One year ago, I joined. The lure of the good life is what sucked me in. I was sure they would take care of me, but now I’m realizing that they don’t care about me at all.
But I don’t know how to leave.
I fear I may have to go into some sort of protection program, every move I make they are there. I’m trapped. I can’t escape. They are out to get me.
I’m afraid to even go to my mailbox. I know they’ll be there, waiting, mocking, demanding action. My email has also been attacked. I’m not safe anywhere.
Today is the day, though. I’m going to do it. I’m going to quit…the Children’s Book of the Month Club.
I realize full well that it’s a process that will take months, if not years to complete. They’ll continue to send their reply cards, I’ll continue to send them back, refusing the shoddy books they offer.
It’s foolish to have ever joined. TEN BOOKS for only a PENNY! God, how could I be so stupid! The shipping is where they get you, charging an arm and a leg AND threatening to send Tony Soprano and Christopher Moltisanti to break your thumbs if you don’t pay!!
The books they send are of the poorest of quality. Like the fake Louis Vuitton purse you buy out of the back of a tractor-trailer on the side of the road. Or the Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses purchased at a flea market. These books are flimsy, the pages rip easily, and I suspect printed in China and probably contaminated with LEAD.
I must get out and NOW! Wish me luck. If you don’t hear from me in a few days, contact the Feds and show them this post.
*********
Thanks for your suggestions from yesterday’s post! I’m going to send a slightly altered version of the letter to the store and their corporate headquarters. I’ll keep you posted.
Blue Momma
August 23, 2007 at 1:11 pm
I successfuly extricated myself from the BMG Music Club, but it was quite a drawn out experience, with much begging and emailing on their part.
The Good Cook continues to stalk me. I should send them a bill for my garbage pickup as most of it is their constant pleading to get me back.
Losers.
Julie B.
August 23, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Good luck! Been there done that! Be strong…You can do it!!!
Christina
August 23, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I worried we’d never get out of the Columbia DVD club. They kept changing the rules on us, locking us into their club forever. But after several failed attempts, we were successful. Moving away helped. I feel bad for the current residents at that mailing address.
Good luck, and be strong!
Sandy
August 23, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I know your pain. I actually joined Scholastic book club. I almost never got them to stop sending me crap. It was the same…7 books for a penny. What they don’t tell you is they send out your next shipment before they get your other payment so it can take a few tries to cancel if you just send them a note. Calling was useless as the line was always BUSY.
Oh well….Live and learn.
Absolutely Bananas
August 23, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Ha ha! Good luck! They are like the mob.
Her Grace
August 23, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I once wrote CBOMC a nasty letter when I got my shipment and was charged $25 for shipping. They’re reply?
“The charge is for shipping AND handling.”
Oh, well that explains it. Because honest shipping on those books would have been about $8, but now that you’ve added HANDLING, well, I’ll gladly pay another $17 for that.
Ridiculous.
Tessie
August 23, 2007 at 3:16 pm
This reminds me of the Friends episode where Chandler tries to quit the gym. Finally he is just like “Screw it! They can have my $50 a month for the rest of my life!”
Sarah
August 23, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Somewhere lurking in the deep, dark depths of the Children’s BOM Club is a 1-800 number you can call to cancel your membership. I’ve been there, done that.
You mean, the “Chanel” sunglasses my mom just bought for me on Canal Street in NYC are FAKE? But they have diamonds on the sides! Wait…those are fake too?!
mamaDB
August 23, 2007 at 3:36 pm
This made me laugh out loud. You kill me. You just kill me.
MH
August 23, 2007 at 4:45 pm
They caught me in this trap too. They are still sending me their information but I’ve completed my commitment. I just bought some books and decided they would be gifts (shitty gifts, but gifts nonetheless)
I wish you the best of luck in your quest.
Jean
August 23, 2007 at 5:34 pm
They got me to..those bastards! Hubs growls at me when they send their hefty bill. Thing is it’s a pain in the ass to ship that crap back so your pretty much stuck. Let us know how and if you got out from under their wrath.
Heather
August 23, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Now the secret is out. The Children’s book of the month club is in cahoots with us devil worshipers
Devan
August 23, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Oh yes, I’m a member. I have found that I don’t reply at all, but just keep sending their books back – unopened. My post office told me that if I don’t open them and just refuse the package, it goes back and THEY have to pay the shipping. heehee
I’ve tried to cancel several times, but it always seems futile. *sigh*
They’ve finally stopped sending me books though, thanks to me costing them double shipping.
Dana
August 23, 2007 at 6:58 pm
get out while you can!!! you know the Library has books for FREE..can you beleive it!
Brillig
August 23, 2007 at 7:17 pm
I’m crossing my fingers for you, Jennifer. This is scary stuff… We’ll send out a search party if we don’t hear from you soon, and we’ll pray that we don’t find your dismembered body and the bottom of the ocean. Yikes! Who knew book clubs were so terrifying?
RWA
August 23, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Just like 10 CD’s for the price of one, 5 DVD’s for one and so on…
If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.
I can’t imagine the complaints and the hate mail those companies get.
But, they obviously don’t care.
Jennie
August 23, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Good luck! I think those evil companies get rich on the people who don’t have time to escape their contracts- like us busy moms!
myminivanisfasterthanyours
August 23, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Those purses are FAKE? I’ve been HAD!
Thirty-One Trendy
August 23, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Who knew Curious George and Babar were part of the Syndicate.
Mrs. Chicken
August 23, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Oh, how funny – I just wrote about this on my review blog!
Hope you make it out alive.
Mommy Daisy
August 23, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Good luck. I’m just glad I never joined one of those. I looked into a few, but decided I probably didn’t want to deal with them. Like someone else already said…the library has great books. I finally started braving taking my toddler. He’s satisfied with a few board books while I find something for myself. And we have them for a month, then get something new. He loves it!
Kim
August 24, 2007 at 1:59 am
Why exactly do all of us moms fall for the lure of the books for pennies tactic? Deep down we know there is a catch. A big, pricey catch that will eventually bite us in the butt and the pocket book.
Oh well. We live and learn and then we fall for the next cleverly disguised parent trap.
Kim @ TheBitterBall
Serina Hope
August 24, 2007 at 2:20 am
God, I am so glad now that I held myself back and resisted the 10 books for ten cents. I knew in my bitter heart that it was too good to be true. Good luck!
andi
August 24, 2007 at 3:10 am
Eek! I’m so happy I resisted the lure of this evil book club. Run for your life, woman.
Mrs. Mustard
August 24, 2007 at 3:19 am
It reminds me of this:
“I wanna quit the bank!”
Care to guess where that’s from?
Slackermommy
August 24, 2007 at 4:35 am
This brings back memories of when I joined after having my first kid. I thought that’s what moms did.
jeanie
August 24, 2007 at 6:17 am
Ha ha ha.
Also note, NEVER go for those “25 easy pieces and free binder with the first volume” – takes but a minute or two to work out that the cookbook you will assemble at $4.95 a piece (special introductory offer $1.95 for the first volume with FREE BINDER) actually will cost $120.75 – or would have, had I sat down with a calculator and not been pregnant at the time…
mommyof2galz
August 24, 2007 at 12:32 pm
LOL! Say good-bye
~JJ!
August 24, 2007 at 12:35 pm
God I had to move to get out of the CD club I joined from years back…I don’t envy you.
Oh, The Joys
August 24, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Gah! They are evil and they will NEVER release you. (Mother F*ckers.)
WhatWorksForMom
August 24, 2007 at 3:28 pm
This is so hilarious.
Seriously, Heidi Murkoff needs to add a chapter to the “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” book just to avoid this crap.
LOL! Good Luck…
Lil
August 24, 2007 at 3:44 pm
feel like posting a review of Children’s Book Club of the Month on a review site for children’s/baby products? Get the word out? Contact me if you’re interested.
moodswingingmommy
August 26, 2007 at 9:08 pm
LOL! Um, good luck with that. I’m actually stunned that I haven’t been sucked into that one, but I do have a 3 yr subscription to Parents. Just had to have the cute bowl and spoon.
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