playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren



Putting Out an APB on the SOB

Anyone seen a cute, smallish, brown teddy bear that answers to the name of Lou Bear?

Anyone?

Jeebus, here we are on day 27 of “where the hell is Lou Bear, now?”.

The little SOB looks all sweet and innocent doesn’t he? Well, he’s not.

He’s always getting himself lost. I’ve found Lou Bear in all sorts of places, including the trash can in the office, under Peanut’s crib, in my laundry basket under all the clothes, in the bottom of the toy chest, and inside the Fisher-Price barn toy’s silo. Really, it’s like having to keep track of a third child. I’m barely keeping track of two.

The soft, cuddly little shit is always trying to sneak his way into places he knows are off limits. The car, the bathtub, the sprinkler, outside…

Where the hell is that little bugger?

If I don’t find Lou Bear before naptime today, there is going to be hell to pay. I’m all outta funds, so I am desperately searching for Peanut’s beloved Lou Bear.

Who knew Lou Bear would become Peanut’s favorite possession? Obviously not me. ‘Cause had I known, I’d have had a paging system installed in that damn bear so that it wouldn’t get lost anymore.

I’ve looked everywhere and I CAN’T FIND HIM. Peanut is starting to foam at the mouth now out of sheer panic.

If Lou Bear causes yet another “no nap” day, I swear I’ll…do nothing.

Lou Bear has me by the proverbial balls. There’s nothing I can do to Lou Bear. Peanut would be devastated and end up in therapy at the tender age of two if I harmed that stupid bear in any way.

If you see Lou Bear, tell him, in a very stern voice, that he is to return home immediately if not sooner. Peanut misses him and Peanut’s Mommy is very, very mad.

Thanks for your help.

29 Comments


  1. Her Grace

    June 15, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    My blood pressure is rising just thinking about you not finding Lou Bear! In our house, it’s pacifiers that raise a similar kind of fear. We currently have three in rotation, but can only ever find one at any given moment.



  2. tulipmom

    June 15, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    The title of your post has me cracking up!

    I sincerely hope you locate Lou Bear. We have a similar thing with the “Mushy Ball” … that multi-colored stuffed ball by Gund that Sweet Boy has been using as his pillow for the past 4? 5? years. In fact, I better go make sure it’s packed. Arriving at our destination without the Mushy Ball? Been there, done that, not gonna do it again!!



  3. Sandy

    June 15, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    My son was like that with his Moo Cow. He would go into hysterics screaming “MOO, MOO, MOOOOOO!!!” The bad thing is…I can’t replace Moo either. He is a Gund and they stopped making his style number. *sigh*

    We did compromise though and got him a Mickey. We call him Traveling Mickey since when we go out we take him since he is easier to replace! He has actually gotten attached to Mickey as well and has become interchangable with Moo.

    Maybe you can try to do the same?



  4. Shelly

    June 15, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    Any chance you can buy a double, his evil twin Doo Bear perhaps?? That way you have an emergency stash when Lou goes AWOL.



  5. brandy

    June 15, 2007 at 1:21 pm

    Hmm. Jennifer do you have any sworn enemies? Anyone would like to do you harm by stealing Lou Bear and thus causing unbridled chaos in your family and prevent little Peanut from ever taking a nap again? Think about it and get back to me. I’m totally on the case.



  6. Beckie

    June 15, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    I’m holding him for ransom… Just kidding, I would never steal a child’s (I mean a parent’s) link to sanity. I am SOOOO thankful that Charity’s “comfort object” is her ear. I doubt that could be misplaced. Hope you find him! (SOON)



  7. andi

    June 15, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    Hilarious! I wish I were a stuffie bounty hunter and then I would track him down for you. Sadly, I possess no such powers as is evident from my inability to find my daughter’s baby dolls all the time (even though she has 4 of them).

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Yours is fabulous. I’ll be coming back for more laughs.



  8. Queen Heather

    June 15, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    snort.

    I hated looking for pacys and I still hate looking for stuffed animals before bed.



  9. Absolutely Bananas

    June 15, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    The naughty little bugger is probably hiding under a couch laughing at you right this minute!!



  10. Jennie

    June 15, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Oh my… how did he get into the barn’s silo???



  11. Shauna

    June 15, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    Poor Jen. Poor Peanut. Hope he turns up soon.

    If you do decide to get an imposter, rotate them so they wear down the same way, else Peanut won’t want the new one. Plus, you can keep Lou Bear and Not-Lou Bear clean by washing them.

    Good luck!



  12. Dana

    June 15, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    Oh, how I don’t miss those days! Well, I miss naptime just not searching for lost stuffed animals.



  13. Elizabeth

    June 15, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    It’s amazing what will fit in those Fisher Price farm silos, isn’t it?

    Maybe someone kidnapped Lou Bear the way they kidnap people’s garden gnomes, and soon you will get a photo in the mail of the bear having all kinds of adventures in far-away lands.



  14. Lene

    June 15, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    Hope you find him! Kids and their damn attachments!

    My DS1 is attached to a blanket (it is a good thing I bought a 2nd one!) and DS2 is attached to a stuffed animal.

    Good luck!



  15. MARFSBABY

    June 15, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Peanut probably crammed him into the VCR…did you check there? That’s where grilled cheese sandwiches always ended up at our house.



  16. Katianne

    June 15, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    I always find stuff behind the can of beans in the rotating kitchen cupboard. But not ‘Little Lightening (McQueen)’…bastard’s been gone for months now…after a gazillion search parties, my son has FINALLY moved on.

    By the way….Love your blog!



  17. Amanda

    June 15, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    Oh gosh that was funny – hope you found him! Some days I wish everything came with a built in paging system.



  18. Brillig

    June 16, 2007 at 1:57 am

    Oh, Jennifer. We’re going through a similar thing here ever since I murdered George. I’m so sorry. I hope you find the nasty little demon soon!!!



  19. tommiea

    June 16, 2007 at 3:53 am

    Livi has a bunny ( a PBK bunny that is no longer in production but sells for $60+ on Ebay)….I hauled our tired little patooties back to Will’s school today at 5PM because she left it there! There would be no sleeping this weekend if we didn’t go get it!

    I hope Lou is found, because a momma needs her sleep!



  20. moosh in indy.

    June 16, 2007 at 4:40 am

    Oh Lou Bear, did you check eBay? All sorts of woobies end up on eBay.



  21. Kim

    June 16, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Oh no, I hope you find him! Sarah is becoming very attached to a blue Carebear (she calls it her bear-bear). I’m trying to keep her from getting too attached because I don’t want to have to worry about losing it!



  22. Sandy

    June 16, 2007 at 9:56 pm

    I just had a thought…when we went to TN to visit family we lost one of his cars under the sofa. We looked and looked…and one day MONTHS later guess where my step mother found him…under the damn sofa.

    I bet he is playing games with you…



  23. Bon

    June 16, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    i think this attachment stuff is just starting at our house, and i’m frantically hoping that whatever O chooses to really, really love and depend on will be something that i can secretly buy two of, and not something, say, handmade.

    from your wisdom i now know that perhaps something with its own paging system might be good…but not the blackberry. :)



  24. mommiebear2

    June 17, 2007 at 12:16 am

    I remember doing this same thing but Claire’s was a red blankie.



  25. Cate

    June 17, 2007 at 1:40 am

    Oh my gosh, I hope Lou Bear turns up soon! Zander has a blanket that he’s been attached to since he was a couple of months old. Luckily my mother warned me to get backups…I had the same type of attachment when I was a baby, and went through quite a few blankets!

    I’ll keep my eye out for him around my neighbourhood…although I doubt he got this far! ;-)



  26. Cherann

    June 17, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Once you find Loubear, maybe you should tell peanut that Loubear doesn’t like to leave peanut’s bedroom. Or tell him the bed is loubear’s safety zone.

    I hate when I can’t find the Princess’ Lamby pie. I try to tell her to leave her in her bedroom but she forgets…



  27. EE

    June 18, 2007 at 3:20 am

    It sucks to be you right now:o



  28. kristi

    June 18, 2007 at 5:27 pm

    I feel your pain. My son’s beloved Spiderman mask is lost. I have torn the house apart looking for it. He comes up to me with those gorgeous baby blues saying, “Spiderman maks?” (not mask..maks) Poor guy.



  29. Wendy

    June 19, 2007 at 12:48 am

    When my kid attached to Ney (a horse….clever, eh?), I got a backup which we switched out from time to time, to equalize mushiness. One day, in a climbing fit, she discovered “Ney’s friend” in hiding — then I had TWO to keep track of!!! Beware the backup system!! Great Post!





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I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 4, and Ella, 2. Wife and bossaholic to my sugar daddy, Tate. I can eat my weight in nachos. On a related note, I wear Spanx.

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