List of things I accomplished before 9:10 AM…
Nursed the baby, grew a banana tree, harvested it and fed one to the baby, checked and answered several emails, dressed the baby, dressed the boy, reminded a certain person of our quest to leave the house by 9:10, changed two poopy diapers, showered myself, invented a shower lock, patented the lock, marketed it, and began to reap the profits, brushed my teeth, flossed, put on make-up, dried my hair, put on clothes (including pantyhose), reminded a certain person AGAIN of our quest to leave the house by 9:10, realized I had no time to eat breakfast, planned in my head the meals to be made for the day, laundry to be completed, and bills that needed paying, packed a travel bag for the kids filled with snacks, toys, diapers, wipes, and burp cloths, came up with a few viable solutions for world hunger, got two children into their coats and buckled into their car seats, wrote this blog post in my head, seethed with anger.* 9:10
List of things accomplished by a certain person who shall remain nameless…
Got up and hour after me, complained about the baby being fussy and loud, did some work from home on the Internet, “made” breakfast for himself and the boy that included pouring cereal and milk into a bowl, patted himself on the back for making breakfast, rolled his eyes at repeated reminders of our looming departure, asked what time we were leaving, showered, got himself a road sody, marveled at his amazing ability to get ready by 9:10, wondered outloud to himself why his wife was “sportin’ a ‘tude.”
*Certain accomplishments were embellished for EFFECT.
Sounds like our house whenever we go anywhere. And then when you come home you’re going to get the kids fed, or ready for bed, or whatever it is they need Right At That Moment (even though you’ll be starving and have to pee) and He is going to go to the bathroom, fix himself something to eat, pour himself something to drink, and then maybe he’ll help you after all that is taken care of for himself.
Men.
Cathy’s last blog post..Weekly Winners Ninth Edition
Shall I punch him in his daddy buttons for you?
I’m pregnant. Huge and Snarky.
I take no prisoners.
AndreAnna’s last blog post..Just a quick note
You had a mighty productive morning! It always amazing me how I can pull three people together and am ready to walk out of the door when a certain person in this house is just getting up and strolling in to take a 20 minute shower. Flames on the side of my face. Heaving, breathing breaths.
On another note, the quote from AndreAnna, “Shall I punch him in his daddy buttons for you?” reminded me of “I’m gonna kick him in the Man Grapes”. I don’t remember where I heard it but I laughed and laughed. Is that wrong?
Mama DB’s last blog post..I’m awake, and that’s how I’m going to stay.
Seriously. Every Sunday I wake up with the tune in my head because of the irony of it all.
Do we live parallel lives?
Andria’s last blog post..My Expert Parenting Advice
Wow- pantyhose? Where were YOU going? Did the queen invite you for tea?
Oh the patting of the back….a certain person at my house yesterday exclaimed “I’m doing you a favor” …. this “favor” was holding his 19 month old demon child while I made dinner….for him, the 4 year old and the 19month old. Seriously. Doing me a favor.
Teri’s last blog post..A Barrage of Bullets
Im so glad someones being productive around here; cause I haven’t done much but make breakfast and then lunch, which means cleaning the kitchen twice. And where is my beloved?…still asleep at 1:18pm, Bastard
Jean’s last blog post..Taking A Bloggy Break
Are we married to the same man?
Props to you for getting so much done on a Sunday, no less.
Jerseygirl89′s last blog post..My Little Prodigy
Hahah, I think they all think like that!
Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..Sigh.
Wait! You got to put on MAKEUP???????
~JJ!’s last blog post..Here I go again…
Sometimes, in moments like those, I imagine stuffing certain people in a box and throwing the box over a cliff with the hopes that it will land in oncoming traffic. The splat of a semi truck sending the box flying into the nearby river makes me feel slightly better.
Oh my Lord! I think you just recounted just about every Sunday morning at our house when we attempt to make 9am Mass. This is why we rarely go to church anymore.
I’m always saying, “We need to leave in however many minutes. What could you be doing right now to make sure that happens???”
It’s amazing how this cycle keeps repeating itself week after week.
Sarah @ Ordinary Days’s last blog post..Hot Mama Revolution: Giveaway!
He must be related to my husband. They sure do love to pat themselves on the back for all they do while not noticing all we do.
Someone Being Me’s last blog post..Please send brownies…
Are you SURE you’re not living with my husband?!?!?
Alison’s last blog post..A Walk to Remember
It makes me absolutely crazy, that DH gets up on the weekends 20 minutes before we have to do anything, gets himself ready, and waits for us to go. Then, he wonders why I’m “sporting a ‘tude”. Actually, maybe I’m simply a little jealous–I can’t imagine what it must be like to just think about yourself. I make sure I get up in plenty of time so I can shower and DH and DD can shower and still have hot water, so there’s time for me to help DS and DD get dressed for the day, brush their teeth, do their hair, get the food, pack snack for where we’re going….on and on, YOU KNOW the routine. Why don’t they? Good luck. We’ve been married 24 years, have been parenting for 23 years, I’m pretty sure he’s determined to remain forever clueless.
Mom24′s last blog post..Meal Plan Monday
Scary-that’s exactly what I deal with. PLUS he makes sure we are all in the car buckled in before he can walk out the door. Tres annoying!
Jill’s last blog post..A tender moment…
I think Aunt Flo’s unexpected return is the perfect excuse to go postal on him. He needs the reminder.
Jenni’s last blog post..Memes Come Here To Die
You crack me up. This is why I love reading your blog.
Maggie’s last blog post..Weekly Winners 3/30/08
Aww. To think I have all this fun to look forward to some day…
You were super productive for a Sunday!
CourtneyRyan369′s last blog post..its one week to go!
That wore me out just reading it. I can’t remember the last time I wore hose!
I hate it when they ‘sport a ‘tude”….
Happy Sunday!
tommie’s last blog post..Weekly Winners…March 23-29,2008
Souns like our house whenever we go anywhere too. The best is when, at the end of the day (after all the running) , they look at you and say “Im wiped out!”
Stephanie’s last blog post..He got a workout today
But I thought my husband was working this morning? You’re tellin’ me he was at your house?
Karly’s last blog post..Its Like Being In Some Alternate Dimension Or Something
We are all married to the same man! How many wives does he have. My has been wondering about my ‘tude lately too, he seems to think he has nothing to do with it either.
justmylife’s last blog post..This is a HOOT!!!!!
Hahaha….I posted a “to do” list for myself just last week:
http://stellaandthomas.blogspot.com/2008/03/to-do-list.html
So true and so funny!
My god woman, what time do you get up?
And what is with men??
Beth’s last blog post..I princess
I am sooooooooo sorry. I totally understand. /sigh
“sportin’ a ‘tude” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
i was doubled over with laughter at this one, especially after reading of your increasing rage, and Archetypal Man’s infuriating indifference and self-congratulations. He’s lucky he’s still got all his appendages.
i am sure we’ve had the same thing at our place 1 million times. DUDE, THEY ARE ALL THE FREAKING SAME.
You only grew a banana tree? This morning I invented the banana and birthed the workers to work on my banana plantation. Oh and picked my own cotton to make my own stockings… built my own office and then went to work. At 8am.
I win.
But I always do…
Kelley’s last blog post..I am such a blog whore
Uh-huh! I knew I could not be the only one out there. I usually get myself and 4 boys ready and assist in helping get him ready, I am still ready ON TIME and he makes us late! I hate walking into church late, everyone turns and stares, and you know they think it was me who made us late! Or when I entertain 4 boys, make dinner, set the table and am still trying to serve my plate when his is half gone and he fusses about me forgetting to pour the drinks! IRRRR! Gonna smack a boy!
The Farmers Wife’s last blog post..The Cave Man and The Snail!
hmmm—someone who will remain nameless…I might be spilling the beans here, but was it by any chance my husband? It sounded just like him….
rachel b.’s last blog post..how’s that again?
I know its not a post to be laughed at but you just described my daily life. Men!!!
Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..Future Fear
sounds like my domicile as well.
we’re hot on your train and it’s 614.
M.
MizFit’s last blog post..Monday Facetime.
ROFL, that cracked me up…the things we accomplish before 9:10 and they wonder why we are “sportin a tude” hilarious!
Tanya’s last blog post..1st Day Of Spring Break!
Dude. Men.
AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..But Is It Right For Me?
MEN! *sigh*
Toni’s last blog post..New Digs
seriously…i really want to write about this same thing happening to me this morning on my blog…but unfortunately my husband reads it. argh.
i asked last night if he could bring the girls to daycare today (first day back from spring break…and he’s not working – sick, yes, but not working)…had to convince him that it would help me a ton. also had to promise to help him get out the door. i managed to get up, get ready, get the girls dressed and ready to go (bags and all). i have to leave in 5 minutes and he (eating breakfast – i didn’t eat breakfast, i was too busy – asks if he can hop in the shower for 3 minutes). so i had to wait around – and was a few minutes late for work. argh. why can i get it all done…and he can hardly get himself going? i so understand you. thanks for letting me vent.
jen’s last blog post..4 years…4 reasons why i love you.
ugh! That’s even worse than being asked “what did you do all day?!”
Devan’s last blog post..Saturday
Have I told you lately how much I love you?
As you know…the life of the everyday housewife is rather monotonous and it begins to feel like Groundhog’s Day around here. And then you post about something that happens in my house and/or you give it a funny name (male pattern blindness) and I find myself thinking of it often and laughing to myself.
So…I read this one right before bed last night and there were already several comments. I got to DADDY BUTTONS and went to bed. Laughing my butt off. DH came to bed….put the moves on me and I threatened his Daddy Buttons. it was great!
Thanks for making my mundane existence more fun! Reading your blog is the highlight of my day!!
Connie’s last blog post..The One About The UK Package
Ha ha ha, this is hilarious. Mostly it’s so funny, because this same thing happens here (and I’m sure lots of other places too, ’cause I know we’re not alone).
My husband has FINALLY (after 2 years) figured out that if he helps a little bit instead of watching me run around and get 3 people ready, we’ll get out the door faster. FINALLY!
Mommy Daisy’s last blog post..Choir, dryer, friends and colds
ughh! Just makes you want to scream, doesn’t it?
Seriously, this is every Sunday morning in my house, or any time we have to go somewhere (including breakfast with my husband’s grandfather, for god’s sake). My favorite is when they claim they were totally helpful because they entertained the kids for twenty minutes while you were showering. (Perhaps entertaining the kids could have included feeding them, putting their clothes on, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher?)
Sus’s last blog post..Perceptions
I love it when my husband gets himself ready and then makes comments about how long I take to get ready…I mean, I only have to wake up the 4 year old, nurse the 4 month old, bath both children, pick out their clothes, wrestle the 4 year old into her clothes, brush her teeth, do her hair, fix breakfast, and make sure both children are entertained while I try to squeeze in a quick shower. Then I organize the travel bag and gather the snacks and shippy cup…all the while the Mr. is asking where his socks are…did I wash his pants…why isn’t the shirt ironed…etc. When I finally snap, he turns to me and say…All you had to do was ask for me to help!
Scarlet O’Kara’s last blog post..I Hope It’s Not Another Repeat!
OK I just have to ask, are you married to my husband? My word ,what a pain they can be. It takes him 20 minutes from waking up to being ready to walk out the door and it takes me at least 2 -21/2 hours. He looks great, I look like I’ve been beat up by Donkey, Kong. God help you woman!
Marye~’s last blog post..Thinness?
Sometimes, no jury in the world would convict you if you hit him really, really hard.
Heather’s last blog post..A Small Obsession
unequally yoked?
HRH’s last blog post..The air quote potluck…
Wow! That is impressive even without the embellishments. Good for you.
I didn’t even brush my teeth today.
Beth’s last blog post..Things I Didn’t Know Before I had Children
Oh my word, you are hilarious. I have no idea how I just found your blog but you have me hooked.
This sounds like a typical day in our house too
Tonya’s last blog post..FAMILY PHOTOS