I have a question to ask about your husbands. Before I do, though, let me just be clear…I’m not saying that men are dumb idiots, ewww, yuck, blech MEN! No. I’m simply asking a question.
Let me set up the scenario. Husband can’t find something and calls to you to help him find it. “Honey! I can’t find the ointment/peanut butter/towels/shoes/whatever.”
You call back, “Honey! It’s right there on the shelf/in the drawer/on the floor/where ever!”
Somehow the Husband cannot find the item. You are beckoned to come find it for him. You are irritated because you KNOW that the item is RIGHT THERE. You huff and puff and roll your eyes on your way to find this item for him.
And voila! There it is. It truly is RIGHT THERE. Husband would have found it if he had looked behind, over, beside….. Instead of putting any effort into the search, he asked for your help. Instead of being grateful, he’s irritated that it wasn’t in plain view, and that he’d have to actually LOOK.
This male pattern blindness, as I like to call it, also occurs in the kitchen. Let’s say that the Husband offers to clean up after dinner, but cleaning up only entails putting dirty dishes in the washer. It does not include wiping the counters, sweeping the floor, or hand-washing any items not suitable for the dishwasher. When the “over sight” is mentioned, the Husband claims not to have “seen” the smeary counters, crumby floor, or giant high chair tray in the sink.
Does this happen to all husbands or just the one I’m married to named Tate?
Uh, yup. And by all indications it starts at a very young age, as my almost-four Noise is just as bad. Hubs says I can only find things because of my “interuterine tracking device.” Huh. So you have to have a uterus to see any dishes that might be stacked to the LEFT of the sink. Or any socks that are RIGHT BY YOUR BED AND NOT IN THE HAMPER. Or realize that there is ORANGE MOLD IN THE TUB.
It’s a really good thing I am not bitter.
The Other Dawn’s last blog post..Every Party Has a Pooper. That’s Why We Invited You.
I can’t get over the fact sweeping the floor is part of cleaning up after dinner…..maybe I have some of this MPB.
Teri’s last blog post..Moving On
It’s the Y chromosome. It handicaps them. It’s something they don’t tell you in science but I have a theory. You need two X chromosomes to function properly. That Y chromosome contributes only body hair, a larger muscular strcture, and a penis.
It’s true.
Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..Get your freak on
All of them. Even the six year old ones.
Jenni’s last blog post..Given The Choice, I’d Rather Clean Vomit
All. And there’s something else, this horrible affliction starts to affect your children too, as they get older, and presumably become more capable of finding things themselves. It’s terrible. I’m assuming since I have girls that they’ll out-grow it, but, who knows?
Nell’s last blog post..Dear Blue Fish,
Husbands offer to clean up the kitchen?
AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..Easter Strip Tease
I can’t decide which is funnier, the post or the comments!
Hubby has the affliction, I decided long ago, if he appears to be looking for something, tis easier to just get it for him than yell for 30 minutes where it is then in the end having to get it anyway!
Clean the kitchen? Men can do this? I must talk to my husband, he swears men don’t have the gene required to clean the kitchen! Thanks for the heads up!
justmylife’s last blog post..The story of how we grew…..
The worst part of MPB is that it is genetic, and can be passed to females. I know, because my daughter can STAND ON TOP OF SOMETHING SHE IS CRYING ABOUT BECAUSE SHE CAN’T FIND IT.
now i’m concerned, my husband to be’s last name is tate! i hope this won’t be a problem!
My hubby does the same thing. It’s bad enough that I have to go find it myself, but the irriation and blaming ME because it was TOO HARD TO FIND are what put me over the top.
Devan’s last blog post..More pregnancy stuff
I have no idea if my husband suffers from this disease. I personally suffer from If You Can’t Do it Right, Get the F*ck Out of My Way, so he has very few chances to ever put anything away. Who mixes the salad forks with the big forks? Really. Who does that?
Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..Feel Free to Explain it to Me
Guilty of the exact opposite :::hangs head in shame::: Hubby’s memory of the exact location of any random object in our house is waaaay faster than my own eyes. However, I AM capable of finding it once he’s told me which shelf
EXACT SAME THING HERE!
It leads me to do things such as:
* say ARGH out loud, for real
* employ annoying phrases such as, “Di you look with your EYES? Or just your ASSUMING MIND?”
* get snotty and say things like, “I don’t get it, you aren’t a stupid man, and your job requires attention to detail…do you need to see the ophthalmologist?”
* over-react when the kids do it, for fear they are beginning to suffer the same disorder
Julie Pippert’s last blog post..Maxim (and its readers) can BITE ME!
[...] ( Thanks Playgroupie for this new phrase.. check out the post and come back, I will wait… http://playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com/2008/03/24/male-pattern-blindness/ *hum hum hum* OK, so see I know I unloaded the [...]
Hubs & all the boys.
~sigh~
Properly stumled, too!
Mrs. Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy’s Voting, Earrings & Update.
Yep, my husband’s exactly like this. *And* leaves empty boxes on the counter rather than recycling them three feet away.
Oh, except — this husband’s actually my wife.
Domestically-minded people unite!
Doodaddy’s last blog post..Toddler Tricks
I remember an ooooooooold Rosanne Barr stand-up routine and she was complaining about this. She said something along the lines of, “What? Is my uterus some type of tracking device?”
Christine’s last blog post..Feel the bloggy love. Really, FEEL it!
This is definitely hereditary as my son cannot see specific items as well. It has varying levels. The more importance to me… the less they can see it.
i am married to a sufferer of this. male pattern blindness.
actually, i’m pretty sure that it’s I who suffers from his idiocy.
ali’s last blog post..of b-rate nursery rhyme proportions
A phrase constantly mutter in my house, “Are you looking with your eyes?” And no, he never is.
Megan’s last blog post..Guilty Pleasures
Let me add a husband, a father, a father-in-law and 2 teenage sons to the list of people who suffer this dreadful illness.
Penelope Anne aka The Mama Bear’s last blog post..Greetings from your Guest Host – ZBear
I claim the 5th, again. Because, again, I am Tate in this scenario.
Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..The Half Years
As a mother of two boys, I can attest this is in inborn deficiency. It manifests itself VERY early, like as soon as they can speak.
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..A Few Bad Apples, But Not the Whole Barrel
In my house, I call it “Peeney Vision”. And it isn’t just confined to husbands, but to children as well (provided they have the necessary penis).
Marilyn’s last blog post..We’re surviving (so far)
Dude, just wait. Carson will also have that male pattern blindness and ohmigod it sucks. Cleatus has it, Eeyore has it. It sucks. SUUUUUUUCKS!
Karly’s last blog post..Thanking The Baby Jesus That Easter is O-V-E-R!
Sorry, I may be one of the few women who suffers from this. With the cleaning, it’s not that I don’t see it, it’s that I’ve just realized it’s totally futile and will do the minimum to get by. With the searching for items, I’m always looking at something and saying out loud, “Where is it?” when it’s right in front of me. And why yes, I am a moron.
andi’s last blog post..But it’s 10 years too soon!
My husband confirms his very own diagnosis nearly everyday. It usually is literally “RIGHT THERE”! It must be awful to deal with such a sickness on a regular basis. Funny post!
They all do it. Mine takes it a step further by once in a while getting a wild hair up his butt and cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom. This includes putting items previously found on hooks out in the open because I use them all the time, into drawers or other secret places, and then pretending he never saw them. Until I find them on the top shelf where I can’t reach and he’s the only possible suspect.
Candy’s last blog post..Woolly Bully
Oh, it’s a man thing alright. It’s also a kid thing. I swear my “pointy” finger is invisible.
Christine @ Serenity How?’s last blog post..Turn the ‘Tude Around
Your husband will clean the kitchen after dinner? What is this you speak of? I am lost I guess? My husband doesn’t even know where our kitchen is! Must be more of that male pattern blindness! LOL!
The Farmers Wife’s last blog post..I’m Baaack!
Tate has a long-lost brother in WI named Cory (my husband). You nailed it in this post.
Kristin’s last blog post..Is that bad?
Yep…same way here. At least Tate offers to clean up, even a little. Mine just gets up from the table and plops on the couch to scratch his balls.
Kelly’s last blog post..100 Questions answered
I call that “Testosterone Induced Blindness” and it costs Mike $1 if I find the requested item in the exact place I described.
Erin’s last blog post..The fun just keeps on coming!
HA!
Precisely why the husband bought me a refrigerator magnet that reads “Male Refrigerator Blindness”
I do believe that one is in that Y chromosome.
ImpostorMom’s last blog post..Woe is me
Oh Lordy, this is a riot! Add another husband to the list of MPB….
tracey’s last blog post..Funny girl…
Yep. That’s all of us. It’s a genetic thing. We can’t help it. I’ve read that if you give us more sex the condition improves.
Mitch McDad’s last blog post..How well do you know Mitch???
I wish I had no idea what you’re talking about.
Men.
Carrie’s last blog post..Do They Make Midol for Four-Year-Olds?
bah! you just won me over!! your officially a “friend in my head” lol.
this is one of the MANY things that drive me effing crazy about my busband (boyfriend/husband). Also that he just can’t seem to get things for himself if he is occupied by anything else.
“babe can you get that thing that is a foot behind me even though you are on the other end of our house? thanks!”
grrrr
lou’s mom’s last blog post..wow!
You nailed that one.
Mine tells me that if I want his dirty clothes in a basket so I don’t have to run over hell and high water to find the lurking socks, I should put a laundry basket on his side of the bed. So I do.
Socks and underwear? BESIDE the basket.
Ok…from MY perspective (cannot speak for all husbands), here is the reason: my wife likes to “reorganize” so often, and sometimes completely without warning, never mind reason, that I simply choose not to even TRY to remember where she put certain things anymore.
Scott, All in the Fam…’s last blog post..The Monster Child
I think your description is very nearly perfect! If my daughter has to find something, she finds it. If my sons or dh have to find something, they turn around in a circle waiting for the said item to jump up and say “Here i am!”
Alison L’s last blog post..A bit of a recap
MPB is alive and well in this house with my DH and DS!
I am also wondering if this disease is why DH dresses DD in a striped shirt and flowered pants or the one time he took her to the Y in November dressed in a Halloween shirt and Christmas leggings. The people in Child Watch called her “Holiday” the entire time she was there.
God, you freaking nailed it.
I’d ask my husband to come over here and read this but I don’t think he could find it.
*sigh*
Jenny, Bloggess’s last blog post..Still high, making big announcements
I opened the refrigerator the other day, after my husband had been in it three times before me, and immediately I noticed that a bottle of olives had tipped over and spilled the entire contents of olive juice out of the jar and into the bottom of the refrigerator. My husband’s argument for not noticing this? He doesn’t eat olives.
Heather’s last blog post..A Small Obsession
@Heather? I think your DH wins! Didn’t notice the olives had tipped over because he doesn’t eat olives. Priceless!
I hope you made a BIG batch of Martinis so those olives didn’t go to waste!
Yes, men are blind & it is hereditary.
JackieW’s last blog post..Obama : Your grandchild would not be a punishment.
I realized a long time ago that it was easier to just wipe down the counters than do that AND load the dishes. So that’s how I roll now. Much less stressful!
Jenn @ Juggling Life’s last blog post..Day 100!
This is so funny. My husband does not think wiping down the counters is a part of “dishes.” Floors are never a part of cleaning a room at all to him. So FUNNY!
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie’s last blog post..We choose to laugh
Hubby suffers as well, but his seems to be limited to finding tools in the shed and food in the pantry. Drives him ape$#!^ when I just walk over and pick it up (say out from under 2 gallons of paint, a bag of gravel and a 5 gallon bucket.) I know where all his stuff is, and when he gets to big for his britches I will remind him that he would starve/go naked/have a bunch of broken stuff/be in the dark/evicted were it not for me. (he also loses bills). He does clean up spills in the kitchen (sometimes)
‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – James Fezatte