…Then he will demand more and more and more blackberries and refuse to eat the cinnamon toast you so carefully crafted for him.
If you carefully craft cinnamon toast for your toddler, then you will have to listen to Shel scream for several minutes while you are buttering the bread.
If you listen to Shel scream for several minutes, then you will have to take the final 800 mg prescription strength ibuprofen left over from giving birth.
If you take the 800 mg prescription strength ibuprofen, then you should remember to take your antibiotic for your mastitis, prenatal vitamin, and, er, uh, stool softeners.
If you should remember to take all your pills like a dope fiend, then you should have remembered to do laundry the day before so that you have non-maternity jeans to wear to the playdate where you’ll be meeting Megan for the first time.
If you are going to a playdate that starts at 9:30 and should leave by 8:45 to get there in time, then you will probably leave at 9:30 and arrive 45 minutes late now that you have two kids to somehow get ready in the morning.
If you have two kids to somehow get ready to leave the house, then there will be no way for you to get ready.
If you have no time to get ready, then you’ll realize that you have no time to make yourself breakfast so instead you have to eat the remnants of the carefully crafted cinnamon toast you made for your blackberry loving toddler.
(This post was inspired by If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, by Laura Numeroff)