Athlete’s Face | Playgroups are No Place For Children

April 17, 2008 | Filed in: Quirky Me, jennifer and tate battle

I am not the only adult in this family that sometimes has to share a shower with a very splashy two year old boy. Most weekends, Carson pesters Tate to join him in the shower.

This thrills me, as it means I get to shower completely and blissfully alone! However the thrill was recently completely obliterated when I learned what those two hooligans had been doing with my washcloth during their shower.

Before I tell you the horror, let me explain my washcloth “procedure.” I have a washcloth that I use for my face. ONLY my face. I do not use this washcloth on my nether regions or my feet or ANYWHERE else. ONLY my face! *ahem* As you can tell, I feel very strongly that this –dare I say sacred– washcloth be used for nothing other than cleaning my face.

So when Tate casually mentioned that he and Carson had used my sacred washcloth on the shower drain so that they could make a puddle for splashing, I was horrified….Especially horrified since I had just finished showering and washing my face with a washcloth, that unbeknownst to me, was contaminated.

“What’s the big deal?” Tate asked, while looking at me as if I had an alien doing the cha-cha on my forehead.

“What’s? The? Big? DEAL!” I roared. “The big deal is that MY washcloth was on the shower floor, gathering the filth that was dripping from your body. Hello! Formunda cheese and ass matter! And to make it even worse, it was touching the drain! ARGH! The gross, hairy draaaaiiiiin.” (Okay, so I’m over-dramatizing, slightly, but believe me when I say I was extremely irritated and disgusted.)

In all seriousness, though, I really don’t want my washcloth touching the shower floor or shower drain or being innundated by matter that might possibly be dripping from our bodies. Also, athlete’s face is a real concern. I think that the only logical solution, and the only solution that would set my mind at ease, is to get a fresh washcloth before every shower. Also, I will hide all the clean washcloths in my super-secret hiding spot to assure their sanitari-ness (I just made up that word). And maybe consider seeking help from a professional about my obvious issues.

All right Tate and Carson, let’s get ready to rummmmbbbbbllllle! Do you think that what they did with my FACE ONLY washcloth was gross?

(By the way, you all look extra lovely today, my Internet friends! So thin! And my! How perky your boobs look!)

I think it’s awful and would have freaked out. I totally understand the FACE ONLY washcloth. I have a FACE ONLY towel that I use when I wash my face at night. I also sort of freak out if my husband lays on my pillows. His face is naturally pretty oily (which just keeps him youthful he never breaks out, grrrr) and I don’t want to have my face resting on his facial oils while I sleep all night. He thinks I am ridiculous about this, but I am not. He’s just a gross boy.

BTW, you’re looking pretty hot yourself today!

Shelly’s last blog post..Olympic Superstar

Egregious and just plain wrong! I always get a new washcloth before each shower. After reading this, I will continue to do so, to the detriment of the environment.

And you too look thin and gorgeous!

Mama DB’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Bath Night

Ewwww the drain is the epitomy of the realm of despair!
Why yes thank you, the girls are feeling most perky this morning.

Jean’s last blog post..A Long Time Ago…

I agree..and will use that oh.so.impressive.word … Egregious!!

CauseImThaMommaThatsWhy’s last blog post..~*~YAWN~*~

Foul. Very foul indeed.

Get new washcloth every time. Only way to soil their plans.

AndreAnna’s last blog post..If you want my body and you think I’m sexy

I don’t even need the compliments to say that what they did was so disgustingly wrong that it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit! Then thinking about you using said washcloth on your FACE!! OH.MAH.GAH!

Alison’s last blog post..The Moments to Come

Gosh my boobs don’t feel perky this morning, but thank you!! And yes, new washcloth every. time. It’s the only solution I think.

And I’ll raise your disgusting showering experience and raise you one. Last time I was in the bathtub with my two year ole (two birds one stone. you understand) she POOPED on me. That’s right. Defecation.

And our days of bathing together PROMPTLY ENDED.

Your boobs look really nice too.

Jess’s last blog post..I’ll take “Are you Insane?!” for 800 Alex

totally agree with you there. I have my own scruby thing that nobody but me can use. Right now, I would be SOOOOO grossed out if I was you. I would start the new washcloth every morning thing too. More laundry, but more insurance too.

And, is that a new shirt you are wearing? You look fantastic!

ellinghouse’s last blog post..Can I get a side of lard with that butter?

When I wash my face before bed, I use a clean wash cloth each night, a practice which baffles my husband who doesn’t even wash his face at night (is this all men?) My wash cloth needs used to present a laundry problem, until I started buying lots of cheap wash cloths–at TJ Maxx, Home Goods, multi-packs at Target, etc. Now, I have a huge basket of wash cloths (maybe 30) and a clean face . . . and perky boobs, thanks for noticing.

mep’s last blog post..Don’t Be Cruel…

Yeah, that’s pretty gross, especially when I think about the fact that my girls have each confessed to me that they’ve peed in the shower.

all things bd’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Flying High

Ewwwwww! I would have to take a whole new shower and would spend hours decontaminating my face after that. Ewwwww!

Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..Slapping Some Cuteness on These Walls

Oh, and Tate .. have you ANY idea what we women can do to YOUR washcloth? Yeah.. you should think about that, Mr Man.

CauseImThaMommaThatsWhy’s last blog post..Yay! Maddy hasnt chucked ALL DAY~~hurlchuckralph~~ er.. oh

Oh man, that’s not right. Maybe you should get a set of washclothes in a certain color that are just for you. Ohhh, and if it’s really girly looking, maybe the boys will leave them alone.

I don’t keep a separate washcloth for my face, but I always use the washcloth FIRST for my face, then other body parts. I do the same thing with my son when I’m washing him. It washes his face first. So I can understand your concern.

Mommy Daisy’s last blog post..P is for Please

Eewww, gross! Yes, you certainly need a fresh washcloth every shower if they’re untrustworthy. Uck. That’s like using his toothbrush to clean the grout. Not that I’m suggesting anything.

ccr in MA’s last blog post..Hockey Thoughts: a Proposed Rule Change

Ew!

Devan’s last blog post..Let’s see…

that would totally gross me out too! My husband has been known to blow his nose in the wash cloth!!!! I always get a new one before I shower just in case.

wright’s last blog post..Tax Relief Swap - I Know You Want My Package

eek! I think I woulda freaked too! I’ve taken to getting a fresh cloth every shower for exactly that reason…

Marylin’s last blog post..Borked

Wholeheartedly agree with you - then again, I don’t let my husband touch my face after I wash it and I have a serious issue with “man germs” so maybe other crazy people aren’t the best ones to ask.

New washcloth everytime is the only solution. Unless you cad make do with a paper towel…=)

heather’s last blog post..behave yourself

Gross. Entirely disgusting in everyway possible.

Teri’s last blog post..Who Loves You, Baby?

I am with you. There are certain things for certain places. You can always just wash your face in the sink after you get out of the shower….just a thought to prevent contamination again.

Sandy’s last blog post..!@#$%^&* Glucose Test

totally agree! that is definitely disgusting. and while, so maybe athlete’s face isn’t necessairly a true concern, the next time you get a pimple you can blame it on the boys.

i too use a new washcloth everytime… but (as of yet), not because of the threat of ass face.
Heather’s last blog post..Tasty Tuesday - Chimichurri Goodness

That is pretty gross. Living with men is just gross if you think about it.

Someone Being Me’s last blog post..Sprung

gross. no question.

You’re right. That’s gross.

You’re also remining me of my college roommate who had a special satin pillowcase and WOE BETIDE anyone who so much as breathed within 5 feet of it …

mayberry’s last blog post..April showers bring cute boots

Ickie!!! But I don’t even like anyone else using my scrubbie. (Yes, I always have an extra new one for guests. Much like the pedicure place gives me a new nail file and block every time I go.)

Thanks for saying the girls look perky. Its my new Target bra. I love it! You’re looking lovely yourself. I really just love the new hair cut!

CourtneyRyan’s last blog post..I dare you to answer them!

Ummm, Apparently I am in the VAST minority, and probably even solitude, but I don’t even use a washcloth in the shower. I have a loofah I use on my body and I use my hands on my face. My nice recently cleaned hands. I use a cloth at the sink at night (if I wash my face at night). I often just use soap on my face. I don’t struggle with problem complexion. Maybe I am lucky?

KEEP BELIEVING

Angie’s last blog post..Where Angie babbles about nothing…

EWWWWW!

That is just wrong.

I am with you, 200%. Why are boys so dirty?!

Maggie’s last blog post..Theme Thursday - Spring

and how do I know, sisterfriend, that really did laugh at all this?

some days Im so beaten down by having NADA OF MY OWN (please to also see broken glasses frames and stained fave tee shirt) that I mightcould lose it over something seemingly small.

YOU CRACK ME THE HELL UP.

thanks for that.

MizFit’s last blog post..The MizFit likes to roll late to the party…

um, yeah, I would have freaked out too. REALLY FREAKED! But you can’t listen to somebody like me. My towels have to be folded a certain way or my day will be ruined.

Undeniably nasty.

Must Be Motherhood’s last blog post..The bitter taste of it

Formunda cheese and ass matter? LMAO!!!

Maria’s last blog post..I *was* done….

EWWWWWWWWWWW! I def. think that is sick. At least they didn’t wash their ass though but they came close enough!
Get a new one every day.
And thank you I feel thin today and the girls are up and ready!
Your ninny’s look awesome today too!

Marti’s last blog post..Prayers needed

Oh that is just wrong. I have been know to throw loofas away for touching the shower floor. My husband is not allowed to use my towel, loofa, washcloth… anything!

Megan’s last blog post..I’m sick.

Absolutely icky. I use the disposable Olay facial wipes. Even more detrimental to the enviroment, but, on the upside, never touch man ass.

Shania’s last blog post..C’mon baby, light my fire

That is the sickest thing I have read in a long time. I couldn’t even read the whole post without gagging. I hope your face is okay.

rubialala’s last blog post..The Funniest Thing

Ooh ooh ooooh! We’d throw down in my house over that! I always get a new washcloth to avoid that battle—that’s EVERY time I shower AND wash my face, I have a new washcloth, which my husband doesn’t get. He doesn’t question it anymore, though I get the occasional look come laundry day.

Perky breasts? What are they?

Oh the horror! Gross ack ick gag cak.

Boys are filthy..I know mine are!

Jen’s last blog post..A Thousand Words

OMG! _I_ need a fresh face-only cloth after hearing what they did with yours!

Swistle’s last blog post..Cry Aunt

Your overreaction sounds perfectly reasonable to me Ew.

(the other) Maggie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen 4/17/08 - 13th Edition

OMG So wrong.

I think I barfed a little in my mouth.

sam’s last blog post..What I Would Have Done to be Able to Use Photoshop

GAAACCKKK! Yes, that is GROSS! Leave it to a couple of boys, huh? “What’s the big deal?” Ack!!

SherE1’s last blog post..Be Careful What You Ask For

gross nasty and wrong wrong wrong.

oh and egregious too. i like that word a lot!

the planet of janet’s last blog post..The mouth that roared

Thanks for noticing the perky…push up bras do wonders, no. I think if Tate knew that was a sacred washcloth & did it anyway, he’s on super secret double probabtion with all conjugal visits for at least two weeks. I think I’d freak, too.

Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Don Knotts, Lust & Flatulence

Sucking up, the best way to get the internetz on your side. heh! Seriously that was gross. Since he decided he must tell you, he should have ‘fessed up before your shower. Of course my hubby used my washcloth to wash the dog’s face. I would have never known if my washcloth wasn’t hairy. He wasn’t about to confess.

justmylife’s last blog post..My husband is special.

ewww!!! that IS rather horrifying.

bananas’s last blog post..This little round globe that I have in my pocket

I think it’s gross and I would be mad at him and totally justified in scrubbing the toilet with his toothbrush.

I don’t trust anyone, so I use a new washcloth each time. Face first, work from the top down, then hang it over the wall to dry and put it in the wash the next day. However i was a little irked when I learned that my husband was giving the kids showers and using the dirty washcloths to clean the children! But then I reminded myself that at least he told me because if they were clean then I’d have been using them on MYSELF. I am not sure which is worse. Children funk on my face or ass matter on my kids. You decide! Your boobs look so nice in that shirt!

jen’s last blog post..Orange

That is SO discusting! Go splurge on some new washcloths. I am forever buying washcloths so that I do not have to use one more than once before it is washed. When I am out of fresh, clean washcloths, I do my best without one. My biggest excitement comes from white sales and 2 for 1 washcloth deals! Combine them with a coupon and I could die happy that very day.

They could have been washing their bottom with it.

~Jef

Edge’s last blog post..Well, why don’t we all just make one …

Here at Chez Rosie we use the lid to a Big Gulp cup to stop up the drain so that Liv can splash about in our filth. I do not use wash cloths as they harbor bacteria and squick me out.

Tate is kind of gross ;).

Rosie’s last blog post..My Big Redneck Wedding - John & Amber

The mom/wife is always right. Tell them if they use your washcloth again, then you’ll start slipping things in their food. lol Just kidding. Really.

Rhea’s last blog post..Everyone needs room to run.

First of all, thank you. I AM having a “good boob day”!
I feel your pain. My youngest son takes his showers with my husband every morning. ( This has been going on the majority of this school year ). I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my beloved shower poof has been used on my son’s bum. And not just the outemost regions, but actually in between the cheeks! I was thoroughly grossed out at the news, but the best part of the revelation? The look of utter surprise on my husbands face that there would be anything wrong with this pratice! Gross, gross gross!

Lord - all the comments I couldn’t even read because I had to get down here and say

EWWWWWWWWW!

One time wash cloth user here. It grosses me out when water sits all day accumulating little bacterias in their warm-moist-prime-retail-space environment.

(I’m only just realizing how deep my issues may go… hmmm.)

Good luck with the athlete’s face!!!
Danielle’s last blog post..Loveland Miscellany

How gross is that! I completely understand the “face only” wash cloth concept. I have a “face only” scrubbie and have been know to buy a new one when someone else uses “my” scrubbie to wash just their face with it. I cannot imagine how far I would fly around the room backwards if I saw it being used to remove other body filth and such!

Scarlet O’Kara’s last blog post..She Likes It! She Really Likes It!

YIKES!! Don’t touch the washcloth!! I know what you mean, though…hubs and I have arguments just like that sometimes, too…about very similar issues!!

Sadie’s last blog post..Hell Week…

I hear ya! And now I’m getting even more paranoid about my washcloth. I think I’ll get a fresh one too, just based on your story!

Becki’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen - Seventh Edition

I totally understand!! I would be so upset if I found out I had used a contaminated wash cloth on my face. Maybe irrationally upset, but that’s just me.

I wash my face with my hands…but you never know where those have been either.

Poopsy’s last blog post..oh, go fly a kite.

O.mah.gawd. No you di-int just say fromunda cheese and ass matter.

That is without a doubt the funniest freakin thing I’ve heard in a while and my favorite part of the whole post. I must share that little gem of a phrase with my hubby at once

Oh and sorry about the washcloth
Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Thanks, for the complete and utter waste of time

That is so grim! But as a bonus, I get to add the super-fantastic funny phrases “fromunda cheese” and “ass matter” to my vocabulary.

andi’s last blog post..New house rules

Having a few (OK, MANY!) hangups about cleanliness and germs myself, I am freaked out by the thought of my FACECLOTH being on the DRAIN!!! Ewww!
I also am anti-bar soap– ever found a rogue hair on your bar of soap? Ick!

EWWW. You are SO right to be disgusted!!! I have gone so far as to give my husband a very specific, designated pair of nail clippers with which to cut his grotesque toenails (I can barely even type that word w/o gagging) after I found him using my VERY. FAVORITE. FINGERNAIL ONLY. CLIPPERS. So clearly, I have issues as well.

You look fabulous yourself.

And I don’t blame you for being upset. I don’t let Hubby use my special water cup because he always leaves cups - with juice or soda in them - out for days in his basement and I swear they never really recover. So I hide my water cup. I think you’ve got a great strategy now.

Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..How To Lose Your New Best Friend In Ten Minutes Or Less

THAT is so friggin’ disgusting… I say, that’s grounds for D-vorce.

~JJ!’s last blog post..In control

just.
ew.

and I’m sorry, but little boys totally pee in the shower too.

so do big boys.

Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..Something’s brewin’!

EWWWWWWWW! I’d have totally freaked out. That’s beyond disgusting.

Im wearing a new bra..glad to know it’s working!

Indygirl’s last blog post..Dress up

That is exactly why I must wash my washcloths and towels after every use!

erin’s last blog post..Forbidden Love

Oh, I’m totally with you on this one.

I also have a face washcloth and a body washcloth. And if the face one touched anything other than my face — including a drain — well, my reaction would be same.

(I have similar issues regarding kitchen sponges. Eew.)

Arkie Mama’s last blog post..A dose of Dolly

I just did a little research because I was confused why some of you were calling the nut sack cheese FRO munda instead of FOR munda…

Apparently, according to Urban Dictionary, they are both correct.

The more you know! *ding*

How do you feel about those lather thingies that aren’t cloth? I am so glad I work at a soap factory and have access to the best antimicrobial/anticrud formulas in the known universe.

And no one has ever commented on the alleged perkitude of my boobage before.

Dane Bramage’s last blog post..Clinton and Obama: The Musicals

Ewww!!!! We each have our own color of poof that I replace every 30 days. I grab a clean washcloth for my face before each shower.

Stephanie’s last blog post..Not coming…

My hubby has that same washcloth routine. I can only imagine how the world would stop revolving if baby and I pulled such a stunt…

Note to self: when in need of entertainment, shower with baby and use daddy’s face cloth for drain stop.

I loved the face athlete concern. too funny.

HRH’s last blog post..I have a winner…

I’m weird about my tweezers. They are for my facial hairs and my facial hairs only. So I can see your washcloth dilemma.
Jennifer 1 Tate 0

moosh in indy.’s last blog post..Shake, Freak Out and Roll.

Yeah, I’d defiantly hide a wash cloth. I couldn’t imagine how many creepy crawly germys were crawling over that wash cloth. You might want to stick you face in boiling water to kill all the germs (just kidding on the boiling water thing and seriously that is so gross!) My SIL stands on a wash cloth in the shower because she afraid of germs. If you thinks that a good idea you might want to see a therapist.

Marye~’s last blog post..This and That and the Other Thing

Oh Jennifer, that is funny! I am not a washcloth user but your title Athlete’s Face says it all!

And I agree that the “formunda cheese and ass” part was over the top hilarious!

Happy Homemaker’s last blog post..Reader Request: 1950’s Pink and Black Tile Problem

Oh, I feel your pain. I have a “special” hand towel that is only to be used by me for blotting my face dry. Imagine my horror when I found that that “special” towel has been used for drying hands of the boys in my house……uggg.
And… when I wash my face at night, I only use the washcloth once, then it gets thrown in the wash. I’m anal like that.

Kristin’s last blog post..You Go Girls!!!

Sorry I’m late. here via Robinella http://notastepfordwife.blogspot.com/

Have you seen the Butt/Face towels? White on one side for face, etc. brown on other for butt.

Actually quit surprised nobody mentioned it.
I’m so domestic I make myself sick.

GoingLikeSixty’s last blog post..BFD and Dildoos and Dutch Bags

You last two lines just guaranteed I will be visiting regularly!

I came over via your stalker’s post about passing on an award to you.

I was afraid they had put the sacred washcloth between their butt cheeks, how nice it instead was in the drain, uh yeah. Guess it’s time for a new washcloth, maybe you should lock it up between uses so you know it’s still immaculate. I’m here to help.
Lisa’s Chaos’s last blog post..a-choo

I came for a visit from Robinella’s.

I am so with you on the wash cloth issue. I have my face only washcloths that better not be touched by anyone. Tate’s response was so much like my husband’s would be. Men!

Dawn’s last blog post..PhotoHunt Theme: Time

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Nice to Meet You

I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 3, and Ella, 2. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #1 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools!!." You can follow me on Twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, view my photos on Flickr, and contact me by email.

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2009 Booklist

The Given Day
Love in the Time of Cholera
Esther; It's Tough Being a Woman
~~Why is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?~~ I
~~Whitethorn Woods~~ B
~~The Five People You Meet in Heaven~~ A
~~Paula Spencer~~ B-
~~Digging to America~~ A
~~Rebecca~~ A-
~~The Friday Night Knitting Club~~ B
~~The Reader~~ B+
~~The Shack~~ B+
~~The Kite Runner~~ A
~~Three Junes~~ C-
~~Kitchen Confidential~~ A
~~A Cook's Tour~~ A
~~The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas~~ A
~~My Friend Leonard~~ A
~~Daisy Chain~~ F
~~The Gravedigger's Daughter~~ B-
~~A Girl Named Zippy~~ A-
~~Eat, Pray, Love~~ A
~~Water for Elephants~~ B+
~~The Book Thief~~ A++
~~The Poisonwood Bible~~ A+
~~The Hunger Games~~ A

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