Forgive Me Father For I’m Going to Sin

Dear Jesus,

On today, your most holy of all days, I’m so sorry for what I’m going to do. See, HBO has scheduled the last NINE episodes of The Sopranos to begin this evening. I know that it is not a very religimical show to be obsessed with watch. My most pure of hearts knows that it is a poor choice of programs to watch on Easter.

It seems wrong to be excited to find out what has been happening with a set of characters whose job it is to intimidate, murder, watch strippers, screw, and lie. The characters are supposed to be Catholic, but I doubt that they take Easter off from their crooked and evil ways. I should probably record the show and watch any day but Easter, but I DON’T THINK I CAN WAIT. It’s wrong and unholy, but I heart The Sopranos.

It’s the final season, Jesus. Please forgive me for my inability to sacrifice. I mean absolutely no disrespect to your Big Day.

I promise to pray right after the show ends. And I won’t even cuss this whole upcoming week. Well, I’ll try not to cuss this week. I definitely will try to do something really nice for someone this week. That is as long as I’m in the mood for being nice.

Amen.