Tate is sick.
Need I say more? Oh, but I can’t resist.
Welcome to my own version of Hell. (Based on Dante’s Inferno.) Care to join me?
First circle: Teething
Second circle: Tantruming toddler who acts like a horse’s ass.
Third circle: Day in, day out monotony of life with children who require naps, some requiring frequent naps, and nap fighting (if they’re tired, why won’t they JUST SLEEP?)
Fourth circle: The TV show, Hi-5
Fifth circle: No showers or any sort of grooming for that matter because there is NO TIME since the rest of my time is spent getting children down for naps (heh), preparing meals, or singing the Hi-5 theme song.
Sixth circle: Noise making toys purchased by grandparents and people who don’t have children.
Seventh circle: Colic.
Eighth circle: Tate, sick. (Please note that this is the DEEPEST level of Hell, even worse than colic.)
This is only my current version of Hell. I strongly suspect that many of the circles will cease to exist only to replaced with these:
*Shit smearing children
*children who slam their doors when they don’t get their way and they are generally assholes at this pre-pubescent age
*back talking preteens
*back talking teens
*curfew breaking teens
I really could go on and on.
Tate being sick will always be the deepest level of Hell, though. Always.
Ugh – I can’t even think of anything quippy because it sounds so tortuous.
I think it’s in these moments that we need to turn to the fine examples set by our foremothers and pop some perscription meds and have a martini.
(Oh, wait, I did think of something quippy – but I still don’t evny your torture – hang in there!)
I feel for you. I agree, sick husbands are the WORST. And mine is a doc, so not only do I get sick husband, but I get bad patient! ugh.
oh man…I so hope it passes soon.
The Pro was sick…he got Fa sick…I’m am next…But I’ll be sick on vacation…they’ll be better by then.
Put that in one of your circles of hell for me please!
Is there ever an end to parenting hell? Or are we just trading one circle for another for ever and ever?
I will pray for you.
LOL
I hope he gets better soon…so you can get better soon.
Amen Sister,I have been to hell and back again many a time.
Ah, yes, nothing can compare to a sick man. That is the worst level of hell.
What have you done to anger the Circle of Hell gods so? I am so sorry for you!!
Oh, unfortunately I totally relate, and don’t envy you right now. When Hubby is sick, it always, always, results in me begging him to go the the urgent care to get rehydrated, him saying now then finally when he is on the very far edge of my last nerve, telling me he needs to go to the emergency room…in the middle of the night.
We put caution tape on the door, and I enter with gloves, and sleep with the kids.
It is not fun to be around him. SO I totally relate about nothing being worse than a sick husband.
I’m so sorry…
You have my sympathies. Mine was sick one day last week and it nearly killed him. Oh, did I say “it”? I meant me.
What really sucks is that if we get sick, we just have to suck it up and keep on working just like every other day.
Whenever I’m sick my husband gets these “sympathy pains” and starts complaining. It seems to work well for him; maybe you should try it?!
I feel for you. The first sentence said IT ALL!
Oh the price we pay for having sex!
At least you didn’t include UNCLES who purchase noisy toys as a circle of Hell.
I feel safe now.
oh man, that really sucks. Hope things improve sharpish.
Men are the biggest babies of all! Not fun when they are sick!
Hang in there!!!!
You’ve got my sympathy! At least children (well, YOUNG children) don’t try to milk it for all it’s worth.
LOL!
I’m so sorry about your hell right now. I hope that all circles resolve themselves quickly so you can regain your sanity.
Not to add to your hell, but have the kids been watching Yo Gabba Gabba? If not, I suggest you get them hooked immediately (well at least the older one). Having Jo Jo hooked on this has been a welcome change from the hell that is Hi-5.
Worse than a sick hubby? One who won't quit whining about his 2 second prostate exam! Try bearin' all for an ugly dude who keeps saying "scooch down" even as your bare ass is in mid air while he fishes around for God knows what for 20 minutes every 12 months for the rest of your life! Or as long as you have a vagina anyway.
Cyn
ASCEND!!!
That sounds rugh, hopefully it’s just one of those 24 hour things!
Hope Tate feels better already!
So very sorry that Tate isn’t feeling well.
There’s a present, of sorts, waiting for you over at my place.
Wow, I never knew there was an American Hi-5! I just thought it was an Australian thing.
Agreed that husbands being sick is the deepest level of hell.
There is nothing like a sick husband to make you reconsider your marriage vows.
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
Oy. That sucks. I just hope you don’t get it… I think that’s worse – you and Tate being sick.
Take care.
“NORTH SOUTH EAST AND WEST…LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!” Even the baby will stand up and dance to “Hi-5.” I disagree-I think it is an aspect of every circle.
*children who slam their doors when they don’t get their way and they are generally assholes at this pre-pubescent age
*back talking preteens
Are you reading my mind? These are my circles of hell right now!
Three year old (Friday!) with chicken pox.
Does that get it’s own ring of hell or what?
Bummer. That’s all I can say, really…hope it ends soon!
Sounds horrible:) I will hope for a quick recover.. For them and for you!!
I think this is probably one of the most clever analogies I’ve ever seen! I’ve been there, done that, and feel your pain!!
That sounds awful.
The good news is — is that hopefully everything and everyone is on the up and up.
This post alone explains the mid-week drinking binge. Hope some of those circles have dropped away. (And my sympathy to you regarding the sick husband. Not to the husband because if he’s like most he’s been giving himself enough sympathy…)
Crack me up! I clicked on “horse’s ass” I can totally relate to that right now. My almost 2-year-old is a MAJOR PAIN IN MY ASS! Great post!
My three wonderful children are 8,18, and 21. You have many more rings of HELL!! I’ve seen all of them and I’m not looking forward to seeing it again!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
Oh no…I hate that 8th circle….been there….didn’t like it.
Hopefully Tate is better soon!
According to DH, the 4th circle of hell is his job.
Maybe he and you should have a talk. Set his mind straight.
[...] she was just being polite by checking me out and leaving me a comment. I believe it was this one http://playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com/2007/08/29/forget-dantes-circles-of-hell/ I still laugh when I read it. I have had to do a little research to find it. She was so helpful. I [...]
hey guys, no bad talks on Dr. husbands….they are cute, and you get medicine for free