Let’s just say that a certain wife, a very organized and seasoned professional wife/mother/domestic engineer, had plans on a Saturday, leaving a certain husband in charge.
What if this wife offered a few suggestions to make this husband’s job of caring for two children easier and more efficient? Having lots of experiences with trial and error, she’d figured out the best procedures to complete the daily tasks related to childcare.
Situation 1: Diaper Changes
Soon after Carson is awake, he needs a diaper change. (As in: as soon as he’s out of his crib.) He will fuss and vehemently deny a wet diaper, but it must be changed nonetheless. If the diaper isn’t changed, you’ll find a giant pee mark on the sofa (making more work later).
When Carson protests later on in the morning about needing another diaper change, it’s just easier to bring a diaper and the wipes to wherever he’s playing and change him there.
Situation 2: Breakfast
Carson eats out of the yellow bowl because it’s sides are high enough that he can actually scoop cereal onto his spoon rather than all over the table and floor (making more work for later.)
He prefers to eat off of the green spoon, but not the green spoon with yellow dots. The plain green spoon. If you give him a red or purple spoon, he’ll yell (LOUDLY) and throw the spoon of the floor (making more work for later).
Carson likes Honey Bunches of Oats (1/3 of a bowl…no more than that, it’ll just go to waste) and a tiny bit of Kashi Go Lean Crunch. He also gets half of a banana, sliced bananas on his cereal. Eventhough he used to eat bananas without slicing them, now he won’t. If you just give it to him without slicing it, he’ll smear it on the table and get banana between his fingers and eventually in his hair (making more work for later).
Ella gets 3 tablespoons of oatmeal mixed with the remaining half of Carson’s banana, mashed well with a fork. If it’s really dry, mix in 1 ounce of formula. You can make just one ounce by mixing just 1/2 scoop of the powder and 1 ounce of water. Use the water from the refrigerator since it’s filtered. It’s really easy to measure an ounce of water in the blue (or purple) Gerber cup.
Situation 3: Loading the dishwasher
The kids’ utensils go in the basket on the top rack. If they’re put in the basket on the bottom rack, they’ll fall out during the wash cycle (making more work for later).
The bowls go in the back of the top shelf. If they are put in the front part of the rack, they flip over during the wash cycle and don’t get washed properly. There ends up being dirty dishwater and nasty food chunks in the bowl (making more work for later).
Situation 4: Getting dressed
Don’t ask Carson what he wants to wear! He’ll change his mind about thirty trillion times and throw a mongo fit. Just pick out an outfit and put it on him.
The clothes on the right sides of both of their closets are the ones that fit, not the clothes on the left side. Those are too big.
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Incredibly helpful suggestions? A certain husband would benefit from and appreciate these ideas.
OR
Nagging and maniacal? A certain wife has deep seeded control issues.
(I’m not saying that a certain wife actually offered these suggestions, this scenario is purely hypothetical.)
I think it’s helpful. But if the day does come for me to leave them in his care (please come soon!)
i know the instructions would fall on deaf ears and they’d watch tv all day and eat cookies for every meal.
Not so bad considering those days are few and far between!
ugh.
though very helpful and so true, i have learned through trial and error to just relinquish my my control. in the end what’s going to happen will happen. this way, i am stuck on the fact that i told him and he didn’t listen. ultimately he’s going to do what works for him. great post!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha! That was me about 2 or 3 kids ago. Brilliant.
Seriously,hilarious.
You know I’m preggers with the
5th boy,right?WhenHubs “babysits” it is something out of ‘Animal House’. If I come home and the house is still in reasonably good shape, I can’t complain.
I just put extra lotion on the babies bottom and hope he checks often.
I’m just happy to get a break!
I knew I liked you for a reason – you’re just like me!
Here’s the honest truth: you can’t win. If you don’t make the list, he’ll do things in the less-efficient way, causing more work for later. If you do make the list, he’ll resent it and try to prove you wrong by doing things differently, causing more work for later.
Just be prepared for a mess to clean up when you get home.
I make a list. Write everything down. I would leave the bowls and spoons needed out on the counter. All 3 of the boys clothes are laid out. Along with the shoes for the day. I have an emergency bag packed, with first aid kit. Just in case. I go way overboard and I know it. Popeye knows and accepts my crazyness. SO, no I think you are doing what any loving wife and mother would do….
See, I think this would be very helpful, if I was a babysitter, for example, these are thing I’d like to know. But this morning after I asked Steve if he’d packed Til’s snack, and packed her a spoon for lunch, and he was giving me that look, I told him about this post and he just laughed and laughed…
Very Helpful BUT…you have to understand that, like children, Men have to learn the hard way. You can write it down and stress how this will keep down the workload/messload, but in the end they have to find out for themselves. And when they complain that their way didn’t work to well (i.e. the spot on the couch, banana everywhere, etc). , just smile and say that there was, in fact, a reason for your madness when you gave him the list.
I love your list! That is something I would do.. only my hubby would laugh at me for doing it:)
Mine would have come back at me with an equal number of helpful hints about the things he’s figured out work or don’t. He would listen to those hints only *after* experiencing them for himself. As in ‘don’t fix it until *after* it’s broke’. So yours might have a greater appreciation of the list *after* trying it his way for a day (heehee!)
Men don’t like to be “helped.”
They just like to complain to you later about (WAAAHHHHH) how *dificult* it was to (WAHHHHH) take care of the kids while you were gone.
I loved your list.
I loooooo-ho-ho-oooove this list.
All the commenters have covered the angles. I have no experience yet so the fact that my first thought was — Brilliant, give him the list! — probably shows my status.
I like the idea of letting him work it out himself, especially if you install a few nanny-cams for posterity. Kidding.
That one who said he’ll figure out something you never thought of is probably right.
Short comment longer… I once gave a friend some relationship advice, long before I’d had a relationship longer than a few months (!!! — that’s how advice is sometimes). I told her to stop giving her husband instructions or advice, unless asked, for one week.
During that same week, she had to also repeat this mantra to herself: (name of husband) is beautiful (noh) is perfect.
If she had problems with either task, she was to make a list of her fears (i.e.: what he needed to be told, why he wasn’t perfect) and call me to read it.
Within a few days, the couple was having sex again — four days in a row — (a rarity post baby-number-two), he’d taken out the garbage without nagging, and he’d made a plan for his job search (you can imagine how she’d been trying to “help” with that).
Now that I have my own husband to instruct and nag, I find it hard to remember and follow this little solution I gave her, but I like to remember how happy it made them, and share it with others from time to time…
lol Ok, I may have to go with the Queen on this too. TOO much “suggestion” leads to that certain husband feeling rather… ummmmmimmmmasculated lol
But still – I KNOW exactly what you mean in this purely hypothetical situation.