Guess who has Internet access and is gloriously happy about it!?!?! I’ll give you three guesses, but the first two don’t count….
That’s right, genius! ME!
(And it’s not even stolen, which makes me a little sad because that would have been a far more exciting story to tell.)
I would like to take this time to give myself a swift kick in the arse since I packed away my camera at the bottom of a tote and couldn’t take pictures of a few of the things I saw on the drive, because BOY OH BOY did they make me chuckle. Sadly, this would have been a much better post with pictures. It’s the kind of thing that it’s funny if you’re there, but maybe not so much when you are just reading about it.
There was a sign along I-65 in Alabama that said, and I’m NOT EVEN LYING, “Go to church or the devil will get you.” This very helpful message was accompanied by the picture of the devil that looked suspiciously like the devil from those cans of icky deviled ham. Um? Can you say COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!? I say that copyright infringement yields a far worse fate than not going to church. I suspect Jesus would agree with me.
Another sign that I saw on I-65, but this time in Kentucky, and I’m still NOT LYING said, “Jim Bob’s B00bie Bonanza next exit.” Okay, it didn’t actually say “Bonanza,” but I can’t recall exactly what it did say. That’s not even the point, though. The word “b00bie” was on a billboard and that’s some funny stuff right there. I was going to stop the car and have Tate take a picture of me and the kids in front of Jim Bob’s B00bie Bonanza because that would have been KLASSY.
Speaking of adult entertainment, there sure is a plethora of A*DULT BOOKSTORES! and A*DULT VIDEOS! too choose from along this nation’s interstate system. In one particularly thick patch of A*DULT ENTERTAINMENT offerings I saw a sign on the left-hand side of the road that said, “Turn here for all your A*DULT ENTERTAINMENT needs!” On the other side of the road, just opposite this sign was a message warning of eternal damnation, “You pay for porn in HELL.”
Wooooooooooow. That’s quite a deterrent.
See how this post would have been much better with pictures?? Meh. Sorry.
Exciting update….here’s a link to another blog that posted a picture of the church/devil sign!! (Thank you Google. I love you.)