Many Unhappy Returns
The curse has returned
Gone nearly three years with just
one Aunt Flo visit
Men. This is your cue to leave promptly. Quietly shut your browser and pretend you were never here. Please return again tomorrow when I promise to talk about something ELSE like boobies or trucks.
So hello ladies! It’s just us today, feel free to look around and note how CLEAN and tidy and sock-free everything is. The counters are wiped and you have control of the remote.
When I went to bathroom earlier in the week, I noticed something on my undies.
“Huh?” I thought to myself. “What in THE hell IS that?”
It took a minute, but I finally came to my senses and realized, “Oh yes. It’s THAT.”
I wondered if I even had any feminine hygiene products in the house, but then remembered to my horror that my movers had packed and moved them in a box labeled “WOMEN’S PADS.”
So I retrieved one of my WOMEN’S PADS and set off to spread the word to Tate and explain to him why I had been picking fights and acting even more passive aggressive with him than normal for the previous week.
He looked at me, squinting and crinkling his nose. I assumed that he was going to make my need to wear WOMEN’S PADS all about him and his needs. (gag) Instead he was confused.
“Is that even possible?” he asked.
Since the arrival had also surprised me, I decided to forgo the lesson on menstruation and wimmins for Tate. Rather, I explained that yes, indeedio, it was possible.
“Well, I KNOW that it’s POSSIBLE, but I didn’t think IT would happen with the IUD,” to which I realized Tate had a point. I didn’t think I’d need WOMEN’S PADS with the IUD.
Of course I contacted my trusty family doctor **Google** and she explained that 20% of women did in fact have NO need for WOMEN’S PADS while the rest of us get to entertain an unwanted visitor every month.
This is one of those times in my life that I really, really, really wish that I was less than average.
***************
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I think my time will be coming soon. I am going on three and a half years with one visit also. My little guy is almost 1, so I imagine it will be pretty soon.
Yertle’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #7 — Affirmations on My Bathroom Mirror
I am empathizing with you right now, dammit.
Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog: Have you ever “Tagged” me on your blog?
I am one of the “less than average” and I do so love it. It’s been two glorious years since I had my IUD “installed” (did we decide that was the proper term).
Now, karma is going to kick my hiney and I’ll wake up tomorrow in the same boat….
Just had mine “installed” as well and am really looking forward to those five wonderful, carefree years…so far all I have had is short visits from Aunt Flo and her friends…Bloat and Cramp.
Scarlet O’Kara’s last blog post..Easter Celebrations - Better Late Than Never…
No IUD here, but my friend Flo returned unexpectedly as well. It was a piddly 2.5 months after the birth of my son… and I was nursing exclusively. Boo-hoo. I so wanted that year-or-so of Flo-free life:(
Sounds like FUN! (Can you hear my sarcasm?)
Veronica’s last blog post..Dear Libido,
ahhh
the joys o’womanhood.
MizFit’s last blog post..Link Love and a Friday FREEBIE!
What? I didn’t even know that it prevented Flo! I’m so naive (and confused).
Bummer. Men don’t know how good they’ve got it, for some things…
Becki’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
I didn’t know it stopped Aunt Flo either. Hmm, one more reason for me to consider one now.
And I see we have the same family doctor.
Bren’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler
Oh, you poor thing. I just had the return of Aunt Flo a couple of weeks ago. I’m still breastfeeding too - which sort of bites. (As does my daughter, as you will see in my first-evar Haiku Friday.
Di’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - Ode to Claire
My sympathies…I have been irregular all my life–sometimes going as long as a year w/o a visit, and aside from the whole infertility thing, I didn’t miss dealing with that a bit!
Mom24’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
When are they going to discover a cure for that time of the month? And I don’t mean BCP…those are evil. There has to be something.
That really sucks that you are one of the 20%. That kind of crap always happens to me too.
I am silently praying for menopause so that business will all stop but then that come with it’s own set of problems. MEN. All of our problems start with them.
Try to have a great day and some wine and chocolate!!
Connie’s last blog post..Not Intended To Hold A Child
Mine returned while still nursing at 9 months postpartum, in the midst of mastitis. So sorry Aunt Flo is back. Maybe they’ll be lighter and less frequent? Trying to be positive here.
Kelly’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
Oh THAT sucks the donkey alright. Eat chocolate and when in doubt: WINE.
MamaGeek’s last blog post..Schlitz Happens
I cannot recall
my last visit from Aunt Flo …
but I’m sixty-three ;–)
Lots of things have changed
in my lifetime … but ’surprise’
visits … still the same ;–(
Hugs and blessings,
storyteller’s last blog post..Haiku Friday #26 - Moms and Babies
I have the IUD also; love it! hopefully, this will be a one time thing, or at least short-lived. Love Haiku Friday
Sarah in Disturbia’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
Hmmmm, I’ve been considering getting an IUD, but frankly, they really freak me out for some reason.
Aunt Flo has the worst timing ever…..
Sarcasta-Mom’s last blog post..Haiku Friday- Friggin Snow
I hope it’s short and sweet, at least.
And I had no idea that the IUD could prevent such things.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - My Twenty-Five Dollar Hat
So sorry for your loss.
I have been exclusively breastfeeding since my BabyBug was born (almost seven months ago), and I mistakenly thought that by allowing my boobies to be chomped on, I’d have a few perks.
Oh, no. I’ve been having the monthly curse since she was SIX WEEKS OLD.
Having a small personal pitty party. Ok. I’m better now. And I really do understand your pain.
Heather’s last blog post..Cookie Anyone?
Sorry you weren’t in that 20%!
anne’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Spring Things
No IUD, but was pissed when AF came back only 6 months (1st baby) then 8 months (2nd) post partum and nursing.
I didn’t realize IUD could keep AF visits at bay; too bad it doesn’t for you now… what a drag.
I’m on a newer OC for me; I’m cranky as hell for a few days, but AF herself only shows for about a day. I can live with that.
1st time ‘ku; I love this … and your blog
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Fashion Friday - Haiku
Oh, that’s hell. I’m sorry you have become a “wumman” again. I know I’d rather just go through premature hot flashing & stop the cycles.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..HF: 5000 voices
I am sorry to hear that! I am still happily missing mine, and really want to keep it that way.
Maybe I can breastfeed forever?
Scylla’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
Well interesting..I never messed with the whole IUD thing. Speaking of wummin pads, I found a shop on Etsy that makes hand made reusable pads. Ahem..I’m all about saving the planet, but no thanks, I’ll pass on that one. At least they were flashy retro colors.
Jean’s last blog post..Nothing Like A Little Assualt To Liven Up My Day
i’ve had my iud for just over a year. i spot for a day each month. THAT’s it. it’s FAB.
ali’s last blog post..the big sleep
I feel your pain. I was one of the lucky ones that got it while nursing. The first time is the worst. It just feels so UNFAIR.
Beth’s last blog post..daily photo (365/23)
right there with you!
I just went to the doc about the stinkin IUD this week. I’ve been plagued with the “breakthrough bleeding” for several months now. It is just enough to be irritating but not enough for a damn tampon.
My doc’s solution was to put me on the pill in addition to the IUD which frankly makes no sense AT ALL. If i’m on the pill why do I need the freakin IUD?
ImpostorMom’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
Ugh! I’m not looking forward to this at all. That is the only thing that is making me think that being pregnant again wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
andi’s last blog post..The unpredictability of the boy creature
Ugh…YUCK. One of the many reasons I’m grateful for my hysterectomy!! So sorry she’s returned!! Hope it’s short and fast for you!! With as little YUCK as possible!!
Sadie’s last blog post..Help me Help THEM!!
So no fun. Hope it doesn’t last too long.
Happy Friday!
wright’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - Breaking Up With The Mall
Yes, that sucks for you.
IF you find Midol is no longer helpful now that you are in your thirties, just ask me for a powerful period medication combo and I’ll fill you in. heh.
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Wise Words or Assvice? My Mother-in-law Speaks
Don’t freak out yet. I have had the same IUD as you now for over 3 years and for the most part don’t have a period. I can go months and months without one and then I will get a surprise one day and will only last a day or two vs the 6-7 it used to then will be gone again for another 3-4-6 months and then might show up again for a day or two. Surprise, then again two weeks later for another day or two. I always just keep a tampon or panty liner in my purse and a stash at home. The longer you have the IUD in, the longer you will go (typically) between the surprise visits. Several of my girlfriends have the mirena as well and all report the same thing. It is still better than every month and trying to remember to pop a pill every day!
abunslife’s last blog post..It’s all about HIM!
that SUCKS! Looks like we are on the same cycle. Maybe it’s because I read your blog so often. They say when women are together they start bleeding together too!
Kelly’s last blog post..100 Questions answered
My husband leaves for Iraq soon, and I will stop taking my pills…which means my monthly visits will very likely stop. Which seems like a good thing, until we want to get pregnant again…
But wow, three years. Nice.
the dragonfly’s last blog post..belgian holiday, day two
So sorry you got that visit *do you hear the sarcasm?* I have never had the luck of ever missing her, unless I was pregnant. I breastfed, bitch was back in 4 weeks! I am having the hot flashes and attitude, but I still have her! In fact she is having a WONDERFUL visit now!!! Now you know why the sarcasm!
justmylife’s last blog post..This is a HOOT!!!!!
I just got the visit for the first time since before I was pregnant with my one year old. Been a long time, Aunt Flo, and you were not missed. Not one bit.
Sarah @ Ordinary Days’s last blog post..Me
Bummer! I’m laughing about the movers marking the box Women’s Pads. lol
Devan’s last blog post..Would you people
Those movers — so sensitive!
W/ the IUD, you might find that the bleeding fades away until eventually — all gone. Fingers crossed…
mayberry’s last blog post..Recorded for posterity
Wait, you had an entire box of WOMEN’S PADS, as in an entire moving box? Or just that the box said that while containing other random stuff, too? None of my business, but I’m really stuck on this big ol’ lifetime supply of WOMEN’S PADS.
Meanwhile, awesome ‘ku, and I’m sorry for the return of the not happy.
(the other) Maggie’s last blog post..Haiku Friday 3/28/08
Ooo, that sucks. I take this pill where I never have that visitor. It’s called Lybrel and it’s freaking awesome.
rubialala’s last blog post..The Big Dog Bites
Oh how I empathize with you, mine has shown up periodically since October(read 3 times) but it still S U C K S!
Mackenzie’s Momma’s last blog post..My favorite Thing to Do…
I am so bummed for you! I was lucky enough not to have mine from Nov. 03 until June 07. Almost worth getting pregnant and nursing again just for that alone!
Mama DB’s last blog post..Some Mornings: A haiku
I finally did it….haiku friday!!! yippee!!!!
janelle’s last blog post..The End of Spring “Break”
Well, at least you had 3 years off, right?
tracey’s last blog post..Funny girl…
Yeah, I’ve had a regular period ever since getting my IUD, too. & that’s after the first 2+ consecutive months of spotting. Ack!
Shelly’s last blog post..I Believe I Can Fly
Aunt Flo SUCKS! So do pads. So do tampons. UGH!
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
Sometimes I even wish to be pregnant just to avoid the unhappy returns.
Those movers were plain evil with their labeling. Couldn’t they have written “bathroom accessories with wings?”
Jana’s last blog post..Celebrate the Moments of Your Life
Who knew IUD’s prevented AF? I’m such a rookie.
Been contemplating an IUD and the possibility that AF could take a long respite makes it even more appealing. Hmmn. Might have to get me one of those. But, I will probably be the 20% to as I menstruated the entire time I nursed. *Sigh*
Toni’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Birthday Edition!
Damn, that would piss me off.
~JJ!’s last blog post..Feel yourself up on the Ides of March
I have the Mirena as well (and love it), but I am not completely Aunt Flo-free. Every 2-3 months, I get the bee-yatch for a few days, but not as raging as pre-Mirena. TMI, I know. So I am sort of but not quite completely in that 20%.
My hakiu is about poor pitiful me, but I guess you get some of that too….
Jen
Jen Fos’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - Poor Pitiful Me
I too am an IUDer.. and yes.. i have had periods since getting it… but.. they are fewer and far between, and much lighter than they used to be.. I love my Mirena!!
MommyMoments’s last blog post..Hoppy Easter Everyone!!!
Bummer about Aunt Flo. I tried an IUD but ended up having heavy cramping after a couple of weeks and it came out. Lovely, huh?
My husband threatens to put me in the red tent during my time of the month. How archaic! Men!
Rhea’s last blog post..What’s Cooking in this Pot - Answer
Ah. My only hiatus from being Bluh-D was during the time I was preggers with Braden. Then it was right back to StickyBunsStreet.
And I’m totally going to buy a DivaCup soon. I hate WOMANSPADS and I’m getting sick of tampons. My aged and abused vagina doesn’t like them anymore. Heh.
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..I love you, John.
Mirena Rocks! I’ve had mine for 2 1/2 yrs now and only get Aunt Flo one day a month if that and so light. Vs. the eight to ten day misery I had before. And the one day is just a recent thing, up until last yr. I did not even have one at all.
The Farmers Wife’s last blog post..The Cave Man and The Snail!
Ugh. No fun. But I would probably be in the same boat as you since I was regular while I bfed, too.
Hang in there.
melissa’s last blog post..Haiku Friday 3/28/08
At long last, I’ve provided my very own haiku on a Friday.. ^_^ The post itself will help explain what took so long despite loving the idea & having the intention for months. Thanx for helping to simplify blogging while still keeping it worth reading! ~_^
(|_| *cheers* |_|)
The little things?
The little moments?
They aren’t little.
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
coffeesister |_|)’s last blog post..Found Fridays @_@
I’m sorry, I remember the disappointment of that day all too well, and am now reminded of it monthly. Sigh.
Nell’s last blog post..Still Waiting for My Smackdown
The red flow of doom
unwanted, unneeded blood
go the fuck away.
Rosie’s last blog post..My Big Redneck Wedding - Geneva and Kyle
My Aunt Flo comes to visit every 24 or 25 days, and stays for over a week. I hate her.
Momo Fali’s last blog post..Throw In The Laundry And I’m Downright Charmed
That SUCKS! Im sorry!
Stephanie’s last blog post..He got a workout today
I’m sorry IT is back. Mine came back far too quickly considering I was breastfeeding.
Now, to get really personal: can you tell me what it was like getting the IUD? I’m planning to get one now, and I’m curious what to expect.
Christina’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Young Jedi
Aw, dang, I’m really sorry to hear you’re back with your old buddy WOMEN’S PADS. That is so unfair.
Swistle’s last blog post..Birthday Party Fret [Edited with Follow-up]
Ugg never a welcome return. Getting pregnant again is good , AF has only visited Three times since September 04 and im guaranteed at least another year free
Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..Future Fear
I think that’s the best part about pregnancy: no periods.
Oh, right, and the baby.
Stimey’s last blog post..How Not To Run Bedtime.
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Yuck. Been there.
Apparently 24 mos and 2 T is all about diaper room.
24 mos. has it, 2T doesn’t.
That’s it.
For the first 3 mos of the unexpected return of ‘Flo’ I had the most vicious cramps and PMS and it sucked.
I feel you darlin’.
hope today is better.
rachel’s last blog post..The Manic Mom Dash: Or Naked in Target
aye yi yi!
jamie’s last blog post..vote
[...] that time o’ the month again… no, not time to whip out your “WOMEN’S PADS!” Rather, it’s time to talk about the positive changes we’re making in our lives [...]