My Son is a Horse’s Ass
No, really. He is a horse’s ass.
I know that I complained only last week that he’d possibly been abducted by aliens. But holy jeebus, the little shit has gotten worse. Much worse.
He has started screaming, well squealing really, when he’s unhappy. This would be less bothersome if he was rarely unhappy, but damn it to hell if he isn’t always pissed off.
Take last night at dinner, for example. He decided that bibs are for sissies and there was no way in Hell he was going to wear one. [Insert high pitched squealing here]
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF!”
By the way, we were eating dinner out. At a restaurant. With other patrons trying to enjoy their meals.
So to end the screaming, we took the bib off. Pick your battles, right?
For about, oh, I don’t know, 10 seconds…he was happy, eating salsa with his fingers, dribbling it everywhere….then suddenly realizing it was spicy and demanding water. [Insert high pitched squealing here]
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.” (wa is Carson’s way of saying water.)
Of course the water we gave him wasn’t good enough. He wanted [Insert high pitched squealing here]
“DAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAA!” (Dada’s water)
I was seconds away from dumping the whole cup of water over his squealing head. The “nice mommy” part of me intervened and I decided to just stick my tongue out at him instead. This of course led to more of his assholish, squealing behavior.
I guess that since Ella has decided to finally quit her marathon squalling sessions, Carson has taken it upon himself to take over. Lovely.
Oh, I’m feelin’ your pain. We went through a period from about 18 months through 2.5 where we would not got out to a restaurant with the twins!
Hate to tell you Jen- but I think it’s the terrible 2s coming out- DV still screams about anything at the drop of a hat- especially in public!!!
Good job not dumping the water- I have had those moments…
Is it totally wrong that I’m sitting here wishing you’d dumped the water over his head just to hear how priceless his reaction would have been?
I keep hearing about two year olds doing this, and since Little Elvis has already started shreiking in hapiness, I have a feeling I will be feeling your pain in a few months. Congrats on not dumping the water, that takes major self control.
Oh. Wow. You went out to dinner? We haven’t left the Trenches to go out to eat as a family since 2003. Literally.
As I read this all I could think was, would the water work on Ironflower or Lovebug?
I laugh knowing just where you are!
What was it that Kristen from Motherhood Uncensored says? Only one is allowed to cry at a time?
Oh you TOTALLY DESERVE A HUG, MY FRIEND.
come ovah & get one when he stops screaming lol
http://dawnandjimmy.us/blog/hugz/
My motto is, “The difficult phases will end cuz the easy ones always do!”
You are too funny
ummm, about 10 mins ago, I actually did the water over the head thing! sadly, I found it quite entertaining!
All I can say is I’m sorry and I so understand. You’re not alone.
I only with I didn’t understand. I met a high school friend for lunch (who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years) and Punkin’ totally acted an ass the whole time we were there. Several people moved to avoid us. I was so embarrassed and PISSED OFF!!!!
Luckily a Barnes & Noble was next door and we escaped to the Thomas train table and a little peace and conversation.
I just say thank god for the drive thru!
This is the age when the warm-fuzzies of parenthood are often forgotten and you begin seeing excerpts from The Exorcist in your mind each time you place your child on timeout. (Okay, so that’s me talking. But I can totally relate!)
It is a tag teamed effort I swear! If it isn’t one, it is the other.
I can’t remember the last time I took both out to eat since hubby has been gone…(10 months!) I will take one, but not two!
I hear ya, babe. *sigh* And answer me this - why is it always worse when you go out?
I feel your pain as well. Nothing like a toddler or preschooler and a baby in a pissy mood. Our three year old is hell on wheels most days. When will it end?
Why do we sleep with our husbands? It leads no where good. Ever. At least nowhere a treadmill can’t take me.
i find that if it isn’t one it is the other, but at least when one is really bad, the other is ok…right
We’re roughing it right now too!
Yeeeaaaaaah.
Feelin’ your pain, friend.
That squealing can send me over the edge. Sometimes I just squeal with them.
Three of the MANY reasons I love you:
1) You actually posted a picture of a horse’s ass.
2) You used the phrases “holy jeebus” and “little shit”.
3) You crack me up.
I feel your pain. If only it didn’t lead to such hysterical blog fodder, I would wish it away for you.
Isn’t it nice how the devil plays musical children. I don’t think it ever stops. Just when you think you’ve got the handle on one child’s evil behavior, it jumps over to the other one.
do you think maybe he’s trying to act like a baby because of the new baby???
The Princess has reverted back to baby talk.
Is it wrong that i laughed? He sounds like a crazy one
. I cannot get either kid to wear a bib , have resorted to old shirts of mine (the pre first pregnancy ones that i kept in the hope that one day they may fit again).