I am not the only adult in this family that sometimes has to share a shower with a very splashy two year old boy. Most weekends, Carson pesters Tate to join him in the shower.
This thrills me, as it means I get to shower completely and blissfully alone! However the thrill was recently completely obliterated when I learned what those two hooligans had been doing with my washcloth during their shower.
Before I tell you the horror, let me explain my washcloth “procedure.” I have a washcloth that I use for my face. ONLY my face. I do not use this washcloth on my nether regions or my feet or ANYWHERE else. ONLY my face! *ahem* As you can tell, I feel very strongly that this –dare I say sacred– washcloth be used for nothing other than cleaning my face.
So when Tate casually mentioned that he and Carson had used my sacred washcloth on the shower drain so that they could make a puddle for splashing, I was horrified….Especially horrified since I had just finished showering and washing my face with a washcloth, that unbeknownst to me, was contaminated.
“What’s the big deal?” Tate asked, while looking at me as if I had an alien doing the cha-cha on my forehead.
“What’s? The? Big? DEAL!” I roared. “The big deal is that MY washcloth was on the shower floor, gathering the filth that was dripping from your body. Hello! Formunda cheese and ass matter! And to make it even worse, it was touching the drain! ARGH! The gross, hairy draaaaiiiiin.” (Okay, so I’m over-dramatizing, slightly, but believe me when I say I was extremely irritated and disgusted.)
In all seriousness, though, I really don’t want my washcloth touching the shower floor or shower drain or being innundated by matter that might possibly be dripping from our bodies. Also, athlete’s face is a real concern. I think that the only logical solution, and the only solution that would set my mind at ease, is to get a fresh washcloth before every shower. Also, I will hide all the clean washcloths in my super-secret hiding spot to assure their sanitari-ness (I just made up that word). And maybe consider seeking help from a professional about my obvious issues.
All right Tate and Carson, let’s get ready to rummmmbbbbbllllle! Do you think that what they did with my FACE ONLY washcloth was gross?
(By the way, you all look extra lovely today, my Internet friends! So thin! And my! How perky your boobs look!)