playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren

Okay, so I’m not being original. Sue me. Well, don’t really sue me, just humor me. I thought this would be a good way for you to get to know me. The down and dirty me.

I’ve compiled a list of 11 things about me. Ten of them are true and one of them is false. If you’re expecting lists as exciting as this one and this one, well too bad! You’ve come to the wrong place. I’m not even in the same stratosphere as those two way cool gals.

Here’s the list. Don’t raise your expectations too high.

1. I once had my wallet stolen by movers. They hid the “evidence” in the the tank of toilet. We discovered their genius hiding spot when flushing.

2. I got kicked out of a bar on my 22nd birthday for smoking pot in the bathroom. I was so pissed, seeing as I was there to see Art Bentley, a really great musician. When I got home, I stumbled into a chair, threw the chair, and put a hole in the wall.

3. I got into a screaming match with a cashier at Kroger because she was being such a colossal bitch. It’s the closest I’ve ever been to being in a physical fight.

4. In 2nd grade, I puked all over my reading book during reading group. I was wearing a shirt with a rainbow on it, never wore the shirt again.

5. I absolutely love sardines. Especially in Louisiana Hot Sauce.

6. When on spring break in LA, I saw Jack Nicholson driving around in his Jeep Grand Cherokee and Chad Lowe in a Ford Taurus.

7. I lost my wedding ring down the drain and had to call a plumber to get it out. I was so freaked out because it’s my prize possession and I’m sure Tate would have broken my thumbs.

8. I was a child model.

9. Black Bears live in my backyard.

10. Once, when doing home based speech therapy in a seedy part of Knoxville, a man kicked in the door and demanded money. I NEVER went back.

11. A few months after my sixteenth birthday, I rear-ended the short bus right in front of school. Then, I drove off.

So, whatdya think?

I told you these were not exciting. I’ve led quite an uneventful life….hmm, that sounds like a topic for a future blog.

Take your guesses! What am I lying about? I’ll post the answer and some explanations to the above (yawn) list tomorrow in lieu of Random Thoughts Friday (applause from the crowd.)