I’m just a wee bit slap happy seeing as I’ve been up since 4am. No attack of the blogging brain here, just a mind that has no trouble dreaming up things to worry about.
Thank goodness for all the worries, both rational and irrational, to get me prepared for my upcoming sleepless nights. I woke up in a panic last night worried about what would happen if I went on bedrest. Who would care for Peanut? How would I get the house in order and ready for Petunia?
This led to worries about my lack of readiness for Petunia’s arrival. WE DON’T HAVE A CRIB MATTRESS YET! This seemed like a most pressing issue in the wee hours in the morning. Nevermind, she’ll be in a bassinet at least for a while.
Then my panic continued as I started to realize that I’ll most likely deliver NEXT MONTH. Oh holy Jesus. NEXT MONTH. What the hell were we thinking having babies 18 months apart?! How am I going to take care of both of them?
My mind wasn’t finished with it’s nighttime assault. I started really worrying about Peanut’s well-being and how he’d react with Petunia’s arrival. Oh how sad I felt for him. His world, I was sure this morning, was going to come CRASHING DOWN.
I have no idea how or when I fell back to sleep. I know it wasn’t long before I heard Peanut’s chattering over the monitor.
It’s amazing how in the light of the morning the panic that had gripped me, seemed so much less pressing. I didn’t feel paralyzed with fear and worry. Things will work out. They have to. I am calm. At least until tonight.