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Tackling the IMPORTANT Issues…Car Carts

Haiku Friday

Meijer has one hitch
Facking car grocery carts
Curse the inventor

Oh you KNOW the carts I’m talking about (buggies to my Southern readers!…how ya’ll doing?  Enjoying your warm weather, are you while I’m suffering here in the PERMAFROST?)

It’s bad enough taking two kids grocery shopping.  What makes it worse is trying to get a limp-noodle-screaming-banshee into a real cart after he’s seen one of those car carts.  It’s an understatement to say that ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

I imagine that a very well meaning person (probably a MAN *ahem*) designed a car cart thinking, “THIS is a brilliant idea that will make shopping with kids FUN! and EASY!”

In a word, NO.  In two words, FACK NO.

Firstly they are impossible to steer.  Displays, other customers, food on shelves, ANYTHING AT ALL in the store is likely to be creamed by a rogue, out of control car cart.  Secondly, they aren’t even a full size basket, so once you’ve put one kid in the seat and the other in the basket part, you now have room to buy lipstick and a greeting card.  Lipstick and a greeting card WON’T FEED THE FAMILY.

So to conclude this tirade, I think we should write our congressmen about the very important issue of eradicating car carts from grocery stores across the nation.  Sure we have other “important” issues like baseball players doing steroids and a Presidential election, but SURELY our congressmen would see the necessity of legislation banning car carts.

Who’s with me?

*crickets chirping*

I Couldn’t Make This Stuff Up

Shh, hi, I’m stealing again.  Despite your reassurance that it’s all fine and dandy for me to be a thief, every time I get online, my palms sweat, heart races, I jump at every sound certain that the KGB, FBI, and gestapo have all arrived at my new house to take me down.  I picture my neighbors tsk-tsking me as I’m taken away in cuffs in the back of an unmarked cruiser.  If I do get arrested all of YOU are paying for my legal defense.  JUST SO YOU KNOW.

But Interwebs, I just can’t quit you.

Remember Chester?  Well his clothes and shoes all arrived safely (thank goodness).  Chester was nowhere to be found, though.  Rest in peace Chester.  Rest in peace.  Amen.

While unpacking, Tate and I found some boxes that made us giggle…
 

REEF? It couldn’t be?! Could it????

Yes! Yes! It is!!
There’s my reef! Oh how I missed you, reef!

Then there was this box…

Oops. I guess I shouldn’t have let the movers pack my POT plants (and art plants.)  I’m so relieved my POT plants survived the move.   Gee I hope I don’t get in trouble for those POT plants.  I don’t want to get in anymore trouble with the Feds than I already am.

Stealing

Comcast is screwing me.  And they know they can screw me, stupid CABLE MONOPOLY.

I still don’t have Internet connection (or TV or phone).  It’s practically like living in the 40’s with only the radio to keep me company.  If you’re wondering how I’m posting now, it’s because I’m STEALING my neighbor’s Internet connection.  Hats off to my new neighbors!

So anyway, I’m just checking in to say I miss you!  Did you lose weight?!  Wow you ALL look SO pretty. 

How about a quick story about the realtor whose head I ate?

Okay.  Here’s the thing.  We found out the day before closing that we were responsible for purchasing and installing a mailbox.  This, despite our attempt to find out about the who’s and why’s of mailbox installation for the previous two weeks.  And not just any old mailbox, NO!  The mailbox approved by our homeowner’s association that has to be ordered from a specific person who was ON VACATION.  I was INCREDIBLY irritated to find out this information the day before closing AND! the day I had our mail forwarded to the new address.

GAH!  I’m getting mad just writing this.

Lest you think that I’m just a whiny, spoiled housewife who needs a real problem, let me ’splain.  I feel that the post office is a place designed by the devil himself to make mommies of small children feel like hurling themselves into oncoming mail trucks.  It’s nearly impossible to get inside the post office carrying two small kids and your packages and go through two sets of doors then wait in line FOREVER and a day then fumble to pay, while holding two small kids then get back outside attempting to go through two sets of doors AGAIN while holding two small children.

I wasn’t exactly relishing in the idea of going to the post office everyday to retrieve my mail.  If you couldn’t tell.

So at the closing when the builder’s realtor said (in a very put-off, snotty tone), “I don’t see what the big deal is, you can just go to the post office and pick up your mail,”  I thought I was going to hurt her. She ended her sentence with a slight purse of the lips that I knew was code for, ”YOU STUPID IDIOT.”

That’s when I chewed off her head and spit it out, then stomped on it.

Okay, so that really wasn’t a quick story, but BOY do I feel BETTER.

See you soon, whether via stolen Internet access or whether the Comcast monopoly pulls their heads outta their fannies  and gets me my MTV.  I WANT MY MTV.

You Have Reached This Post in Error

Sorry to be missing out on all the fun of Haiku Friday! 

Go see Christina to sign Mr. Linky and check out all of the fantastic haiku!

Later peeps.

I Interrupt My Regular Scheduled Posting For This Very Important Message

I’m really stressed.  Like REALLY stressed.

I chewed the head off our builder’s realtor and spit it out, then stomped on the remnants just for that added oomph at the closing of our house yesterday.  She deserved it, so I don’t feel bad.  But I do have that angry taste still in my mouth and it’s clouding my excitement over my new house.  Try as I might, it is rather difficult for me to give up grudges and take away the power that anger holds over me.

Let’s all pretend that I’m in a fantastic mood and am currently spewing rainbows and puppy dogs straight outta my bum.  M,kay?  So onto happier thoughts and talk…I never have told you about my date with Casey and Nell!  Silly me!  We had a great time and it was truly thrilling to meet them both in person.  After having read both of them for at least a year, it was kind of surreal to actually be sitting with them and having lunch and conversation. 

The thing I love about blogging is the community and friendships that have developed.  It feels as if each day, we all get together and chat, sometimes about our kids, sometimes about beauty products, or vacuums, or our TV boyfriends.  Each comment that comes in is like, “Oh HI!  AMomTwoBoys just got to the party!  Have a seat, make yourself comfy!  And look!  It’s Jenni from Just Chicken Feed!  Can I get you all a latte?”

Just so you know, and I know I don’t say this enough, I appreciate each one of you and look forward to hanging out with you everyday (even if it is only virtually).  I wish that you (yes YOU) and I  could really meet, have lunch, and gab for hours on end and ignore our children.

I told you I was spewing rainbows and puppy dogs!   

Enough of that.  Moving right along…speaking of moving, I’ll be moving today and Friday.  Also Comcast (which IS NOT COM-castic, more like CRAP-tastic) has still not hooked up any cable to our house, so I will not have Internet access for a while.  I don’t want to pull a Megan on all of you and just disappear, so I thought I’d let you know that I’d be scarce these next few days (and hopefully not weeks!)  My inbox is currently filled with nearly 50 emails and new visitors’ sites that I haven’t had anytime to check out.    So if you’ve recently emailed me, it’s HIGHLY unlikely (I’m guessing with about 100% certainty) that I won’t be getting back to you anytime soon.  It’s also HIGHLY unlikely (again with 100% certainty) that I probably won’t be getting to all of the awards and memes.

Meh.  I suck.

Hold down the fort for me!  And think your own happy, rainbow, puppy dog thoughts for me as we move…hopefully minus the drama of our last move.

Peace out, ya’ll.  Word to you…mothers.

Boyfriend

Who is Your Ideal TV Boyfriend?

More on Gossip Girl. Created by BuddyTV

Woo hoo! He’s my new boyfriend!

What? You say I’m married?? Well after Tate’s insistence on being the LOUDEST man ever and waking up Ella at 1 AM and again at 5:30 AM, he is on THE LIST. Oh you KNOW what list I’m talking about.

I think Jim will be a great and QUIET boyfriend.

(Thanks to Puntabulous for giving me the idea to take this fun quiz…now YOU go take it and tell me who your TV boyfriend is!)

Busy Morning

Ooops…the first version wasn’t supposed to be published…I wasn’t finished with it yet, so if you got this twice in your reader, I apologize!

I have a lunch date today with these two gals.

To Do List to get ready… by 9:45 AM…

1.  Remember to wear deodorant.  I get really sweaty when I’m nervous (even when it’s only 9 degrees.)
2.  Lose 10 pounds.
3.  Work on joke-telling skills
4.  Speak with my zits and kindly ask them to find a different home than MY FACE.
5.  Teach Carson table manners…

6. Have a stern talking-to with Ella and remind her NOT to be SO ornery…