playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren



Let’s Hear From Our Judges

The response I got to yesterday’s post truly shocked me.  I haven’t mentioned this before, but before I hit *publish* on a post, I like to guess the number of comments I’ll receive for it.  I guessed yesterday’s post to be a 34 and thought that it wouldn’t really be a post people felt compelled to comment about.   Apparently I underestimated people’s feeling about children’s bedtimes.   

Most comments were positive, but I got the feeling from a few comments that you felt very defensive about my opinion of early bedtimes, pointing out when I already had, that I was being judgmental (paraphrasing).  When I thought about it, I certainly cannot blame anyone for feeling defensive since I’ve read many others’ posts that have left me feeling that same way and wanting to defend my parenting decisions.   In fact, yesterday there were a few comments where I felt judged for judging.  How’s that for irony? 

I suspect, though, that each and every one of us has tsk tsked someone else’s parenting decisions.  If you were to say you’ve NEVER judged someone else, I’d probably call you a liar (under my breath).  Oh yeah, I said it, a LIAR. Liar, liar pants on fire.

There are many issues that I think, for me,  I can safely say are truly off limits for judging.  Choosing how to feed your infant, choosing whether to stay home with the kids or work, choosing how to birth your children, these are all things that I strive to never, ever judge or criticize.  In fact I cringe whenever I read a post about why breastfeeding is the best for everyone and that everyone MUST try it and that there is no reason not to.   Or when someone says that it’s okay for a mom to work when the family needs the money, but otherwise, no.  Or when people feel like they must educate people about a VBAC after they’ve already chosen to have a repeat C-section.

These are the type of things that literally make my heart all racy and my stomach flutter to read.  I get very nervous when people judge these sorts of things.

We all do the best we can do for our kids.

Conversely, though, I fully admit that I’ve judged for lots of other things.  A mom putting sweet tea in her kid’s sippy cup?  A little girl that I think is dressed like a tramp?  A mom not watching her brat kid at Chick-Fil-A?  Oh, I’ve judged.  

I think that through blogging, though, I’ve learned to be less judgmental about how others parent their kids.  There are millions of us mommy and daddy bloggers out there that come from different backgrounds with a wide-range of experiences and beliefs.   I’m continually learning and expanding my point of view through reading about lives that are not a part of my own reality.  So all the while, as I sit back and occasionally judge, I’m trying not to.  I’m attempting to be more understanding and accepting.

I’m not perfect and won’t ever be.  Neither will you.

We all do the best we can do for our kids.

Now! Moving right along!  *claps hands*  On a completely unrelated note, have any of you tried the Strawberry Banana V8 Fusion?  Oh.  Mah.  Gah.  DELICIOUS.   Just like a smoothie, no blender needed.  You’re welcome!

53 Comments

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  1. Fairly Odd Mother
    Twitter: FairlyOddMother

    May 12, 2008 at 7:41 am

    Oh dear, so I shouldn’t write about my VBAC’s? Thanks for mentioning this b/c, although I will probably write a post about them, I will be careful to watch my tone. It IS so easy to offend someone in writing. I got to eat a lot of humble pie after I had my first and there have been more and more servings as my children have aged.

    Fairly Odd Mother’s last blog post..Like Sands Through the Hourglass



  2. Jennifer
    Twitter: playgroupie

    May 12, 2008 at 8:13 am

    Hey if you have a recipe for humble pie, send it my way, because I eat A LOT of it! (And I certainly eat more now that I have two.)



  3. CanadaMom

    May 26, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Yes, I suppose I felt defensive. However, I do know parents who have early bed times because they just can’t wait to get away from their kids. For my husband and I, we didn’t have kids to get away from them. I stayed home for 3 years and then we switched and bed times have seemed to stick to the 9pm range.

    I will not lie and say I’ve never judged other parents. I know what works for my kids and some of the decisions others have made, I wouldn’t make. But I know that none of us are trying to harm our kids. We just have different styles.

    But I do get irked when I hear, or read, parents who just cant wait for bed times. Even when I stayed home, I wasn’t counting down the minutes to get them out of my hair.



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Jennifer

I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 4, and Ella, 2. Wife and bossaholic to my sugar daddy, Tate. I can eat my weight in nachos. On a related note, I wear Spanx.

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