When Reinforcements Fail to Arrive

March 19, 2008 | Filed in: Men?, Pictures, hole-y matrimony, my stream of consciousness

There are fewer phrases in the English language that strike panic, fear, and possibly even loathing in the hearts of stay-at-home moms (and dads) more than, “I’m going to be late.”

A particularly stabbing follow-up phrase is “I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

These words are especially brutal when heard at 6 PM while one child is sitting in her high chair screaming because OH MY GOD SHE’S NEVER BEEN FED and the other child has completely emptied the formerly pristine pantry for the 833rd time that day and there are goldfish crackers spilled on the floor and the oven timer is beeping non-stop and the water is boiling over on the stove and you still haven’t showered despite the fact that it’s 6 PM.

It’s of little comfort that the reason for lateness isn’t happy hour, but rather issues at work. The stay-at-home parent ALWAYS has “issues at work.”

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If that shot doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what does!

I like to have a mental countdown to bedtime in my head…and then I just keep telling myself “it’s almost time for bed. it’s almost time for bed”

And if that doesn’t work, then I have a drink.

I kid, I kid. Sort of…

Maggie’s last blog post..Things I Don’t Understand

Oh, have I SOO been there, so many times. I can’t tell you how many times I have cursed the fact, just in the past two weeks, that my husband is more married to the military (his job) than he is to me. I’m having “issues at work” too; the fact that I’ve had a toddler home with a 102 fever for over a week which has involved a trip to the ER and two different trips to other doctors (including having to catheterize my two year old - let me tell you how much fun THAT was) to be told that they have no idea what’s wrong: just keep staying home for the foreseeable future until the fever goes away. I’m having serious issues at work; mostly that I’m not allowed to leave “the office” for the foreseeable future!

Oh, wait, this is about you…. I hope you get some rest and a break. It’s Wednesday by now, so at least you have the weekend to somewhat look forward to. Half way there!

I love that picture and I also hate the words, “I’m gonna be late.” Sometimes I have to call him from work and speak those dreaded words, but nothing is as bad as, “I have to go to Germany for two weeks.” I never get to say those words - damn teaching profession.

Cathy’s last blog post..What the Duck?

I got an earful of hatefulness when I called him Monday to say I was just getting on the road at the time I’m normally home. First I felt bad for him, then I remembered how many times it was me watching the clock at 6.

Rayne of Terror’s last blog post..Friday Five

Jennifer please tell me your brand new house doesn’t have hardwoods in the kitchen with two kiddos?!! Mine is ruined from my one.

Let me guess Tate called when dinner was nearly served? I HATE that. It’s simply unacceptable.

And, yes. We always always always have issues at work. Not to mention zero adult conversation. I’d rather watch boring Power Points than another episode of Dora.

Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..They’re a Dangerous Breed, Mate, so Watch me Wallabys Feed…

And it doesn’t matter if he’s spending a week in Colorado/Belgium/Japan for work purposes. All that matters is he’s seeing museums, the Eifel Tower and Japanese shoreline during his spare time.
Hence my up coming weekend away from home, by myself, all alone.
Now what do I do with myself?

Sarah @ Ordinary Days’s last blog post..Ahhh St. Paddy’s Day!

So true! I gope your night got better, or that you at least got a good night’s sleep. Love the pic!

wright’s last blog post..This Little Piggy

I’m not a stay at home mom, but I still get the call about problems at work. So I do the pick up, the dinner, the clean up, the baths all on my own. I hear ya, sister.

Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..I’m a Sucky Friend DOT com

Yeah, we should be able to “come home late” after they pull that on us. I say some night we leave the husbands with the grouchy kids when he gets home, and then WE go for Happy Hour.
Mommy Daisy’s last blog post..Easy Bean Burritos

I’m going to be solo parenting for NINE (9!) whole days next week. What the hell am I going to do?!?

Hope the husband wasn’t too late last night!

LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..The Cupcake Lunch

Oh I so know what you mean.
It does get better as they get older!!
(unless your husband decides to take a job 2 hours away, and doesn’t come home but two times a week…THEN, you’re screwed.) ha ha!

Mandy’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Handyman Hubby’s Bar

Omg, so been there done that. The only good thing about it is, my dd is more likely to actually pay attention to ME and EAT when Daddy the Distraction isn’t clamoring for dinner at the same time!!

He makes up for it by getting her up in the morning on weekends.

SO true. SOme days it feel like I am white knuckling it to 5. I must call the hubs five times to MAKE SURE that he will be home on time. Every minute counts!

rachel’s last blog post..Clown Purse

Uh, sorry, did I WRITE that post? Cause all that just happened to me yesterday. And the day before that. And also a few times last week.

Sus’s last blog post..Hide & Seek

And SaHP never have sick days either, or vacation. If we are injured or ill…still have to take care of the kids and house. Whenever DH is complaining about having to come home and play with Babyhead…I remind him that at least he does get time away…even if he doesn’t see it as time away…and he does get to go out with friends, leaving me home…again…with the Babyhead.

What’s worse though then being told they are going to be late is that the kid is SCREAMING for DADDY!!!!! And will not calm down until said daddy gets home.

That is always LOADS of fun!

Oh…and put those child locks on your pantry.
Sandy’s last blog post..This girl is gonna kill me…

I started writing something similar except mine went something like I wonder if my kids remember what their dad looks like and, yeah, I wish I could take “vacation days”. But it wasn’t that nice.

My husband is currently working 6 a.m. until 8 p.m every day. Has done this the past month. Then he wants to complain about his stressful day and wonders what I have “played” all day. He’s lucky I don’t have a concealed weapon permit.

Andria’s last blog post..I Think I Birthed a Monkey With a Sweet Tooth

Holy CRAP is that the truth! Even worse, I think, is knowing at the start that he’s going to be late and having the whole day to think about it. I know he doesn’t understand (though he really tries) and I also know that he doesn’t fault me the “special” hot chocolate I have every day shortly before he gets home (yay bailey’s!). He knows that I have the more stressful job (bless him) and he cuts me a lot of slack. But still. He works for the weekend. I work for the “Daddy’s Home!” moment every damned day.

Kelly’s last blog post..Do You Eat Enough Tofu?

No kidding! My wife is a K teacher but when she’s home on breaks I can gauge her stress level by the number of exclamation points in her emails to me.

~Jef

Edge’s last blog post..This blog … ya THIS blog … this is what happens when I get bored

He should get a few points for at least calling. Mine likes to think I’m psychic and just know when he’s going to be an hour or two late.

Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..Signs of Spring

That time of day just sucks. It turned into the video hour here for a while, just so I could get dinner ready and the girls could live to see another day.

all things bd’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: How to Lose Your Allowance In Two Easy Letters

God bless you SAHM’s. It’s all a Catch 22. Have you checked into like a mothers day out? It maybe worth it to have a few hours of “you” time. I’m totally just throwing something out there, for whatever it’s worth.

Jean’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

I have so much sympathy for you. I have many shots just like that and I have my own little pantry gremlin.
So sorry Jennifer, but this definitely hit the nail on the head!

rachel’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Aquarium Style and a First Crush to boot

Oh god I thought I was just oversensitive and mentally disturbed. Luke almost never makes it home on time, usually due to issues at work. Maybe I wouldn’t mind so much if he got paid as much as how hard he works?

On a positive note, those multi-colored goldfish look FAB-U-LOUS on your beautiful floor.

AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..Contests, Contests, Contests & Why I Hate My Feet

OMG so true! Oddly, if the husband returns home early that also strikes fear into my very soul. Then my secret is revealed - we live in utter squalor all day and I run around the house like a madwoman in the 15 minutes before he’s due home tidying. What? I’m not going to clean all day - that is totally futile.

andi’s last blog post..Crutch

God you read my mind.If I hear that one more time I’m gonna scream.Who thought up salary jobs anyways?

The words use to make me bat sh#t crazy!

Little help it may be now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One day you’ll hear those words and think so what and tell the kids to play even more video games while you pour yourself a glass of wine. Then slap a frozen pizza on the table and afterwards tell them to go bathe themselves instead of you having to do it.

Until then, going bat sh*t crazy is about your only option.

Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..My New Years Resolution Has Backfired

So true. And I’ve already been given advanced notice that tonight will be one of those nights. He’ll be home after the girls are in bed. Which, you know, is so helpful.

Christina’s last blog post..Recycled, And Yet Brand New

I feel your pain! All too well.

Is it bad that I’d rather he stay at work? It’s just easier without that second kid to take care of.

Shania’s last blog post..Those crazy cats!

I understand completely! I’m so glad that my husband doesn’t travel. I truly enjoy those moments where he’s playing and feeding Little Elvis while I hide (um, prepare dinner) in the kitchen.

Ugh. Not. Fun. Great picture, though, to capture the sentiment

(2nd time is always the charm - what’s the deal?)

(the other) Maggie’s last blog post..How to Turn $1.03 into Minus 7 Lattes

oh
my
gosh
I ADORE that last line.

and am thankful my husband gets it.

sort of.

as much as he can without walking a mile in my toddler-goop-covered shoes.

MizFit’s last blog post..Viewer Mail.

I feel you. As a military wife, We are married to the military, so ‘late coming home’ may be a matter of days, rather than minutes or hours…

luckily he’s on shore duty right now, so for now, it’s minutes or hours. BUT why does it always seem that they are late on days when it feels like OH MY G-D WHEN IN THE WORLD IS HE GOING TO GET HOME BECAUSE IF HE DOESN’T I’M GOING TO LOSE IT. Usually when I get to that point, that’s when the phone will ring and he tells me he’s running late.

Sorry about your pantry.

Mary’s last blog post..Not quite a list, not quite a post.

i feel your pain, honey.

and i’m grateful i am NO LONGER in that position.

but teenagers? they suck.

janet’s last blog post..I canNOT believe what a dork I am. Seriously.

I can hear the Psycho shower scene music playing in the background as you hear those words, lol
Dosn’t it seem like the dinnertime time is the most stressful anyway?

Tanya’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

“i’m going to be late” was code in our house for “gabe will not be having any kind of sex tonight” when i was a SAHM
ali’s last blog post..i’ve got answers…and a mug shot

My husband travels a lot, and I think it’s actually easier when I know he’s going to be out of town. At least then I prepare to do it all myself. I absolutely HATE when he is late or makes it home only to crash in exhaustion.

But most days, he’s really good at giving me the break.

Jenni’s last blog post..Gave A Whole New Meaning To The Phrase “Hot Lips”

Ugh. That is so true! What’s worse is getting the call at 6PM when they were supposed to be home at 5, and you’ve been waiting and WAITING - thinking - I can do this for 5 more minutes, surely he’ll be home then.

Around here those calls mean early bedtime. hee

Devan’s last blog post..More pregnancy stuff

It doesn’t get better when they get older. Sorry! The only difference is you wonder if the older ones are just late and not calling or if they are laying in the middle of the road dead. And the dad’s are always late on the days that are the worst. Hope tomorrow is better.

justmylife’s last blog post..It’s Raining Again……

It’s the worst when you are expecting them at a certain time and then at the last possible second when you thought he would be walking in the door the phone rings and instead of beling relieved of solo parent duty you are informed that it must continue on for more hours that seem to feel like an eternity.

I’m sorry for you.

RubiaLala’s last blog post..Lip Plumper Hazardous For Children

What I never understand is why goldfish always dissolve into 4000 tiny, foot irritating pieces. Every. Single. Time.

I just got yelled at for having to stay late. My husband can relate.

thordora’s last blog post..“can you ever be normal with bipolar?”

ugh..i used to work at pepperidge farm and those colored goldfish are YUK!!!

stick with the plain old orange cheddar. delish.

and how delightful - your floor looks like mine!!!

mwah!

I got an idea, next time put the kids to the car drive to the office leave them with Daddy and then head out to the nearest bar.
Worker Mommy’s last blog post..WWYDW - Installment 2

AMEN. There have been days when I literally go through the day watching the clock for when he will get home.

Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..Dear 2008, you suck.

Geez!! Can a girl get a break!

Miss’s last blog post..Hey, Hey

Yeah, I once had all that happen AND the smoke detector started beeping. It was like a scene out of a bad sitcom.

Momo Fali’s last blog post..Tonight I Plopped Down With A Glass Of Wine

We also take “working vacations.”

You are not alone.
You are not alone.

Rosie’s last blog post..Soccer Mom

A possible competitor: How about “I’m bringing my boss home for dinner.”

“In twenty minutes.”

:), Dd.

Doodaddy’s last blog post..I am so going to hell for this

Big hugs… you’re definitely not alone!

oh, I can so relate! My hubby travels a lot so I get the “my flight was canceled” phone call and seriously, I want to pull my hair out!!

Some days I have been so desperate that I start imagining I hear the garage door opening.

If it helps, my kids are now 4 and 22 months and it is really and truly getting easier to get things done. They play with each other and even on their own. I think it only gets easier…

Beth’s last blog post..works for me wednesday- a better bra

My husband called at 4:00 (suppose to be home at 6:00) to say it would be “closer to 11:00″. Uh, yeah. And the baby is not feeling well. And the furnace broke. Again. And I was suppose to be at the office today but couldn’t go in (see furnace and sick baby). Oh, and it’s snowing. GET ME A COCKTAIL STAT!

Sarah the Spunky Mommy’s last blog post..So $150 wasn’t a bargain

Yes, indeed! There are always issues at work with the SAH parent. I feel for you there! I hope your reinforcement came quickly!

Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..Random catching up….

Ugh, you are so right- and it’s not just stay-at-homer’s either.

I get so ticked when my husband is late. When he misses those precious few hours between school and bedtime.

(This may be my first time commenting. I can’t remember. If it is, Hi!)

Danielle’s last blog post..Those Moments That Just *Make* Mommy-dom

My husband has has just stopped answering the phone when the call is from me at 4:53. He knows its the dreaded “Hey…hows the day? Good…what time ya thinkin you’re going to get home”
I do find that if I run an errand or go to the library from 3-5ish, it makes the kids easier to put to bed and I am not as frazzled come dinner time, plus, I have three under four, so just going to get bread takes an hour.

When my kids were little, the words “business trip” could make me cry.

Betsy Bird’s last blog post..If Yesterday Was Tuesday, Then What’s the Name of This One Again??

Amen sister. From one SAHM to another, I know just what you are talking about. And yes, I have had that kind of day today.

Rachel’s last blog post..WOW!

I hate the “gonna be late ” thing , DH is terrible for just “popping to the shops” or something before coming home as i sit and cry with two screaming kids hanging of my legs

Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..A Rite Of Passage

Truer words were never spoken.

Becki’s last blog post..Seven Random Facts

Exactly.

The only thing I would add is that the call is even lamer when you get it at or after the time you are expecting your reinforcements to be home.

Stimey’s last blog post..How Did This Happen?

I’d say my boss was full of shit - but I know differently - I change the diapers.

Dawn’s last blog post..First Words

Hi. Welcome to my life. daily.

HRH’s last blog post..How much is that doggie in the window?

SING IT, SISTER.

I never knew the pain and The Man can only *imagine* what it’s like.

the new girl’s last blog post..‘Ask The Internets Week’ Episode 4

[...] 2. I’m going to be late. [...]

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Nice to Meet You

I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 3, and Ella, 1. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #2 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools!!." You can follow me on twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, view my photos on Flickr, and contact me by email.

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2008 Booklist

~~Pillars of the Earth~~ B-
~~East of Eden~~ A-
The Kite Runner
~~Memory Keeper's Daughter~~ C+
Water for Elephants
~~Nineteen Minutes~~ B-
~~HP and the Deathly Hallows~~ A++
~~Running W/ Scissors~~ A
The Rabbit Factory
Waiting for Birdy
~~Life of Pi~~ A
~~Outlander~~ A
~~Dragonfly in Amber~~ A-
~~A Tree Grows in Brooklyn~~ A+

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