Rice, Rice Baby

We were out of rice cereal so I headed up to the grocery store to get more.

I jokingly thought to myself that it would be just my luck that they’d be out of rice cereal, the lone item that I needed.  It wouldn’t be the first time the grocery store had been out of something I really needed.  In fact, they are always out of something I need.   I used to make my grocery lists from the sale ads but had to stop because I was starting to lose clumps of hair every time they would be out of EVERY SINGLE sale item I’d planned my meals around for the week.

Here’s a very brief synopsis of the repeat offenders:

Whenever I want to make Italian Beef, they are always out of pepperocinis.  It’s the MAIN ingredient!   Why is there suddenly a rush on pepperocinis the week I decide to make Italian Beef???

Purina Dog Chow.  They either have zillions of bags when I’m all stocked up on dog food or they are all flat sold out whenever my dogs must have food.  Is all of Shitty Town, AL on the same dog feeding schedule as me???

Great Value Brand black beans as opposed to the high falutin’ name brand black beans.  Why oh why must I always have to fork over the extra 30 cents a can?  It’s WAL-FART for crying out loud and GREAT VALUE is their SIGNATURE brand!

Ovaltine.  (Just kidding!  NOBODY except me and Carson even drink it!) 

Oh lawd, I could go on and on (Suave shampoo, sleek formula; Pepsi One, Clorox Anywhere Spray…) but I should stop seeing as I’m getting a little worked up here.

So back to my quest for rice cereal.  Those of you Sherlock Holmes types reading this have probably figured out that the grocery store was out of RICE CEREAL.  How is that even possible???  Did a pack of ravenously hungry six months olds come in and rob them blind?  Typically there are hundreds, if not thousands of boxes of rice cereal, but this time there was not even ONE stinkin’ box.  All that was left was the messy crumb remnants on the shelf.

I thought the vein in the side of my head was going to explode.  The one damn thing I needed and they were out of it!  AND!  It’s RICE FLIPPIN’ CEREAL!   As it would happen, one of the very young store employees passed by and could tell I was a smidgen perturbed.  This teenager asked if he could help me find anything.

“Rice.  Cereal.  You are seriously not out of it?”

“No, Ma’am.  I think it’s over here, I’ll take you to it.”

I thought to myself that this young man was awfully sweet to be taking me the the elusive rice cereal.  “Maybe they’re rearranging the store and moving baby items somewhere else,”  I silently wondered.

He led me to the cereal aisle and stopped in front of the Rice Krispies. 

“Here you go, Ma’am.  Rice cereal.”

*Sigh.*

51 Responses to Rice, Rice Baby
  1. Cathy
    January 15, 2008 | 6:37 am

    Ha!
    I’ve got two boxes here that we’re not using. I made the grand switch to oatmeal, but apparently hubby didn’t get that memo and continues to buy rice cereal.

    Cathy’s last blog post..I Hate New England or Saturday Night at Our House

  2. LifeAsIKnowIt
    January 15, 2008 | 8:07 am

    I had to laugh at this one. My kids drink Ovaltine! It’s what they think chocolate milk is. shhhhh, don’t tell!

    And yes, stores are always out of the thing you need. I think they secretly plan this so that you’ll come back 5 times in one week.

    LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..Crustacean Goodness

  3. Dallas
    January 15, 2008 | 8:15 am

    So I shouldn’t admit that until reading this post, if you sent me to the store to get rice cereal, I would have come back with Rice Krispies?

  4. CourtneyRyan369
    January 15, 2008 | 8:46 am

    Without fail, the Wal-mart near me is out of something I need…luckily there are no less than 3 within about 10 min of my house. Unluckily that means I buy other stuff.

    And I once watched my uncle actually bring home Hannaford Brand Crispy Rice for his 6 month old. His thought was they could just crush it into smaller pieces.

    CourtneyRyan369′s last blog post..Weekends could be longer you know…

  5. Karly
    January 15, 2008 | 8:56 am

    HA! I totally wasn’t expecting that. I’m still laughing.

    Karly’s last blog post..Smooth

  6. Jean
    January 15, 2008 | 9:03 am

    It must be a WIC conspiracy. Usually the first or second week of the month..the main kind of baby formula, rice cereal, bottled juice, peanut butter, it’s all usually gone around this time. Darn you WIC and your wicked ways.

  7. Swistle
    January 15, 2008 | 9:07 am

    This–THIS–is one of the main reasons I hate Hork-Mart. They are always out of what I need, and they don’t stock it again for months. Can she have oat cereal? We’ve been doing oat.

    Swistle’s last blog post..Ventlet

  8. Mandie
    January 15, 2008 | 9:18 am

    Sorry to say, but do you honestly expect any better from Wal Mart?? Just wait til you have Meijer. :)

  9. Sandy
    January 15, 2008 | 9:38 am

    I think we ended up switching to Oatmeal around that time too…or at least a blend of both rice and oatmeal.

    And, like you already know…Walmart sucks a*ss.

    We have a similar issue with our Walmart AND our normal Grocery (PA won’t allow a Super Walmart so we can’t really do a lot of grocery shopping there)…they are always out of Babyhead’s size Huggies. I only buy Huggies for him because they are the only ones he doesn’t leak out of and dammit they never have his size! They will have the size BIGGER…but not his size. P*isses me off. We just finally gave up and just buy them at Babies R Us now. It is more expensive but at least we are guaranteed the correct Huggies.

    Sandy’s last blog post..What was that?

  10. Mandy
    January 15, 2008 | 9:52 am

    I’ll second the other Mandie in reminding you that you will be close to a Meijer.
    They really are much better than Wally World all around.

    Mandy’s last blog post..Take my house – please

  11. canape
    January 15, 2008 | 9:53 am

    Soon. Very soon. You will leave the land of the tiny IQ’s.

    canape’s last blog post..Up for interpretation

  12. MH
    January 15, 2008 | 11:11 am

    I feel your pain, lady! After dealing with the stinking pool of sess(sp) that is Wal-Mart, it is indescribably disturbing for them to dare be out of anything. From the time I enter their parking lot, I get hives.

  13. ~JJ!
    January 15, 2008 | 11:15 am

    What the hell does the sales person know???

    That happens to me too…Only the crap I am addicted to though…

    ~JJ!’s last blog post..Frisky Kitten

  14. Teri
    January 15, 2008 | 11:44 am

    Yeah – I got unused boxes in my cupboard too!

    My oldest is allergic to egg so I often go looking for egg replacer (it’s a powder in the baking aisle) – I often get told the “Egg Beaters” are in the fridge section (Egg beaters actually have EGG in them. Therefore, my son would die. But thank you.)

    Teri’s last blog post..Party…like it’s your birthday….drink Bacardi….like it’s your birthday

  15. Bill
    January 15, 2008 | 11:45 am

    Please tell me the polite but stoopid young man said, “Ma’am If you’ve got a problem, yo I’ll solve it” before he lead you to the cereal aisle.

    Bill’s last blog post..Paul is Dead: Understanding the Words That Are Coming Out of Your Child’s Mouth

  16. Someone Being Me
    January 15, 2008 | 11:45 am

    I’m sorry. I have no less than 3 unopened boxes of Rice cereal in my pantry. Would you like me to send one from Texas? I find if there is a dish that I make a lot I usually buy double the stuff to make it so that next time I want it I have the ingredients on hand. I also have a couple of jars of pepperocinis. I promise I’m in Texas and had nothing to do with the empty shelves in your grocery store.

    Someone Being Me’s last blog post..Just call me Mrs. Baird

  17. Rachel
    January 15, 2008 | 11:55 am

    OMFG! That is so hilarious that I actually snorted…Thank you.

    Rachel’s last blog post..What a day!

  18. RWA
    January 15, 2008 | 12:01 pm

    SURELY y’all have another grocery store SOMEWHERE in town.

    RWA’s last blog post..If I had a band

  19. mrs. mustard
    January 15, 2008 | 12:02 pm

    Touché, pimply-teenaged employee. Touché.

    mrs. mustard’s last blog post..The circle of greener grass

  20. Beckie
    January 15, 2008 | 12:02 pm

    It’s funny, but just last night I was thinking about how Walmart is ALWAYS out of something I went there for. (Can’t remember what it was last night, but of course, since I live 15 miles from a store, it is IMPOSSIBLE for a store to have every item that I need!)

  21. tommie
    January 15, 2008 | 12:08 pm

    Great summary of my weekly trip to the commissary.

    When they do have something in stock I always run out of, I buy three of them! Eeks, I promise I did not stock up on rice cereal!

    tommie’s last blog post..If you ask a Husband to get you a scanner….

  22. Burgh Baby's Mom
    January 15, 2008 | 12:36 pm

    Oh, how I feel your pain. The Toddler only like banana-flavored rice cereal and, of course, only Wally World sells it. Do you know how many times I went through needless torture squeezing through the aisles full of crap only to find there was no cereal that day? Many, many times. Thank goodness the rice cereal phase was short at our house. I’da had to kill somebody. Maybe the clerk that offered you Rice Krispies.

    Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..She’s Going to Interrupt My Boyfriend Wentworth Three Times

  23. tulipmom
    January 15, 2008 | 12:56 pm

    At least that moron didn’t tell you that the Rice Cereal was discontinued. That seems to be Giant’s (our grocery’s) standard response lately. Three times in the past month they’ve told me an item has been discontinued … only for me to discover they just stopped carrying it. Supermarket hopping is so much fun :(

    tulipmom’s last blog post..Middle of the Night Musings

  24. amy
    January 15, 2008 | 1:13 pm

    Hee Hee.

    Frustrating I know. My husband took over grocery shopping when I had “issues” recovering from birthing The Bear and I’ve not let him stop (sucka!). I’ve been to the grocery like 5 times in the last year.

    amy’s last blog post..Old Enough To See Behind Me

  25. Devan
    January 15, 2008 | 1:17 pm

    Ahhhaaaahaaaa. Not a productive trip, but amusing.

    Devan’s last blog post..Beautiful Baby

  26. Anglophile Football Fanatic
    January 15, 2008 | 1:25 pm

    Just think, when you move to Indy, bye bye to Walhell!! Did you even bother correcting junior? Rice Crispies? Freaking moron.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Benadryl Brain at Two o’clock

  27. Anglophile Football Fanatic
    January 15, 2008 | 1:26 pm

    Where’d my comment go? It is awol??

    So, again I will say. Just think in a few weeks, in Indy, you can shop at a normal store. Bye bye to wallyhell.

    Did you try to draw a picture for junior? Cause seriously, they need to move him to greeter.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Benadryl Brain at Two o’clock

  28. Veronica
    January 15, 2008 | 3:15 pm

    The ONE thing you needed. So not fair.

    Also? How the hell did they run out of rice cereal? You could empty out a supermarket and there would still be rice cereal left on the shelves.

    Veronica’s last blog post..The T-shirt Debate

  29. Queen of Shake Shake
    January 15, 2008 | 3:46 pm

    Stupid stores.

    You and I should run the world. Then every item we need each week WILL be in the store.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..We Plead the Fifth

  30. OHmommy
    January 15, 2008 | 3:47 pm

    Oh. Say it isn’t so. Seriously?

    LOL!!!

    OHmommy’s last blog post..Marta the Mexican Orphan

  31. Sarah @ Ordinary Days
    January 15, 2008 | 5:13 pm

    Oh those poor young ones without children. They know so little…

    Sarah @ Ordinary Days’s last blog post..Sometimes You Just Gotta Squeeze ‘Em!

  32. Miss
    January 15, 2008 | 5:25 pm

    LMAO. Well… maybe its a good thing that the kid didn’t know what you meant. Youth of America and all that.

    This happens to me a lot. I hate it.

    Miss’s last blog post..This award show is NOT getting canceled!

  33. justmylife
    January 15, 2008 | 5:46 pm

    And how hard did you slap this child who got your hopes up? That was so funny, I know how you feel. Of course it is only funny if it happens to somebody else!

    justmylife’s last blog post..An update on the boy….

  34. Worker Mommy
    January 15, 2008 | 5:59 pm

    Ha, I love it. It kind of reminds me when I went to the semi annual sale put on by my mom of twins clubs and asked one of the helpers where the pottys were.
    Mind you I didn’t have my kids with me. I was just by myself. She began to tell me, through that door and take a left…. I realized she was directing me to the bathrooms…but I was actually looking for potty seats to train my children.
    I guess it was an honest enough mistake.

    Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Waa-Waa-Waa, Whine, Whine…that’s all you’ll hear here.

  35. Christina
    January 15, 2008 | 6:58 pm

    I shop at three different grocery stores, with the weekly choice depending on which is closest when I remember I need to go to the grocery. And I have the same problem – the item I need the most is the one they’re sure to be out of.

    It’s not fair.

    Christina’s last blog post..Still Running On Fumes

  36. andi
    January 15, 2008 | 7:17 pm

    That always happens to me! There’s nothing I like more than slogging two wee children to more than one store to get all my items. My repeat offender is artichoke hearts. I love them dearly – who knew so many people up here in Redneck Central felt the same way?

    andi’s last blog post..A belated angry letter to the man in red

  37. Meredith
    January 15, 2008 | 7:19 pm

    We have the same problem with the Safeway and Rite-Aid near us.
    We did a “Rice, rice baby” music video of Little Elvis when he first started eating rice cereal. It makes us smile, so here’s a link – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2xLi3t-vzE
    Maybe it’ll help you forget about the lack of everything on your shopping list.

  38. the new girl
    January 15, 2008 | 7:47 pm

    BWWAAHAHA.

    I SO didn’t see that coming.

    Hilarious.

    AND frustrating.

    the new girl’s last blog post..Just Forget What I Said

  39. JKemp
    January 15, 2008 | 8:19 pm

    Don’t know how I ended up here, just passing through….originally from AL and loved living in the beautiful town of Fairhope/Montrose in my younger days…surely it’s not all that bad!! :0)

    Being a southern transplant, maybe you can identify with this blogger…it gave me more than a couple of laughs!

    http://khakidawg.blogspot.com/

    Oh, yeah, LOVE me some Suave sleek shampoo….”smoothes as well as Matrix”!

  40. phyllis
    January 15, 2008 | 8:25 pm

    it’s not nice of me to laugh at your pain but i was, i’m sorry!

    mush up the rice krispies? yeah, probably not.

    i make ovaltine for hot chocolate for the kiddos. they love it! actually (secret here) i make myself ovaltine and put in a nice shot of bailey’s…in my own odd way of thinking, i’m getting my vitamins as well as other, ahem, necessary things.

    phyllis’s last blog post..Go Veg? and GIVEAWAY!

  41. Bon
    January 15, 2008 | 8:41 pm

    see…that giggle? that was good for me. :)

    and kids love Rice Krispies! jeez, don’t let Ella get behind on developing a taste for all things branded and packaged!

    Bon’s last blog post..requiem

  42. Jessa
    January 15, 2008 | 8:49 pm

    I just had to chuckle…rice cereal=rice krispies.

    Jessa’s last blog post..Not So Magic Dough

  43. Smiling Mom
    January 16, 2008 | 12:23 am

    Take your food processor, grind up some rice, put in a 1/2 cup or more of water on the stove, put in the ground up rice and walah! You have rice cereal!

    Smiling Mom’s last blog post..What a small world

  44. Loralee
    January 16, 2008 | 11:53 am

    DOLE PLASTIC BOTTLED PEACHES.

    ALWAYS out at WalMart because they are the cheapest price in the valley.

    It pisses me off on days like today when I am sick and that is all I want. :(

    Loralee’s last blog post..No, no, NO!

  45. Rachel
    January 16, 2008 | 3:31 pm

    Blender full of vanilla ice cream, 1 cup (or so) cold coffee, 2 Tbsp ovaltine, dash of vanilla, 1/2 Cup’ish’ milk.
    Blend until shake texture.
    (the measurements are flexible)

    Voila… manna from heaven (aka) coffee malt.
    It is why god created Ovaltine. Seriously. I despise Coffee, I am disturbingly addicted to this creation. We grew up drinking them at my aunt’s beach house and now it’s a great memory reviver. Plus, everyone I’ve ever made these for becomes an addict. It’s my evil plan :-)

    Rachel’s last blog post..Granny

  46. Stephanie
    January 16, 2008 | 7:43 pm

    I’d have had to walk away quickly for fear of strangling him!

    We dont shop at EvilMart any longer mostly because of this!

    Stephanie’s last blog post..WW- The kids again!

  47. Stimey
    January 16, 2008 | 8:18 pm

    Oh this is hilarious. Did you get suspicious when he led you six aisles to the left?

    On a recent trip to the grocery store I had to send two different stockers to the back to find things I needed (basil and Miralax), but I usually find that the thing I need that they’re out of is Diet Coke.

    Stimey’s last blog post..Food Poisoning…

  48. Amy
    January 16, 2008 | 10:45 pm

    What? Babies don’t appreciate Snap, Crackle and Pop?
    Who knew.

    Amy’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  49. cate
    January 17, 2008 | 2:31 pm

    Haha! that’s so funny…although not because you needed the rice cereal. sorry….i was laughing with you, not at you….promise!

    our local Wal-mart does the same thing…they run out of something and don’t restock for at least 3-4 weeks. wtf?

    cate’s last blog post..a breakfast incident

  50. Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You
    January 17, 2008 | 3:43 pm

    LOL WELLL, it IS rice… maybe.

    Anyway, hey, you want cereal??? My kid(s) don’t get into the mushy stuff – I’d be HAPPY to send it to you :)

    Seriously :)

    Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..wondering where I am?