©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

It seriously cannot be that hard to type, type, type on the lil’ ol’ computer keyboard a different address.

See, watch this!  I’m going to type an address (Not MY new address, just AN address…)

 4101 Dumbass Blvd.
Stupid Idiots, AL 66600

That wasn’t even hard and didn’t even require the use of my brain.

Get a clue magazine subscription forwarder fools!  I need my Southern Living and Everyday With Rachael Ray!

Thank you.  I feel better now.  Carry on.

(post #8 about moving.  yikes)

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Last Haiku Friday
Until I get settled in
Pray I have wi-fi

Since I don’t know if any of my new neighbors in our temporary housing will be stupid enough nice enough to have unsecured wi-fi and let me “borrow” it, I may not have ready access to Internet. *wails*

Losing the Internet is almost as traumatic as the whole move itself. *sobs*

Go see Christina to sign Mr. Linky next week and every week after that until further notice. *sniffs*

(post #7, about moving.  sorry.)

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

My fantasy includes a mommy-utopia complete with neighbors who actually say hello, access to babysitters, and best of all I’m suddenly very toned.

Poor New Town, IN has a lot to live up to.

There are only nine days left in which I’ll be a resident of the state of Alabama.  It hasn’t been all bad living here, it also hasn’t been all good. 

I won’t miss our neighbors…

Or the black bears…

(Why yes that IS a black bear in my backyard at 2:54 PM, the middle of the day!)

I definitely won’t miss boarding up for hurricanes either. This is when we boarded up for that little bitch known as Katrina…

picture removed

But even with all the hiccups here in Shitty Town, AL, there have been some good things, too…

I became a mommy.

(Early evidence of my quest to become Le Binky Bitch with Carson, age 2 weeks)

picture removed

(Ella at 2 weeks old.)

Picture removed

I also met some great friends.

With these last few days ticking away, the air feels thick and I can hardly breathe.  I’m teetering on the edge of panic.  I feel sad, euphoric, and overwhelmed all at the same time.  We’re leaving the house where we brought our babies home, the only home they’ve ever known.  I worry how will Carson handle the move.  I fear having to start all over in making friends.   All of the little tasks are starting to eat away at me.  I just want this move to get over with so that we can get back to “real life.”

I’m dreading that when we get there and finally get settled in, life will still be, well, life.  It won’t be any easier, or better, friendlier, or more prosperous.   The only difference will be that it’s not Alabama.

New Town, IN can’t be all it’s cracked up to be.

Also, I’ve heard that there are lots of Cubs fans there.  And THAT scares me more than anything.

(post # 6 about moving)

********

psst…check out whose photo made Photo of the Day at Photrade…..

http://blog.photrade.com/?p=95

And speaking of Photrade, I have 3 invites if anyone is interested…email me.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

I dread the phone calls
Nap time.  Dinner time.  Trashed house.
Can we show your house?

**********************

I haven’t talked at all about the inconvenience of having a house for sale with two small children (one of them who’s freakishly messy), two basset hounds (both of which have “issues” with slobber and ickiness), a husband who is utterly incapable of picking up his dirty socks, and me-a person whose housekeeping skills are lacking. 

I’ve tried to be accomodating, albeit through gritted teeth and utter annoyance, but accomodating.

We had a showing last night at 6:30.  I know I should be thankful that we having any showings at all in this lackluster housing market, but come on people!  Six thirty is our dinner and wind down time.  It’s a mere 45 minutes from my own personal promised land where my children are finally sleeping!

I emailed Tate about the showing.  Here’s what transpired:

Jennifer to Tate:
Showing tonight. 6:30, yo.
 
How the heck are we supposed to have dinner?  Jerks.

**
**

Tate wrote:

Looks like we’re eating out!

**
**

Jennifer wrote:

mexican?

**
**

Tate wrote:

10-4 Good buddy

**
**

Jennifer wrote:

righty-o

**
**

Tate wrote:

I thought you said mexican, not righty-O’s.  I do not like righty- O’s.

**
**

Jennifer wrote:

How about nachos? 

By the way, your son spit on me today.

**
**

Tate wrote:

I’m nach-o ordinary kinda guy.

My son spat on you?  Atta boy!  Better than being shat on.

**
**

Jennifer wrote:

righty-o

*************

Do you all see what I’m up against here!  Do you SEE?!  The realtors, my husband, my own son…they’re all out to get me.

(Post #5 about moving.)

*************

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

I woke up this morning with the most gigantic zit on my chin.  Also, I’m a little snippy and a whole lot extra sarcastic.  Either I’m suddenly 14 again, or I’m stressed.

Any time that I’m under extra stress (like MOVING) (and yes MOVING does deserve it’s all caps status), I tend to worry about everything that could possibly be worried about. 

Some of my worries are valid, and something I’m certain anyone MOVING would have the same worries.

• Obviously I’m worried about the actual process of moving.  Duh.
• What if I don’t have Internet access in the temporary housing?  Will I die?
• It was cold here this morning, but Indiana is practically Arctic Circle.  I’m going to freeze to death, aren’t I?
• How are all the little details ever going to be completed?  It’s impossible.  There is no way that any of this stuff is going to get done.
• I won’t know anyone.  I’ll have to make new friends all over again.  And I have this GIANT ZIT on my face so nobody will even want to talk to me!
• And
• Many
• Many
• More…. 

I’m trying to be positive, though.  I’ve done some research and have found some things that will make everything all better when we move to Indiana.

• There is a Moe’s in the town where we’ll be living.  Thank God for the Homewrecker and the Billy Barou.  Amen.
• There is a Target!  Also, there is a Meijer.  I’ve heard nothing but great things about Meijer and am hoping for a long and mutually beneficial relationship.
• There are lots of great houses for sale right now just waiting for me to move in, organize, and decorate.   I can’t wait to shop for the necessary items everyone buys when they move into a new home like a new brown and blue bedspread with matching shams, bed skirt, pillows, and curtains.  I bet they’ll even have what I want at Target!   Also, I suspect new towels for the master bath will be needed to coordinate with the new bedding.  I’d hate to leave the kitchen out, so getting some new dishes and glasses would only be fair. 
• Since it’s going to be bitterly cold, I must get a new hat, gloves, scarf, and boots.  My old ones simply won’t do.  Also, new sweaters, socks, and lingerie will have to be purchased.

Retail therapy is cheaper than “real” therapy, right?

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

Our moving company called us last week to discuss our needs during our upcoming move.  Since I’d like to avoid another disastrous move, I made sure to let this moving company know what had happened during the last move.  I explained that many of our breakables had been improperly packed, resulting in the loss of several treasured items. 

And of course I made it clear that my wallet had been stolen by the movers during the last move and that I was feeling really anxious about the possibility of having another bad experience.

The gentleman I was speaking with listened with a sympathetic ear.  He told me that he was the owner of this moving company and that he would be sure to send his best crew.  Since our belongings will have to be in storage for awhile, he assured me that he’d store our stuff at his own facility.  When we are ready to have our things delivered, he told me that he’d send the same crew to unload the truck.

All of these reassurances did make me feel better.

Then he told me a little story he’d heard about another person’s horrific move and any *good* feelings I had vanished.

He’d heard recently about a woman who’d moved.  The movers had tried to demand more money before delivering her belongings.  Eventually the movers did unload the truck.  The next day, one of the movers came back to attack the lady, but luckily she was able to lock herself in the bedroom and call 911.

What the flippity flap?!?!

I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER about this move.  That story really helped my anxiety.

If you need me, I’ll be in the corner, rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.

One of the things I’ve had to do to get ready to move, was to get our dismantled alarm system fixed.  To save you from having to click the link and get caught up, I’ll quickly recap my (mis)adventures with said alarm system.

• We were robbed while moving
• Tate had to go out of town right after the robbery, so I messed with the alarm system
• I f*cked up the alarm system, causing it to set
• We had no code to disarm the alarm
• I called the cops to help, they laughed
• I disassembled the alarm

Caught up?  Good.

So I called ADT, for the very good reason that they were the first alarm company I came to in the phone book.  I got the ole run-around at the local office so they sent me to their 1-800 number.  Not surprisingly, I got the ole run-around when I called the 1-800 number and was switched from operator to operator.

“No, I don’t have an account.  I just need someone to reset a code or something.”

“You’ll have to call your local office.”

“They said I had to call this number.”

“That’s strange.  Let’s see what I can do.”

“That would be great.”

“I called the local office and they said that it’s not worth their time.”

“No they dint.”

“Yes, they did.  If you’d like to sign a 36-month contract we can help you.”

“Kiss my ass, you anal-wart-heads you.”

(I didn’t actually tell them to kiss my ass or call them anal-wart-heads.)  I did tell them that I thought this was a poor business practice and that when I am in need of having an alarm system installed or monitored that I won’t be calling their sorry-ass excuse for an alarm company. (I didn’t actually say the sorry-ass part.)  ADT Home Security Systems blows donkey balls.

So next up in the phone book was Brinks.  Brinks Home Security Systems was very helpful.  They came the very next day to help.  Brinks Home Security Systems didn’t give me the ole run-around.  Me loves Brinks Home Security Systems lots.

Actually the first guy that came out to fix the alarm told me that since the alarm was set he wouldn’t be able to re-program the alarm.  He explained that it was set up this way so that potential thieves couldn’t break into your house and simply re-program your alarm system, then proceed to rob you blind.  A new motherboard would need to be ordered and I’d be charged for at least an hour of labor.

“Fine, fine, fine.  Whatever,” I said.  “We just need this alarm system fixed.”

He told me he’d return the next day.  But the next day, a different Brinks Home Security guy showed up.  He proceeded to start pushing lots of buttons on the control panel and within about five minutes, he’d re-programmed the system. 

“I just saved you a bunch of money.  I hacked into your system and reset the code.”

While I do love to save money, I’m a WHOLE LOT disturbed that my alarm system was so easily hacked.  Gee, that’s reassuring in the event of my house being robbed.  But the good news is, is that the alarm system is now fixed and I’m ready to be hacked by every potential thief in Lower Alabama.

Did I mention my disdain for ADT Home Security systems?  No?  Well, ADT BLOWS.

Brinks Home Security systems gets my Binky Bitch seal of approval.

©2012 Playgroups are No Place For Children. All Rights Reserved.