Three Things
Thing one:
I went shopping alone yesterday, as it was Tate’s attempt to make up for falling asleep on the couch on my birthday. My mopey, feeling sorry for myself mood wasn’t helped by seeing all of these horrible clothes stores are selling! What is WITH all the boxy shirts with square necks and the maternity-esque shirts and TUBE dresses! And Old Navy! Those clothes were the worst! Maybe I’m too old for shopping there. Is this what kids (feel free to substitute the word “whippersnappers” here) these days are wearing?
Hello. My name is Jennifer and I just turned 80.
Thing two:
Whenever I leave a store, I have a fear of setting off the alarm and being accused of shoplifting. Never in my life have I (purposely) shoplifted and partly it’s because I’m afraid I’d set off an alarm and be CAUGHT. As I get closer to the exit, I feel myself tensing, imagining the alarm sounding as I leave, STOP THIEF! STOP THIEF! and thinking about the embarrassment WHEN the alarm is SURE to sound. I skirt quickly across the threshold holding my breath, only exhaling once I’m free and clear and RELIEVED that I dodged the bullet THAT time.
Thing three:
Cake. Lovingly crafted by Tate and Carson while I was gone shopping.
The mopey and feeling sorry for myself mood is gone. Cake, even a day late, has a way of making everything better. There there, now. It’s all better.
Oh man… you were channeling my brain. I was shopping also and thought? wtf? is up with these styles? WHO looks good in something with a square neck? and let’s get over these baby doll dresses..unless you are size 1 you are gonna look like the baby is due any day!
Cake.. yum and so pretty!
Glad you are feeling better!
Happy Easter!
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I’m ashamed to admit that I now shop at J. Jill, Eddie Bauer and other dull, dull stores just so I don’t have to see halter tops.
That’s so sweet that you got a cake after a busy day of shopping. Hope you had a nice birthday afterall..
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Amen sister on the clothes! What about the ugly ass retro colors and funk shapes? I walked into Kohls the other day in hopes of maxing out the Kohls card via hubs permission, thought I was in some kind of bad disco. I walked out empty handed. Im right there with you feeling 80. Cake always makes things better…specially when someone else made it.
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I was hoping you’d say you bought that dress cause I think it is adorable! I think ‘d only wear it while on vacation in some tropical place though.
Your cake is too cute! Happy belated birthday!
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too me for FREAKIN ever to learn the zipper-check technique and it hath saved me so much dressingroom time woe.
is it in INCH? that sh** isnt going on this ass w/out revealing a plumbers crack the entire time.
and, sadly, Old Navy is the land o’one inch zippers.
as always you crack me up.
hello my name is MizFit and Im addicted to the (selfproclaimed :)) Binky B****
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I actually have bought some things at Coldwater Creek recently. My mother (in her 70s but very fashionable) shops THERE. I’m loving the preppy look. Safe, cute, and boring.
I love me some trendy clothes as much as the next person but dayum who would look good in a tube dress? (A 14-year-old?)
LOVE the cake. Hooray for homemade with love cake!
p.s. I do love the print of that dress…but the shape on me? Uh hell no.
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Hey, Happy Belated B’day Girl!
I am so there with you about the clothes. I am so sick of the maternity looking shirts with big, ugly, loud prints on them. Those buyers for the stores should be beaten with a whip!!!
And I always have a fear of setting off the alarm too and getting thrown to the floor by a security gaurd. And I have never stole a thing! I don’t wanna be a Wynomi Ryder!
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That dress is rockin’.
So… no, it’s not just you. My husband asks the same thing. Why is everything maternity style and what’s with the tube tops and the teeny tiny shorts and the bermuda shorts, there’s no middle ground for us *ahem* grown ups.
Second: OMG!! Me too!!! I’m so glad it’s not just me! Thank goodness.
Third: Awe~ that’s just too sweet!
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I agree with #1 and extend an invitation to share a room at the retirement home with me…
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Give me a break! The last thing I want to buy after wearing maternity clothes for the past 9 months is MORE maternity-looking stuff!
I have that same fear too. I always get nervous I’m going to walk too close to the sensor while I’m holding items I haven’t paid for yet/decided on.
Yummy-looking cake and such a sweet gesture! Lucky Mama!
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I’m glad you had a good day to make up for the birthday.
And I know what you mean about the clothes - I find myself drawn more and more to the Land’s End catalog.
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Dude, I know all about the clothes. Now that I’m not pregnant, I do not want to buy pseudo-maternity clothes, m’kay. You have to be 6 foot 3 and 100 pounds for those clothes to look good on you.
And cake does make everything better. Just seeing that picture makes me want to bake one. I’ll just pretend it’s my birthday.
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ok thing one, thank God I am not the only who finds the latest fashions terrible! I can’t wear those shirts with the boob-waist line, I look pregnant. The boxy collars and 1950s style is JUST NOT ME.
Thing two, I aLWAYS think I’m going to set the alarm off. I have never never ever ever shoplifted but I am convinced that I’m going to set it off.
Thing three, gorgeous cake…….so sweet!
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I used to LOVE Old Navy…but you are right…their designers or whatever have got to be on crack.
Cake makes everything better. Mmmm. Cake….
Happy LATE Birthday!
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Happy Birthday! Great cake and ugh, I hate clothes shopping. There is no “in between” fashions. I don’t want to dress like a grandma but then I don’t want to be one of those skanky moms you see on talk shows who steal clothes from their teenage daughter…ugh, what to do?
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I refuse to shop until I lose 60 pounds. REFUSE.
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Every time I look at clothes I wonder, “Where are my age clothes?” Every thing is for teens or 80 year olds >.<.
I hate the alarm at Hell-Mart….Step away from the door! Makes you feel like you are leaving with a coat load of stolen goods! I think the cashiers leave the tags on to catch the reaction of the “thief”.
The cake looks good. My family would have eaten before I got home, if they bothered to make it.
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Lovely cake. Happy birthday!
I’m with you on the clothes. I’ve spent YEARS of my life in maternity clothes because I had to wear them. What kind of crazy woman would wear them by choice? My dear mother in law bought me a chocolate brown shirt in this new style and I spent the whole day shopping with her and my 5 children saying to complete strangers. “No, we’re not having another baby. It’s the cut of the shirt and the left over rolls of fat from the last baby.” She gave me permission to burn the shirt the moment we got home.
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I’m glad that the bummed out birthday feeling has dissipated!
I am always afraid of that alarm as well. The thing is, it’s gone off a couple of times on me and no one seems to give a flying frig. :S
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That cake is impressive! Sorry the shopping wasn’t so fun.
I can so relate on the whole shopping thing. This is why almost all of my clothes are literally about 10 years old.
Aw, so very sweet, that whole wonderful cake thing. Really. That’s super cool.
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Er, um, when I first saw that “dress” I thought it was a curtain you were considering for your decorating… yikes!
I totally agree on the “fashions” this spring. Ugh. There are some of us who simply can’t wear those “lovely” empire waist style tops (or boat necks) because the seam hits right about the nipple. Pretty. Or not. I went shopping at Macy’s this week with $70 to spend and I bought one shirt. That’s how bad the styles were.
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Oh, I forgot to add… your hubby makes a pretty fancy birthday cake! Lucky you!
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Oh I have grown to HATE Old Navy. I used to love them, but now they really only target the youngest of the skinniest of the stylish. Not me.
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Yay for cake!!!
And you already know how disenheartened I was the last time I went shopping. It’s sad…very sad…and makes me feel very, very old.
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I’m always worried they’re going to accuse me of shoplifting something I bought on a previous occasion. Like, if I buy Elizabeth a shirt at Target, and she’s wearing it the next time we go to Target, I’m worried they’re going to INSPECT it to VERIFY it’s been washed.
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I’m right there with you - I have long lamented the lack of decent clothes stores for women in their 30s - I feel like a lot of the styles in the likes of Old Navy are too young for me.
I have exactly the same fear off setting off the beepers - exactly! This isn’t helped by the fact that the few things I’ve bought in Old Navy recently come with the security tag sewn in, and of course I forget to cut them out and if they haven’t been ‘deactivated’ or whatever it is they do to them, they set alarms off in other stores. This may or may not have happened to me while shopping at Target wearing an Old Navy fleece!
I saw the tube tops/dresses and just shuddered. There is nothing worse than seeing someone wear such attire when she spends every other moment tugging the tube back up into place. That should be warning enough that tubey clothes are just wrong for 99% of the population.
Your cake rocks! Tate has very pretty handwriting, particularly considering it was done in icing.
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Wow, that cake looks so yummy and amazing! And I love thing 1. Maternity-esque tops are great for me, since they hide my huge belly but show off my somewhat-reasonably toned arms. And I love that tube dress you have pictured! I just don’t think it would ever, in a million years, look good on me!
Happy (late) birthday if I didn’t already get by here to say it!
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Happy birthday! I’m totally with you on the clothes, not on the alarm thing though. You are nuts. I took Cindy-Lu and her 2 year old cousin to the mall a couple weeks ago and we set off the alarm at Baby Gap. I totally accused the babies, but they hadn’t stolen anything, the alarm was just dumb.
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Though it’s already been said several times - AMEN to the torture that is clothes shopping for us 30 something gals. It’s awful the designs they come up with. I wonder what they’re thinking, too. I guess if we were all size 0’s then it might not be too bad. That’ll happen….
Also, the alarm thing? Scares the crap out of me every time, too! I’m so glad I’m not the only one!!! haha!
Aw, awesome cake! And awesome family for thinking to do it! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!!!
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Happy belated birthday!
Sorry about the shopping. I usually end up at Ross or Target and STILL feel like I’m dressing below my age. I guess I won’t worry until my daughter’s call me out on it.
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Oh the power of a chocolate cake!
I’m totally with you on a cake making it better!
Hell, a crumb from a cake makes me feel better
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How funny. I just got back from shopping all afternoon and am loving the maternity-style clothes in every store…..only, though, because I happen to currently be pregnant.
I am hoping to find that good ol’ elastic waist jeans will be the next super cool trend this summer if maternity-chic is so in….and models who are 60 pounds overweight? With their skin breaking out? And swollen ankles? If all those fashion designer people are going to make maternity clothes the in thing, let’s just go all the way….
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Ohhh…a long time ago I posted about shopping. It’s so hard - and I feel like I’ve outgrown Old Navy as well (except for their flip flops, well, maybe I should stop wearing flip flops). Anyway…I posted this a long time ago when nobody except maybe 3 people were reading. http://mccathy.blogspot.com/2006/06/from-bad-to-worse-to-good.html
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My theory on the clothes is that they are designed for people much, younger (i.e. never been pregant). Because once you’ve had to wear that look for real, you never ever want to again.
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Aw, that’s great that they made you a cake.
And I hate clothes shopping right now. Why empire waist tops and dresses are ever considered fashionable amongst the non-pregnant is beyond me. I’m already mistaken for being pregnant as it is - I don’t need any help with tops and dresses fitted at the breast and loose underneath.
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Oh yeah - and I have that same fear. Once I bought a Very Fancy and Very Expensive (and very low cut) dress for my cousins Very Fancy and Very Expensive wedding in the city and the sales lady FORGOT to take the security tag off. For some reason when I walked out with the dress nothing happened. I noticed the tag when I was getting ready that day - so we stopped at the store on the way. All dressed up and setting off All The Alarms in the mall until we got to the store and the lady had to hike my dress up to take the stupid thing off. That. Was. Not. Fun.
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Please don’t hate me, but I love that dress…where did you find it? It’ll just be perfect to annoy my brother when we go out in Alabama!
But you’re right, most of the stuff out there is ugly crapperiffic junk. I don’t even want to LOOK at new bathing suits!
But the cake is precious. Tate knows how to use a frosting bag? Or was that one of those frosting can thingies? Either way…too cute.
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delurking to say HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY!!!!!
and as a former Loss Prevention worker, there is more than just having the sensor go off to getting ya nailed for shoplifting and the person is gonna stop ya before you get to that point anyways…..so try and stop having that fear of the beep!
have a great easter!
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Happy Birthday!
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Happy (belated) birthday!
I am so glad that I am not the only one who feels that way about shopping!
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Hope you had a great birthday. The cake looks really nice!
hoppy birthday.
and i have a fat gut, so i kinda dig the maternity-esque clothes… they emphasize my waist but hide the pooch…
I definitely share your fear of the anti-theft devices. I’ve had them go off on me a few times, even though I hadn’t taken anything. Apparently library books can set them off??
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So I thought I was the only one who was terrified of being accused of shoplifting! it’s not the alarm I’m afraid of — it’s that somehow I will look so suspicious they’ll frisk me just on general principles. So besides the fact that they make me look seven months pregnant, that’s another reason I shouldn’t wear babydoll anything — the sales clerks would probably suspect I had a bunch of sweaters hidden under there.
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I enjoyed your three things. The cake looks great! Your fear of the security devices is hilarious, no offense and I think something everyone can relate to.
You’ve never shoplifted, ever? Ok, I feel bad now. I think I tried it once as a child. I wanted some gum my mom wouldn’t buy for me….and of course I got caught by my mom later and got in big trouble.
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I agree with you on the clothing. I did get some flattering slacks at Old Navy recently, but more often then not, I leave empty handed.
Happy late be-lated birthday. The cake looks wonderful.
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happy birthday … cake makes EVERYTHING better.
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happy belated birthday.
Glad you got cake. Every girl deserves cake on their (belated) birthday.
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I think you could have pulled that dress off….it was actually cute - but yes, these styles? Have to stop.
I had to refrain from LOL’ing this weekend b/c my mil who is mid-fifties was wearing one of those materni-smocky shirts, and she’s hefted on some weight this winter, and I was just like, “Dude, *I* refuse to wear those. And so should you. Really.” In my mind that is - I couldn’t actually SAY that.
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I do the exact same thing when leaving stores. Mervyns was infamous for not removing all security tags and it got to the point where I would hand the shopping bag to my husband and force him to walk through before I would. Those security gates can really get to you.
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Dooooood. My mom TOTALLY wanted to get that dress, but in green. We had to tell her NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Old Navy is good for baby pj’s and SPF tops. And baby socks. That is all.
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Thing 2: I thought I was teh only one who was paranoid enough to do that. lol
Thing 3: Awww! and YUM!
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Oh but the clothes for little boys at Old Navy right now are so freakin’ cute! I don’t even go on the women’s side anymore, sadly.
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I went clothing shopping yesterday and ended up mad and in tears! The styles that are out are NOT meant for mothers of 2 children with NORMAL bodies!
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