadly I barely remember. I know I ate, I know that we had prime rib, but I don’t even recall if it was good. So sad to not even remember the food. I love reminiscing about food. What’s even more sad though, is that I only got one bite of wedding cake. I told Tate prior to the wedding that if he smeared cake in my face, he’d pay dearly. Tate respected my wishes. Smart Tate.

We decided that getting a limo to drive us to our hotel where we’d spend our wedding night would be silly. To save money, my mom drove us to our hotel. I remember laughing as she dropped us off, knowing what we were getting ready to go do for the VERY FIRST TIME. *ahem*

Tate carried me over the threshold. Thinking about that still makes my heart flutter.

I ate a Wendy’s double hamburger with everything except onions for lunch with my hair all made up in my veil.

A wedding is just one day out of a marriage, but ours was a wonderful day to begin our marriage. I had no doubt in my mind that I was making the right choice. I still have no doubt that Tate is my one and only.

***********

Originally published two years ago with seven memories, for our seventh anniversary and last year with eight memories.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Three day weekends seem to magnify these MAJOR EVENTS minor fights.   Stupid three day weekends and their empty promises of relaxation and family harmony.  Hmph.  As if.

We own a blue, heat resistant spatula that we always use to cook eggs.  My wonderful husband almost always cleans the kitchen after these special weekend breakfasts, which is, yes, wonderful.  Except that it’s not wonderful when I’m emptying the dishwasher later and find that the blue spatula is still covered in egg.  This has happened every time he’s been in charge of “cleaning” since we got the spatula as a wedding gift in 2001.  I’ve tried explaining (Tate would say nagging.  Potato, pot-ah-to) that the blue spatula must be free of all egg debris prior to it’s insertion in the dishwasher otherwise my head explodes and I become unable to fulfill my wifely duties.

There has been no change in his behavior.  I’m starting to think my tactic isn’t working.

Tate is addicted to soft beverages.  Every morning I find at least two empty cans of Pepsi One sitting suspiciously around the house.  It’s suspicious because I’ve told (nagged?) Tate that when he leaves his empties around the house for me to throw away, I feel like an unappreciated, yet well-trained monkey.  I’ve tried just leaving the soda cans out for him to throw away, but I just end up having twice as many to throw away the next morning.  Threats and passive aggressive text messages go ignored.

Whenever I get on my phone or on the computer, or if I’m immersed in a good book, I’ve been told that I completely block out everything around me.  According to Tate, I’m very good at appearing to listen, nodding, even responding appropriately.  I don’t even realize that we’ve had a conversation until later when Tate brings up something that we allegedly talked about.  (I swear this is entrapment!) The disagreement almost always turns into a full-on argument about the time I spend clicking away on my phone/computer and I get defensive and Tate gets all, “why are you so defensive,” and then I get all screamy about the importance of Words with Friends.

Every night after the kids are finally bathed, read to, tucked in, watered, supplied with specific, hard to find bedtime toys, kissed, kissed again, hugged, hugged again, Tate and I settle on the couch to battle over the remote control and television volume.  Whomever is in charge of the remote control seems to feel that the television show chosen is the only thing worth watching at that moment.  Honestly, neither of us is usually very willing to consider the other’s viewing interests.  I like to watch House Hunters at a nice, low volume.  Tate likes to watch Shoot Em’ Up gun shows at blaring levels.  I’m sure he’d say that I watch Crap and Drivel at ear deafening volumes, and that he watches Important Educational Shows about Home Defense at a comfortable volume.  (He’s completely wrong, but whatever.)

I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll laugh about how ridiculous these tiffs are, which will probably be when I’m old and rich enough after winning the lottery to afford someone to come in and clean up after Tate, and deaf enough not to care that Tate loves to watch the TV with the volume as high as it will go.

What ongoing fights do you have with your spouse/significant other/partner/[insert politically correct terminology here]?

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

I love my husband, but I really love when he goes on his hunting and gathering missions.   There was a time that I resented his trips, leaving me ALL ALONE with two small babies!  I’d stew the whole week he was gone in anger and bitterness, and when he finally returned I’d practically knock him over as I grabbed my purse and keys as I rushed out the door to my getaway vehicle.

Now that the kids are older and decidedly EASIER, it’s really not so bad for Tate to be gone for a week.

While he was gone, we ate Bagel Bites and Mac n’ Cheese for dinner.  (The Mac n’ Cheese was at least ORGANIC processed food.)  The dryer became my closet because I never bothered to put any laundry away.  Toys were strewn about the house.  We watched movies and ate popcorn almost every night.  After the kids went to bed I indulged in complete unadulterated laptop devotion.

Tate doesn’t expect that dinner should be served piping hot as soon as he walks in the door from work.  He doesn’t care if beds are made, if the house is tidy, or if the laundry is neatly folded and put away.  That’s just how we typically live.  It’s what I DO on a day to day basis.  Tate’s vacations are also my vacations.

By the final day, though, the wrinkled clothes, mess, and diet of processed foods have worn me thin.   Tate typically calls throughout the day as he drives the ten hours home, and I find myself actually excited about his return.   Also?  Slightly panicked.

“Carson!  Help!  We have to get this house cleaned up before your daddy returns!  It looks like a fraternity party gone bad in here!”  I yelp as I look around at all of the granola bar packages and empty soda cans.

“Mommy, what’s a fraternity party?”

“Never mind!  Just help me clean!”

All the toys somehow find their way back into the toyroom and their respective bins.  I turn on the dryer and pray for the wrinkles to be released, then quickly fold the laundry and put it in drawers.  The evidence of poor food choices are hidden at the bottom of the trash bin.  My legs are de-furred (*wink, wink*).

We stand at the door and wave as Daddy pulls into the driveway.  The children practically knock him over as they rush out the door to greet him.  Then we come inside and we all do a happy dance for his safe return.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

In my recent organizing madness, I tackled my medicine cabinet.  Alongside expired Benadryl and An*lpram (what?  don’t pretend like you don’t have An*lpram in your medicine cabinet, especially if you’ve ever given birth), I found the pregnancy tests from both Carson and Ella.

I suspect some of you just barfed in your mouth a little because, “OMG THOSE STICKS HAD PEE ON THEM AND I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D SAVE THEM!”  Well, yes.  Yes they did have pee on them, but they also were the first bearers of the best news I ever received.   Finding these sticks was such a surprise, even though I knew they were in the medicine cabinet.  These three peed-on sticks reminded me of what it was like, finding out that Tate and I would be welcoming a tiny, real, live HUMAN BEING into our family.

The first test I took when I “suspected” I was pregnant with Carson was only barely positive.  Actually, I didn’t really suspect I was pregnant, it was more like hopeful, and I took the test earlier than they recommended.  The line was so faint that I thought it was possible that there could have been a malfunction with the test.   I waited a few (BRUTALLY LONG) days and took a second test that was positive immediately.  Tate and I sat on our bed looking at each other and laughing and crying.  We could AND we couldn’t believe it.

Then just 10 months later, another gift, another positive pregnancy test.  Tate was in the shower while I paced back and forth, the stick in hand.  I was almost skipping with delight, but every few seconds I would have a nagging feeling of WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, but mostly there was elation.   It makes me sad that I don’t remember exactly how I told Tate, maybe I blurted it out as soon as he got out of the shower…or maybe I showed him the positive stick.

These already fading memories is exactly why I still have these peed-on, semi icky sticks.  They are a tangible reminder of those two moments that announced the most amazing, frightening, best things that have or will ever happen to us.

I’m going to put them back in the medicine cabinet so that I can find them and remember all over again.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

As always, from the very bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for your kind words and for your own personal stories regarding my State of our Marriage and rotten parenting worries.   Each of your comments meant such a great deal to me.  One in particular, from Rima, ended with a quote that I ADORE and want framed or tattooed somewhere on my body. I’m leaning towards framed rather than tattooed.

“Let everything happen to you – the beauty, the terror. Just keep going, no feeling is final.” ~Rilke

Is that not perfect?!  Thank you, Rima, truly.

I took your words and heart felt advice and talked to Tate before leaving for Nashville.  I knew that leaving with such a heavy burden on my heart and on my mind would have furthered the rift in our marriage.  In my mind, I planned to sit Tate down and have our much needed talk, but only after I had completely gotten ready for the next day’s departure.  Tate, however, decided to confront ME while I was in the middle of preparations.

Unfortunately I was completing a VERY IMPORTANT pre-conference beauty ritual when he decided it was time to talk.  I had just put whitening strips on my teeth.   How sherioush a convershation can you reary have when you’re wearing whitening shtripsh?  Yeah, I don’t know.  We might need to have a do-over very serious conversation since it was hard for both of us not to laugh with spit and speech impediments flying out of my mouth.

At least it was a start.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.