Every three months I get a visit from my trusty Bug Man. I look forward to his visits, as he keeps my home relatively roach and critter free. A roach and critter free home makes me happy.
Not only is he a master bug get-ridder-of-er, he is from my hometown of Springfield, MO. So every three months I have a slightly varied conversation about Cashew Chicken, Bass Pro Shops, or how he got a ticket on his way home for Thanksgiving in 1973 because he was driving his 1972 Javelin over 100 mph.
This past week he added a whole new subject to his regular repertoire of conversation. He offered me assvice about my new baby. Who knew the Bug Man was such an expert?! I am so honored to have received his wisdom. So f*cking honored.
Did you know that you shouldn’t pick up your new baby too much or you’ll spoil her? Yep, that’s right! When Reshel cries because she’s hungry or has a crap filled diaper, or God forbid, needs some affection, I guess I should just let her lie there.
I also learned this. Putting babies to sleep on their backs isn’t necessary. Generations of children survived being put to bed on their stomachs. He IS right. I survived, you all survived. I guess there’s no need to listen to the latest research because the Bug Man sayeth otherwise.
His final pearl of wisdom was that car seats are also not completely necessary. Sure they have saved thousands of children’s lives. But babies just hate them, so therefore, it should be a law that if the baby is crying, it’s okay to hold her while the car is in motion. I wonder if the law would state that I could hold her and drive at the same time? I wonder if he offered this advice to Britney Spears?
Oh how I love unsolicited advice. Especially useful advice such as the Bug Man’s. What’s the worst advice you’ve ever gotten? (Doesn’t have to be parenting related advice…)