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Arrivederci

I received the following “Dear John” letter yesterday. I’m still in shock, but I really need to share it with someone. I, I, I just don’t know what to say.

Yo Jennifer!

Listen, Toots, I hate to do this to ya, but I gotta be leavin’. We’ve had a great run, but there are so many places I gots to be and people to meet. I’m just not feeling it anymore witcha. You can’t expect a guy like me to be tied down here anymore.

Peanut is getting older now and yeah, yeah, yeah, I realize you’ve depended on me for gettin’ showered and dressed, but you’ll be okay without me. You ain’t the only chick I’ve left, and you won’t be the last. I’ve tried to ease you into my inevitable departure, but lady you are WAY TOO ATTACHED. I’ve been showin’ up later and later and sometimes not at all, but you just can’t take the hint. A clean break is for the best.

I’ve talked to the guy in charge of afternoons and he says that he’ll be sticking around for awhile. Babe, I’ll miss you. We had some great times together. I will never forget you.

I know you’ll probably be cryin’, but you’ll be alright. Life will go on, Toots. Here’s lookin’ at you kid. Keep your chin up.

Love Always,
Paulie
The Morning Nap

I have been leery of letting go, but I just didn’t expect it to end like this. That morning nap has been my time to shower and get ready for the day. It’s been obvious that the end was near, I know. All the signs were there…the resistance to take the morning nap, sometimes not taking the morning nap. But, but, I was a believer. A believer. I kept hoping it wasn’t true.

This is a hard time for me. I could use all the support that I can get. Thanks for listening. Sorry about all the snot. I forgot to bring tissues.

Happy last day of work FIL!! Happy Retirement!

Tags: Little Monkeys by Jennifer
5 Comments »

Can We Use This On Our Husbands?

I feel like I’m in 4th grade writing a book report. I’ll try to be a little more interesting than I was in the 4th grade.

Thanks again to Kristen from The Mom Trap for suggesting this blogging book-a-long. I’m really enjoying 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan. This is seriously one of the easiest reading parenting books I’ve read. For a review of Part I of the book go here.

This approach to discipline is so incredibly simple that I am somewhat skeptical about how well it would work on some kids. Part II of the book described the procedures for stopping behaviors such as tantrums, fighting, and arguing. His procedure uses counting to three to gain control. The most important thing and the “trick” of getting counting to work is in the “no talking/no emotion” rule. This means that when counting out a child, the parent is to NOT talk and show NO emotion. This will be a hard, hard, hard thing for me (and I suspect, most parents) to do. The purpose of this is to not engage in playing into our children’s tantrums and exacerbate the issue with arguing.

Dr. Phelan explained that when there is a behavior to stop, you count to one, then two if the behavior continues, and finally to three if needed. At three, the child goes to time out or loses a privilege. After the time out period ends (one minute for each year of age), there is no lecture or mention of the misbehavior. Wow! Again, I think this will be really difficult, but I definitely see the benefits of not continuing the fight. After a short time, Dr. Phelan explained that most parents can gain control by just counting to one or two.

One thing that I find to be terrific about this approach is in it’s consistency. This counting method is recommended for use at home, in public, in front of company, and for use by others (grandparents, babysitters, teachers). I also really like that this method is meant to be an alternative to spanking. Dr. Phelan stated that 99% of all spankings are parental temper tantrums. Personally, I don’t want to throw a temper tantrum and end up spanking my children. Finally, the book has an entire chapter where 20 “what ifs” about this approach are answered.

I mentioned my skepticism. It seems unlikely to me, that this would really work on anyone younger than five or six. For older children, I can absolutely see this method working like a charm. I’m really curious to hear from others their experiences with younger kiddos. I also question Dr. Phelan’s time out environment which he says is oftentimes the child’s room. He stated that as long as there is no electronic entertainment or access to friends in the room, then it’s okay for the the child to go in there room and play during time out. In my mind, I’ve always thought of the time out spot as being someplace undesirable. Even with these questions, I will definitely try out this technique when my son is older.

I have just a few more questions…Can we use this technique for our husbands? Do you think it would work to curb their obnoxious behavior?! Do I get an A on my book report?

Tags: I Still Have the Smarts Real Good, Little Monkeys by Jennifer
4 Comments »

Toddler Equations

A bucket of water + old pastry brush = 2 hours of pure delight. I’d like to thank my high school friend, MH, for giving me a heads up on this simple, yet genius toddler pleasing activity.

Peanut had the best time last Friday playing outside, especially in the water. I get such a kick out of watching him discover new things. Now that he’s mobile, he loves to walk around, exploring leaves, sticks, rocks, grass blades, cracks, tree bark….It wears me out just following him around and guiding him around piles of doggy poo landmines. That’s why the bucket of water is sooooo incredibly genius, see. Peanut stays in one place. For more than 30 seconds! I can sit in a chair and watch him, it’s truly delightful.

There were a few hitches in an otherwise perfectly lovely activity. The need for really, really frequent bathroom breaks is a sure way to tick off a content, playing quietly toddler. A beer would have been a lovely addition to the day, but no such luck there (thanks, Petunia). I also couldn’t help but wish that I was heading out on a date to an outdoor restaurant with only Tate. Is that wrong of me? Here I was, enjoying my son’s company, but still wishing I was somewhere else. Am I a bad Mommy? Beautiful Friday evening - Babysitter = TV night again.

As a public service announcement, it is imperative that I share with you the following equation: unhappy, interrupted toddler + pastry brush = painful bump on Mommy’s head. Hope this information comes in handy for you one day. You’re welcome in advance.

Tags: Little Monkeys, Mommydom by Jennifer
3 Comments »

I’m Calling Uncle

Sometimes I wonder if I’m ever on the “to do” list. Actually, I already know the answer. And damnit if the answer isn’t a resounding NO.

If I have one more conversation about purple fountain grass and mondo grass, I may chew off my own tongue. The thought of having the billionth conversation about our “hypothetical” dream kitchen makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs. I don’t give a rat’s ass if we restain the grout on the flipping kitchen floor. Nobody cares. No, I don’t like bamboo floors. Yes, the “new” shag carpet is neat. Your right, dear, we really should have that alarm system activated. The garage floor? Oh we should certainly run right out and buy that fancy hybrid polymer floor coating. I suppose we should pull up the azalea bushes now. It’s such a pressing matter. The windows need to be caulked? And your going to be outside for how long? Yeah! (jumping up and down for joy), I mean, sure go ahead darling. Yes, we do need new blinds in the whole house because the former owners were heavy smokers and they are yellow instead of white. Putting slate tile on the back patio would be a lovely addition. I can’t wait to pick out new office furniture so that we can finally get organized in there. Granite countertops, a new stove, and sink would be fanfuckingtastic.

This was the “to do” list discussion from today.

TODAY.

HELP ME.

I haven’t had a haircut since October. Color? July.

I have 4 short sleeve maternity shirts and 2 of them are two small to wear in public. I have 1 pair of maternity jeans.

I drive into town only twice per week (or less) to save gas.

Forgive me for my selfishness and lack of enthusiasm for home improvement.

Tags: Men?, Quirky Me by Jennifer
3 Comments »

Oh, Hell, Not This Again

Well, actually it is this again, thankyouverymuch. Another edition of Random Thoughts Friday.

I don’t know what to give up for Lent. I’ve already given up beer, wine, margaritas, martinis, sushi, medium rare steak, lunch meat, feta cheese, and my luscious hot body. What more do you want from me, God?

Peanut has stinky poop, but not as stinky as your kid’s poop. I don’t think I could change a diaper of a child that was not my own…ewww.

At the risk of sounding like your ol’ Aunt Bessie, my sciatic nerve is kicking my ass. Literally.

Low carb diet + Lent = Difficult to plan menu for Fridays. How about a side of meat with your meat? (on a sidenote, I’m not on a low-carb diet…Tate is and I try to make low-carb fare for dinner…no nasty comments necessary about how bad a low-carb diet is for this pregnant gal.)

“Hey I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything’s right.” I couldn’t agree more, Paolo Nutini. (Not sure where the commas belong…I didn’t write the song)

Have you seen that Clearblue Easy commercial with the pee stream on the stick? Who thought that this was a good idea? Reminds me of those “messy BM leak” diaper commercials from several years ago. Ewwwww.

I’ve decided that my dream job would be like Rachael Ray’s job on Tasty Travels. How spectacular would it be to go eat at different, hip restaurants all over the world?! I love eating regional foods. Hell, I love eating food.

I’m going to a playdate today and I’m going to eat baba ganoush. I wonder what region this is from…sounds Middle Eastern. Wish me luck.

Finally, I’d like to thank all of you who left comments yesterday!!!! It’s the most I’ve ever received in one day!!! Yeah me! Is it wrong to find such fulfillment in this? Well if it’s wrong to feel this good, I don’t want to be right.

Word to your mother, peace out.

Tags: Randomness by Jennifer
6 Comments »

Please Help Spread the Word

Please help me spread the word about this asinine policy on the feeding of a breastfed child in a day care setting. The day care is City Kids Daycare in Columbus, OH. Due to breastmilk being a “hazardous body fluid” and the “extra trouble” to warm the milk, they charge an extra $50 per week for children fed breastmilk.

The Lactivist, Jennifer Laycock, (Click on The Lactivist) has started the crusade to end this discrimination. Her blog lists the phone numbers and email address of the director of City Kids Daycare.

I’ll be emailing the director and sharing with her my dismay at this situation. Please spread the word on your blogs, discussion forums, to lawyers, the media…anyway that you can. As Jennifer stated in her blog, we cannot let daycare centers dictate what we feed our children.

I can’t even believe that this is an issue?!?! I suspect the policy will be reversed after getting several hundred emails/phone calls. Unbelievable. Sorry I don’t have time to write more, Jennifer covered all the bases in her blog.

Tags: Huh? by Jennifer
1 Comment »

Clearly, I Need Help

I read a lot of Mommy blogs everyday. Not just the blogs that I have listed in my blogroll, way more than that. So many if fact, that I couldn’t begin to count the number (is gajillion a number?). It’s a sickness, really. I know that I need help, but I just can’t stop. And honestly, I don’t want to stop.

I read so many of these blogs, that I don’t always leave comments. Sometimes the post was so brilliant that putting in my two cents would just be tarnishing it. Other times, there are already like 78 comments that say the exact same thing. I don’t tend to comment when I don’t have anything new to add. At times, I just want to lurk. It’s not a crime, you know.

I do comment to offer support or a “happy birthday, old lady.” Sometimes, I even come up with a comment so unbelievably hilarious, that it must be shared. It would be a crime not to spread “brilliant me” around.

I admit it, I’m a comment giving tease and a comment getting whore.

So, if you haven’t left a comment here yet because you don’t know what to say, here are some options. Just select your sentence of choice, Left click it, copy, paste into comments section (Say what you will).

1. This is the most amazing blog I’ve ever read! Thank you for enlightening me with your vast knowledge.

2. Have you won a Pulitzer for writing yet? No? What? What? What? That’s impossible!

3. Delurking to say that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your writing. Please be my friend.

Hopefully one of these choices will fit exactly what you were already thinking. If not, I suppose you can leave your own comment. So what are you waiting for? LEAVE A COMMENT!

Tilly Lou: “Isn’t this a bit juvenile, Jennifer?”
Jennifer: “Like, totally, I’m like soooooooooo joking. Geez, can’t a pregnant 31 year old have any fun? GAWD!”

Tags: Quirky Me by Jennifer
8 Comments »

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