Study Confirms, Early Bedtime Makes Mother Less Crazy

May 6, 2008 | Filed in: Huh?, Little Monkeys

I’ve taken to grocery shopping late in the evenings, after the kids are in bed. Walking up and down the aisles, enjoying my solo jaunt and searching for much needed items like Spotted Dick and Ovaltine, I’m always surprised when I see people shopping with their children that late in the evening. Since my children go to bed between 7 and 7:30, I guess I assume that everyone does things in their house the way I do them in mine.

Both Carson and Ella get up between 6 and 7 every morning, regardless of what time they go to bed. They may as well go to bed early, I say. Personally, I cannot imagine my children going to bed any later than 8 since it’s an absolute MUST that I have my own, childless time in the evenings. I’m certain that without those two glorious hours before my own bedtime, I’d be a very disturbed human being, complete with glue eating and conversations with imaginary hippos.

So when I see people with their kids, especially young kids, at Meijer at 8:30 at night, I find it odd. And I wonder how they manage, parenting so late into the evening. Aren’t they tired of their kids? Don’t they know their kids should be in bed? Don’t they want their own time?

cue announcer’s voice, “The role of Judgy McJudgerson is being played by Jennifer today.”

Of course all this judging has made me rashy (I feel guilty when I judge others, please forgive me) and wondering when you all put your kids to bed. If you put them to bed after 8, why?

No judging from me, promise. I’m truly curious how everyone handles bed times. Also, no judging or superior parenting struts from anyone else…please refer to my comment policy in my right sidebar if needed.

I do a 7:00 bedtime too. I think sometimes people do late bed times because they work and that’s the time they get with their kids. It would suck to get home at 6 and put the kids down at 7.

The other night I was at the store at 10. There was a little girl maybe 2 crying and crying. The mom was scolding her. She rolled her eyes and said to me, “i don’t know what her problem is.” Umm, I think I do. She’s tired. At 10? What do you think the problem is?

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I ain’t judging either, I’m just saying… At 8PM, OK, maybe an emergency trip to the store without any other options, but when I see entire families in the WalMart at 1:30AM (my favorite time to do WalMart - I’m a night owl), entire families complete with VUB (very unhappy baby), it does make me scratch my head in wonderment.

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I agree. I put mine in bed at 6:30, we or they depending on my sanity that day, read until 7:00 and then lights out. I do all my shopping after that too. I do have friends who have to work and don’t get to see their kids until 6 so they keep them up until 8 or 8:30 but they don’t drag them all over town. That is not quality time, everyone is tired and cranky so what is the point. They put them down later and go shopping late or wait until the week end.

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We have an 8pm bedtime for our 1 year old. Any earlier and he’s up at God-awful thirty in the morning when this night owl mama doesn’t want to be up! It’s a pretty hard and fast bedtime unless we are out somewhere special (like Grandma’s house) but everyday errands definitely would not keep him up that late! I definitely agree that set bedtimes are important for kids.

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Used to be 7, but we’ve gradually moved to 8 and now 8:30. I liked the 7 best.

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Between 7 and 7:30. Any later and he just wakes up earlier (counterintuitive yes, but that’s the way it’s always been with SB). Given his tendency to wake up in the middle of the night and stay up, it’s imperative that he go down early.

I’m a nighttime grocery shopper too.

tulipmom’s last blog post..I Should Be Sleeping

We are 7-7:30 bedtime too for our 4.5 and 2.5 year olds. Any later and they lose it and that makes for a not so happy mom or they wake up before the crack of dawn.

My husband doesn’t get to see much of them at night since he gets home around 5:30-6 but he agrees with the early bedtime.

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My husband sometimes doesn’t get home until 6 or 6:30 and gets crabby when it comes bedtime for the kids. If he wants crabby, keep the kids up past their bedtime and watch the children AND me completely meltdown! He’s learned that early bedtime is best!

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS

my daughter is up so freakin early that Im TIRED of her mug by 6 pm even if she isnt tired yet.

(she is, but if she werent? I couldnt care less)

that said people are always TELLING ME (?!) I NEED (!) to keep her up later.

sure.

you offering to baby sit?

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When my kids were little they went to bed around 9. Usually up by 7, but they napped in the afternoon. That was my heaven… naptime.

The baby goes to bed by 6:30 or 7 at the latest. Quinn (3.5) goes to bed by 7:30 or 8:00 at the latest. I’ll usually sneak out to go shopping after I put the baby down and am surprised by all the kids out there. I am never surprised by the crabbiness of those kids.
Also - sometimes I’ll sneak out and go shopping during nap time (1pm) and am amazed again at all the little kids (toddlers) out and about during that time. Isn’t 1pm Universal Naptime???
I also tend to judge other parents when I’m out - it’s so hard not to do and then I get that same guilty feeling.
I suppose what works for them works for them. Maybe their kids sleep ’til 9 or 10 the next morning…

I have two girls and they have always gone down early. My youngest is 11 months old and she is sleeping by 6:30pm. My oldest, who is 2 yrs old usually went down by 7:30pm. Lately, she is going down by 8:30. Though she still take a three hour nap in the day. I guess that’s what contributes to the change in bedtime.

Early bedtime is a lesson we had to learn the hard way - and it took WAY too long for us to learn it.

Jay is in bed by 7pm (and always has been - he has been the easy one). Miss E is in bed no later than 7:30. We had a rough few weeks sleep training her but it was so worth it and we are kicking ourselves for not having done this a LONG time ago.

Depending on the time of year, Charity goes to bed between 9-9:30 and 11:30 and midnight. When we’re home and she’s in school, she goes to bed about 9 or so and wakes up between 7:30 and 8:15. When we’re in ‘carny’ mode, OE & I are usually up til around 2 or 3, so her getting up that early would literally kill me, so she goes to bed closer to midnight and gets up between 10 and 11. She’s still taking naps though, and she doesn’t nap til about 4:30 or 5, so she stays in a fairly good mood til I mention the word bed. Now when we get closer to going to regular school, she’ll go to bed much earlier, but for now, it works for us.

My two were always in bed at 7.30 (unless we were out with family, and sometimes in bed at their place). But now they are 13 and 14 we try to do in bed by 8 and lights out by 8.30.

My boy (the 13yo) is usually first asleep, unless something is bothering him, then he lets us know when we go check on him at 9pm.

My girl has ALWAYS been a late-to-sleep girl - if she’s asleep before 10.30 it’s good. I blame her dad! When I was pregnant she would kick me at about 11pm, and so my sweet husband…how I love him…would poke her, so she would kick back…and so on… Even as a baby we would put her down at night and check on her an hour later so see these little black eyes looking at us out of the dark. She may go to sleep late, but she’s in bed with the light off at 9pm, and no complaints in the morning when she has to get up for school.

My 1.5 year old is no later than 7:30, usually 7. My 3.5 was 8, 8:30 at the latest, but he has now decided that he no longer needs naps, so he is now going to bed by 7:30 as well.

My oldest daughter will be 6 in June and baby sister just turned 3. We “start” bedtime at 8. Some nights they are zonked out by 8:30. Last night the baby was wired for sound and I swear she was awake kicking in her room at 9! But I don’t get them up until 7 a.m. Although I work, I get home by 1 every day but my husband closes his shop at 6 every night so we don’t mind them sleeping in until 7. That gives mama 40 minutes to get big sister ready for carpooling to kindergarten.

Now when they were babies they were asleep BY 8 p.m. and took two naps a day until age 2. Oh happy day!

On Sunday nights they are usually both wiped out and will often fall asleep about 7:30. Yee haw!

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Our bun in the oven is still cooking but I never ever ever understood the late bedtime. EVER. I remember being so angry when I had to babysit for this one family because the kids had a 9:30pm bedtime….I’m completely with you. IF you can’t end your day with a small slice of calm and sanity how can you be expected to get up and do it all over again?

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Q goes to bed between 8 and 9 most nights. He usually gets up between 7 and 8 and sometimes naps, sometimes doesn’t (he’s 3). Sometimes he doesn’t get to bed until 10 if we’re rushing around but those are usually Bad. Nights.

My reasoning behind this is mostly that he needs some quality time with his Daddy every night, and Daddy often doesn’t get home until 6. I like us to eat dinner as a family, which means we eat around 6 or 7 depending on when Daddy gets home. Then it’s bath and a bed ritual.

We’ve been known to haul the kids out at 7 for grocery shopping, but we usually keep it for the weekends. I don’t usually do full-on shopping on my own, just the occasional trips for an item or two.

And I, too, need kid-free time before bed. That just means that on late nights, I go to bed late. Jude won’t usually go down for his long stretch (haha, what long stretch?!) until 10 or 10:30 anyway.

It works for us.

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My son is also of the model that wakes up at 6 or 7 am no matter what time he goes to bed. We had a 7 pm bedtime before I worked, now we have an 8 pm bedtime because I get home at 6 and play/dinner/bath just takes two hours.

But listen to this! Some people’s children don’t wake up at 6 am every day. In my mom’s group, there are people whose toddler/preschooler age children will sleep until 9 or even 10 am. And so they are still getting 12 hours.

I relearned my lesson about going to bed on time this weekend. On Friday night I picked Henry up from daycare at 6, then we went out for burritos, then we got a copy of the Wizard of Oz, then we got a new pair of shoes, then we played at the children’s museum until close at 8. We drove home a 1/2 hour all the while Henry was clutching the Wizard of Oz in his hot little hands asking about the story. So we got home and started the movie at 8:45 pm (and he’s 3!). He stayed up for the whole thing and let me tell you, the next morning at 6 am he was a grumpy, grumpy kid. The rest of the weekend was catch-up sleep. Whoops!

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7-7:30 is our bedtime here…if it reaches 8 or 8:30pm I leave the house and let dh deal with the mess. My kids can’t handle the late bedtime and neither can I.

What gets me is the parents who take their kids out to eat at 8-9pm at night. That’s crazy. Who wants a sugar filled kid at 9:30-10pm at night?

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My four year old twins go to bed between 8-9 each night. They sleep until 8-9 the next morning so I do not think I could get them down any earlier. They still take a pretty good afternoon nap which I wouldn’t trade either.

About a month ago, I thought we should skip the nap and put them down earlier…it was a mess.

It just works for us.

We like to have our family time in the evenings and my son needs daddy time. He’s typically in bed by 8:00 (he’s not tired before then…somedays I wish he was!). Now, he is 3 1/2 and has just eliminated the nap within the last few months. 8:00 bedtime is on a non-nap day (which is typical lately), but if I’m fortunate enough to get him to take a nap, then that affects his bed time that night, which would then be around 9:30.

I’ve definitely been out with my son at 8:30, or so, on a nap day if I have to go to the store with him. Or if there’s a special event once in a while we don’t avoid going because we might get home a little past bed time. Some women who are out grocery shopping with their kids at 8:30/9:00 may not have a choice. They work a full-time job, husband could be out of town or they are a single parent. Could be a plethora of reasons. I don’t necessarily agree with young kids out VERY late though (like after 10), which I have definitely seen before, but we never know what their situation is.

I agree with the me time, if I didn’t get it (and occasionally I don’t) I’d go nuts. But I do have to confess, that although we have a pretty strict 8pm lights-out rule on weeknights, we’re often lax on non-school nights.

You would never, NEVER, catch me taking my kids grocery shopping past their bedtime, though. That would make me completely insane, it’s bad enough when I have to take them fully awake!

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My girls are 9 and 5 and both go to bed at 8:00pm. The older one is allowed to read for up to an hour IN BED. If she comes out trying to talk with us she is sent to bed and her lights are turned off for her. This rarely happens. When the little one can read, we are in for some major trouble!
We have always put them to bed early for the same reasons you do. I too play the role of Your Honor the Judge when I see people dragging around tired kids after bed time.
Oh and 7:00am is blissfully sleeping in around here.

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We’ve had a 7:30-8 pm bedtime and I stick to it no matter what. If I keep her up any later for whatever reason, she ends up waking up EARLIER and that is SO NOT cool!

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I am exactly like you. My kid wakes up no later than 7 regardless of if she goes to bed at 9 or at 7, so I choose 7. Now that it’s light out longer it’s between 7-7:30, but no later than that. The last few hours of the day that is “my” time is precious! & I also cringe when I see people out with kids past 8 pm and wonder how they do that. You’re not the only McJudgerson.

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OY!

I had a friend once who went grocery shopping with her kids (2 and infant) anywhere from 10:00 PM to 1:00 AM. And then she wondered why she was so burned out, and why her boys had trouble sleeping through the night. “But they sleep in with me…”

Seriously?!?

Seriously.

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Depending on the time change, my twin 2yr-olds are in bed by 7-8. Our 10yr-old is in bed by 8:30.

I also shop once they go o bed, but I actually hate that. I’m tired, I still have to unload the car when I get home, and then put everything away before I go to bed. Yucky. But, it’s easier to get all my shopping done without the two of them fussing through the whole store.

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Aren’t they tired of their kids? Yes
Don’t they know their kids should be in bed? A wee bit critical there…
Don’t they want their own time? Absolutely

Most nights my kids are in bed between 8 and 9. However, there have been days where there were things we had to do and it has kept them out past 9. Girl scout meetings that end at 8:30 and I need to grab milk and bread on the way home, dinner out with grandparents that inevitably go late. Especially now when it doesn’t even start to get dark until 8:00 it seems our days go later. You might find me at the grocery store at 9:00 with three kids in tow just ready to pull my hair out. It’s not often but I can completely understand how it happens. We’re not all perfectly organized and scheduled.

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I hate shopping at night too, but it’s less evil than going with the kids!

I totally agree with you Jennifer. I often find myself judging parents like that too. (I’ll tell you a funny story in a minute.) Zachariah goes to bed between 7:30 - 8:00. No later than 8:00! When he was a baby is was 7:00 in bed. Now he sleeps around 12 hours a night (give or take a little certain days), and he still takes at least a 2 hour nap during the day. Naptime and bedtime are my saving graces. I need that time for me.

One time we had kept Zachariah out a little late in the evening. We’d gone to dinner then stopped at a store for some quick shopping. Zachariah was in a great mood, so we figured why not this once. (He’s a pretty flexible kid most times.) Anyway, my husband noticed several families with young kids/babies out, many of the kids being extremely grumpy. He looks at me and says “Why do they have those kids up so late? It looks like they need to be in bed.” (He isn’t usually so judgemental about parenting, so that surprised me that he even noticed.) Then he looks over and realizes that we still have Zachariah up. It’s not a common occurance for us, but what does that look like to other people. Maybe they were in the sam boat as us. Funny!

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Like you, I need that me time in the evening. My son goes down around 7 and my daughter (*) goes to bed at 8:30. My husband gets home at 9:30 so I have a full hour of alone time and it is a god send.

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My 28 month old is going to wake up between 6:00 and 6:45 no matter what so I like to do an early-ish bed time (7:30 give or take 15 minutes) . . . if he goes to bed much later, he will either get up at the same time or earlier.

For now, the early bedtime means only a little bit of time with daddy each evening and no eating dinner as a family during the week. However, with this plan, there’s time for daddy/son time in the morning and daddy/mommy time in the evening.

Our second son is due in early July, and I already nervous about the first several months before the baby can go to bed early because I’ve gotten so used to a couple of hours to myself each night. I guess I’ll survive though!

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My son goes to bed at 8 p.m. It’s just when he gets sleepy. I never tried to put him to bed earlier because he doesn’t seem tired. Since I don’t get home until 5 p.m. I wouldn’t want him to fall asleep earlier, although if he did get sleepy at 7 p.m., that’s when I would put him to bed.

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It depends, but lately it’s been between 6pm and 7pm. He’s definitely in his room by 6:30pm at the latest. Some nights he decides he’s over the day and wants to go to bed early, and hey, who am I to deny my lovely little one more sleep? (and more time for my husband and I do to…well…you know…Okay, I’m not going to lie - watch recorded TV shows cause we’re pathetic).

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Since I’m with the kids all day and see them all. day. long. I NEED that time in the evening. They go to bed between 6:30 and 7:30 generally, depending on how naps, dinner, baths, etc go.
Plus, no matter WHAT time I put them to bed they get up between 5 & 6:30 AM every. day.

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Between 7:30 and 8:00 with almost never an exception, although Grandma and Grandpa tend to ‘bend the rules’. I just can’t for the life of me understand why someone wouldn’t crave some peaceful night hours. But then again, I guess some kids are just night owls…

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This topic is running rampant at our house currently. Our one year old is in bed by 7, 7:30 AT THE LATEST! She is a raving B if she’s not in bed by then! Seriously, no one wants to deal with her. And she’ll sleep until 8 the next morning.
Our son…..well, he’s 3 and he apparently believes he’s in charge. Up until he got really sick and ended up hospitalized he was in by 7:30 or 8 each night. Since then we’ve had so many sleep issues that it has just been easier to keep him with us downstairs but now it’s getting old. He has bad night terrors and horrible memories of the hospital etc. But he seems to be outgrowing them. We’re back to enforcing an 8:30 bedtime. He naps at school and that actually keeps him going into the evening. We could either fight with him at 7 and put him down and let him scream for an hour because he’s just not ready or we can wait until 8 and have a pleasant going to bed experience where he actually falls asleep quickly. Although he sounds like your little ones, regardless of what time he goes in, he’s up at 7 every morning!

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When my youngest was a baby, hubby didn’t get home from work until 7-8pm due to a project, so she stayed up until 10pm and had daddy time. If hubby couldn’t make it home, we would get in the car and go meet him near the office for dinner, sometimes at 9pm. I would stop and get stuff at the store on the way back, but my kid CRAVED stimulation, so the grocery store was like Disneyland.

However, she WOULD sleep until 9 or 10am in the morning, so that TOTALLY worked for me. When school started, we of course had to curtail the late nights and 8pm became the norm.

I’m just sayin’. Don’t judge too harshly. We have no idea of their circumstances and why they are out. It might be better for us to have them in bed, but it might work out differently for others.

And shopping alone at nights is THE BOMB. I actually know what’s in the food I’m buying because I get to look at labels and stuff.

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Oooh…prepare to gasp, woman.

Dylan goes to bed between 8:30 and 8:45 most nights. Zach, between 8 & 8:30. Anytime I’ve tried to put Zach down, after a normal nap day, before 8 he wakes up at 4 or 5, which just DOES NOT work for me. Dylan likes to spend time with us in the evenings, and since DJ is gone for most of the day, that leaves us with a late bedtime.

Of course, this is all dependent on the activities of the day. If we missed naps, bedtime is earlier. If we’re out and about, it’s later. Shocking I don’t have a better system in place, isn’t it?

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Joining the nation of judges to agree that bedtime (7:30 for toddler, 8:00 for School Ager) is the source of all sanity.

But what bugs me is my neighbor who does not do bedtimes and knows that I do, will bring their kids over to my house with them AFTER 8:00!!! What’s up with that???

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Bedtime for my lil guy is usually between 7-7:30. Although there area plenty of nights that he’s in before 7:00. I’m like a lunatic if he’s up later than 7:30! No matter what time he goes to bed, he’s up around 6:30 am. But I have noticed the later he goes to bed……..the crabbier he is in the am. That boy needs his sleep and his mama needs her quiet time!

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Hmm… I wrote about shopping with kids today too. I can’t stand going with all three of them.

I need my alone time at night and the kids go to sleep at the latest 8pm.

How else can a mommy be sane?

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I used to scowl at people who had their kids out late, too, until I had one. She happens to be the kind of kid that needs precisely 10 hours of sleep at night if she is to take any sort of nap. If she gets less, she won’t nap at all. If she gets more, she cuts her nap from 2 1/2 hours to less than an hour. I know it doesn’t make sense, but what about kids does?

Anyway, she wakes up at 7:30, so if I back things up 10 hours, she doesn’t go to bed until around 9:00 (asleep by 9:30). Honestly, I’m glad about the whole thing because I don’t pick her up from daycare until 5:30, so it’s nice to get some time with her before we all go to sleep.

I still scowl at my SIL who keeps her kids up until after midnight all.the.time. Sure, they sleep in until 10 or 11, but what are they going to do when they start school?

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My first comment! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but have never commented before.

My 1 year old is in bed every night by 6pm. If she’s not, I know she will either wake up really early, or wake up numerous times during the night. So I strive to make it 6 every night. My 3 year old goes to bed between 7-7:30, but when she was a baby, she went to bed at 5pm! Everyone would look at me funny when I told them that, but it was the same deal…if she went to bed any later she wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep. She’d sleep solid from 5pm-7am every day, as long as she was in bed by 5.

I know a lot of people have made comments to me before about me putting my kids to be too early, but it works for us and that’s all that matters!

My kids go to bed around 9pm. My eight year old gets up around 8am and my two year old around 9am. We do late bedtime so we can have enjoy the evening as a family.

We homeschool, so I have to get me time in different ways. I go work out alone as soon as DH gets home. My toddler naps for about two hours starting at 2:00. I spend that time resting, reading, or working on my own projects. Oh, and I absolutely refuse to do weekly shopping with children. I usually do that on Saturday morning. I hate shopping and adding kids to the mix is hell.

I often get a little judgy myself wondering if kids who go to sleep early miss their fathers (or whichever parent works) during the week. On the other hand, I understand that most of them have to wake up at the crack of dawn to go to school.

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I strive for 7:30, but with summer and longer light, it’s creeping into the 8/8:30 range. Which ticks me off. I need “me” time also.

They share a room, so they sneak in some play after they are (supposed to be) tucked in. I let them get away with that a little because I want them have fun together, and the idea of snickering and giggling when they are supposed to be sleeping will be good memories as they grow up.

But, my almost two year old falls asleep in his lunch every day…

We do 8:30. I would do earlier but I work so I would never see the little guy. As long as we stick to the schedule he is okay.
But I agree. WTH is up with the late night shoppers with kids? If I try to take Bean shopping at any time after 6 it is HELL.

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Between 7 and 7:30…I experimented with putting Alex down later but he still gets up at the same time (between 6 and 7am) so I thought…why? I work full time and try to pick him up by 4 but then spend those 3 hours with my full attention focused on playing and reading to him so I don’t feel bad when he goes to bed that early.

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The Poo hits the sheets at 8 p.m. - and she usually falls asleep by 8:30. We had to back it up from 7:30 b/c she wold stay awake for an hour anyways. Plus, if I get her down at 8, she sleeps later.

But DUDE. I hear you. Some days I am LIVING for bedtime.

I put her down around 8PM. I work full-time so I get to spend from 3PM until 8PM with her. My husband works the “late shift” which is 9AM-6PM so he would hardly get to see her if we put her down earlier than that. I can’t imagine going to the grocery store with her anytime after 6PM though…she would have a meltdown, from 7 until 8 is pretty much just winding down snuggling and reading books.

my kids are in bed at 6:45, 7:45 and 8. but sooo many of friends’ kids are in bed 9, 9:30…i totally don’t understand it! there’s no possible way i’d be able to function without my evenings!

I get off work @ 5. Normally home by 5:30. Daddy picks up BooRat from K and is normally home around 5:50-6:00. IF I’ve remembered to pull something out for dinner, it’s it’s almost always ready within 20 min of their getting home. Dinner, bath follows. BooRat is almost 6. Bedtime around our house is *usually* 8:30, with the exception of Tuesday nights - that’s when he and Daddy snuggle in bed and watch “Deadliest Catch”
Works for us !

Babyhead goes to be usually when we do at 10:30. If he goes to be earlier he will get up earlier…sometimes WAY earlier…at 10:30 he is pretty much guaranteed to sleep at least until 8. See…I am an insomniac and it takes a long time for me to get to sleep anyway…so I would rather have my sleep in the morning then have him sleep early…me struggle to get to sleep until around 2am then have him wake up a mere 3 or 4 hours later.

Now, granted I do not KEEP him up that late…he does quite often go to sleep earlier on the couch or in his bed, whatever he prefers…but usually no earlier than 9…anything earlier I can’t deal with in the morning. However, he rarely takes naps (he hasn’t since he was 18 months…not by MY choice, by his own)…if he does take a nap it takes me until midnight or later to get him to go to sleep….so I am happy with no naps as well.

I know…we are weird.
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Hi Ari! Glad to have you as a new commenter.

I think that that this is what this is all about, it’s what works for people. If 5 PM works, then great! If 9 PM works, that’s great, too!

Thanks Candy, for your honesty about admitting judging those who miss daddy time!

For us, my husband understands my need for time, but he also understands that the kids are not fun to hang with much after 7:30!

Sandy, you’re not weird, you’re just doing what works for your family.

When my son was napping (a very long two years ago) he would go to bed at 8PM since he didn’t wake from his nap sometimes until 5PM. Now, we put him to bed at 7PM, but he doesn’t normally fall asleep until 8PM. If we kept him up with us until 8PM he’d be a complete mess, so this is what works for us.

My two year old is in bed around 7:30pm. Sometimes it may be a little later, but he is definitely ready at 7:30.

My four year old is a different story. We have struggled with bed time since she was an infant. Sometimes I can get her in bed by 8:00pm (which is her bedtime) and other days it is a struggle that lasts much longer.

They are both up between 7-7:30am.

That said, wind down time in our house starts right after dinner. Sometimes we will take a walk, or read or play quietly….but then it’s bath and bed.

You wouldn’t believe what others do though. We have a neighbor that has a little girl who is about 7. She knocks on our door for my daughter at 8pm at night! Unbelievable!

Val’s last blog post..What’s This Crap!?!?!?

When Eeyore was younger he would sleep later if he went to bed earlier. Like, some nights? He was in bed at 6pm and wouldn’t get up til 8 or 9. I tried to make that happen once a week. Now that he’s 8, he goes to bed at 10 every night (but reads in bed for about half an hour) and gets up on his own between 7 and 8. Cindy-Lu usually goes to bed around 8:30 or 9 and usually wakes up around 8. If I try putting her to bed before 8, she just wakes up that much earlier. Last week I put her down at 7 and she was up at 5. Not doing that again. Ever.

Karly’s last blog post..Lollipops, Fuzzy Kittens, And Sunshine Sprinkles

Oh - I’m SOOOO with you. On every single point you said. People think we’re freaks b/c our kids go to bed so early.
On Friday I went to the mall shopping - and I was surprised by 2 things:
1. People (adults) were out at night. Shocking.
2. People were out at night with small children.
And if my kids didn’t go to bed early, I would be in an asylum. And I don’t say that lightly.
No matter what time they’re in bed, they’re up b’n 6:30 and 7 and for the love of their mother and her sanity, they go to be early.

Teri’s last blog post..Fun for Froot Loopies

8:00 and it is night night time…

Sometimes later on the weekends and in summer. Like when a group of our friends come over and they have kids as well.

Bridge’s last blog post..Stress…

Testify, Sister. I’m all about the early bedtime. For a long time, my daughter went to sleep at 6pm. This shocked our families and neighbours but I think they were secretly jealous. Now that she’s two, bedtime has moved back to about 7ish depending on the day. It’s nice to have time to take her to the park after supper but Mom n Dad really need their Mom n Dad time, if you know what I mean.

Joline’s last blog post..Fun for Froot Loopies

I’m with you. I want the kids in bed at 7:30 PM every night. They get up at 7 AM, whether they go to sleep at 7:30 or if we are somewhere special, like Disneyland, and they don’t get into bed until 9 PM. I don’t understand those people at Target at 9 PM at night, the ones with the crying, eye-rubbing children.

Mama DB’s last blog post..Up your nose with a rubber hose

Since I forget that other people’s lives go on beyond 8 PM, I’m also shocked when I see ADULTS out at night. I remember when my nights didn’t even START until 10 or 11.

Mom n Dad time…OH YEAH. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Bow chanka bow bow!

(Although I sometimes, okay OFTEN, hide to avoid Mom n Dad time.)

My 5 year old is in bed between 7:30 and 7:45. She doesn’t always fall asleep right away…sometimes its 8:15 or so until she closes her eyes. The rules are that she doesn’t have to go right to sleep, but she does have to stay in bed. She is often so tired and she doesn’t even know it.

I had/have a book that I live by….Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I don’t even loan it out anymore, for fear of losing it.

You always hear parents say that their baby has a “fussy time”…its because they should be in bed asleep.

7:30 for my almost-4-year-old and the 1.5yr old (though we may up that to 8 soon). With two “active” (read: insane) little boys we desperately need those quiet hours in the evenings.

I know a family with kids around the same age as ours who let their kids stay up until 11 or later. I can’t even fathom that and find it more than mildly disturbing.

Kelly’s last blog post..Dear Ethan - 45 months

When I was working I had my oldest in bed by 7 or 7:30 because we had to be up early.
Since I’ve stopped working, and since oldest switched to afternoon Kindergarten, and we don’t have to be up early, they are in bed between 8-8:30.
Three year old is asleep when his head hits the pillow, six year old is awake looking at books or drawing until 10 some nights. He has a hard time getting to sleep, but the rule is that he has to stay in bed quietly, which he does.
They both get up between 8-8:30 in the morning.

LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..Going Green (the other kind)

My nieces go to bed at 8pm. I’m with you on the early bedtime.

But there are nights when they stay up too late, but it’s hard to get everything done some nights. Especially when they don’t get picked up until 6. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does it sucks. I can only imagine what it would be like to have it that way. You almost have to keep them up too see them. I guess that’s why people have their kids in the store that late.

Phoenix’s last blog post..Things my nephew will NOT be named

7:30 for the 19 month old and 8:00 for the 4 yr old.

i love the early bedtime, it gives hubs and me special time together and allows me some quiet time before I go to bed.

rachel’s last blog post..Mommy’s Graduation Day

We put The Boy down anywhere between 7:30 and 8:30, depending on his nap situation and how tired he is when it gets to be bedtime.

He gets up at 6 every day no matter what time we put him down. Also, I need the time to myself before bed.

I have been to the grocery store at 8 or 9 and see kids there. Or at restaurants. And we do have a couple of friends whose kids stay up until 10 and then they sleep in until 7 or 8 (they are home schooled so they have this option).

I say whatever works for your family is what you should do.

RubiaLala’s last blog post..Mommy Goes Green

My kids are 10, 7, and 11 months old, and the children MUST go to bed at 7:30!!! I’d be a crazed lunatic without my child-free time too. They’re not crazy about the early bedtime, especially since Indiana adopted daylight savings time to be in line with New York (are they F****ing kidding me??), but they are up at 5AM, so like it or not, they’re usually tired out by then. There’s nothing like going to sleep when the sun’s shining and waking up before the birds do. Arrrggh!

wow…how do you all do it??
i get the girls in bed by 8:30 (reading books) and lights out by 9:00 or 9:30…depending upon how everyone is cooperating!
but, often the oldest doesn’t fall asleep before 10:00 or 10:30! she has a really difficult time relaxing to fall asleep…i think her mind is always working - hmmm, wonder where she gets that?
for me…the later bedtime and downtime together is best because i work full time and my husband is a pilot - so, often not home. it gives me a chance to give the girls mommy-time and make up for daddy time too!
and the girls easily sleep until 7 or 8…
i am guilty of bringing the girls out late to the store a few times (when husband is gone and we are completely out of something)…but totally agree that i judged everyone else there too!

jen’s last blog post..1 year old…

I am one of those disorganized all over the place losers with cranky kids in target at 8pm. But my husband gets home at 7, and while I could go to wm alone, I don’t want to. MOST of the time my kids are good, but then again my kids will throw a tantrum at target even during the middle of the day, so I can’t win.

He gets home at 7, we eat dinner “late” and then they get to play with one toy till daddy can’t stand the screaming anymore and then they go to bed. When he’s not around, those buggers are IN BED by 7!

I just do whatever works for me. I get a lot of stares, but I just don’t care.

jen’s last blog post..staying that line

I have just recently started reading your blog, and have enjoyed it.

I am offended enough by your assertion that all children ’should’ be in bed before 8:30p.m. to delurk.

My husband and I are both night people and always have been. I spent countless hours as a child lying awake in bed after having been sent there at 8.

My two-year old has inherited her parents owl-like nocturnal gene as well. If she were to go to sleep at 7, she would treat it as an evening nap, awake at 8 or 9, and not go to bed for the night until 1 in the morning.

Rather than struggle with her and be faced with a CIO situation while the sun is still shining through her window, I follow her own sleep cues. Lately, she will literally tell me when she is ready to go to bed, or at the very least bring me her blankie or ask to be rocked, etc. etc. This usually happens around 10-10:30. Then she sleeps till 9 in the morning. So call me crazy, but I think she’s gonna be ok…

I am still very strict on bedtime. When they were little it was between 7 and 730. Then it moved to 8-830. It now will STAY at 830 with lights off by 9 (They do their reading in bed).

My kids never got up QUITE that early, so bedtime was a bit later for us, but I always think “WTF” when I see kids at the store at 10pm.

(I DO NOT take my kids to the grocery store unless totally unavoidable, so good call for you.)

Loralee’s last blog post..“Oh, yah! You betcha!” OR “Longest post ever”(Oh, stop your bitching and just read the damn thing. It’s not like I’ve been overwhelming you with blog posts lately, you big whiner.)

The three-year old gets to bed at 8:00. The six- and eight-year olds get to bed at 8:30. The oldest gets up at 7:15, the younger two get up anywhere between then and even *gasp* 9:00, so I don’t feel the pressure to get them to bed earlier anymore.

Carrie’s last blog post..Busy, Busy

Great post. Going through DGM links. My two (aged 4 and 2) are in bed at 8 sharp. The same people that take the kids to friggin’ Wal-Mart at 10:00 PM are morons. Sorry. They are.

My 12 YO goes to bed at 8 PM on school nights because she has to get up early in order to get to school by 7 AM. My step-daughter has an 8 PM bedtime at her mom’s house too. It’s only the weekends or vacation that we let them stay up later.

My parents and my in-laws take turns babysitting the 4 YO and 11 MO during the week. Sometimes they will let the two kids take 3 HOUR LONG naps, typically from 2 PM- 5 PM. I usually have to wake them when I get there to pick them up. Fortunately, the baby will still go to bed by 8-9 PM but my 4 YO doesn’t get sleepy until it’s REALLY late. She’ll usually stay up with whoever is awake last, myself or my husband. And even when we put her down to sleep, she’ll lay there for a long time, wide awake, quietly talking to her doll. We’ve tried to discourage our parents from the long naps but they say that when they try to wake the kids up earlier, they either fall back asleep or are really grumpy. Sometimes I get lucky and the kids might have SKIPPED their naps or only taken a short one and I’ll have everyone in bed by 8 PM. That is HEAVEN, right there!

SherE1’s last blog post..Smoke On!

Seriously I could have written this post word for word because I think and feel the exact same way. Both my kids go to bed at 7:30 every night. Every day, around 5:30…I can think to myself…only 2 more hours of the bouncy house fun zone. Then mama can crash! I know, to each her own….but if my kids were up after 8, I believe I might self-destruct!

ellinghouse’s last blog post..My weekend in review…as if you care.

Madness babes are 13, 12, 10, 8 and 6 .. so they all now have 8:30 bedtimes. Madness herself would go to bed at 8:30 if it wouldnt land her in divorce court… but anyway… I personally think 8:30 on school nights is too late for the youngest two babes on account of they dont go to SLEEP till more like 9:30 or 10:00 because they share a room and stay up GIGGLING ALL NIGHT!! Just last night I threatened to start putting them to bed at 7!!! and tonight.. I JUST MIGHT!

Madness’s last blog post..AY-DUBYA-EE-ESS-OH-EM-EE AWSOME

(Madness doesnt take her children out ANYWHERE after dark very often .. if at ALL… on account of … the world is a scary scary place that isnt FIT for children). Seriously.

Madness’s last blog post..AY-DUBYA-EE-ESS-OH-EM-EE AWSOME

I am completly shocked by the early bedtimes! I would have loved to get any of mine down by those times. My 8 year old has lights off at 10, asleep by 10:45. She gets up at 6:30 and no nap. I could put her in bed at 8 but she would still be up til 10:45! My two older ones also had lights out at 10:00. During the summer and on weekends she stays up later, usually asleep by midnight or so. I am so jealous of these bed times, I wish I had a couple of hours at night to myself.

justmylife’s last blog post..Thank the Lord it’s Monday!

We shoot for 8 too. If it’s 8 my boys will sleep 12 hours. If it’s 9 when we put them down, they’ll sleep in till 9 blissful a.m. I guess they don’t care when the 12 hours start as long as they get it… I do find that I shoot harder for the 8 bedtime than my hubs; his nerves have not had all day to be frayed into little bits like mine, so he’s not as eager to get them down as I am.

Christine’s last blog post..It gets that way late in the day

No name calling please. Please refer to my comment policy. Just sayin’

Also, just want to say that I’ve learned a lot reading these comments and *get* why someone might be out late with their kids. As a commented earlier, I think that people have to do whatever works best for their family.

Lastly, I have ALREADY apologized for judging in my post, so I’m not going to again. And I’d like to remind you all that seem offended by my judging, I HIGHLY suspect that you have judged someone’s parenting choices at one time or another, too. The difference here being that I chose to admit it in a public forum and realize that by admitting it this way, I’m opening myself up for criticism. Shall be posting about judging again tomorrow, too much to say in my own comments section.

Ok, one more thing…just reminding you all to keep it nice.

Mine are 3 and 4…they are both in bed, asleep by 7:45, 8 at the latest. They get up between 6;30-7 every day. The three year old will nap maybe once a week. But for the most part, they do an hour of quiet time after lunch.

I used to do my shopping at night. When they were nursing, it was about the only time I could get away. I swear I had kids attached to me for almost two and a half years! (The 4 year old had only weaned a couple of months before the 3 year old was born!)

tommie’s last blog post..Manic Monday and some butterflies (day 12)

Mine ALL (even the 7- and 9-year-old) go to bed at 7:00. Which ends up often being more like 6:50, because OMG. The older two are allowed to stay up and read or do quiet things (workbooks, puzzle books, talking softly to each other, even playing quiet board games), but they have to be IN THEIR ROOM.

Swistle’s last blog post..Questions Answered, and Teacher Appreciation Week

I am SO FAR from a “good enough mother” to be able to be judgemental about ANYONES parenting .. but I must say Ive always felt bad for the wee ones who are out at the store (or anywhere) at night. But then again.. thats prolly just because I myself would rather be home in bed.

Madness’s last blog post..Indiana Presidential Primary today ..

I stay home, so by 8:00 I am done. I want to be alone, even if I am scrubbing a toilet or folding clothes. Our kids generally go to bed at 7:30, but we have to go up and remind them that its bed time a few times, so they fall asleep around 8:00 or so, waking up around 7:00am. In the summer, we cook-out more and play more outside, so bed time could be later, but they crash hard so its nice! My kids are 3 1/2, 2 1/2 and 10 months. The wee one goes down about 6:45!

Bedtime on most nights for the girls is no later than 7:30. Now that’s BEDtime…nobody said they went to sleep *lol*

But yes, I need adult time.

Now, DC is 10, so his bedtime is 9-9:30 most nights…but he’s generally a quiet kid. He doesn’t run around the room half nekkid and screaming like a banshee.

I’m in total (judgmental) agreement with you. Kids do NOT need to be out until all hours (yes, 8PM is “all hours”) of the night. I think it’s assinine. It stresses parents and kids alike. My bedtime was 8PM until I was 10. I hated it, but it was. My kids will be no different.

Sadie’s last blog post..The cake lady needs help…

Okay, first, Good God. 91 responses. Jennifer, seriously. Stop being so popular and writing good stuff.

Second, I just read something that said that the cutoff time for a good bedtime is 9. I’m sure one of the 90890 comments above me says that, too.

Finally, my kids go to bed around 11pm.

Kidding, they are in bed between 8-9, though we’ve been pushing it back 1/2 an hour at a time, trying to hit 7:30-8. I think I learned that from you. Because, yeah, they wake up at 6:30 in the morning even if they went to sleep at midnight.

Don’t ask me how I know that.

Velveteen Mind - Megan’s last blog post..A Few Loose Strings from my Threadbare Mind

I’m a huge believer in the importance (and comfort) of routine, so I’m a stickler for consistent bedtimes.

Mine are 5 and 3. We start reading stories around 7:15 and they’re tucked in by 7:30 to 7:45 p.m.

I make exceptions — relatives visiting, a social outing, vacation, etc… but otherwise, only an emergency would send me to the store with kids in tow at 9 or 10 p.m.

My guess is that a lot of the late-night shoppers are single parents who don’t have any other options.

Arkie Mama’s last blog post..How I met the man who inflicts antiques on me

Nevermind. I see now that you have so many comments because you were being a judgey judge face and talking smack about a bunch of bad parents. I think you also called someone a whore and that they shouldn’t make their kids work the corner with them.

Or something like that. I don’t have time to read all of these comments. I like your green replies, though. I’d use that, but I try to stay out of my comments. It gets rough down here.

Damn! I think someone just smacked me. Who the hell is down here?!

Velveteen Mind - Megan’s last blog post..A Few Loose Strings from my Threadbare Mind

I’m sorry some people don’t get what you meant. I could not agree with you more. And, when I’ve gone out with hubby to dinner in a rare night out, I am shocked to see kids eating dinner at 8:30 or 9. Mine was 6:30-7am until about 2..and gradually, as I have wanted to keep naptime (gotta have naptime) it’s gotten a bit closer to 8. I’m fairly certain nap will be going bye bye before long…and then it will be 7 once more. I need the me time to just watch trash tv and drink heavily.

Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Finding Neverland (and my table is accused of naughty nookie)

While I totally agree (I crave my kid free time) who’s to say what time the kid-free time starts?

I think it can start whenever it works for a family! For me, I can barely keep my eyes open much later than 9:30 or 10, so I MUST have kid-free time start early.

I didn’t read judgy, I read PUSHY! Mine usually knocks out around 9:00. He copes well with Mommy and her glass of wine time and usually, we wind down together by watching TV or something.

Miss’s last blog post..Rehab

Thing 1, age 12, goes to bed at 9.

Thing 2, age 6, goes to bed at 8.

Mom, age we are not going to discuss, goes to bed right after thing 1. I need my beauty rest.

Jess’s last blog post..Rock the vote. Don’t tip the vote over. Rock the vote!!

I’m a big fan of the whole do what works for you thing. I think I say that all the freakin’ time.

Braden currently has bath/teeth brush at 8pm, diapering/PJs/bedtime story around 8:30-9 and then cuddle/lullabye time which lasts about 15 minutes. Then we put him in his crib and leave the room. Sometimes he goes right to sleep, sometimes he plays in his crib (audibly) for anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes and then goes to sleep on his own.

He’s had bedtimes anywhere from 7 to 10 depending on what part of his life we’re looking back at. I usually just pay attention to his behavior during the day, at naps, and in the evening, and if anything ever seems off, I make adjustments and observe the outcomes. That’s what’s always worked best for us… and of course, I have the luxury of not having to worry about being at work at a specific time each day (b/c I’m always at work).
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Braden and the $300 Torture Appointment.

I’m gonna be a lone dissenter (blame Velveteen Mind, she sent me here… ;P ) but my kdis are mostly gorwn. My youngest is 7, a non-sleeper from birth and we homeschool, thus no reason to get up early.

Our routines are just a couple hours off from everyone else’s. Emma comes upstairs with me around 10, she snuggles while I read my book. Daddy comes and gets her around 10:30, reads her a story and tucks her in. I get my alone time and continue reading in bed until he shows up to tuck *me* in. If I don’t fall asleep first… The 2 teenage girls I have go to bed around 11 or so. One of them stays up late to read, but she’s a big girl and if she gets that job and has to wake up at 7 am so she can leave with Daddy in the morning, well that’s her problem.

Emma wakes up anywhere from 8 or 9. I usually wake at 8:30. Most of the kids ignore me all morning. I get as much “me” time as I need (or more) now that they are bigger.

Andrea’s last blog post..Communication: the key to a good marriage

Dang you get the comment love. I’m jealous.
Mrs. Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy’s Day of Tears & Laughter

okay, i admit, i didn’t read all the above comments (wow you get a lot!) but i am *so* with you…my kids are sometimes in bed by 6:30 but almost always by 7….except in the summertime it gets extended sometimes. i never get it when people bring their littlies out and about after 8pm…i need a break from them and they need to go to bed! (plus, mine are like yours - they’ll get up early no matter what i do…)

phyllis’s last blog post..Disappointed…

Mrs. F, apparently people are ALL ABOUT controversy! Who knew it would be about kids’ bedtimes!

I haven’t read all the controversial comments, but here’s what works in our house.

Girls are awake between 7 and 8 am. Bedtime is the same: between 7 and 8 pm. That way, I get a couple hours to unwind and de-mom before going to bed at 10. If I am home on my own at night (like last night) the kids are almost ALWAYS in bed by 730 because after 12 hours of momming, I am DONE by 7 pm and it’s send them to bed or shriek like a fishwife.

Erin’s last blog post..Dog Funnies

I wish my kids would go to bed that early, but no matter what time we start the bedtime routine, my big girl either goes to sleep at 8:50 or at 10:20 pm. There seems to be something to this 90 minute sleep cycle thing, at least in our house. I suppose we could try to rock it back to 7:20, but that’s too early for our lifestyle. My husband isn’t even home half the night by 7, and we wouldn’t be able to have dinner together.

So, we aim for 8:50, unless she’s had a nap, and then it’s 10:20. The baby is a little more flexible, but not much. So, yeah, you’ve probably seen us out after your kids go to bed. Just know that I’m jealous.

I worry about the people who have a cart full of $150 worth of stuff at midnight, with their 3 and 1 year olds. *sigh*

Amy @ prettybabies

Amy’s last blog post..Best Outing Ever

I haven’t read all the above comments but I get the feeling I’m in the minority in that we’ve never had a hard and fast rule about bedtime before 8. . .my husband doesn’t get home until 6:30pm (he leaves work by 5am), so we wait for him to get home so we can have dinner as a family. This is of primary importance to me. Then, around 7:15, the kids go upstairs, get ready for bed and have a story. My youngest (almost 4) is asleep before 8pm most nights. But, the girls (5 & 7) are allowed to read or play quietly in their room after 8pm. I’ll admit that after 8, I’m sort of ‘off duty’ and just keep sending them back to their room if they come talk to me. After 8:30, I start the “go to sleep now!” talk. They are asleep between 8:30-9pm, 99% of the time.

They usually sleep until 7am or 8am, and I like this because I like a little alone time in the morning. We homeschool, so there is no need to rush them in the morning to catch a bus!

Fairly Odd Mother’s last blog post..Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, Part IV

Do I need to even add my input after a these gazillion comments? (shhh, i’m so jealous)

No later than 8 or I begin to eat the paint off of the walls.

Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Hello Karma, Meet My Ass. Go Ahead, Bite It

Well, my kids used to go to bed at 6:30, 7:00-ish. Nowadays they are in school all day. So I have all day long all alone to do my grocery shopping. But they do go to bed later now, probably 9:00, and that’s only because we have ballgames that start at 7:45 p.m. and homework and studying that can sometimes go on for hours. Usually, though, we are home and in bed by 9:00. I can’t imagine what my schedule would be if I were a working mom and just getting home and getting my kids at 6:00 or so. I would have no choice but to feed them and run errands late at night. Obviously, kudos to all working moms out there. I don’t see how you do it!
As the years progress and your children get older, your lifestyle changes according to your kids’ schedule, I guess.

Are you asking what time I put them to bed or what time they actually go to sleep. cuz the two are certainly different. It basically goes like this: mommy puts twins to bed at 8:00 . Twins wait until mommy goes back downstairs and then get out of bed and start playing. Twins don’t realize they are very noisy and mommy hears everything. Mommy yells upstairs for twins to get in bed. They do…for about 5 minutes and then the cycle begins again until Mommy threatens bodily harm or they eventually fall asleep
Worker Mommy’s last blog post..What happens when you have 2 bloggers and a bunch of adult toys ?

I agree with you. I still send my daughter to bed by 9 pm and she’s a freshman in high school. Yeah I get lots of hate over it, but she has to be up by 5 am.

heather’s last blog post..Get the Fuck Over It

i let my kids stay up later than most when they were little because i was at work all day.

the idea of coming home at 6:30 and putting my sons to bed at 7 seemed a little … um … counterintuitive.

the planet of janet’s last blog post..Merry birthday to him and happy craziness to you all

Ok, 113 comments later I doubt you’ll (a) care or (b) read this.

I’m ALL for early. 8 pm each and every night.

MamaGeek’s last blog post..Can You Stomach 1 More Tulip Shot?

Well I am impressed that Jennifer seems to be reading all the comments, BRAVO! Watch what you preach girls ’cause I used to talk badly of my neighbor of three kids and how dirty the 3rd was, how he peed (?) outside, how he would venture over to my house unattended and how I could never have let mine at that age do that. Well fast forward three years and now my kiddo number three is doing all of the above and more. LISTEN UP JENNIFER….that third can be a dozy! The 9 yr old twins get to bed before 10pm most nights after baseball, dance, etc. But they are straight A students. The third will not nap unless exhausted and the car has 5 minutes of quiet between shuttling to dance, baseball, etc. and he sleeps for an hour late afternoon. Its great and works for us, but oh how I laugh that I used to “discuss” my neighbors habits. She said it would all change and boy it did.

[...] Study Confirms, Early Bedtime Makes Mother Less Crazy [...]

Well of course I read all the comments! Are there people who don’t?!

My kids stay up late on special occassions, like when on vacation or visiting family. Otherwise, they are in bed by 8:00 at the latest (they are 6 and 4). My 6 year old gets up between 6 and 7 am no matter how late he stays up. He can be up until 11:00 pm and still get up with the roosters. Sometimes, if my husband and I need a little extra time together or if my kids are extra cranky and obviously tired, we put them to bed at 7:30. Nothing wrong with that!

Heather’s last blog post..A Recipe for Summer Boy Fun

There are two issues here - the actual amount of sleep they get and what you are doing with the kids before bedtime. In our house, because my husband is a doctor and his evenings are unpredictable, we have always had a late bedtime - 9 p.m. on average. That way he gets a chance to really see them each night, and so far it’s fine because my daughter’s school doesn’t start until 9 a.m. and it’s 5 minutes away. When she goes to middle school, however, our late schedule is going to have to change, and I’m dreading it!

The thing that boggles me is the people dragging their kids out of the house so late at night! *I* barely get out after 7 p.m., so what is up with the 5 year old eating candy in the aisles of the store at 10:30 p.m.?

Velma’s last blog post..Actual Unretouched Phone Calls

The title of this post made me howl with laughter. We have always been proponents of early bedtimes because the little dude wakes up before 7 no matter WHEN we put him down. Best get some reprieve in the evenings, I say!

Mrs. Mustard’s last blog post..I’m so cool, I just had to do it

I wish my kids would go to bed at a normal hour - but they don’t. But seriously, it’s no one’s business why or why not. Yes, I need my own TIME, but hey - I also look at it like this - they’re only this age/size/etc. once. I need to take advantage of it before they don’t want me around anymore LOL

Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - FINALLY edition

We’ve been rocking the 7-7:30 bedtimes at our house lately. Weekends tend to be a little more unstructured and unscheduled, so getting the girls to bed an hour later is not unusual. I’m with you, Jennifer - I need some quiet time at night. My husband works second shift so he’s not home until late, and after working a full-time job then coming home to the rigors of dinner/baths/playtime with two girls on my own I’m exhausted. I treasure the time I have to myself, and the girls get the rest they desperately need.

Not to mention, most imporantly, my girls are ready for bed by that time every night. They’re exhausted from playing so hard all day!

the mrs.’s last blog post..Laundry Room Confessions

Our 2.5 yr old goes to bed around 9pm and wakes at 8-ish. It used to be 8pm, but since we moved to the east coast, she’s never been able to revert back to the 8pm bedtime.
Besides…me + anytime before 8am = cranky mom worse than any terrible twoer.

Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..GrAndMa WuZ HerE

Wow that is a lot of comments! Well, I am a single mom that works till at least 5 or 6, then off to the day care to pick up my 4 yr old. Never know if we have to run to the store or have a softball game. If there is a game we do dinner afterwards, that means home at 9pm. Single moms do need a bit of a life outside of home and work.

When home we try to start bedtime at 8 pm. But she stays up and “reads” in bed for up to an hour. Normally she is not asleep till 9pm. The girl just like so read. I only get maybe 3-4 hours a day with my girl and if it means going against the social norm that is fine with me

I learned a while back to let it go when I see kids out late. It isn’t easy to juggle it all, so sometimes it is just needed. They may be out a bit late but not everyone has a husband at home or gets to work at home. You have to do what works for your family we are all different!

Hi, I’m one of those out with her kids at 10pm. They aren’t sleepy because they woke up late. (We homeschool and they usually sleep til 9-ish, so they get plenty of sleep.) When they were toddlers, they were frequently up til 10 or even 11. They took long naps then and were awake when their father got home. He bathed them and had some time with them. They have always been great sleepers, just on a different schedule than everyone else. It worked great for us!!! It never interfered with our evenings and we were able to go places without hurrying home with a cranky toddler or trying to beat it back before bedtime. They’d be perfectly happy eating out at a 7:30 dinner. They are almost 10 yr old twins and an 11 yr old and still, I can’t figure out how those who have to have kids in bed before it’s even dark get anything done. I guess you all have the luxury of babysitters or family. Even tomorrow, we have a 7:30 ball game. It won’t end til 9:30 probably. If I had younger kids, they’d be coming along.; Good thing I don’t have a toddler now or someone would be judging me! LOL

I completely agree with you. My kids are just like yours. Up at 7 a.m. no matter when they go to bed. My husband doesn’t believe this and thinks it is “no big deal” if they get to bed late. Well, Saturday night they didn’t get to bed until 9:30 (usually it is around 8). Both kids were up at 7 and were SO cranky all day.

I remember being on vacation once at the beach with my family. My 1 year old was sleeping at the house with my parents babysitting while my hubby and got out for dinner and drinks. There were little toddlers swimming at almost 11 at night! I just felt so sorry for them, thinking of my little one tucked in. But then again, I don’t know these people from Adam. It is possible the child took a very late and long nap and was fine.

But, on the other hand, our neighbor’s have a second grader and we see her out until 9:30 at least on school nights. And then her mom told me that she is a bear to wake up in the morning. I can’t believe she is serious!

Irene’s last blog post..The unabashed love of Daddy’s girl

We are fairly Nazi about bedtime. Sleep is so important, and Declan is a a SLEEPER. And I, too, love my adult time after bedtime. It’s just about now, at age near 6 that we are starting to have sometimes late nights. SOMETIMES.

Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..I like to feel myself up.

Soooooo many comments, I didn’t read them, so this is probably just echoing…

I absolutely need the time between their bedtime and mine. I put mine to bed at 8:30 but I start getting them ready at 8. They are 11 and 8.

Speaking of which… I need to nudge them along!

Dory’s last blog post..A Very Bloggy Birthday To Me

We have done it both ways. Late to bed, late to wake because daddy didn’t get home until 7-8pm and nobody had school. Now that the two oldest (3 and 6) go to school, we try to start the routine by 8pm and be out by 8:45… leaving tiddlywinks. But she seems to wake 9 hours after being put down, so if I want to be up at 4am, I would do the 7 pm put down. Since I don’t, she hangs with us till she falls asleep. Eventually she’ll have to have a routine too. Of course, at that time I hope to get her out of our bed.

So now, if you want a little more controversy - you can dis (cuss) the whole eat together as a family thing or the fact that some parents still have a 21 month old baby acting as birth control (I mean sleeping in their bed). Just trying to get you some more comment winners……

And sorry I was so late…

Jen’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - Lazy Mom Costumes for Career Day

That would really ruffle some feathers!

I think I’ll stay away from controversy for awhile! This was stressful.

[...] Jennifer’s “Judgy” [...]

My kids go to bed when they are tired. For the twins (5 y.o.) it’s usually sometime between 9 and 10pm, sometimes later though rarely earlier. DS (2 y.o.) usually goes to bed with dh somewhere between 8 and 9pm, maybe a little later on the weekends.

I stay at home, dh works from home, and we homeschool, so we’re really free to sleep when we’re tired and wake when we’re refreshed; no schedules to stick to here. The older girls and I will sometimes go to the store or a late movie if we’re all wakeful and in the mood, but most nights we’re home in our jammies by 8pm.

I don’t really feel a need for “me” time in the evenings. Our kids spend one night a week at my IL’s (two houses down from us) so dh and I can go out to dinner and have some time to ourselves. I work the things I like to do into our days; I’ll read a bit in a book while the kids play on the floor, I’ll work in the garden while they swing on their swingset, I’ll have a nice cup of tea in the kitchen while they watch their favorite show in the living room.

Oh yeah, we eat when we’re hungry, too (so we rarely all eat together as a family, although we’re together nearly all the time) and our kids have always slept with us (we bought dd’s their own bed last week, but they have yet to sleep in it alone.) Somehow, we were still able to conceive ds
Meghan’s last blog post..Friday Fill-Ins for May 9, 2008

We have always done early bedtimes here to and i have no idea how other parents survive. Its not yet 7pm here and both my girls are sound asleep, i would not be able to cope without my evenings - i can manage anything during the day aslong as i know my evenings will be free and my time.

Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..La La La

My 4 and 7 year old go to bed at 7:00. My 20 month old goes to bed between 7:30 and 8. My oldest 2 boys go to bed at 8:00.

They get up at 5:00 during the week so that we can get out the door and I can get to work by 6:30.

If they were able to sleep later, I’d modify the bedtime a little for the older ones, but not by much. But not for the younger ones. They need their sleep. When they lack sleep, they get crabby. When they get crabby, I get cranky. When I get cranky, they get in trouble.

I like my quiet time in the evening. When the last one is in bed, I usually sit for a minute and enjoy the quiet. It’s my time at that point.

I know that there are some that have no daily schedules, and are able to sleep in longer, and in that case, I can see a later bedtime. But for us, early works.

Robin’s last blog post..Another project completed

[...] What time do your kids go to bed? Mine are in bed by 8pm on school nights. Partly because they need their rest, but mostly because, like Jennifer, I need my sanity…or I mean, mommy time. [...]

I could have written this post! Hubs’ fam used to give me a hard time because until Little Man was 2, he went to bed at 6:30 or 7. Only recently did he get to stay up until 7:30 and that is becasue The Babe goes down at 7 and we want big brother to feel special. My kids get up at 7ish regardless when they go down and I am a firm believer that they need at least 12 hours at night and a LONG nap in the day. Not only do I hate to see kids up late around town I hate to see them around town during nap time. Sleepy hungry kids equal crnaky kids and mom.

ourcrookedtree’s last blog post..One Carry On Per Passenger Please

I am new to this blog, but I like it so far.
I am one of the abnormal ones. My oldest is 7 and she goes to bed at 8, after getting off the bus at 5, homework, dinner and bath. She gets up at 7:45am. Her younger brother is 4 and will not sleep. I have had trouble getting him down at a normal time since birth. He was a happy baby to be out at 10 or later. Wal-Mart was like a sleeping potion for him. We would go and then, poof, out like a light. He wakes at 10am normally. The baby is 2 and goes to bed between 9 and midnight. He sleeps until around 9am. No matter what time they go to bed, they all wake at around the same time daily. My husband works second shift and gets home at midnight, I am a night owl, so I think the bedtimes work for us.

Dawndela’s last blog post..Still sick

Well, my 2 are still young, the oldest being in an afternoon preschool class… so yes, they stay up to 9pm. We tried putting them to bed later and earlier, and it doesnt affect the time they wake up. I get home at 530 and I guess I enjoy hanging out with my kids in the evening, its a nice break from my day at work. I work full time and my husband is at home, and the kids are a little clingy when I get home, so i guess that might be why I have no issue with keeping them up. Bug 9ish is my limit. I know when kindergarden starts the bed times will change.

Plus my 2 love going to the store, they are rarely cranky. I can’t imagine however dragging them there at 10pm however.

But, yes, you are being a little judgmental. I suppose many parents get like that. Everyone thinks their way is the best way… for their kids.

The day I get ‘tired’ of my kids is probably the day we go into family therapy. I can’t imagine thinking of them that way.

The family I sit for regularly, whose kids are 4, 2, and 6 months, go to bed at 7pm. And thank you Jesus for that. After 4 or 5 hours, dinner, baths, playtime, reading, etc. I am wiped out! I don’t know how you parents do it day after day. I love those kids, but even I am sometimes counting down the minutes ’til bedtime. The baby sometimes stays up a little later, since he often takes a weird evening nap (something he’s gotten into a routine of doing with his parents) but now he’s starting to go to bed around the same time as his siblings.
I have a friend who babysits for a 4 and 2 year old who essentially have no bedtime. They’re allowed to stay up as long as they please, at 4 and 2, often going to bed as late as 11 or 12, 10pm on a good night. They often take 4 hour naps during the day because they’re so tired. No wonder. Their parents drag them around town, running errands, etc. until they finally fall asleep in the car late at night. Pretty sad, if you ask me. At least I know how I want to raise MY kids when I have them.

flickrlovr’s last blog post..Words to Live By Weekends

I am also new here and came across this post. I have to laugh because I have been on both sides of this debate at different times in my kid’s life. When she was under one, Mom and Dad were both working and she clearly wanted time with us before she was willing to crash, so had a 10 pm bedtime for the longest time. We didn’t mind so much since we liked getting the time with her. Then bam, one day she started going to bed at 7. Now that was nice to have the Mom n Dad time, but it made for really hectic evenings trying to get her home, fed, and bathed. then we moved to Hong Kong and she started in on the 9:30 bedtime again, but was taking really crazy long late afternoon naps. Then bam, one day she moved to her big girl bed, dropped her nap, and started going to bed at 7-7:30. Once again I love our evenings, but there are many nights where she just doesn’t see Dad. So, I used to be one of those crazy people out late with their kids, and I knew people thought I was crazy, but it worked for us, and now it works for us too. By the way now we live in Hong Kong where I have never seen so many kids out late at night. It’s crazy. The city has so many bright lights maybe people think it’s daytime.

[...] must mention, Jennifer did a similar [...]

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I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 3, and Ella, 2. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #1 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools!!." You can follow me on Twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, view my photos on Flickr, and contact me by email.

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2009 Booklist

The Given Day
Love in the Time of Cholera
Esther; It's Tough Being a Woman
~~Why is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?~~ I
~~Whitethorn Woods~~ B
~~The Five People You Meet in Heaven~~ A
~~Paula Spencer~~ B-
~~Digging to America~~ A
~~Rebecca~~ A-
~~The Friday Night Knitting Club~~ B
~~The Reader~~ B+
~~The Shack~~ B+
~~The Kite Runner~~ A
~~Three Junes~~ C-
~~Kitchen Confidential~~ A
~~A Cook's Tour~~ A
~~The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas~~ A
~~My Friend Leonard~~ A
~~Daisy Chain~~ F
~~The Gravedigger's Daughter~~ B-
~~A Girl Named Zippy~~ A-
~~Eat, Pray, Love~~ A
~~Water for Elephants~~ B+
~~The Book Thief~~ A++
~~The Poisonwood Bible~~ A+
~~The Hunger Games~~ A

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