Category Archives: Need to Know

I see purple

Since April, everywhere I go I see purple.  It’s all the rage in fashion, I see it in the fall plantings, and everywhere online, there’s purple.  And I remember Maddie.

Purple had never really been a color that I’d noticed or sought out.  Then seven months ago, purple was suddenly everywhere.  Recently, along with the increase of purple in my wardrobe, I bought a purple purse.  It wasn’t that I purposely set out to buy a physical reminder of Maddie, yet everyday I pick up that purse and I remember her.

Today is Maddie’s second birthday.  I’m going to wear a purple shirt, carry my purple purse, and keep Maddie, Heather, and Mike and their whole family on my mind and in my heart.

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Please consider donating to Friends of Maddie, an organization celebrating Maddie’s life through the support of families with babies in the NICU.

Short, pear shaped women unite!

I have been on the hunt for a Stacy and Clinton approved pair of jeans since forever.   With my body shape and height (pear shaped and stumpy), the search for jeans has been difficult, to say the least.

My mission has been to find a pair of jeans that:

1)  Are one color of denim, preferably a dark wash.
2)  Create a sleek line from my hips all the way to my ankles
3)  Fit my hips AND my waist
4)  Are not too long
5)  Do not have any ornamentation on the pockets or pockets with flaps.

Evil roadblocks I encounter over and over:

1)  The jeans are a dark wash, except on the thighs.  Thanks, but my thighs don’t need any extra attention drawn to them.
2)  Most jeans are not wide enough all the way to my ankle, thus creating a “wow, she has really fat thighs” look.  Flare jeans and/or skinny jeans = EVIL.
3)  They fit over my hips but leave a giant gaping space at my waist.
4)  MOST jeans are too long, even those that say “short” or those found in petites.
5)  Rhinestones or buttons or silver designs adorn the pockets and scream “MY ASS IS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL!”

So imagine my dilemma when I walked into J. Crew the other day and found an almost perfect pair of jeans.  They met 3 out of my 5 criteria, but unfortunately were too big in the waist and were too long.  I could hear Stacy and Clinton whispering in my ear that I could always have the jeans altered to fit.  Since the jeans were $98, I knew I couldn’t afford to have someone else alter them.  In a move very unlike me, I decided to buy those $98 jeans and {gulp} attempt to alter them myself.

I’m not a professional seamstress by any stretch of the imagination.  I figured hemming the jeans would be EASY, it would be the waist alteration that would be tricky.  I googled and brainstormed and read sewing forums and came up with a plan to alter the waist.  This is what I did…

Here’s what you’ll need:

What you'll need to alter the waist of jeans

1.  Heavy thread. Regular thread won’t work because it’s not strong enough for denim.  I chose blue thread to match the jeans, but I could have chosen a color to match the orange-ish stitching on the jeans.
2.  Denim iron-on patches. Interfacing might have worked, but I wanted something little stronger.
3.  Xanax. Did I mention the jeans cost my $98?

Before cutting on those $98 jeans, I practiced on an old pair of jeans that no longer fit.  I’m glad I took the time to practice because I made a few mistakes.

Mistakes on my practice attempt

1. The first “V” cut that I made was way too big, the “V” should have been much skinnier.
2. I didn’t properly attach each side of the “V” to the denim patch and it left a gap at the top.

After practicing, I got to work on the $98 J. Crew jeans.  {Big deep breath}

First, I placed a pin at an angle alongside the two back, side belt loops.  I measured to be sure they were both about the same distance from the belt loop.

measure from the belt loops

Then I cut two skinny “V”‘s into the waistband, along the angle of the pin.  Carefully, I attached the denim patch to the inner side of the waistband, making sure that the sides of the “V”‘s were lined up properly and touching along their edges. Next, I ironed the patch onto the jeans.

Pin the denim patch to the inner waistband, making sure sides of the "V" are touching, and iron patch in place.

With my sewing machine on a zig-zag setting and the stitch length set to 1 mm, I sewed the two edges of the “V” together. I suppose this could have been hand stitched, but it would take a long time.

stiched

I tried the jeans on and realized that they still needed to be taken in a bit more.

I decided to remove the upper seam of the center, back belt loop and cut another skinny “V” into the waistband, following the same procedure as explained above.  After sewing the “V” together, I then hand stitched the upper seam of the belt loop back to the waistband.

Originally I didn’t want to remove the belt loops because I was afraid they’d be difficult to reattach, but I wish I had done all three alterations under the belt loops so that the alteration wouldn’t be seen.

Alteration under the belt loop

I’m really happy with the results, even though my handiwork wasn’t perfect!  Since I NEVER tuck shirts into the waistband of my pants, nobody will ever see the alterations.

The man at the exit ramp

The man is standing at the side of the road, the one by the exit ramp a few miles from my house.  He, or rather, some other man who appears to be in the same position, is always standing there.

He is holding a cardboard sign with the words “stranded/ hungry/ out of work/ can you spare some change.”  On the ground at his feet is a backpack, dirty and crumpled.  A blanket roll is affixed to the top of his pack with twine or bungee cords.  Sometimes there is a mangy dog, lying obediently at the man’s feet, the leash coiled beside his napping head.

The man is dirty, his face is smudged with dirt, he hasn’t shaved for several days.  If he’s wearing a hat, the hair that is hanging out is matted.  Sometimes he has a ponytail.  His fingers gripping his sign are caked with dirt.  Occasionally a cigarette hangs from his lips.

I don’t know how I know so many of these visual details about the man.  Before braking at the light on the exit ramp, I’ve locked my doors and vowed to stare straight ahead.  I don’t look at him, I can’t look at him.

I feel ashamed to be sitting in my SUV that’s always full of gas, my iPhone sitting in the console, my children watching a non-stop loop of DVDs, my stomach and my children’s stomachs full from a weekly lunch at a nice deli.  I can’t even look at the man, I really don’t have any cash to give him.  I pretend to talk to my children or to be absorbed in finding some fake lost item in my center console.

As the light turns green and start to drive, I feel relieved not to be stopped next to the man that I pretended was invisible.

I wonder about the man’s story.

Is he really stranded?  Does he really want money for food or would he go and buy liquor or drugs with the money?    Does he have family?  Does his family know that he’s standing by an off ramp, holding a cardboard sign that says he’s hungry?

How did he end up here, both HERE at that intersection, but also here in his life, standing at the side of the road asking passing motorists for a ride and money?

I’m sorry

I’m not really sure what to say here.

I know that when someone’s beloved dies, saying “I’m sorry” is supposed to be the “right” thing to say, if there is really anything “right” that can be said.

The words “I’m sorry,” though, seem so tiny compared to the enormity of the emotions felt.

I’m sorry? That’s it?

I wish that there was something more that I could say to truly encompass and ease the depth of your loss, Heather and Mike.

I wish I didn’t have to say these words.

I’m sorry.




I don’t mind if you call me the “Yoda of blogging”

I’m not sure if you’ve heard or not, but NEXT weekend is BlissDom ’08 sponsored by Blissfully Domestic magazine. It’s being held in my new home state of Tennessee, just a few hours from me in Nashville.

Blissdom 08

I think the MOST important thing that I should mention about BlissDom ’08 is the fact that I will be speaking on a Question and Answer panel.  As your own personal “Yoda of blogging,” YOU can ask ME questions about blogging.  If this isn’t enough to pique your interest (???), maybe the fact that it’s a FREE CONFERENCE will.

So let’s review.

I’m speaking and it’s FREE!

Not enough?

Okay, how about this.  Jessie Baylin, a real live SINGER will be performing.  They originally asked me to sing at the conference, seeing as I do an absolutely FAB rendition of Five Green and Speckled Frogs and If You’re Happy and You Know It.  But with all those questions I’ll be answering, I figured my voice wouldn’t be in pristine condition for singing.  Jessie Baylin is a fantastic replacement for me, though.

And if the fact that I’m speaking, which by proxy means you’ll get to meet ME! and the conference is FREE, AND Jessie Baylin is singing still isn’t enough, then how about a list of attendees…

Check out this link for a list of attendees so far.

Impressive, yes!!!??

I’LL see YOU next weekend in Nashville!

(You all get that I’m making fun of MYSELF, right???  I’m not really this conceited!!)

You can never add too many vignettes

Haiku Friday

My new love affair
Deep, hot passion for Picnik
It makes me quiver

About forever ago, OH Mommy mentioned something on her blog about this new fandagled photo editing site called Picnik.  I bookmarked the page, but forgot about it until a few weeks ago at BlogHer where I received a card for one year of Picnik Premium. 

“Meh,” I thought to myself, “I’ll check it out sometime.”

After BlogHer, I saw several bloggers (can’t remember who…was it you?) who were giving away Picnik Premium for contests on their blogs.  Then I saw a gorgeous photo of VDog and her Little Man on her blog and she told me she had edited it in Picnik.

So FINALLY after months of the universe trying to speak Picnik language to me, I listened.  We had our first date on Wednesday.

And I fell in love.

We got married and lived happily ever after and made beautiful babies.  Hundreds of them.

[some pictures deleted]

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To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST. Seriously.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

Reverting to my old standby of ALL CAPS!!! And EXCLAMATION POINTS!!

I’ve been working and rewriting and backspacing on this post for two days, trying to come up with something truly eloquent to say about my experience at BlogHer.   Having handed out (not as many as I expected) cards and met so many inspiring, hilarious, [insert flattering adjective here] women, I feel this odd pressure to write something that gives the experience justice.

To make this easier, I’ll just revert to my typical way of expressing excitement and joy.

BLOGHER WAS SO AWESOME!  I HAD THE GREATEST TIME EVER!!!!!!  If you ever get a chance to go, DON’T hesitate!  GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  I’m DEFINITELY going next year!!!!!!!

Phew!  It feels better to get that out there, though not in the prose form I was hoping for.   I wish there was a way to capture in text the women, the conversations, the laughs, the listening, and the learning.   Being there, I felt like I was in a group to which I truly belonged.  (mostly)  I felt like the people I met, were my friends, like REAL, LIVE EVERYDAY friends.  (mostly)  You know those women you read everyday and think are so funny and fantastic?  Well they are more funny and fantastic in person.  (completely)

(Mostly) everything about the weekend I could say with pink, puffy hearts surrounding my words.  But of course, there were a few awkward moments, like when you’d meet someone new, without too much hoopla, but then someone you’d been dying to meet would walk up and there was lots of squeeing and jumping and hugging.  I felt bad for not having that reaction with everyone.

There were awkward moments when people I’d meet didn’t know my blog and I didn’t know theirs and the conversation would fizzle quickly.

It was awkward and overwhelming to walk alone into a room filled with people that all seemed to know one another.  More than once I had to either, leave the room and find a familiar face, or muster up every bit of courage I possessed and walk up to people and introduce myself. 

The point of telling you about the awkward moments isn’t to scare you or to make it seem like BlogHer was somehow not all it’s cracked up to be.  I’m telling you those things because I want to make the point that if you’ve been afraid of going to BlogHer for fear of awkwardness or not knowing anyone, (mostly) everyone probably felt the same awkwardness and nervousness at some point during the weekend. 

BlogHer really IS all it’s cracked up to be.  Cross my heart.  So I’ll be seeing you there next year, right?!

***

PS.  I broke one of my own cardinal blogging rules by not answering your specific questions about my last post…so I’ll answer here.

1.  Yes I had fun at BlogHer.  Please read the above post.
2.  No, TSA kept the knife.
3.  No, I don’t know how it got in there.  Neither does my husband.  Maybe it was Carson’s knife?  (kidding.)